Chapter 7: Zarina

The persistently heavy rain prevented me from taking a bike ride on the old mine road with Zarina, as originally planned, in order to spend some time privately with her at the beginning of our partnership, to bring us closer to each other and get used to each other. Of course, I knew our Chinese woman quite well after more than nine months of time together in paradise. During my physics lessons, she was one of the most attentive students with Lenya and Fahsai, who always found good examples and simple solutions to technical problems. Her English had become first-rate. In writing and grammar, she was now the best, better than me, because she regularly used a Webster dictionary, which we had found on the architect’s notebook. Zarina, Fahsai, and Priya used this as needed, but for the most part our Chinese comrade. Nevertheless, I knew very little about Zarina. Did she have certain hobbies or interests in the past, who or what had been important to her in her life so far?

Already on the first day I noticed her, because she already had almost the figure of an adult woman and danced slightly while walking. Initially, I wanted to please her. I would have liked to have touched her or pulled her to me, but she always reserved herself. In the first few weeks, she showed me her aversion to any form of overtures. Today I know how good it was for all of us.

Usually she was calm and balanced, but she could also get pretty angry if someone stupid came to her. She had expressed this very clearly to Priya, but also to Kira. She often spent her time with Ananda and Fahsai together. They also seemed to speak their own language, because repeatedly I had the impression that they understood each other from the very beginning, without speaking the same language. Chinese - better said Mandarin, Arabic, and Hindi, these three languages had almost nothing in common. But already in the second week of August, especially between Fahsai and Zarina, the words flew back and forth, accompanied by many gestures.

Zarina suddenly stood in front of me as I left my study. Totally sweet and charming, she told me: “Good morning, my dear partner. I can’t work in the garden today. Do you have a task for me?” Fahsai and Ananda giggled in the background. Smiling, I pulled the Chinese teeny to me. I whispered in her ear: “Good morning, dear Zarina. It’s Saturday, I know.” The hug pulled a little. I gave Zarina’s friends with my right hand to understand that they should leave us alone, but I noticed that many other ladies were also watching us. So, I moved my partner into my study.

We sat down on the exquisite leather armchairs. I explained my embarrassment to the young woman and told her about my plan to go on a bike trip with her today or tomorrow to get closer to us. She quickly understood how I felt. She showed me how wildly her heart was pounding by placing my hand on the left side of her chest. I felt the same way. It was exciting to get to know us on schedule and to have to father a child, if possible, as the group norm provided. So, I asked her to get her tablet and read me her story about her past life and the first days in the camp. Zarina looked at me uncertainly.

Before she was back, I poured myself a whiskey, and had Cara bring us two cups and hot water. Rus had a lot of the finest teas in his cupboard above the bar and also sugar cubes, which I had only recently discovered. Zarina sat down with me again. She was allowed to choose a type of tea. I waved at her with the whiskey mug. “Here’s to a very nice two weeks, Zarina.” After I had drunk a small sip, she just grabbed my glass and took all of the rest. The reaction was appropriate. Her face turned fiery red. She was gasping for air and had pain in the chest area and stomach. Drops of the strong drink bubbled across the table. My laughter died when I caught her evil eye. She was full of horror and anger, certainly at herself, but also at me, who had let her drink. She ran out of the room whining. I didn’t see her again.

Since her story had already been opened on her tablet, I took the time to read. This was not a breach of trust, because I had given all the girls the task of writing down their story and giving me the opportunity to read on occasion. Zarina reported on the complicated family circumstances. An aunt had adopted her as a child because her parents wanted to have a boy as a child. In fact, the one-child policy in China had now been abolished, but Zarina was still suffering from it at the time of her birth. Her aunt was very kind to her in principle, but her husband was very stingy and tried to get money out of everything. Zarina received ballet lessons paid for by her biological parents, participated in beauty contests and won a prize for the first time at the age of six.

Now her adoptive parents became greedy. They found a children’s clothing company that sold their clothes en masse through the Chinese mail order company Alibaba. For several years Zarina worked as a photo model, until her bosom began to grow too early. Now she was useless for the photographers for children’s pictures, but she was given the chance to allegedly undergo training as a model in America. Her surrogate parents received a considerable payment for this. Zarina was taken to Penang/Malaysia by ship. There, like the Europeans in Constanta, she landed in the lowest deck of a cruise ship, where she met Priya, Ananda, and Daja. Later they were brought ashore in an unknown place. Zarina’s narrative was very similar to the story of Lenya, written in book 1. Only her injuries, when she was forcibly pushed through the fence of a port, she described in more detail. Her pants were torn and a piece of meat was missing from her bottom. The wound healed with difficulty, but the Chinese woman did not want to show her bleeding butt to anyone.

It became interesting when she wrote about the events after arriving at our camp:

Now the narrative of Zarina was very similar to that of Lenya, except that again and again her concern for Fahsai appeared, who looked after and mothered her. In particular, she described in detail the great hunger that both girls felt when their cook Luisa did not come anymore. They had helped themselves with raw carrots, which they bit off and kept in their mouths for a long time. She was very grateful to Cara and Lenya, as they repeatedly prepared food for everyone.

It was also interesting that Fahsai was happy later every time and was happy when I, ‘the boss’, had shouted or hit the doctor several times in the first few days. Zarina had the impression that Fahsai would have liked to help me the most. They were both scared of me too. My checking the room order and the calls for order at dinner horrified both girls.

But when it became clear to Zarina that we might have been trapped in the valley forever, Zarina’s mood changed.

’My whole concern now was for my little friend Fahsai. We clung to each other. It was like an oath that we would never leave each other. I was happy to sing the song “We shall overcome”, which Mr. Berthier had sung in front of the palace. Yes, we will cope with the problems; we will use all our strength to ensure that we will survive. Fahsai looked at me with confidence. I was not allowed to disappoint her in any case.’

I would have liked to know how Zarina had thought about my attempts at saying goodnight or about learning to drive a forklift, but her written story was over. I slowly drank some tea. I was looking for my cigarettes to smoke on the terrace; there was a careful knock on the door. Zarina stuck her head in and asked if she could enter again. She apologized several times. She had realized by now that the whiskey thing was her own fault.

We sat opposite each other again. I praised her wonderfully written story, asked her about her hometown and asked her to write down something about our relationship in the first few days, including her trips with the forklift. With a kiss on her cheek, I left her to indulge in my smoke fetish.

Back in the room, Zarina asked me to describe her feelings to me verbally, as it was hard to write about moods. Of course, this was also interesting for me. Zarina’s thoughts and actions from the first days were aimed at protecting her friend Fahsai. They had come to the conclusion that their bodies had been injured because of me, and I would soon fall on them. Anxiously, both avoided every touch of me as much as possible. It was only the thing with my broken leg and the way I begged her to help us all by learning how to operate the forklift, and my words of praise in the process, that somewhat reduced this fear in the Chinese girl. But the less Zarina kept her distance from me, the more frightened Fahsai became. She gave Zarina to understand that she was sure I would do violence to her great friend. It was a long time before Fahsai gradually lost his fear of me.

Zarina handed me her hands and looked at me curiously. First, I thanked her for her frankness and briefly touched her lips. Then I pulled her to my chest. She cuddled up to me comfortably. I quickly had the feeling that she seemed ready to give me her body and let me father a child. But I wasn’t ready.

In the morning I had met Esther alone. She had pressed on to me and said again how wonderful the time with me had been. Laughing, I said off when she asked, to go to the Casa with me again. I was already worried that I had too little time for Luisa, Ramona, and Carmen. I visited the young mum Olivia and her Michael every day, but only for less minutes, because there were a thousand things to do. How should it only become when several girls developed an embryo, they wanted to be caressed and caressed by me, but I had to focus my strength on the next partnership and on my work? It was a dilemma. Finally, I admitted to myself that it would not get any easier in the future. Soon the mothers of the future new-borns would also demand their right, hope that I appreciated the development of their newly born children. I realized that later I would have even less strength for the expectant partners.

In my study Zarina chatted with me about our future in the valley. She made interesting suggestions against the cold. For example, she had noticed the current of the cold air under the roof exit, which allowed the little warmer air to escape up there. The door to the terrace could also be hung with carpets. She had practiced weaving in the village, wanted to borrow the widest loom and weave several carpets with Fahsai, which could then be sewn together and attached to the inside of the door frame as a windbreak.

For this, she received a sweet kiss in recognition. We also went straight to work. From the container warehouse we collected supply material. Zarina and I made a sandwich of foil, Styrofoam, thick cardboard, Styrofoam, and foil again with wire clamps. Babette helped us to screw the package of self-made insulation to the ceiling under the exit hatch. How she handled the heavy hammer drill on the ladder, great cinema. Babette was a godsend. After only a few minutes, the cold wind was as if enchanted away.

Priya was actually a dear young woman, but sometimes very pointed. As I was cutting the polystyrene with Zarina crouching on the floor, she dryly said. “Now I only know how to make children. Learned something again.” Of course, she had some girls laughter on her side but helped us to temporarily seal the terrace exit. We still got the hot air device from the basement. I blamed Priya and Esther for only running the device for ten minutes each, and then letting it cool down for about thirty minutes. We would definitely get our house a little warmer.

Babette asked me if we wanted to use the bale with the thick dark green fabric from the warehouse for something later. Otherwise, she would sew a curtain with Sula and a few other girls, which she would hang as a curtain between the vestibule and the large hall. Later I saw her tailoring in the anteroom. For the first time, the young women tried to sew with one of the two sewing machines they found. Daja had the most skill and joined the fabric into two curtains with fairly straight seams. It was installed the next day when the temperature was even more uncomfortable outside.

We had almost forgotten lunch, but Luisa and Cara called us to the table with a triple gong. Isabella and Mayari had been to work in the village in the morning, and had brought potatoes, thick beets, cut beans and Coca leaves. Curious, they wanted to know from Zarina how it had been. “We were hardworking. We tried very hard to make it warmer for everyone in the house.” Zarina was joking. Priya and Fahsai puffed away, but the two questioners looked confused. Later someone had informed them that nothing had happened yet. Mayari came to us disappointed. She was my next partner according to the planning of the girls and was afraid that their partnership would be delayed further. I explained to her that everything was still unsafe anyway. “Your planning is not my planning. Maybe I prefer Sula or Kira.” I scoffed. “We still have an infinite number of years ahead of us, I suspect. Don’t be impatient, Mayari.” She nodded but was visibly dissatisfied.

The thermometer in the house now indicated about fifteen degrees centigrade. I invited Zarina to a warm bath. From the building manager’s room, I also got a slightly warmer blanket for the bed for us. I brought the second blanket to Ramona, who was always a little shivering in the last few days. It occurred to me that there were also several quilts in the unused rooms in the Casa. Babette and Sula got these and distributed them among the girls.

In my bathroom, a beautiful, very young woman was lying in the warm water and dreaming. Of course, I climbed in with her. We kissed more passionately, but not yet enthusiastically. It gave me great pleasure to touch my partner everywhere and caress her gently. But Zarina was afraid to touch my limb, even twitched away when it unintentionally grazed her hip. So, I decided to give her time. We should not rush anything; we had all the time of the world.

Later we lay peacefully side-by-side in bed. Light kisses and a few caresses were exchanged, then Zarina fell asleep in my arms. Just before dinner, I woke her up. “Did I fall asleep?” she asked me, startled. My nod and a kiss gave her the answer.

At dinner, Sula again left her place to my new partner. It was funny how everyone looked at us inquiringly, but this time no one asked directly. I asked Priya about the program tonight. “Your second chance,” she laughed at me. Today she upset me. She was jealous that Zarina was in front of her in the rank of partnership. It could be, but Priya quickly said to everyone: “Today we are watching a great feature film about a girl our age. She had seriously injured her leg in a car accident, made friends with a horse injured in the leg, and they both got a second chance. ‘Second chance’ is the name of the film.”

Everyone followed my approving knock. “It’s a pity there are no horses here.” Isabella said. “I loved riding at home.” Some giggled, but I showed her my joyfully praising thumb. Again, I realized how little we knew about every single girl.

“Next week I have a special movie for you, ‘Heidi’. You can understand the language wonderfully, and I tell you honestly, I have had tears several times. But today’s film also touched me a lot. Look forward to it.” This time everyone was knocking with anticipation.

Zarina did not want to watch the film. “I would like to visit Olivia and see her son.” Said, done. We walked through the cold to the Casa. The wind pushed us forward but made us shiver with cold. I had not experienced such weather in my first year here in the valley, but the winter in the southern hemisphere hadn’t just begun.

Olivia was happy about our visit. She was sitting with her grandma in the warm kitchen. They had probably used the oven as a heater, but for the young mother and the baby, warmth was also necessary. Later I saw in the corner under the window a round electric radiator. There’s another one in the basement, Olivia told me.

Zarina played with the fingers of the little one. He yawned tiredly in front of him, but Olivia put Michael on our Chinese woman’s chest. I immediately took a picture with my phone. The face of Zarina expressed awe, amazement and, at the same time, happiness. She sat down proudly for the next picture. Olivia showed me a framed drawing on the wall in her living room. It was a beautiful drawing of Olivia with her son. “Who can draw so well?” I asked in surprise. It was Ananda’s work. I didn’t know that from our Indian girl yet, that an artist was slumbering in her.

While Zarina was busy with the baby, Olivia showed me the second radiator. Selfishly, I immediately took him to ‘room 13’, should Zarina want to use it today. And she wanted to. Olivia’s child had awakened new instincts in her. The room was already pleasantly warm when we entered it. Soon we were lying in panties under the warming duvet. Our kisses were now more intense, but my body did not yet desire the new partner. Fortunately, Zarina knew too little about this. She would have been disappointed. I cuddled up to her back and soon fell asleep.

In the morning, the room was pleasantly warm. Zarina was restless; her body had felt my physical desire. Again, I felt that she was afraid of the act. Finally, we just washed, dressed warmly, and sat down at the kitchen table with Alejandra. Zarina thanked me for my consideration when dear grandma looked after Olivia. After some flatbread, a strong coffee for me and tea for my partner, I got the radiator for the palazzo from room 13.

The wind whipped in our faces. We rushed to the gate. Even the lock was slightly iced, but fortunately it could be opened. We ran to the entrance. Here, too, someone had jammed foils and cardboard on the underside of the double door for sealing purposes. The children had again shown a great deal of prudence.

Today was Sunday. Breakfast had just begun. I led Zarina to the table. Everyone knocked on the table in the assumption that we had slept together, so the real partnership had begun. We left them with their faith. Zarina thanked very kindly. Priya helped me to put the radiator under the table into operation with a long cable. Soon I felt how pleasantly the heat spread under the table and gradually rose to us. Luisa was most pleased. She sat close to the device and enjoyed the warmth.

After breakfast Zarina went to the room to chat with Fahsai. I asked Ananda to draw a portrait of our doctor. Amazed, many watched as Ananda created a small work of art with three pencils of different thickness. Ramona was also amazed, but she allowed me to hang the drawing in my study. Esther had found a suitable frame, Babette helped to hammer a hook into the existing dowel hole in the place where the photo of Rus used to hang. The teamwork worked well. Ananda got from Ramona and me very dear kisses left and right on her cheeks.

Not sure if it would look kind of stupid, almost like a trophy collection, if I asked for such a drawing from each of my women, but Ananda agreed to make a drawing of Luisa and Esther today as well. Esther was happy about my attention and kissed me very longingly, which fortunately only Ramona and Priya saw. The pregnant Hungarian had become a master at beguiling me, but I gave her a very light pat on the butt in defence.

Sitting at my desk, trying to read and understand an English translation of a court file from Kiev, Zarina knocked. At my “Come in.” she ran to me and kissed me. “What’s the matter, Zarina?” – “Fahsai is right. We are meant for each other. We should just do it once so that I lose my fear. I would like to have a child so much, please, just do it with me.”

Sitting on my lap, my partner calmed down a little. “Zarina, if you’re afraid of it, we’ll just leave it. You tell me if you want to try it later. We have time. It’s going to be next year or even later or we’ll leave it completely for now.”

“No, I had to promise Fahsai that it would happen today.”

“Then Fahsai just has to convince me. I don’t want it at the moment either. You must not feel any pressure. The feeling must grow in you until you come to the decision: ‘Yes, I want, and now.’ Otherwise, it makes no sense.”

The next kiss was of a new quality. Zarina’s lips and tongue courted me. She not only tried to be more intimate, but she was trying to be with me. I suggested to her that she could come to my bedroom with me after dinner, but I had to read the file now. She took a file from the folder and read something. That was just the prepared plea of the defender of Rus. The trial had been scheduled for 22.11.2016. By that date, Rus had already been dead.

How quickly and well she understood the official texts, I saw only when she sobbed and the tears rolled down. She showed me the place where the lawyer trivialized the child abuse of the Rus and denied occurred deaths as the deeds of the criminal. It had immediately become clear to Zarina what they had been spared here by the death of Rus. She immediately had clear ideas about it, although none of the actions were described in more detail.

“Means, we were very lucky he died?” she said half-inquiringly, half-suspecting.

“Yes, it seems so. I’m sorry I let you read this. I didn’t think you could read the long speech so quickly. Sorry, my dear.” We cuddled up together.

“I’m sure he gave the order to us ... I have no idea ... how should I put it? ... close to us...”

“You can say it calmly, yes, that’s why all girls were deflowered. But we should leave the topic. Everything will be fine, for us, for our future, right?”

Zarina looked me firmly in the eyes. “Yes, everything will be fine. Now my last doubt is gone that it was done because of you. We had sometimes suspected that your quarrel with the doctor was only theatrical. Forgive me.”

After another firm hug, I sent Zarina to the other girls, who used their free time on Sunday. Zarina had given me a lot to think about. She was so right. How should the children understand what had happened around them? They could not exchange their opinions. Each of the girls had been traumatised by the deflowering and that was something they had in common. Who knows what misconceptions were still entrenched in some minds. In any case, they had all suffered damage because they could not exchange ideas. Maybe that’s why Sula, who I could explain everything to in English, and Mayari and Isabella, who could talk to Luisa in Spanish, were the most open-minded girls towards me from the very beginning.

In the afternoon it happened. Without much foreplay, I screwed Zarina. There was almost no resistance to be felt. As with Esther, I had expected to fight my way forward inch by inch. No, Zarina once took a deep and slightly frightened breath, and then I had completely filled her in. My excitement was great, my sexual arousal was at the highest level. I couldn’t hold on to myself anymore. Like an inexperienced boy, I donated my valuable body juice after a very short time. I was almost ashamed of it, but Zarina just let it happen, in an instant she had lost all fear, smiled as if redeemed and relaxed. This was the better of our first intercourse.

Obviously, she was amazed at how unspectacular it had been. Her eyes looked at me inquiringly. “No, that was not all. But you should lose your fear first.” She had trembled when my mouth had approached her abdomen. That’s why I had stopped and completed the unification quite simply. “Thank.” she whispered to me. “Now I’m not afraid of it anymore.” She kissed me almost like my first young partner Esther. Young women probably had a natural instinct to express their feelings with their lips and mouths, without having been taught to do so.

Zarina let herself be persuaded to put her beautiful body on me. My finger traced the contours of her face. Her slightly narrower eyes flashed at me again and again. Yes, she was an absolute beauty. For the first time I was allowed to touch her face with my hand. It was wonderful minutes.

Then Esther rushed into the room. At first, I felt great anger inside, because I believed in an outburst of jealousy. “Come on, quick, Ramona is not well at all.” Already she had hurried away again to take care of the doctor.