Your Mother May Know
by Holly Rennick
Copyright© 2022 by Holly Rennick
Humor Story: She's no fool
Tags: Ma/Fa mt/ft Heterosexual Humor
Your Mother Should Know” The Beatles, Magical Mystery Tour (1967)
Let’s all get up and dance to a song
That was a hit before your mother was born.
Though she was born a long, long time ago,
Your mother should know.
Some hints that your mother may know, the probability being greater if there’s something going on between her and Uncle Rob, as it t may run in the family.
Family Vacations
When your mother looks back during the car ride, she tells your dad something like, “They’re cuddled up just like when we’d put them in the stroller together. Remember? Watch out for passers.”
When you pull into a motel and you two have to share a bed, your mother always claims the side of theirs that blocks Dad’s view. Leave the rubber under the sheets for housekeeping to take care of. They’re used to them. Never down the toilet for ecological reasons. If your dad spots it in the wastebasket, he’ll think it’s from the previous guests and fill out the green “How’d we do?” card. Remind your dad to tip the maid.
You and your brother off to a beach the vacation guide says is clothing-optional. “I wouldn’t want you there with just any guy, but he’ll take good care of you.” Your mother had placed the guide where your dad wouldn’t see it.
Videos (Boy, does this date me.)
“Look, kids, I found Blue Lagoon in the Half-Off bin, something to watch while we’re at bridge. You can’t go wrong with these National Geographic ones.”
Or maybe it’s Flowers in the Attic.
The video store says the last rental wasn’t rewound and it was Close My Eyes checked out on the day when the door was locked when you got home. Uncle Rob was there, having just dropped by.
Dancing
Your mother’s teaching the two of you to tango.
Folks Away
As they leave for bridge night, your mother says within your hearing that she hopes they win a rubber.
You use their bed because that’s where they made you two — Squeak City — and your mother never seems to notice it’s been remade.
Your mother makes racket at the front door when they get back earlier than expected.
They’re off for the weekend. “Wash your dishes. No parties. Head for bed at a decent hour. Stay safe, hun.”
Camping Trip
Your mother sees that you and your brother have zippered your bags as one. “Good idea, you two. Makes a good cushion for when you read after lunch.”
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