EDUCATIONAL ASSESSMENT, Teacher and Student

T: “Your answers suggest you didn’t do much studying. You want to get into college, right?”
S: “Yes.”
T. “Yes, what?”
S: “Yes, teacher.”
T: “So there needs to be feedback regarding your test.”
S: “If you say so.”
T: “I say so: “A spanking.”
S: “You can’t. I’m too old.”
T: “You’re old enough. Take off those jeans. I’m the teacher.”
S: “What are you doing?”
T: “What it looks like, taking off my top. Got a problem with that?”
S: “No, but...”

T: “Like my breasts?”
S: “Uhh. Sure.”
T: “Then say it.”
S: “I like your breasts.”
T: “I like your breasts, what?”
S: “I like your breasts, teacher.”
T: “I thought so. Were supposed to be nurturing, even when we discipline. Now bend over. No, here, over my lap.”
S: “OK.”

T: “Stay like that.”
S: “What are you doing?”
T: “Your underpants are in the way. Don’t worry, I won’t hit your testicles. Ready? One.”
S: “Ouch!
T: “Too hard? How about I rub a little before the next one?”
S: “Thanks.”
T: “Thanks, what?”
S: “Thanks, teacher.”

T: “Here goes. Two.”
S: “Ouch!”

T: “Want me to rub?”
S: “Please.”
T: “Please, what?”
S: “Please, teacher, but just my butt.”

T: “I said I wouldn’t hit them. OK, just one more. Ready?”
S: “No.”
T: “Want me to reach under a little?”
S: “No.”
T: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go so far. Three.”
S: “Can I go?”
T: “Not yet. Turn over.”
S: “Why?”
T: “To make sure you’re OK. The teacher’s supposed to check.”
S: “I’m OK.”
T: “Won’t take long. Roll over.”
S: “Uhh.”
T: “Why are you like that?”
S: “Like what?”
T: “Your penis. Why’s it like that?”
S: “I don’t know. It just. Don’t touch it.”
T: “I’m being careful:”

T: “You want to get back at me for spanking you, right?”
S: “No.”
T: “It’s why you’re like that. You want to take advantage of our situation and rape me.”
S: “What situation?”
T: “Us being alone. Plus that I can’t tell on you without admitting spanking, which isn’t OK in pedagogy.”
S: “Yeah, but I wouldn’t. What are you doing?”
T: “Checking some more. Seems OK. Trade me places.”
S: “Why?”
T: “Sit on the chair. I’ll take off my panties. Don’t look.”
S: “Don’t sit on me like that!”
T: “Who’s conducting this educational assessment?”
S: “You.”

T: “Are you trying to use physical intimidation to undermine my authority?”
S: “No! You’re the one who’s pushing.”
T: “It’s how we’re sitting. It’s what you’ve been planning, right?”
S: “I wasn’t planning anything.”

T: “All boys want to with their teacher. It’s totally natural. You can go in a little, I guess.”
S: “Really?”
T: “So you’ll know what to do when you’re older.”
S: “This much?”
T: “Maybe more.”
S: “OK?”
T: “Maybe again. You can keep practicing.”
S: “Are we.,. you know?”
T: “You’re doing great!”
S: “Ahhhh.”
T: “What did you do?”
S: “I didn’t do anything. I was just.”

T: “You ejaculated without permission is what you did:”
S: “I what?”
T: “Like when you masturbate?”
S: “I didn’t mean to.”

T: “Did you masturbate while you made your plan?”
S: “I didn’t make a plan. It just happened.”
T: “It just happened that you did what you did?”
S: “Sort of. What’s going to happen?”
T: “Not sure:”
S: “You won’t tell?”
T: “Not if you do better on your exams. Do you have a girlfreind?”
S: “No.”
T: “Good. You need a teacher for this sort of thing.”
S: “It wasn’t on purpose.”
T: “The least you can do is say you’re sorry:”
S: “Sorry.”
T: “About doing it too fast, I mean.”
S: “Sorry about doing it too fast.”
T: “Sorry about doing it too fast, what?”
S: “Sorry about doing it too fast, teacher.”

T: “Know what it takes to earn an A?”
S: “What?”
T: “Ten minutes.”

PSYCHIATRIC ASSESSMENT. Psychiatrist and Client

P: “Freud speaks of repressed memories.”
C: “But doctor, I had sex with my brother just yesterday afternoon. I remember everything.”

P: “But what if your mother finds out?”
C: “No problem. She does it with him, too.”

P: “So maybe this is about unrequited affection.”
C: “Maybe so. We get real noisy when we’re left alone.”

P: “Perhaps you feel abandoned in this world, longing for the security of home.”
C: “Our home address is the same for us both, of course.”

P: “So deep within, you hesitate about your brother having sex with you.”
C: “Actually, that’s who I want him doing it with.”

P: “On your parents’ bed makes it Oedipal.”
C: “I think it tastes yucky.”

P: “What about your genes?”
C: “We always take them off.”

P: “You may have a psychosis.”
C: “No way, because we practice safe sex.”

P: “For so many females, victimization is by power and dominance.”
C: “I try to let him win half the time.”

P: “Do you take precautions? Something you might have brought in your purse?”
C: “LIke this rubber?”
P: “Exactly. Show me how you put it on him. I’ll be he.”

P: “I have ‘Cheerleader Countercharge’ on my machine. You’re going to go to college, right? I’d like to participatorially observe how you react. Let me cancel my next appointment.”
C: “Saw it. You can tell where spliced in another film for the alien impregnation part.”