I asked Gilbert if there was anything I could do to help. “I think I’ve got everything under control,” he said. I made a little pout. “Okay,” he relented. “The carrots need peeling.” He brought a bunch of carrots from the fridge and set them on the counter. “Nice fat ones,” I said. “Yeah, after they’re peeled they need to be diced. I could use a machine for that, but I like the personal touch. Anyway, here’s the peeler.” He handed it to me. “Just do it over the counter. Don’t worry where the scraps of skin go.”

I set about peeling. Gilbert watched. Despite my care, the scraps went all over the place.

“Am I doing it wrong?” I asked.

“No. I’m just admiring your technique. How careful you are. Can you do it left-handed?”

I said I didn’t think so. “Why? Does that make better peels?”

“No,” he said, “but the blade is sharper on that side.”

I peeled another carrot. “You know, you’re making me a little nervous.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Should I take over for a minute?”

I handed him the peeler. He did sixteen carrots just like that. And the mound of peels was neat, not all over the place like mine.

“Wow! You are really good.”

“I’m a professional,” he said. “I can practically peel carrots in my sleep.”

“Yeah, but can you peel left-handed?”

“I can,” he claimed.

“Can you peel both-handed?”

He grinned at me. “Now you’re just being silly. Someone needs to hold the carrots.”

“Can’t the cocks hold themselves?” I said. Then I realized what I’d said.

“I am up for a demonstration of that,” he said.

He was definitely up for it. I demonstrated right- left- and two-handed. Then no-handed.”

After he was finished, I asked him about the dicing.

“Uh, no, I think we’ll skip that for now,” he said.