Chapter 1

Andy said, “Emma? Emma Conroy? Little Miss Prim? Her?”

Kenny replied, “Yes, her. You know her, I know you do.”

“Yes, I know her,” said Andy, “that’s why I’m so astounded at hearing you announce this! She’s like this polite little wallflower. I mean, sure, she’s cute, nice smile and all, but she never lets her hair down. Even when there’s people carousing around her, she just sits there demurely with her hands folded in her lap.”

“None of you ever took the time to talk to her. She’s really sweet, and she’s interested in my life and we share the same ideas. And really sexy, too.”

“But marriage, Kenny? For real? I mean, I know Tom tried to make a move on her once and she shot him down right away. Pretty clearly, too.”

“She’s got pretty firm beliefs. They’re not so much religious, it’s just that she thinks certain stuff should be for only after marriage.”

“Kenny ... listen, man. The track record for these kinds of girls isn’t good. They say ‘Just wait, we’ll do all that stuff after we’re married.’ But they don’t. Then you’re trapped.”

“I’m sure it won’t be like that.”

“Have you really never gotten past first base? How do you know she’s gonna lower the draw-bridge after the ‘I do’s’?”

“Well, we’ve kissed and stuff, some grinding, I got my hand on a boob once, but she put a stop to more of that. She brushed my dick with her hand another time. She turned bright red and apologized.”

“There! That’s what I mean! Bad signs, Kenny, pay attention. Girls like that, they can’t usually just flip a switch after the vows and become your personal wet dream. I think you’re gonna wind up getting laid only on the third Saturdays of months without an ‘R’ in them!”

“Yeah, well, here’s the thing, Andy. I love her. Like, a lot. There’s no way I can walk away from that.”

“Oh, man, I was afraid of that. Oh, I wish you wouldn’t do this. I know it’s gonna be nothing like you thought it was going to be like. Please, think about this.”