Chapter 23

Mel clicked on the notification icon and switched to the messages page. The only message was the one from Julezella. Mel clicked on it to open the thread.

“She ever heard of punctuation?” Emma said. She’d left the chair on the other side of the desk to stand next to me so she could read the message too. Mel looked up at her but before she could say anything, Emma shrugged and said, “Ex-English teacher. Sue me.”

“She wants to meet,” I said.

“Bad idea,” Mel replied.

I raised my eyebrow. “Why?”

“Just is. If she wants to do an interview, then she could do that over the phone. No need to meet up.”

“Is she really that attractive?” I said.

“Show him,” said Emma.

Mel reluctantly turned back to the computer and after a few clicks a video started playing. Julezella really was that attractive.

She didn’t match up to my girls though and I said as much. That earned me a cute little smile from Mel and a quick squeezed hug from the side from Emma.

“If we meet, I think we should all be there—us three and Daisy too. The scene is what it is because of her skill as much as anything we did.”

“I agree,” said Emma. “Can we get her on the phone, do you think?”

Mel shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll ask her.”

“Please use punctuation,” Emma said. “It might bring me out in hives if you don’t.”

Mel smirked and carefully typed in a reply.

It didn’t take long before we got a reply.

Mel replied instantly

Again, the reply came quickly.

Mel spun her chair around to face us. “I guess we wait then.”

The number on the website wasn’t the direct line to my desk. Instead it went through the reception desk of the office building and they screened calls for us. It seemed like a sensible precaution given the nature of our business. The phone had a different ringtone for calls from reception compared to on the direct line, so it was instantly recognisable when reception called just a few minutes later.

“You better answer it,” Emma said. “She’ll be expecting to speak to you after all.”

I picked up the handset and pushed the speakerphone button so that Mel and Emma could hear too. “KD Productions.”

“Good Morning Mr Rodgers, I have a Miss Henning on the line for you. She says you’re expecting her call.”

I looked at Mel and she nodded. “Julie Henning. That’s her real name.”

I nodded back. “Put her through, please.”

There was a click on the line and the screen on the phone changed from Reception to a series of five stars indicating a withheld number.

“DP Productions, Dick Rodgers speaking.”

“Dick? That’s not your real name, is it? Come on, what’s your real name. I told you mine.”

“I think it’s a little early in our relationship for that Miss Henning.”

“Oh, call me Julez. Please. Now, are you really going to do an interview with me?”

“I’m considering it ... Julez. But, really, what’s in it for me?”

“Well, I’d be surprised if you didn’t already know, but I have seven and a half million subscribers on YouTube, averaging just under one million video views a day. Each video tends to top out at about nine to ten million views. That puts me in the top three hundred channels worldwide. My blog has about three million subscribers and I average about half a million visitors to the site per day. And, typically, when I mention a product or service positively on my blog or channel, that product or service sees a significant upturn in sales. I’m what they’re calling an influencer. I influence the people who follow me. I’d imagine that if you check the stats on that video of yours, its views are skyrocketing. Am I right?”

“Hi, Julez. My name’s Mel. Melanie Moore. I’m—”

“I know who you are. I watched your video with Dick too this morning. It was more like what I was expecting from a porn video, if I’m honest, nothing like the one with his wife but it was still really good, if you know what I mean—is she there too, by the way? Kitty, I mean.”

“I am,” said Emma.

“Oh, excellent. Hi Kitty. Like I said, Mel, your video was nothing like Kitty and Dick’s—hey, is that what the KD in KD Productions, stands for? Kitty and Dick? That’s cool. Anyway, Kitty and Dick’s video was just ... You know, I’m not often lost for words, but that video leaves me lost for words. I’ve seen it three times now. It’s like a drug, I just have to keep going back to it. You two really do love each other, don’t you? You can tell. It’s so obvious on the screen like that. I think you might have a thing going with Mel, or that might just be really good at acting because the connection between you two isn’t anywhere near the same, but then, how could it be. So, anyway, are we doing this thing, or not?”

I looked at Emma, who nodded. Then Mel, who didn’t—she looked stony-faced.

“Why? Why do you want to do this? What’s in it for you?”

“A YouTube exclusive,” she said. “After what I’ve written and said about your video today, it’ll make a good follow-up piece and I’m hoping that you’ll bring a few fans of your own to YouTube to bump up my numbers. The ad revenue I get is based on the number of views the videos get, so ... Yeah, that’s what’s in it for me.”

“Isn’t our product ... Erm, how do I put this? It’s not your usual fayre, is it? Not the sort of thing I’d imagine your regular audience goes for. In fact, I’d imagine you’re going to upset a few of them. And what’s your target demographic? Is promoting our output to them even legal?”

“I know, right? The blog post this morning has rustled a few people up that’s for sure—but not my fans. They’re lapping it up. Loads of them have commented and said they went to see the video and they loved it. The ones fussing over it are the usual bunch. They complain about everything, but don’t seem to realise that all that does it get me more fans. So, yeah, I’m doing it to be edgy. I’m doing to upset some people and get them writing about me and talking about me. And it’s got to be good for you too, right? Old stuffed up idiots saying how disgusting it all is, but just letting people know it’s there that didn’t and then they go and watch it. Win, win, right?”

“And my question about your target demographic?”

“It’s fine. Really, it’s fine. Yes, I have what you’d call some underage followers—a lot actually—and most of my subscribers are women, who aren’t your usual audience for your ... what did you call it? Output? But it’s clear in my T&C’s that not all the products or services I discuss are appropriate or sometimes even legal for people under eighteen and that it’s up to them to show some personal discretion. So, come on, what do you say?”

I chuckled. “Okay. Sounds like win, win, to me.”

“So? Interview? When are you free? Can you do it today?”

“Why the rush?”

“Because you’ve got to do it while people are talking. If they stop talking it means they’ve forgotten or, worse, moved on to something else. Where are you based? How far are you from London?”