Chapter 2

Family and friends will gather on the third Saturday in June to witness Dianna Stevens marry Ensign Joseph Grainger, USN. He is a Yankee from Michigan who graduated from the University of North Carolina with my sister and talks to me like I’m all grown up. Why would a Michigan boy go to college in North Carolina? Maybe he has felony warrants in Michigan, but I didn’t care because he was cool, and I liked his stories about the Navy.

Even though I like Joe and love my sister, I didn’t want to be a groomsman at their wedding. Momma wanted me to be a groomsman, and Dianna does what Momma says, and no amount of complaining by me or D would make a difference. I’d rather hang out on the Saluda River with my friends and go to the wedding as a guest.

I love going to weddings as a guest because of all the females there; blossoming high school girls with braces, college girls checking out potential spouses, married women trying to remember days past when they were single, and divorcees. Of course, the recently separated or divorced woman was looking for someone to hook up with for an hour or all night. Throw in all the champagne being gulped down, and you have a rowdy crowd of women flirting with every male in the room.

Still, I try to dance with as many women as possible at weddings. I danced cheek to, um, you know, up against their chests, some wearing boulder holders, but many women don’t restrain their girls.

Truthfully, the only tits I’ve seen, besides my sister, were pictures in Penthouse and Playboy magazines. But, hey, a guy can have dreams, right? So forgive me for ranting about my favorite subject.

Being a groomsman, I had to escort a bridesmaid from her sorority, a girl named Ruth Walker. Dianna’s maid of honor, Jenny the bitch, described Ruth as fat, ugly, and stupid. Dianna never said anything about Ruth, but she didn’t defend her from Jenny’s verbal attacks. She only included Ruth in the wedding because Momma wanted an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

The Tuesday before the wedding, Mama had a catered dinner for the bridal party at our house, but someone was missing.

“Dianna, where’s the girl I’m escorting?”

“Ruth? I don’t know. Hey Jen, where’s Ruth?”

“I don’t know? Maybe somebody forgot to tell her?” And all the sorority girls started cackling like witches in a coven.

I was furious that my sister and the rest of her classmates could treat a fellow sorority sister so poorly. So I went out the front door, intending to throw a flowerpot through Dianna’s windshield, but was stopped by the start of a headache. I sat on the porch and tried to relax when an evil thought took root in my brain, my first evil plot.

Looking for Momma in the backyard, I spotted her by the pool, talking to a woman I’d met before, the one whose “girls” on her chest would confuse Mr. Newton.

I laid ma drawl on thick, “Excuse me for interruptin’, but two beautiful ladies lahk the two of yawl should have men fallin’ all over themselves tuh hold your soft, supple hands, ah do declare.” Then I bowed toward my momma’s guest and sucked up some more, “Good evenin’, Mrs. Goldrake. Yawl more gorgeous now than the last tahm I saw yoor lovely face. Is your husband escortin’ yawl tonight? If not, ah’d like to apply for the prestigious position as yoor humble escort.”

“Martin Robert Lawrence Stevens. Stop this disgraceful behavior at once.” Momma looked a little pissed off at me.

“Darla, don’t stop the boy from learning a valuable lesson, how to get what you want. Martin, please call me Olivia.”

“And you may call me whatever you like, Olivia, as long as you call me.” After my initial greeting, I didn’t need the drawl anymore to get attention.

“Martin! You will not address Mrs. Goldrake as Olivia.”

“Of course not, my sweet Momma. Might I be seated next to Olivia, oops Mrs. Goldrake, at dinner tonight; after all, is she not Dianna’s wedding planner?”

“No, you may not. You are in the wedding party and will be seated next to the sorority sister you are escorting.”

“Therein lies the problem, Momma. My date for the wedding, Ruth, is not here, so if I can’t enjoy Mrs. Goldrake’s charms at dinner, I want to sleep over at Chase’s house. May I borrow your car, and then I won’t embarrass you anymore on this fine June evening?”

I put on the biggest fake smile I could muster without breaking my face.

“Very well. But, Martin, I have a hectic day tomorrow and need the car back by 8:00 AM. The keys are hanging on the keyboard.”

I turned back to Mrs. Goldrake, let the tip of my tongue be innocently exposed to her eyes only, took her right hand in mine, and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. When I let the tip of my tongue tap her skin, she gasped, and I spoke in a husky voice, “Perhaps, you might like to join me for a swim in our backyard pool one day when Momma is otherwise occupied, sweet Olivia.”

“MARTIN!”

I turned tail and ran for the house, giggling, before Momma could react.

I ran inside, grabbed the car keys, and went into Dianna’s room, where I five-fingered $100 from her money stash in her teddy bear. Then, as an afterthought, I took D’s VISA card from her purse and drove off in Momma’s classic Cadillac El Dorado to the hotel where the wedding party was staying, the Courtyard by Marriott. I used valet parking when I arrived and walked to the front desk like I owned the place.

“Excuse me, sir. Could you tell me the room number for Ruth Walker? She is part of the Stevens/Grainger wedding party.”

“I’m sorry, kid, but I can’t give you that information.”

“Well then, can you call her room and ask if she will speak to me? My name is Marty Stevens.”

He looked me over, picked up his phone, and dialed.

“Miss Walker, I have a Marty Stevens here who wishes to speak to you.” He listened to her and answered, “Very good. One moment.” He addressed me and pointed, “Pick up the phone on that table.”

I walked over to the phone on the table and picked it up on the first ring.

“Hello, Ruth. I’m Marty, Dianna’s brother, and I will be your escort for the wedding. I came here because of the crappy way my sister and her college friends are treating you.”

“What’s the punch line, Marty?”

“Let me come to your room and talk to you. Just talk. I promise I won’t let my year-old puberty loose on you unless you beg me to.” I was a late bloomer.

She laughed and said, “What the hell. Room 416.”

“I’ll be right up. You won’t regret it.”

I hung up, skipped by the elevator, ran up the stairs to the fourth floor, slid to a stop in front of 416, and knocked.

The door opened, but she’d hooked the chain just in case I was an ax murderer calling on her. I could only see one brown eye and long, black hair.

“Hi. I’m Marty. May I come in?”

She chuckled and closed the door; I heard the chain clicking, and the door opened.

“Come in.”

Her voice sounded very grown-up, rather sexy.

I walked past her and stopped at the end of the bed. I turned around as the door closed and froze. Ruth was beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, hot, a babe, and a stone-cold fox. She wasn’t fat; she had a little extra padding here and there, and after she saw the dumb look on my face, a smile broke out on her gorgeous face and made my legs shake.

“Dianna’s maid of honor, Jenny the bitch, told me you were fat and ugly. Compared to you, she’s a pig.”

“Why do you call her a bitch, not that she isn’t one?”

“She visited Dianna last summer for a week, and when her bikini top got untied in the pool, she blamed

me. No one believed her except Momma, so I was on house restriction for a week. I only had to serve two weekend days because Dad took me to work with him and let me go off with my friends.”

Sizing her up, I guessed she was 5-foot six inches without heels compared to my 5-foot ten inches height. I looked down to see into her eyes and had a nice view of the top of her breasts. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of hazel, begging to be stared into: her cheeks were smooth and soft, pleading to be caressed, and her lips were plump and soft and kissable.

Her breasts held my attention for far too long, pale and smooth, and my imagination was running wild trying to picture what her areola and nipples looked like. I’m here to tell you, ‘Love at first sight’ exists, and I’m suffering from this affliction.

“Ruth, um, do you like to dance? They, um, have a band here in this hotel. They play music you, um, can dance to, not rock and roll or country, just good dancing music. They start playing at 8:00. It’s almost 7:00 now. Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“Slow down, Marty, speak slower. Yes, and yes to your questions. I love dancing, and I’ve eaten already. I brought a few dresses, so let me pick one to wear for dancing.”

Crap, I forgot about dressing up for dancing. But at least I was decent, wearing slacks, a button-up long-sleeved shirt, and my good loafers.

“Okay, How about I wait in the lobby while you change, and we can talk until the club opens?”

“That’s fine because I don’t know you yet, but you are cute.”

I let myself out, and I was doing a Snoopy happy dance in my head as the elevator was going down.

Standing by the elevators, I was sky high, ‘She thinks I’m cute.’

Ten minutes later, she came down in a red dress and shoes. With red lipstick and hair neatly brushed, there was no doubt in my mind I was in love. I started planning our life together, our wedding, the number of children we would have, and the names I loved.

“Marty? Hello, Marty, are you in there? You’ve been staring at me a lot.”

I stood up, “You are so beautiful, and I can’t help staring, and I would be honored to take you dancing.”

Offering her my arm, I walked to a sofa by the club door, and after sitting, I asked the question driving me nuts. Well, I didn’t ask; I just blurted out, “Why don’t they like you? You’re the prettiest, the smartest, and the nicest bridesmaid.”

“You are so sweet, Marty, so I’ll tell you what happened. My parents and I lived in Ohio, and I went to The Ohio State University, pledged at the same sorority, and everything was wonderful. Then my parents separated at the end of my first year when Mom caught him with an eighteen-year-old student. He was a professor at Ohio State, and there was quite a scandal when the story hit the news media. Mom moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, where my grandparents live, and I went with her because I didn’t want to hear the whispers behind my back. So my sorority talked to the chapter at UNC, and they approved my transfer, and I went from being a Buckeye to a Tarheel. Even though I pledged at a sister Sorority, they resented me because I’m not one of them. I might walk the walk, but Ah’s sure ah don’t tawk the tawk, shugah.”

Her attempt to mimic a Carolina accent sounded like my eighth-grade teacher from Delaware; when she mocked the accent in class and got booed. I gave her some background about my family and me, and Ruth told me about her mother. We were laughing and getting along fine when the club opened.

I paid the cover charge, and after being seated, I made a deal with our waiter to keep us supplied with bottles of spring water. We danced for two hours, and I felt like I could dance all night. After settling up with the waiter and leaving him a nice tip in cash, I escorted Ruth back to her room, and when she opened the door, I thanked her for a marvelous evening.

“Would you like to come in?”

“Yes, very much, but people might talk.”

Thanks to my mother, I was very familiar with proper etiquette in the South and how a gentleman should act.

“But why not? We had a great time dancing together.”

“If a twenty-one-year-old man invited a fifteen-year-old girl to his room, how would her mother feel about that?”

“Oh, I see, but I’m only nineteen. I graduated high school at sixteen and received my bachelor’s in three years.”

“Ruth, I really shouldn’t because even though I’m not a man yet, I still am required to protect your honor.”

“Will you at least come inside my room and spend some time with me?”

I thought about it and said, “I would treasure the opportunity to spend time with a gorgeous woman I’ve just met.”

“Aren’t you a smooth talker?”

Yes, I am, and I followed her in, and we sat on her sofa and carried on like two lifelong friends. Before I knew it, it was after 11 o’clock.

“Ruth, I need to get home, so my mother doesn’t give me a lecture. What are tomorrow’s plans for the wedding party?”

“They will be shopping at the mall, having lunch, making jokes about me, and lounging around the hotel pool checking out men.”

“So I guess you can skip all that nonsense and won’t be missed?”

“Probably, but why?”

“To go swimming and tubing at Lake Keowee. My best friend is Chase DeLong, and his parents have a house on the lake. I have six other close friends; four guys, and two girls, all the same age I am. We get together on the lake as much as we can; you know, the guys show off trying to impress girls, and the girls try to attract boys to ask them out.”

I paused to let the image of men and horny boys staring at her with their tongues hanging out filter through my thoughts before continuing, “Last week, they asked me if I was going to the lake any this week, and I had to decline because I expected to be stuck with this fat chick. But, since she didn’t show up and you did, we could make my friends envious and fill their little minds with pictures of what they think we are doing together. So, what do you think, Ruth?”

“Well, I have a bikini in my bag, and the girls won’t even miss me, so I accept.”

“Do you have shorts and a t-shirt you can wear over the bikini?”

“No, I didn’t think I’d need them.”

“That’s okay; you and Dianna are the same size, so I’ll borrow something from her.”

“That sounds like a date, Marty.”

“Great, and after dark, Chase’s dad has a cookout with hot dogs and hamburgers; Tommy plays his guitar, and we sing and tell stories. We can be back here by 11:00. I’ll pick you up in your room at 9:00.”