Chapter 5

A thousand miles away from the horrors that plagued my life. I let a boy destroy years of an emotionally stable lifestyle, a rewarding career, and the respect of friends and family. I blame myself for the tales of woo, I was suckered in with thoughts of fantasy and ended with the tragedy of reality. Adam may not have been the root of my troubles but he was the igniter. Now I find myself a shell of the woman I once was, a fragment of the lady, and ever less as a functioning member of society. I was banished never to return to the life of being Mrs. Burma, wife, and schoolteacher. Now I am nobody, a shadow that walks the streets hiding from normalcy, running from intimacy, afraid to be anyone’s friend or ally. I lost trust in people and would remain on guard to anyone I come in contact with. Adam, at fourteen, did more damage in a few short months than I could have mustered in a lifetime. Still, I couldn’t hate the boy I wanted as my young lover. I couldn’t forget his soft eyes and wonderful smile.

Not having a job, a place to call home, or a vehicle to seek shelter in I was forced to find alternative solutions. I slept in shelters when not full, ate hand outs and on occasions, from the fresh tossed trash of restaurants. I was homeless, broke, and of course, tonight it was raining. Life sucked for me and I had to do whatever was necessary to survive. I took cover in a doorway to avoid the rain when a man came by and shared the space with me. I never seen him before and when he asked how much I didn’t know what he meant. He asked how much I charged for a blowjob. I was insulted beyond belief and told him to go find some fucking whore to do his nasty business with. He left and just as he did my stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday and now I wondered if it had come down to that. I stood there as the rain fell harder and watched people rushing to take cover in their cars or in shops and restaurants that I was not allowed to enter. I knew I had to do something or I would die in a short amount of time.

When the rain stopped I used the time before darkness to get to the shelter. They only had twenty beds and they filled up fast. Sometimes they had sandwiches and I needed that more than a bed. I was to late as the sign said full for tonight. Me and a few others walked away in dismay. I sat on the bench that overlooked the park not sure I would make it through the night. Was this how my once wonderful life ended? Dirty, hungry, and alone?

A man, more like a boy of twenty walked up and sat next to me. he looked very clean, close shaven, and smelled incredible of expensive cologne. He said he was looking for someone to make him feel more like a man. I asked in my weakened voice what he was hoping to find. He said someone that wouldn’t judge his inexperience or shortcoming on size. He was completely honest and either I felt bad for him or I was just so hungry I was willing to do anything. We walked into the park where he asked me to give him a blowjob first and then let him fuck me. He didn’t ask me how much, just handed me some rolled up bills. I was so desperate I took his money and not that the dirty ground meant anything to me I smelled just as bad and sucked his little five-inch cock. He came in my mouth immediately and it was the first protein I had in so long I swallowed it without hesitation. He said give him ten minutes and he could go again and handed me a few more bills. I let him touch me in places and when he was hard again I lowered my pants and let him fuck me. He lasted a little longer this time and being my first in a while he felt good even if he was small. He filled me up and left without as much as a thank you. I squatted where I was and pissed away his donations before counting what he offered. In total forty-five bucks. Enough to eat and use the truck stop for a twenty-minute pre-paid shower. If I was thrifty I could eat for two, maybe three days on this. It was the first time I smiled in a long time and I rushed to get that much needed food in my system.

That was how it began, a blowjob here in the alley, quick fuck in someone’s car, I even went as low as to eat out a few high-class women’s pussies because they didn’t have the courage to let someone know they had lesbian tendencies. It kept me from starvation but I was a long way from pulling myself out of the gutter. I learned to have sex without feeling or memory, it was the only way I could follow through with letting a stranger stick his cock in me and cum without caring. It didn’t happen every day but for now it was enough.

Living on the street does come with risks to your safety. I have been mugged and robbed of what little I had. I’ve been raped by both hard-up men and even those living on the street as I was. It was the price you paid for being vulnerable. I learned to grow eyes in back of my head and carry a solid piece of metal I found to protect myself. sometimes it worked, sometimes it just infuriated those that were the aggressor.

Once I was minding my own business, eating a hot dog I just got from a vendor. I heard them coming but was so hungry I worried more they would take my food than anything else. I should have been more aware of things. I was grabbed and dragged into the back of a parking lot where my clothes were literally ripped off my body. I counted five but I could have been wrong, I was hit in the head a few times to shut me up. Each one took his turn fucking me. Each one made it a joke that when they shot their load it was all over my face. The last one decided he didn’t want any part of my used pussy and forced his cock in my ass. The pain from Adam came back, this was the first time anyone made me do this and I shrieked as his fat cock hurt me as his force stretched my asshole open to accommodate him. I knew I would feel it for days to come but what added insult to injury was when he took it out he made me suck it until he came in my mouth. His cock tasted like ass, my ass and after his load filled my mouth I turned and vomited expelling his contributions with it. this they thought was funny and I could hear them laughing as they ran off and I gathered what was left of my clothes.

That night was the first night in a while I had to cry myself to sleep. Having a man pay you to fuck is one thing, even being forced by someone to take their cock in your mouth could be forgotten. Having five men rape you and perform disgusting acts like they did was never forgotten. I fell asleep grossed out by what he did and still hurting from his forced entry in my ass. I fucking hated men and wondered if I should become a fucking lesbian hooker instead. At least then I could deal with what they had to give.

When the first frost came I knew it was time to head to warmer climates. I would never survive living on the street during the winder months. I went to my hidden stash, a place only I knew of that I kept my life earnings. It was better than getting ripped off every other night. When I checked I didn’t have as much as I hoped. Not enough for a bus ticket which was my intentions. I figured I need another two hundred bucks to get there with a few bucks left in my pocket. I hated it every time I said it but I would have to sell myself and multiple times to raise the cash.

I went to the business district. Men there had more money but it was also risky. The police frowned on the homeless and did everything in their power to keep us moving. It had to be though; I needed those fucking losers to pay me what I am worth. No freebies and no five-dollar blowjobs, not here. I found a loophole using my years of being a schoolteacher and talked my way into letting the police believe I was doing a study on the healthcare of the homeless. Because I was able to conduct an intelligent conversation with them and made every effort to pass along my educational status the story was believable and I was not bothered by them. It made it easier for me to swoop in and suck these motherfuckers dry, both in my throat and in my pocket.

The first couple of days I had a steady stream and it surprised me. Then one night the cops raided the area where I was “working”. It was one that I spoke with and said I couldn’t blow my cover and to let me “talk” my way out of being arrested in front of them. He bought it hook, line, and sinker. As a few of the regulars watched I went to my knees and gave the cop a well-deserved blowjob. I let him fuck my face and when he unloaded I made sure I let some cum seep out from the corners of my mouth so everyone knew I let him finish off in me. It worked as I was their way out of going to jail, I made a new friend in the police force, and for once sucking cock was worth its weight in gold. They left and as I licked my lips in knowing this was my finest hour since being on the streets. Maybe being a street whore did have its perks.