Chapter 37: Praise Bob!

IT TOOK TWELVE more weeks before we moved into the waters of the Asian islands. I looked our ship over carefully in that time and decided it needed a bit of an overhaul. This had been a pirate ship and might be known in the Asian waters. I went to work, changing the sail configuration and the color of the sails, finding a Spanish flag to fly, and disguising the guns so they were not so obvious. This involved moving them below deck to a special platform I constructed for them that would have portholes above the waterline. The guns were thus concealed from sight, though this meant both cabin space and hold storage were lessened.

The space in the hold for cargo did not bother me since we transported all our cargo in the infinity room. The cabins, however, were a different matter altogether. After having crossed the Pacific staying awake for three and a half months and being on deck alone most of the time, I thought I might take on a small crew for the next voyage. I would try to make sure they were men—and perhaps women—who were likely to want to move to the infinity room eventually. I’d offer them the opportunity in exchange for their service.

We sailed into port in Manila harbor and were directed immediately to the Parian, where Chinese merchants were set to trade and exchange goods for the silver we carried. I called up a full crew from the infinity room for this operation and several women to help with the trade negotiations. Having women driving the deals threw off the Chinese merchants, but they soon accepted them when they found they could neither out-haggle them, nor kidnap them.

There was an attempt at the latter and six thugs found themselves nailed to the door and front wall of the merchant who sent them. I am happy to say, I had nothing to do with that operation. My women acted in self-defense and were never seen harming a soul. We might even have gained a little edge that we would not have had if I had been bargaining directly.

I busied myself with the process of hiring a crew. This involved hanging out in a variety of dockside taverns where there were always sailors enjoying shore leave, and drinking large quantities of Tubâ, a Filipino wine made from fermented palm sap. I collected a few dozen pottery jugs to add to our collection of wines in the infinity room. In the long run, they proved to be quite popular to trade in Mexico and we made the wine a regular trade good on our future trips.

Oh, yes. The crew. I was not particularly successful at recruiting experienced sailors, but I found a region of Manila that was populated by women of the night. I found many of these women to be perfect candidates for sailing a ship. Most were unhappy with life working on their backs and many dreamed of escaping to the sea. The women would need to be trained, both in sailing and in martial arts. I was not going to have women on my ship who could not defend both themselves and the ship.

I ended up with nearly two dozen women who listened carefully to what I had to say—spoken mind-to-mind, since I did not speak Tagalog—and decided the life I offered was considerably better than what they currently had. I might have nudged them just a little when it came to believing that what I said was true. I led my new crew, along with their belongings, back to my ship, which we’d christened the Erinyes. I had it in mind that wherever we found pirates who had abducted women and enslaved them, we would utterly destroy them and visit vengeance upon their heads. I intended to find the Sunrise someplace during our voyage.

We left the harbor and sailed out to sea, following the current that had been charted westward. The eastward current was much farther north than the westward current, but once we reached the continent of the Americas, we could sail south along the coast without a great deal of difficulty. So I was told.

During the first few days at sea, I spent my time instructing the women on how to sail the ship, while Zhi came out on deck to instruct them in self-defense. The women took to both forms of instruction with zeal and soon I had women crawling up the rigging and scrubbing the decks, trimming the sails and handling the tiller. For a while, I would need to keep one or two of my women on call with them when I disappeared into the infinity room, but I felt that at last I could spend time there to see if I could help the rescued slaves.

I can say that dealing with the women who had been kidnapped, enslaved, raped, and abused by the pirates was not completely unlike dealing with any animal that had been abused. The concubines who cared for them had regained a measure of trust, but that was not shared by any man. I sat in the room with them quietly for some time, just being there. They finally reached the point of ignoring me, which I considered a sign of progress. After an exhausting time of just sitting quietly, I left to go to bed. I made love with Josie and Maya, but it was a kind of sad lovemaking in which we knew we needed comfort more than sex. We slept together.

“Master Bob! Master Bob!” Zhi called as she shook me awake. I sat up ready to rush to the deck if we were being attacked.

“What is it, my precious. What has you upset?”

“After you left the captive women this evening, I sat outside the room meditating to see if I would be shown how to reach them and comfort their minds. As I meditated, I thought I heard your name being called. I pressed my ear against the door and heard the women chanting softly, ‘Demon Bob come to us. Demon Bob save us.’ Bob, they don’t know it is you!”

“Can it really be so simple as telling them I am Demon Bob?” I asked.

“No, it can’t. They would not believe you. Remember one has seen you in your full goat glory. They will only believe you if you show them who you really are,” she said.

I rose from bed and stood in front of my mirror. My Spaniard body was looking a bit worn and I didn’t like it much anyway. I released the spell that kept the form and stood before the mirror in my horns and goat legs with my huge phallus dangling between them. Zhi nodded.

“And here I was afraid I’d frightened the poor girl even more,” I said.

“She has apparently convinced the others that Demon Bob is their protector and salvation. You may need to do whatever is necessary, Bob,” Zhi said.

Whatever was necessary. When I’d rescued the girl from the sea, what had I said? ‘Rest in my arms, child. Bob has you now and I won’t let you die.’ This was going to tax my acting skills.

I reached the door with a dozen of my warriors and women behind me. I did not open the door; I broke it down. The warriors and women behind me raised a ruckus, demanding to know what I was doing. I shouted back at them.

“Stand away. You have rescued my beloved servants. I will not have them come to harm.” I turned and looked at the women who stared at me with awe. Then one at a time, they knelt and pressed their faces to the floor in obeisance.

“My precious daughters. I have found you at last. You were captured and rescued and now I have found you. No one will harm you ever again.”

One by one, they lifted their heads and looked at me in all my horny goat glory. Then they began to chant together, “Bob our master. Bob our savior. We will serve Bob forever.”

I knelt in front of them and opened my arms. They rushed to me and let their tears flow at last.

“Our master and savior, let us serve you. We are unclean. Take away our filth and let us be your priestesses forever,” said one of the women. I quickly identified her as the one I’d pulled from the sea.

What??? Priestesses? My first thought was to refuse such a blatant affront to the gods. But there were no gods in the infinity room. I created it. I populated it and made a paradise. And as far as the women were concerned, this would be a true means of healing for them.

“Listen and hear my decree,” my voice boomed out so that all in the outer chamber could hear me. “These are the precious priestesses of Bob. I will take them to the water and cleanse them of their unrighteousness. They shall build to me a temple and shall minister to my people, now and evermore. They shall receive from my people their measure of food and wine. They shall want for no physical thing. They shall be devoted to keeping my light in my temple. Let this thing be!”

Eh. I tried to make it sound godly, but I could see Zhi and Josie in the outer room, holding each other and trying not to laugh. Nonetheless, they led the response: “It shall be as you have decreed, oh Bob.”

I led the women out to the pool in the courtyard where my concubines and I had often played. This time, however, I stepped into the water and summoned the women one at a time. I played John the Baptist and immersed each in the water, blessing her and ‘making her righteous.’ Then I kissed her lips and set her back on the edge of the pool. I swear, she glowed. As I set each of my priestesses back on the edge of the pool, the light from their spirits shone around us. I looked at them and spoke a spell to dry their clothes. Their light shone brighter.