Chapter 9: Home is Where the Ramp Is

It was the Saturday scheduled for the big house-finding expedition. Shari parked her red van in the blue ♿ parking spot by the front door of Sam’s facility. The van’s side door slid open, and a ramp extended out, like a tongue.

Vern pushed Sam up the ramp and parked him behind the front two seats, between the sliding side doors of the van. Shari’s chair was parked (and clamped down) behind the steering wheel, and Vern sat to her right in the front passenger seat.

“Here we go. Vern, direct me to the first house for today.”

Three Hours Later.

“Sam, Shari, we have seen and reviewed every property on my list. How about we find a restaurant and decompress?”

“You’re on, cousin,” answered Shari. “Let’s go to Andretti’s for some pasta, Sam’s treat. OK?”

Forty Minutes Later.

“Ah, that hit the spot. Vern, your choices were just right for me today. I’m sure we could have a big discussion and charts with pros and cons.

“But I’ve made up my mind, I want to offer on the third house we saw, the one on Walnut Street. Here’s why: all of today’s houses were accessible, with ramps up to the front door’s threshold. But the third house had extra amenities for someone in a wheelchair. The hallways and doors are wide, there’s no carpet, and the kitchen and bathroom counters are lowered.

“It is the most recently built, so I anticipate few problems with plumbing, electrical, and so on. Last, it’s on a quiet street only three blocks long.

“I call for a vote: all in favor?”

Three hands were raised. It was decided.

“Vern, you have my complete endorsement to negotiate the sale. I honestly don’t care how we get there, but I want that house. We can go above the asking price, if necessary, but I’m confident you’ll work out a good deal for me. Tell them we’ll pay in cash, the entire negotiated price.”

Shari exclaimed, “Woof! You own a gold mine or something?”

“No, I heard from an insurance company I had forgotten about. We had taken out a life insurance policy on Lila when we were paying our mortgage. The premiums were automatically deducted from Lila’s paychecks, so I didn’t see them and forgot all about the policy.”

“The payout qualifies as ‘double indemnity’ because it was a death by accident. The total runs close to the asking price of the new house. That’s why I can purchase in cash and recoup the money when I sell our old house.”

“There’s one more reason I want to move fast, Vern. They are going to expel me from skilled nursing, as soon as I can fully ditch the opiates. I’m just not willing to stay in our old house surrounded by reminders of Lila. If I have to, I’ll get a short-term rental.”

“It’s my hope that we can close quickly, grab the keys, and get the new place furnished right away so I can move in. Vern, tell me: am I being crazy?”

Shari jumped in. “I think you’re being not crazy. I’m fully convinced, and I’ve known you for just three days. But for moving fast, you have good ideas. What about you, Vern?”

“Sam, I’ll do my very best to meet your requirements. Don’t forget we need a thorough and independent home inspection. Some of the newer construction I’ve seen is really slapdash. But I didn’t see any red flags on Walnut Street. I’m going to need a check from you as earnest money when we have a purchase agreement.

“One more idea, Sam. My wife Connie has a good friend who does interior design. Paula can help you get the new place furnished fast, attractive, and comfortable. You don’t want your new home full of allegedly Scandinavian particle board furniture.”

Shari drove them all back to Sam’s facility. “Sam, we have a lot more to cover together. Monday I will pick you up at 11:00. We’re going on a picnic. I’ll bring everything, just be ready.”

“Sounds great, Shari. Thank you for being part of today’s expedition, and driving. And Vern, I am so appreciative. You really know your business. Everything’s going to work out great!”