Chapter 23

“This is a shaman’s staff,” Scoobee said, holding up the piece with both her hands. “Thicker, better wood, and with pretty drawings all up and down from top to bottom.”

“I believe those drawings are called runes,” Jack said, struggling to hold back from grabbing the staff from her. “They are supposed to connote power and attributes.”

“Well, this ‘rune’ says ‘Fangor Tavern and Inn is for lovers,’ and this one says ‘Alneeda is alright-a,’ Scoobee said. “These staffs are expensive and little advertising goes a long way in paying off the debt.”

“How much did your uncle charge me?” Jack asked with a sigh.

“No charge,” Scoobee said, breaking into a smile. “He had not submitted his bill for Mr. Assyrtiko yet and I suggested we roll up the staff in the same bill since the staff can be used for medical purposes. You are charging his treatment to corporate, yes?”

“Yes, his gastric attack will be submitted as a work-related injury,” Jack said. “Details aside, how does this staff work as opposed to the walking sticks we’ve been using?”

“Grab hold of it,” Scoobee said. “Uncle says using it is self-explanatory. If you’ve got the mojo, you know the go-go.”

“Who is teaching you ‘mojo?’”

“Dr. Kat had much to say at her lecture late this afternoon,” Scoobee said. “You missed a good session on human traits for generating magic. Male and female humans need mojo.”

“I think a little piece of my intestine just died,” Jack muttered. “I’m sure there is more to it than merely holding it.”

“Fine,” Scoobee said with a scowl. “Take away all my fun. The top end works like the staves, only you have more control over what and how much. The bottom is a heddle hook.

“A what?”

“How can you do magic and know nothing about the weave?” Scoobee said. “You use a heddle hook to lift the individual warp threads to pull them under and over the weft threads, and to shift the weft threads to allow for more warp threads.”

Jack dropped his hands. “Pulling weft threads is dangerous. Ralph was yanking at them when he tried to escape. Hypatia had to yank them the other way and we got caught up in that herky-jerky thingamabob that left Ralph in weft sliced piles of goo.”

“Whatever,” Scoobee said. “You’re a shaman and you have to use the heddle hook. It’s your job. Stop being a baby and take the staff, Jack. Don’t make me spank you.”

“Since when did we move into sex?” Jack asked.

“Jack, quit stalling.”

“Fine,” Jack said, snatching the staff from her hands. The first sensation he felt was warmth. Magic staves were oversized walking sticks that felt like the wood from which they were made. ‘Those were toys compared to this beastie,’ Jack thought to himself. Magic pulsed within it, and the closest association he had experienced was touching the god’s fossilized turds to recharge a stick. This was ten times, no, a hundred times more powerful. “This is a staff,” Jack marveled.

“He’s definitely a shaman,” Scoobee said to Spin. “They’re always speaking the obvious. Next, he will be blathering how we cannot understand this or that, or some other nonsense. Give him some more time and he will walk around the place mumbling to himself and grumbling about the pitiful state of affairs of the puffen huff and their broods.”

“How can you hold a shaman’s staff,” Spin asked. “I was taught they burn your hands off your wrists in a heartbeat.”

“They do,” Scoobee said, keeping an eye on Jack as he took an experimental twirl of staff. “I’m now the dragon’s claw, remember? I can’t really use the thing but it’s not going to torch my nimblies.”

“Incinerate,” Spin said. “The proper term is ‘incinerate.’”

“Jack, do you know which end makes the staff go bang?” Scoobee asked. “Stay on task, Spin.”

Jack pointed to the top, “same end as the walking sticks. There are probably some control issues, like too much, too quick. I feel confident with a bit of practice, I can use this staff effectively.”

“What about the other end,” Scoobee asked.

“I feel the nubby toe of the staff and the hook above it,” Jack said. “I’ve seen this sort of thing before, somewhere, like flipping through pages of domestic life magazines when sitting in the doctor’s office.”

“You mean ‘women’s magazines?’” Spin said.

“I did not use that term and it may not be used against me in any sort of formal complaint of harassment to HR,” Jack said.”

“Ignore her, Jack,” Scoobee said. “Try touching the weave with the staff. All I want you to do is touch it.”

Jack took a deep breath and centered himself. Reaching out into the magic within the staff, he gently touched the weave under his feet. As he touched, he watched the weave appear like the vision the dragon shared, like an overlay on top of reality. He pushed a thread with the knob. Where he touched trembled, creating waves that travelled down the thread in either direction.

“What did you do?” Spin said breathlessly. “It’s like you jiggled all of me and ruined my panties in a flick of the wrist.”

“I wish,” Jack said. “I’m a little bit in awe of what this staff does; it’s intimidating. If a soft touch did what you said it did, what terrible crime was Ralph committing by using these threads? Your panties, really?”