Chapter 22

“So, you are the human shaman,” the orc said. The diadem on her head gleamed. “You certainly add new scents to the locale.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Sachem Oza,” Jack said with a nod of his head. “Your daughter has many good things to say about you.”

“You can call me by my given name, Ponder,” she said. “A word of warning Shaman Jack: don’t lie to me. If my daughter has something good to say about me, lightning strikes a hobbit dead. There are no crispy hobbits around here for a hundred leagues.”

“Human etiquette insists on issuing a compliment when meeting a person of high rank,” Jack said. “For the record, she worries a great deal about your opinion of her and she does not stoop to belittling you to me.”

“I’ll let this instance slide then,” Ponder said. “Why do you want to schtup my daughter?”

“Ah,” Jack stumbled without a thought in his head.

“You don’t want to schtup my daughter? Is something wrong with her or is there something wrong with you?”

“The equipment works fine, thank you for asking,” Jack said, struggling to regain his footing. “However, we are standing in the middle of a dangerous situation, and I am responsible for all of the people in this facility. No one is schtuping anyone today if they have a dash of insight into what we are facing.”

“These invaders are fragile human beings,” she said. “They will be dead soon enough.”

“No, I wanted to believe that conclusion, but I do not accept it any longer. First, they are armed with deadly human weapons designed to kills tens of people rapidly. Second, they have been running through the Twilight Lands for almost forty-eight hours, and they are not dead. Third, the human warriors pursuing them are worthless.”

“Circumstances will change, Shaman Jack. The land near the border is less fecund than the rest of the Twilight Lands, which is why we ceded it to humans. The closer they come, the sooner they will die.”

“Fecund? Have you been reading Spin’s word list?” Jack asked, the worry lines on his forehead straining.

“My daughter’s choices in hobbies always include putting the future of the tribe first,” Ponder said. “If her expanded word lists make communication between the Oza clan and the humans stronger, then I embrace it for both me and my daughters. We are mighty generators of magic among the folk, Shaman Jack, and we match it with our business savvy. My word choice was correct, was it not?”

“It was correct,” Jack admitted although he did not want to say it.

“You are shaman, and you could order me to send my warriors to help,” Ponder said. “You are not impressing me.”

“We have different ways, the humans and the magic folk, Ponder. My own leaders would have me up on charges and convicted of manslaughter if I ordered your warriors into battle and any of them died. Those laws put me in a bind, forcing me to rely on human warriors to track down the humans.

“However, I can ask you if you have volunteers who are armed that can help me escort my guests and human staff to the border. In truth, I do not want magic folk to die because of human stupidity. The folk are dear to me, and I believe in the spirit of the Compact.”

“Now I see how you set my daughter’s generator humming,” Ponder said. “You can impress. You must have jumpstarted her ignition if this is how you speak to the magic. There are numerous new scents that have the dragon and I salivating, which she claims originate with you. I was skeptical of the dragon’s recitation, knowing their reputation for bending the truth. Now, I am inclined to give her report some credence.”

“I’ve been told that women of the Oza clan can physically damage a human when they are generating magic,” Jack said. “I have kept Spin at arm’s length until now.”

“We are powerful,” she said with a grin. “You are shaman now, Jack. The dragon has knitted you more firmly into the weave. As far as my daughter generating magic is concerned, you are more durable. Still, there are many ways to break a man, and most of them give Oza women great delight in the process.”

“Just the thought of breaking a man has you generating magic,” Jack said. “I smell caramel.”

“Yes, I’m getting creamy between my thighs, which I’ve been fighting since I came into this office,” Ponder said. “You are good medicine for a woman. I think you will be good for my daughter. My other daughter is giving me some trouble as well; strong women produce strong character. I’m thinking I should summon Zarahg to intern here for a time now that Spin is moving into management.”

“She is?”

“Yes, Andres has already tentatively signed off on her moving to the management track,” Ponder said. “I’ve no doubt he will confirm his decision after tomorrow. He had a helluva lot of medicine shoved up his ass the day before. I’ll grant him another day to recover.”

“I see,” Jack said, trying to picture his boss flirting with all these powerful women on his couch. He decided his imagination was not up to the task.

“One last thing, since we are going to be related,” Ponder said, tapping her cheek with her index finger. The nail curled slightly and appeared razor sharp. “I have liberated the sack of raw peanuts in the shell from your office. I understand you planned to sell them to the tavern at the local crossroads. You would have made 30 percent profit with minimal effort. However, the Oza clan has better sourcing than you do alone, especially since we have business beyond the Twilight Lands and into the Magic Lands beyond. A peanut crop should take in our soils, and an emergent market of an exclusive agricultural product would be lucrative. I will grant you the usual family contract of 42.5 percent of the net profit plus a 25 percent yearly residual for each regenerating crop.”

Jack shook his head. “Thank you for taking the initiative. However, I will only agree to 42.5 percent of the gross on the sack.”

“If its gross you want, then the contract is 20 percent,” Ponder said.

“Then I will take back my sack,” Jack said. “Possession does not give you any rights in the Twilight Lands.”

“Fine, 30 percent.”

“Forty percent of gross on the sack and 25 percent of the actual yield from the fields per year,” Jack said.

“You will impoverish us,” Ponder declared, stamping her foot.

“We can renegotiate after three years,” Jack said with a greasy smile. “Besides, you play in the commodities market, and I don’t. A little less twee-honey on the table for a few years will save the clan many cavities.”

“You don’t have to be snotty about it,” she said.

“Well?”

“Fine, I’ll have a contract drawn up today and sent to you,” Ponder said.

“Do I need to hire a dark elf to go over the terms of the contract or are you going to use standard boilerplate without tampering with the fine print?”

“Damn, you are better at provoking me to generate magic than my first husband,” Ponder said, squeezing her legs. “Yes, the standard contract will serve and now if you will excuse me, I need to find one of my husbands.”