Dedicated to katpoker666

“That’s my cousin’s tic. Not sure exactly how he picked it up.”

“He yells random racial slurs, everywhere. In public, crowded places, buses, subways. It’s a real problem.”

“I’ll bet.”

“That’s one fucked-up case of Coprolalia...”

“Most people can’t believe it. They’ll raise eyebrows or yell at him. Sometimes they laugh. He’s been punched in the head at least twice, that I witnessed.”

“It’s not like he can help it. He’ll be talking, like a normal conversation, about weather or sports, and then in the middle of it, he’s just dropping n-bombs.”

“With the hard ‘r?’”

“With the hard ‘r.’”

“Oh boy.”

“Boy? Isn’t that one, too?”

“It depends on the context. But I’m losing track these days. Getting offended, outrage seems to be an American national sport.”

“Bro, I ascribe to the George Carlin school of thought. It’s not the word but the context.”

“Nah, I hate those words. I think racial slurs are disgusting as cockroaches. I guess since we don’t hear those slurs much anymore, too, just actually hearing them, even less nocuous ones, like, ugh, it’s a kick in the teeth.”

“I’m still with George Carlin. Intentions matter more than consonants and vowels.”

“The philosophy of George Carlin should be taught in colleges.”

“Maybe your cousin should become a comedian.”

“He should go on Joe Rogan.”

“No, it’s really not an act. He always had Tourette’s, would yell curse words, but then it took a dark turn.”

“I think it all started when he watched a gangsta rap video on YouTube.”

“There’s those ‘parental advisory’ labels for a reason.”

“He’ll be like, talking normally, like, ‘Yup, the weather... ‘ then ‘N-BOMB!’... ‘ ... is sure hot.’ He totally screams the slur too.”

“I’m not sure what can be done about it. It’s not as if he’s trying to ... He’s ... aware of it. But just can’t stop.”

“I feel sorry for the dude. A problem like that must seriously limit social opportunities. Can’t invite a guy like that to a wine tasting, a trivia night, a play, or a Tupperware party.”

“His employment options must be limited too. Imagine a guy, in the next cubicle, just randomly screaming racial slurs every couple of minutes.”

“And it’s not only n-bombs, but every ethnicity. I don’t even want to repeat any of it.”

“Even saying those words, these days, whether it’s in malice or simple reporting, can get you in hot water. Have a social media mob breaking out the pitchforks.”

“There are plenty of people on the internet just sitting around, waiting to get pissed off.”

“I think that’s Facebook and Twitter’s entire business model: Piss People Off.”

“I don’t know what to do...”

“In China, lots of families have a room in their house, that they’ll use, to lock up and hide their crazies. They just lock them in there, open the door every so often to throw them food, but they won’t let them out.”