Chapter 4

Sunday June 11

I had thought Paul said we would just be lounging around the condo today. Remembering Penny’s advice to always look for ways to keep things sexy, I tried something new, clothes-wise: cutoff shorts, a tanktop, and no bra. This was definitely not part of the Penny-approved wardrobe, but I figured I had a sense of Paul’s taste enough to improvise. It was just going to be hanging around home after all.

I honestly wasn’t sure if Paul would notice. I mean, I can fill a B-cup, but there’s nothing monumental about my breasts, and the the shirt is thin but not sheer. Still, Paul’s eyes kept hungrily zeroing in on my nipples, so I knew I had made the right decision.

Around 11:30 Paul asked if I wanted to go run errands with him. I said yes - any chance to get out of the house - and that I’d go change. He suggested that I didn’t.

Both of those were completely innocent requests, left totally up to me. I can tell with Paul now. Sometimes he’ll say something like, “What do you say we go to bed?” And it’s clear that my employer is telling me to do something as part of my job. But in this case I knew he wouldn’t have minded if I’d stayed home, or if I’d changed.

I know that going out without a bra is perfectly normal to plenty of women, but the way I was raised, it was unthinkably risque. I was nervous about it, but Paul clearly liked the way I looked, and nobody knows me in this city, so what the hell?

We dropped off a pair of his shoes for repair. We had lunch at a nice outdoor bistro. We bought an antique clock for his mother’s birthday. We stopped by Brian Lindell’s house and met his wife and kids. And we hit some foreign currency exchange place where Paul handed in a big wad of colorful bills of some sort.

The whole time I felt exposed. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but I was really nervous. It was also a thrill. A couple times Paul caught me subconsciously folding my arms in front of myself. He smiled as if he thought I was silly and I loosened up for a while.

On the drive home I asked him, “So is today the day I finally get to taste you?” I glanced at his groin to make sure he knew what I meant.

“Let’s see what happens when we get home,” he answered.

It happened. It happened hard. Basically as soon as we got home I pushed him into the couch, teased him, and then sucked the life out of him. It was fun to be the one in charge for a change - to know that he couldn’t resist what I was doing to him no matter how hard he tried.

He fell asleep right after. He’s still there asleep on the couch. In a minute I’m going to make up some salads - I don’t think either of us wants a heavy dinner. Then, maybe we’ll watch a movie or something.

Monday June 12

I hung around with Kevin and Brie at the coffee house again today. They’re at that goofy sickening phase of their relationship where everything one of them says moves the other one so much that they have to kiss. It’s funny.

This whole summer is a vacation to them. When they’re not going to baseball games they’re doing stuff like 3-day river rafting trips. They said I should come with them on one of their adventures. Sounds fun, but I have my duties here.

I met with Liz again, and she asked me questions about the party. She was frustrated that I hadn’t seen much, due to my lack of glasses. It was a little weird when I told her about Julia faking her orgasm when I was going down on her, but Liz had said to tell her everything, and that part wasn’t in the notes I had emailed her.

I tried researching that Jenn Mooney girl from Paul’s videos. There were, of course, a million hits on the name, but I couldn’t find any that seemed the right combination of age and location.

Tuesday June 13

I’m an idiot. I had assumed that those videos of Jenn were branch new. Nope - the metadata says they happened twelve years ago. With that in mind I expanded my search and found Jennifer Mooney-Taylor: soccer mom and Deputy Commissioner of Education for the state of Georgia.

I wonder what Paul wants with her? Some kind of ex-girlfriend revenge porn? I spent most of the day scouring their social and professional media pages, but couldn’t find a link between them.

I suppose I could go visit her. I have no idea what I’d ask her, but maybe something would come up.

Wednesday June 14

I sent Paul a selfie today with the caption, “Thinking of you.” I was naked, with wet hair, in the middle of our living room, which has tons of natural light. I was sitting with my knees in front of me so you couldn’t really see anything inappropriate, but you could tell that I had nothing on. It was cute.

Paul didn’t text back, but I’m sure he’s a busy guy.

I also had a weird-as-fuck phone call with my mom today. Obviously she doesn’t know the nature of my “summer job”. She thinks it’s a software internship with a big media company.

Understand that my mom was always pretty religious, and definitely always pushed the no-sex-until-marriage thing on me. Other than telling me not to do it, that was about all we ever talked about sex in my house until I asked to go on the pill at seventeen. A year and a half ago it came out that my mom wasn’t a virgin when she married my dad. They got separated a little while later. In the last several months they’ve been talking about getting back together, but they’re still seeing other people.

So we were chit-chatting about Atlanta and how many trees there are, and pollen, when out of the blue she changed topics. “So ... we never really talked about sex ... Other than the biology behind it.”

I laughed. “It’s okay, mom. I know how to be careful.”

“I know you are, Lexi. You’re so very responsible,” she said. “But we haven’t really talked about it. Like, do you know how to enjoy yourself?”

I stammered for a second. “Well, yeah. Of course. Doesn’t everyone?” I guess in hindsight that’s not true, but I’d certainly never thought of it as something you need to learn.

“Okay, good,” she said with a little hesitation. “And you’ve tried ... things? You’re not afraid to tell your boyfriend when there’s something you want?”

“Well, yeah,” I said again. “I’m not going to put up with a guy who won’t work with me. It’s something you do together.”

Mom didn’t say anything so I asked, “Mom, where’s this coming from? Is there something going on with you?”

“Oh, everything’s fine, Lexi,” she told me. “I’ve just been dating again - having some new experiences - and I’ve been wondering if maybe I failed you as a mother by not preparing you for these things.”

“Mom, stop. You did a great job raising me,” I replied. “I’m good. Really. But I’m kinda worried about you. Is something wrong?”

“No! There’s nothing wrong,” she said. “There’s just a lot that’s new in my life is all.”

“Mom, do you have someone you can talk to about this stuff? Girlfriends?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Okay,” I said. She was trying to reach out to me, I think, but I wasn’t sure where to go with it. Does she want me to give her advice on blowjobs or something?

“You know there are places on the Internet where you can have real discussions about this stuff,” I said. “It’s not all porn. ‘How do I talk to my partner about X?’ or ‘Is it normal if Y?’. Maybe spend a little time lurking around those.”

“Maybe I will,” Mom said.

“Maybe start with the sex section of Reddit,” I added.

After that we talked about normal stuff. Aunt Patricia took in a rescue dog. Stuff like that.

I really would love to know what was going on in my mom’s mind. Has she discovered some new kink? Does she not know how to say no to something her boyfriend wants? But as curious as I am, I just can’t see us having that conversation.

Friday June 16

I got an appointment to meet Jennifer Mooney-Taylor today. I said I was a journalist from the University starting a series how the state government works. I figured maybe if I met her I would think of something to ask. I studied up on a couple things going on so I’d sound like a reporter.

Jennifer was totally nice. She was was a professional, and a mom - totally obvious by all the pictures in her office. She was eager to help me with my article. You would never guess that back in college (or was it high school?) she was performing in public blowjob contests.

I asked her about whether she has any big controversial work projects going on. Nope. I asked her if the job gets in the way of time with her kids, and alone time with her husband. (“Sadly, when you have kids, alone time is always hard to come by. But we make it work.”) I just couldn’t see it. Why would Paul have those videos if not to discredit or embarrass her? I couldn’t come up with a reason.

She asked me about school and reporting, too, so I made some stuff up. Honestly I would have loved to stay and talk more, but she clearly had work to get back to.

As I was leaving, she told me, “It was a pleasure speaking with you. It’s nice that people your age are taking an interest in government. Oh, and Lexi? Go dogs.”