Chapter 21

I slept in. I mean, I really slept in. It was after noon when I woke up. When she heard me awake, Mom made lunch and it was really good. She’d made garlic shrimp po boys and I had two of them.

We played cribbage while Mom told me about good times with Victor. I hadn’t heard a lot of good stories about him so it was interesting. I was glad she’d had some good to go with the bad. She told me about Veronica, too. None of it was terribly surprising. Mom was Yin and Veronica was Yang, or something like that. Mom sort of needed a wild friend and Veronica needed some sort of stability.

Late that afternoon, I went for a run. I hadn’t done that in ages and it felt good just to go. I probably ran six or eight miles and when I got home, I went straight to the heavy bag and got in a solid ten rounds. By then, I was wiped out and took a nap. When I woke up, I rode over to the store and picked up a couple of car magazines to see if I could get some insight on what would be good for Kim.

I fell asleep that night and dreamt about sports cars. Little red sports cars.

Monday, Kim and I sat at our table for a little privacy. She wanted to know and I gave her a general idea of why I’d called Melanie. I told her about my call with Sally and how I felt about it and what Mom said. It was kind of a tough conversation but I wanted to be open and honest about it. She seemed to get it. Thankfully, we were able to switch to what Coach Miller had called to talk about. Baseball, typically, got about as many visits from cheerleaders as swimming did. There was football and then all the other sports. Basketball got a nod but the rest, not so much. The bell rang and we stood to leave. I could tell she was still mulling over my conversations earlier.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. I know it’s just how it is but sometimes I feel like I’m still competing with Sally.”

“I totally get it. You’re not. But I get it.”

“What if she moved back tomorrow?”

“She’s not. She’s gone.”

“But what if she did?”

I thought about that for a moment. We were about to be late for our next class. “She’d lose and it would hurt.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. I really hope she hits it off with Rory. I really do.”

“Good. Do you think she’s happy you’re dating me?”

“She says she is. I have to believe her, right?”

“Okay. I guess that’s all I can ask for. I’ve almost asked you not to talk to her any more but I can’t do that.”

“I don’t know how I’d feel if the roles were reversed but I don’t think I’d like it much.”

She thought about it for a minute, smiled and hugged me. “It’s worth it. Lifting today?” I nodded and we went to class as the bell rang. Tardy again.

That afternoon, I showed up for baseball practice. Coach introduced me, even though I knew almost everyone, and we ran around the field a couple of times to warm up. Then we got in two lines and played catch for a while. Then everyone went to their positions on the field and he had one of the juniors hit the ball and they made plays on it. I was standing on the sidelines when Coach Barber came over to me.

“You’ve never played little league?”

“No, sir.”

“No organized baseball of any kind?”

“No sir.”

“So, you have no idea what position you’d like to try?”

“Mr. McTighe, my girlfriend’s dad knows baseball pretty well and he knows Coach Hamilton. He said you should look at me for the outfield.”

“Well, that’s someplace to start. Let’s start you in right and see how you do.”

I ran out to right field and took over. I waited while the ball was hit to shortstop and left field a couple of times, then a fly came my way. I got under it, made the catch but had no idea where to throw it. I hollered, “where” and was told to throw it to the cutoff man, the second baseman. It was an easy throw. That happened a couple of more times and it was pretty easy. Coach hollered at me to throw it home so I did. The catcher made a sweeping motion with the ball like he was tagging someone out. I did that again and he had me switch with the center fielder.

I caught a couple more and threw them home and was feeling pretty good about it when a ball went between left and center. I went for it and so did the left fielder. I heard the left fielder calling me off and I did what I thought was the right thing to do and went behind him in case he missed it. The same thing happened a couple of plays later and it went off the end of his glove. I picked it up and threw it home. It was a pretty long throw but I managed it okay. Coach sent the regular center fielder out and I switched with him and ran in.

I stood on the sidelines while everyone else made plays for a while. Then he let the outfielders play catch while they kept play to the infield.

Coach kept his eyes on the field but motioned me over. “Never any organized baseball?” He’d asked that before.

“No, sir. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Pierce. How did you know to back up Eddy?”

“I didn’t. It just seemed like the thing to do.”

“It was the right thing to do. You seem to track the ball pretty well and made a couple of good throws. Your girlfriend’s dad coach you how to throw like that?”

“Yes sir. Mr. McTighe gave me a couple of tips. He showed me a four-seam grip.”

“Good, good. McTighe. I know that name. Kimberly?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Freshman, right?”

“I am. She’s a sophomore.”

“You sure?”

“I think I’d know if I wasn’t,” I answered. He looked over at me and grinned.

“Well, Pierce, I guess we’re just going to have to teach you how to play baseball. Can you hit as well as you can throw?”

“I’ve been going to the batting cage with my brother and he’s been coaching me. I think I can probably hit better than I can throw.”

“Frankie’s or Ruger’s.”

“Ruger’s.”

“Sixty?”

“Eighty, sir. We started at fifty and worked up.”

“Eighty? That’s varsity stuff. Alright. Let’s find out.”

Coach motioned and they switched drills while someone wheeled a pitching machine out to the mound. Guys lined up and everyone got ten pitches and rotated out. They all seemed to know the order. Most guys were hitting seven or eight out of ten and I wasn’t sure but I think the machine was set on seventy. Coach patted me on the back, I put on a helmet and stepped up.

It was a different machine than I was used to, but I’d been watching it for over a hundred pitches so I knew I could anticipate the timing okay. I went through my mechanics in my head and stepped into the box. The first pitch came and I hit it over the machine and second base. I did it again and then asked Coach where he wanted me to try to hit it.

“Let ‘er rip Pierce. Deep. Hit it deep.”

The next pitch came and I fouled it off. On the next pitch, I got everything right. I mean everything. I put it all into one pitch, opened up my hips and followed through and hit it over the fence. It felt great. The next pitch came and I did it again. This was great. I liked that machine. The next pitch came and I swung late. They’d increased the speed. The next pitch came and I hit it square and sent it to the fence but not over. That’s when I remembered batting gloves. I’d forgotten them and my hands stung. Suck it up, cupcake.

“Pull it,” Coach hollered.

“What does that mean, Coach?”

“Hit it to left field.” I did that a couple of times and then hit it to the opposite field when he asked for that. Thankfully, the next batter was up and I went back over to Coach Barber.

“Sorry I didn’t know what you meant.”

“I think we can work around that. I’ve got a book in my office I want you to read. It will give you a better understanding of the game. I don’t think it will take long to get you up to speed. When we get you back on Thursday, I’d like to try you in the infield, but you’ve got a hell of an arm, Pierce and I think Mr. McTighe is right. Outfield is probably where you’ll wind up.”

“However I can help the team Coach, that’s where I want to be.”

“Not much doubt that you can help the team. Not sure how long I’ll get to keep you, though”

“I don’t understand. I can play the entire season.”

“Pierce, I can teach you how to play baseball but you can already hit and throw. If what you showed me today is any indication, I’m just afraid you’ll be off to varsity before the season’s over. They’re short in the outfield. That’s the goal, though, right? Go ahead and hit the showers. I’ve seen what I need to.” I took off for the locker room and he hollered after me, “You did fine Pierce.”

Sweet.

Kim and I caught a ride to my house and changed. I was out in the gym first and started setting up. Mom came out and did some stretching. She asked about Kim and we waited for her. It took her longer than usual.

She stopped at the door and looked in for a minute, like she was deciding if she wanted to lift or not. I could usually read her face but this was different. Finally, she came in, Mom greeted her and she had missed whatever it was Kim was thinking about. Whatever it was had a bit of a grip on her. She turned to me.

She walked over and gave me a bear hug. That could have been her workout. She really squeezed.

“Don’t move away,” she whispered in my ear. “Don’t you ever move away or I will hunt you down.” I squeezed her back pretty hard. “Okay,” she said, let go of the hug and shook her body. “Let’s lift.” We looked at her for a second. “I’m good. Let’s lift. Really! I’m good.”

While we lifted I told them about my tryout and what Coach said. With swimming, you knew exactly where you stood. The clock didn’t lie. Baseball was different. You did your best and that’s all you could do. Maybe that’s why baseball fans love statistics so much. Swimmers don’t. Not really. You know your best time and you win or you lose. Every race is an opportunity for a new personal best. Every race is a chance to false start or come in last. With baseball, you can do your best and the team can still lose or you can suck one day and they can still win. That’s a pretty good reason not to like baseball. I decided I liked swimming better. It’s kind of weird what you think about when you’re lifting.

Kim was really getting into lifting and she mentioned that she noticed a difference at cheerleader practice. I knew it had helped me for swimming but couldn’t figure out how it would best help me for baseball. I asked Mom and Kim and they didn’t have any idea. Kim said she’d ask her dad and I thought Franklin would know. I figured that an overall stronger body would help and that if I couldn’t think of a specific exercise, maybe there wasn’t one. Running might be better than lifting, I thought. That would suck. I liked lifting better.

When we finished, we declined a ride home for Kim and I walked with her. She seemed really happy and I asked her about it but she didn’t have a reason, or at least she didn’t share one. Back at her house, we went inside and hugged. She felt really good.

She took my left hand and pulled it up and placed it on her tit.

“You have marvelous tits. They’re perfect, but you know that.”

She took my right hand and pushed it down on her butt.

“You have a pretty nice ass, too. I’ve decided I like all of you.”

“Good.” She leaned back a little so we could focus. “Because I want you to have all of me. I’m not holding anything back from you. Understand?” I nodded. “Whenever you’re ready. I know you’re really concerned about the emotional commitment it represents, so I’m not going to be offended if you don’t take advantage of that right away.”

“It’s a big deal to me, so I’m glad you said that.”

“But you should know that it’s a big deal to me, too. Don’t take too long.”

We kissed. I mean we kissed like we meant it. It wouldn’t be that day. Not a Monday afternoon, after a workout, when Mom was expecting me back.

“I’d be an idiot to wait too long. I need to go to the store and get some Trojans. I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

“Jack, I’m on the pill.” My eyes bugged out. “I’ve been on it for two years. I need it because my periods got all weird because of cheerleading.

“You didn’t say...”

“I didn’t want it to factor in.”

“You didn’t tell me on purpose. I love you so much. Hey, did you know my picture is in the dictionary?”

“Do tell.”

“Yeah. I found it today under ‘luckiest guy in the world’.”

“Sometimes, we make our own luck,” she said and we kissed some more. We grabbed each other’s asses and pulled ourselves painfully close. It felt really good but I walked home with a woody that wouldn’t quit.

I could smell dinner the minute I walked in the door and went straight to the kitchen. It was an Indian dish I really liked and that she didn’t make often enough.

“You and Kim okay? Seemed like a little tension there at first.”

“Yeah. Shrimp Masala?” She nodded and scooped a big ladle full over rice and set it in front of me. “I told her about my phone calls last night and she sort of dealt with it.”

“You’re pretty open with her. I’m glad she can handle that. Sometimes, some things might be best left unsaid.”

“Yeah. Maybe. But I think I want her to trust me more than I want it to be easy. Does that even make sense?”

“It makes a lot of sense, probably most of the time. I don’t think I’d make that the automatic policy, though. Just a thought.”

“Okay. I really miss Sally.”

“I know you do and that’s a perfect example. Kim knows how you feel about Sally. You do not need to remind her.”

“I guess that’s true enough. Kim’s pretty nice. I don’t want to take her for granted.”

“Or rub her nose in the fact that you had a girlfriend that you still miss.”

“I’m too young to get my heart all messed up like this. I’m complaining to the manufacturer.”

“Ah. My fault, huh?”

“That’s right. There’s a defect in the workmanship.”

She reached over and picked up a big knife. “Perhaps a recall is in order.”

“I think I can live with the product as is. What kind of car do you think Kim should get?”

“I can’t tell you that but I know what I think she’ll end up with.”

“What?”

“I think maybe I’ll write it down and see if I’m right. That way I won’t influence her decision.”

“She might want your influence.”

“Then, she can ask for it. Were her parents home?” I shook my head. “Are you keeping your hands off the merchandise?”

“Mom.”

“Seems a fair question after the other night.”

“I was asleep.”

“And Kim wasn’t bothered in the least, almost as if that were normal. Why do you think that is?”

“She’s a very caring and forgiving person.”

“Uh huh. Perhaps a recall is in order.”

“Speaking of baseball, what position do you think I should play?”

“Nice try, Sport. Keep your roaming hands in check and maybe your poor little heart won’t have such big kid problems.”

“I’m tall for my age.”

“That’s not all. And that’s what troubles me. Veronica called. We talked and she wanted to know if we were okay - her and me. I told her we were. Are you and Veronica okay?”

“Probably, but that’s kind of up to her.”

“Part of that is my fault. I forgot I was going to spend time with Veronica and she made herself at home.”

“Yeah. I can see how you forgetting she was coming over could lead to her trying to seduce me.”

“She really did, didn’t she?”

“Yeah. It’s like she saw The Graduate one too many times or something.” We didn’t say anything for a few moments. “She’s pretty hot, you know, for someone of her advanced years.”

“Advanced years? She’s younger than me! Advanced years, my ass. Advanced years.”

“Still, she’s pretty hot.”

“Tempted you, huh?”

“I’m not going to lie, yeah.”

“But you didn’t and now that’s past, right?”

“Yeah. That’s past. She’s not going to do that again, right?” Mom shook her head.

I washed the dishes, did some homework and hit the sack.

Tuesday and Wednesday, I swam with Birch and Claire. I encouraged them as best I could, knowing I wouldn’t be with them at State. They didn’t really need me but I enjoyed the time swimming without pressure. Kim and I seemed to have reached a new, or at least different level of understanding and I thought it was good. On Thursday morning, Coach Miller ducked into home room to tell me I was off the hook. “Good season, now go play baseball and come back healthy. You know the pool hours. Anytime you want,” he said and I nodded and thanked him. I liked Coach Miller a lot.

At lunch I told Kim and the rest of the squad that my season was over and that I’d be playing baseball. Spot wondered if baseball players were as hot as swimmers and Kim answered that her’s was. They got a little raunchy and I covered my ears and they all had a laugh at my expense.

That afternoon, at practice, we had a short meeting first. Coach Barber reminded us that our job was not to win games but to prepare to play varsity baseball. Winning is good, but that we should treat our games as pre-season scrimmages. The more we developed, the faster we’d move to varsity and the more we could help the team.

He took questions and I asked, “When is our first meet?” I thought it was a legitimate question.

That got a moment of silence and then a serious round of laughter and Coach said, “Our first meet is just over a month away.” It slowly dawned on me that I’d said meet instead of game.

From then on, the Porter-Gaud JV baseball team didn’t play games. We had meets. That, and the Aquaman nickname had escaped the pool and that was me. I didn’t mind.

I got to try a bunch of different positions and Coach even let me try to pitch. I sucked. He tried to show me a couple of different ways to grip the ball and concluded I wasn’t cut out to be a pitcher. When I was leaving the mound, he told me that it was just as well. The pitching motion would probably make it difficult for me to both pitch and swim. If he’d told me that first, I wouldn’t have tried pitching but at least I knew. Batting practice that day was different. It was pitching practice too. The pitcher threw from behind a partial screen that protected him from balls being hit back at him. It made it better for us, too, since we didn’t have to worry about hitting him.

I did pretty well hitting off a pitcher but learned there were pitches I needed to let go by. I had to learn the strike zone. Coach put on a chest protector and called balls and strikes for me on my second time to the plate. It was really helpful.

On the way back in, I asked Coach why he hadn’t tried me at catcher.

“You’ve got a million questions, don’t you Aquaman? That’s a good thing, I guess and I don’t mind answering them. You should know as much as possible before our first meet. I don’t want you at catcher.”

“I don’t think I’d want to be a catcher either Coach but why not?” I had no idea.

“Pierce, the catcher is the defensive coordinator and it takes someone who really knows the game. You could probably do it, mechanically, but you don’t have an understanding of the game yet. Smitty knows the game, and he knows our pitchers, at least he knows the returning pitchers. He calls the pitch and location based on the ability of the pitcher, the vulnerability of the batter and the game situation. He moves the fielders around as necessary and when the pitcher is having a difficult time, he talks to him on the mound. He milks the pitcher for everything he’s got and when it’s time to make a switch, I rely on my catcher to give me an honest assessment.”

“Dang. I had no idea. That’s a lot. I didn’t really want to be a catcher, anyway.”

“Tough position. If you caught, I would imagine you could learn it pretty quickly and that you could throw runners out at second maybe better than Smitty. Speaking of which, tomorrow, we’re going to work on getting the ball out of your glove faster. The faster you can get the ball out of your glove, the better chance you have to getting the ball where it needs to be to stop a run or a player from advancing. Tomorrow, Pierce. Go home, get a good night’s rest and come back with more questions. I’m having fun.” I thanked him, showered, changed and caught a ride home with the squad.

We had a good pull workout and Mom and Kim evaluated their back progress in the mirror. Mom told Kim her random biker chick story. I’d already heard it but Kim liked it.

I watched as they pulled their tops up in back, flexed and looked at their backs in the mirror. Mom wasn’t just gaining muscle, she was losing weight and looking good. So was Kim. I told them so and they flexed for me. We finished working out and I was going to walk Kim home when I got an idea.

“Why don’t you borrow Mom’s bike and we can ride to your house. Quick trip,” I said.

She looked at me like I was offering her snails to eat or something. Finally, she said, “I don’t know how.”

“You don’t know how to what?”

“I don’t know how to ride a bike.”

“Sweetheart, you’re kidding right?” Mom asked. “Because it’s okay. I hardly ride it anymore.”

“No. Not kidding. I just never learned. What can I say?”

“You’re going to learn to drive before you learn to ride a bike? That’s crazy,” I said.

“Too late. I’m crazy. I know how to drive. I’ve had my permit for months. I want to go car shopping this weekend so I can practice with my car before I get my license.”

“You still should learn how to ride a bike,” I thought out loud.

“I guess. How hard could it be?”

I grabbed the bike and started walking it over to the lawn we never used. I gave her some simple instructions and told her we’d start on the grass in case she fell. She insisted she wasn’t going to fall. Thankfully, Kim didn’t notice when Mom ducked inside and came back out with the camcorder. I knew that when a little kid learned how, his dad would run along behind him. I guessed it would work with an adult, or teen, too.

She pushed off and almost fell over while I told her to start pedaling. I ran along beside her and she started to get it. Wobbly, but she started to get it. She came to the end of the lawn and I told her to backpedal to stop the bike and she did, forgot to put her feet down and started to fall over. I hollered at her again and she put a foot down and caught herself, laughing. We turned it around and she made it back to the other side. When we stopped, I told her she needed to watch where she was going instead of watching the front wheel. Eyes on the road.

She started again and began to pick up speed. I saw that she was headed for the road and didn’t think much of it for about a second. I ran to catch up and hollered for her to turn. That didn’t work so I hollered for her to stop but she was going pretty well ... right off the grass and down the driveway. I ran to her, looked at the street and saw a car coming. She didn’t. I hollered at her to stop again but it wasn’t going to happen. I ran out into the street waving my arms like a crazy man. The driver honked, slowed and then stopped and Kim rode right in front of him, across the street and into a curb where she came to a sudden stop. I apologized to the driver and went to collect Kim.

“What happened?”

“You’re doing fine. You have a lot of the mechanics down okay. Your balance is good but you need to look up and see where you’re going. You almost got hit by a car. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Embarrassed.”

“That’s okay. Want to try again?” She nodded and I pointed her back toward the house and driveway. I worked with her in the lawn again until she could ride without looking at the front wheel, turn when she needed to and stop without falling over.

When I was convinced she could manage it okay, we rode to her house. I looked over my shoulder to see Mom shaking her head as she walked back inside, camcorder in hand. We made the trip without any problems and very little instruction from me.

“That was awesome. So much faster than walking.”

“Good. We open up the whole new world of biking a couple of days before you get your first car.”

“You know what? You taught me to ride. And lift. And I taught you to ride a horse and sail.”

“I think I got the better bargain, there.”

“But the point is, we can teach each other. We do good.”

“I guess that’s true enough. What else do you want to learn?”

“Can you teach me to be a better swimmer? And I can teach you how to hunt when the season starts again.”

“That’s a deal.” We talked some more, kissed a little and I pedaled back, holding Mom’s bike as I rode, keeping it on track next to me. She’d need to ride from our house to hers again.

After dinner I went to the guest room and called Franklin. I told him I had a lot to talk about and he told me to go ahead. I told him that I’d been to third base and that it was pretty intense. I told him that his thoughts on going all the way still made sense. I continued right up until the point that Kim said “Don’t wait too long.” I tied that back to the girls give sex to get love and said I was concerned that this was Kim’s way of ensuring my ties with Sally were truly cut. Maybe she wanted to go all the way or maybe she just wanted that assurance. What should I do?

“That has got to be tough for you. Not a lot of guys wouldn’t just do it, you know. She is ridiculously attractive and she said that. I don’t know. How long do you think too long is, for Kim?”

“No clue. It’s a big deal for me but it has to be a big deal for her, too.”

“Does she seem insecure?”

“No. She did and I did but we talked through it, I think. Except for that one area, Sally.”

“What would happen if you put the two of them on the phone together?”

“They talked once before but I don’t know. I think it might be okay. Maybe? I don’t know. Who can know the mind of a woman?”

“No kidding. Who said that?” he asked.

“I did. I wish I could ask Mom but that’s a non-starter.”

“Do you want me to run it by Karen? She knows you both and she knows Sally.”

“Okay, but totally private, right? I mean, I know that but this would be terrible.”

“No. We both get it. You want to do right by Kim. I’ll bet if she heard this conversation she might think differently.”

“Okay. Before I hang up, I haven’t gone all the way with anyone, yet, including Veronica. Boy did she press. Anyway, when Sally left, it hurt. I still hurt over that. How much worse would it be if we had gone all the way? I can’t imagine. I’m not sure how convincing that argument even is.”

“Short trip from third to home, huh?” I’ll call you back.

I waited for an hour before Karen called. I grabbed the phone before the first ring finished, not wanting Mom to know I was on the guestroom phone.

“Ask her. Ask her straight up if that’s why. Then ask her if there’s any other way you could convince her. Tell her that you don’t want her to give you something so precious for anything other than that she loves you and wants to share that intimacy with you. If you’re willing, I’d make sure of her motive. That’s it. I don’t have anything mind-blowing to tell you other than you’re right to think it’s a big deal. You know, there is one other thing. You might run this by her, tell her that you and Sally didn’t. But what if you had? And what if your experience with Sally was so good, she could never compete with that memory? And what if you two don’t last? What if you two have sex and it’s so good that no one could ever compete with that in the future? It’s probably pretty hard to see that far down the road but it might open her eyes to a different possibility. Bottom line, Aquaman, is that it’s up to you.”

“You’re on board with the Aquaman thing too, huh? Okay. Oh, before I go, are you two going to help Kim car shop on Saturday? Tell Franklin I want to learn how to shop for cars.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem. You have to tell us how Birch and Claire do at state, too.”

I agreed and we hung up. Great. Lots of talk and it’s up to me. I started thinking about it and the idea of going all the way with Kim became more and more attractive, if that were even possible. I’d given her the first orgasm after all. Who better? I didn’t want anyone else too, that was for sure. Should I let her talk to Sally? What would they say? The more I thought about that, the worse it sounded. Kim might feel better about it but the possibility that Sally would end the conversation feeling like shit was pretty real. If I’d simply given in and fucked Veronica, none of this would matter. I thought that having sex with Veronica would be pretty crazy. I bet she knows all kinds of things, I thought for the tenth time. And I knew for a fact that she would have been enthusiastic. She probably would have fucked me and sucked me until I had no sperm left in my body. That’s what older women do, I thought. Man, was this complicated.

And then I thought that I needed to do it for me to turn a page and get past Sally. That made perfect sense. Kim wanted me to. I was holding back because I was worried about the emotional commitment but the truth was, I wanted to commit emotionally to Kim. Therefore, I should make love to Kim. That sounded perfectly logical and reasonable for about thirty minutes. Then I thought that if Sally entered into the decision in any way, at least some of it would be about Sally. I wanted to make love to Kim but with it being just about Kim and me. Not Kim and me and Sally. Or even Kim and me and not Sally. Somehow, I needed to get past Sally completely before I could really, truly make love to Kim for all the right reasons. And that was at the heart of the matter. Kim already knew that.