Week 6 / Friday

Larissa made it home from her final lecture not long after five. She found the whole project team on the deck waiting for her, squeezed around their table. She hugged Julian and then sat on his lap and said hello to the rest of them. Marty and Tui were on zoom, cool.

“Ok,” Chez said, “Welcome Larissa to our last meeting for the week, and Larissa, we were waiting for you. The floor is all yours.”

“Great, thanks. How’s everyone feeling after this week?”

Everyone was feeling great, she could see. Very positive, and excited for the release of the video tonight.

“OK. So Layna wanted me to tell you about last night. I said to her right at the end that I wished everyone knows just what she did last night, how amazing it was. And she told me that the only people who matter are you guys, her team. Because this sort of stuff will keep happening, and this is how Layna wants to go about it.”

She told them what happened. When she finished, she said, “I want you to know that that Peter Nutter fellow is a right prick. I nearly lost it at him several times. But Layna says that we have to get used to dealing with people like that, and what she did was put his family back together in a very loving way, while totally painting him into the corner. Layna gave me a master class in relationships last night. Layna, you’re awesome!”

Strong agreement from the team for that.

“Thanks Larissa. Like I said the other day, doing what we do is only possible because all of you are so amazing. And we’ll always go about our business the same way: getting the message right, as good as we can, and being nice to everyone, and building the best relationships we can. Other people can go low, but we’ll stay high. And if we do, we’ll win this. I talked to our sponsors earlier today, and they believe that this week, we’re making a real difference to the national discussion about climate change. So well done team and hold the course. And enjoy tonight!”

The team gave Layna three cheers.

Then they talked through the evening, checking all the plans, and Larissa gave them all a heads up about Toni. Classic Larissa, she could see them all thinking. They were just about to finish their meeting when Nathan said, “Peter Nutter just released a column! I’ll put a link on chat.”

Julian brought the column up on his phone, and they read it together. It was entitled, “Climate Change Activism might be sexy, but it can’t be ignored.”

It started with a picture taken from one of their videos, Layna talking to the Victorian Minister of Energy. Peter wrote that earlier in the week, he’d published an opinion piece critical of Layna and her project, and quickly rehashed his arguments. But he’d received very strong feedback on this subject, in particular from his children. Anyone who followed him on twitter – begging for twitter followers – would know about his children’s opinion. His children had gone to Layna, offering to say what they thought on her next video. In a totally surprising move, Layna had instead focused on healing the rift in his family, and he was in her debt for that. And when he met with Layna and Larissa (reference to videos of Lacey and Harry), he’d realised that he’d totally underestimated both of them, and he’d gone back and looked at more of Layna’s work, and he could say that the content was very solid indeed, thoroughly backed by a leading university, and that he’d had to reconsider his position. Reasonable people could debate what to do about climate change, and many policy recommendations people made were dangerous, but there really was no question that Australia had to do something. As such, it was inappropriate to criticise her sponsors the way he had, and they should be thanked for their wisdom in backing Layna. If his readers wanted to know more, they could do worse than watch Layna’s videos, and he hoped that everyone in Australia would emulate Layna’s approach to building relationships, and being considerate to and helping everyone, because that was the true basis for a civil society.

Well, amazing. That was an enormous climb-down and apology. Larissa shook her head in amazement, and she didn’t know what to say. The team obviously felt the same, and she could hear gentle murmurings. Then Julian said, “Layna, you were right. You had to work us around on Monday to agree not to go for his throat, but this outcome totally validates your approach. It’s amazing, I’ve got chills down my back. Hell, you want to interview Scott Morrison next week?”

Layna smiled at him. “Yes to all that, except maybe not the prime minister; I’d really want to know why before doing that. But keep in mind that we only got this because of Jackson and Cass; if they hadn’t done what they’d done, he’d be coming at us on Monday all guns blazing. But we’d still do what we’re doing, because we’re here to fight and win the long game. Everyone understand?” They nodded and smiled. The long game was what they were here for now. “OK. I hope you all have a great time tonight. Marty and Tui, you’re welcome to stay on Zoom and watch; we’ll leave it open.” Marty and Tui gave them a thumbs up; they had two cameras on the balcony, one pointing in and one pointing out.

“Are Jackson and Cass coming tonight?” Suzy asked.

“I’m not sure. I invited them, but Peter has to agree, and he’s already got a lot of egg on this face. So they haven’t said yet.”

People started to arrive soon after, and the team welcomed them. It was a pleasant evening – not hot, but good enough to swim and not windy, so lots of people swam in the water. When Hannah arrived, she got a big cheer. “Do you want to go for a swim?” Larissa asked her.

“I sure do!” she said. “I loved it.”

“How do you want to do it?”

“Tonight, Nick is going to help me walk across the sand.” Larissa smiled at her. Tonight, she wanted everyone to know – great.

“Lovely. I’ll join you when I get a chance!”

A few minutes later, Kat and Sal arrived with family. Larissa went and welcomed all of them, hugs and kisses. Screw Covid. Toni was last, at the back of the line holding hands tightly with Zara. Larissa guided Toni up to her room and pointed to her bed for what Toni was to wear: pretty cotton panties and bra and long pyjamas with pink daisies on them. Toni smiled sadly and changed quickly. “Actually, I quite like them. OK, I’m ready.” she said.

“Alright, Toni. I’ll tie you up in a sec. But before I do, I want to warn you. Firstly, you are going to be tied to the balcony, where everyone can see you. If anyone asks you why this is happening, you must say ‘I am being disciplined because I had a very bad alcohol binge, and I agreed to this.’” Toni nodded. “You can say anything else you want, or nothing. If they ask you if you’re OK, and you’re not, you can tell them that and ask them to tell me.” Toni nodded again. Larissa kissed her gently. “Toni, I love you very much, and I want you to have a good life. So what is going to happen to you tonight will be the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced. But this is your discipline, as creative as I can be, so I want you to accept it all, quietly and politely.”

“What’s going to happen to me?” Toni asked in alarm.

“Toni, a few friends of mine are going to come and talk to you, that’s all. One of Zara, Michelle or I will check on you regularly to see that you’re OK.” Toni’s eyes widened in surprise. “And anything they tell you is confidential. You can talk to me about it, but never anyone else, OK?” Toni agreed to that.

She led Toni to the toilet, and then out to the balcony, where she tied Toni’s wrist to the balcony with a silk tie. “Ok. If you get uncomfortable, or you need to wee, let one of us know.” Toni sat on the seat Larissa had there for her.

Then she went and talked to Michelle and Zara, who were holding each other tight for reassurance as they watched this. “OK. What’s going to happen tonight is that a few friends of mine are going to talk to Toni. I’d like you to keep an eye on her, and check with her occasionally that she’s OK and if she’s ever alone, ask one of these people to go talk to her.” She gave them a list. “They all know about it.”

She went and found Dylan and Callum, and they agreed they were free – everything was ready to go. She led them to Toni and introduced them. “Toni, you’re not the first impossibly sexy sixteen year old with an alcohol problem I’ve ever met. Dylan and Callum got tangled with two late last year, and they’re going to tell you about them. Thanks guys.” Might as well start Toni off with a bang.

Then she went back downstairs and started welcoming people to the party. It was going to be a big one too, there were lots of people she didn’t recognise. When she had a break, she ran across the beach and dived into the water and hugged Hannah. “How did you go with the beach?” she asked.

“Nick helped me, and I walked all the way!” Larissa smiled at Nick: what a good guy.

But there were more people coming, so she hopped out, dried herself off, and went back to greeting people. Bob and Mary and her mum arrived and she held them all tight. “Thanks so much for coming, we’re really lucky that you’re here, and I hope that you really enjoy tonight!”

Bob grinned. “Oh, I’m really going to. Layna told me what’s coming, it’s going to be awesome!”

“And have you had a good week?”

Bob grinned and glanced at Mary. “I’ve had a really good week. Awesome. How was yours, Love?”

Mary gave Larissa an intense look. “You’re unbelievable. My own daughter did that to me?”

Larissa grinned. “Well, was it good for you?”

Mary frowned, and then Larissa laughed because her mum was giving a huge thumbs up right behind Mary, and she had a big grin on her face. Mary’s face relaxed and she said, “I see I can’t lie on this one. Yes. Rachelle got me across the line, and yes, I enjoyed it. OK, a lot.”

“Great. I’m glad you did, and I promise not to do it again. At least, not this week.” Bob and her mum burst into laughter, and Larissa smiled at Mary. Mary understood; she wouldn’t do it very often, but she’d do it again as a surprise.

“Actually, Mum, can you come with me now?” she said, because she’d just seen Dylan and Callum hugging Toni and getting ready to leave.

She hugged Toni and said, “Toni, you remember my mum, Rachelle?”

Toni smiled at her and said, “Nice to see you again.”

Her mum kissed Toni again. “Lovely to see you, dear.”

“So my mum is going to tell you her story, Toni. My mum is the bravest person I know.” She kissed Toni and left her to it. Now she could go back and talk to all her friends that had arrived. Ruby and Chelsea and their guys. All her family, and she got to hold Rachel briefly. Maria and Aaden and their flatmates. Suzy’s family. Dylan and Callum’s girls arrived – they did nearly everything together anyway. Chez’s guy Jon arrived.

Chez pulled her aside. “That girl up on the balcony, what’s her name again?” Toni. “You said Toni’s being disciplined for an alcohol binge, right?” Right. “It must have been bad, then.”

“Yep, she went way downhill real quick.”

“I saw Callum and Dylan talking to her, what was that about?”

“I asked them to tell her about the sex kittens, and all the alcohol and drugs that got them to that place.”

“Yes, I thought so. You want Jon to talk to her?” Larissa looked Chez and surprise, and then at Jon. “Jon’s family was torn apart by alcohol too.”

“Sure. Though the deal is that she’s allowed to tell me anything Jon tells her, so she can talk it over if she needs to. No one else, though. It’ll be confidential to us.” Jon said he was happy with that. “OK. See those two over there.” She pointed Zara and Michelle out. “That’s her sisters, they’re looking after her. Introduce Jon to them and tell them he’s on the list too. And thanks.”

Then Ana and Brianna turned up with Phil and Scott. She went over and hugged them all. For sure if Covid was around, Larissa was going to be the super-spreader tonight. “How are you feeling?”

“Yeah, good, actually,” Brianna said. “Though I’ll be better once talking to Toni is over.”

“Well, shall we do that now?” Sure. “Are you guys in?”

Phil and Scott shook their heads. “We’re really sorry, and we really screwed up,” Scott said, “and we should apologise to her, not the other way around, but we think she’s better off just talking to the girls.”

“Maybe you can find some time with her later and apologise to her. That’ll be a surprise for her for sure – she thinks she needs to apologise to everyone else.”

Ana and Brianna followed her upstairs, and they could see Toni still talking to her mum. Toni was crying, which she’d be doing a lot of tonight. Larissa grabbed a mineral water for her, and Brianna said, “You know, looking at her now, I just feel sorry for her. She’s really just a kid. What happened to her hair?”

“Well, she is just a kid, but she got into very adult trouble. Her sisters decided that she forfeited her hair and cut it off.”

“Woooah,” Ana said. “That’s very serious indeed. She really earnt that?”

Larissa nodded solemnly. “She thinks she did. And she might choose to tell you how.”

Her mum was finishing up. One last hug for Toni, and she stood up – she’d been crying herself.

“Thanks mum, I really appreciate it.”

Her mum smiled, and said, “I hope it helps her.”

She sat down on the ground in front of Toni, and said, “How are you doing, Toni?”

Toni took a while to answer, and then said, “You were right about painful. There’s going to be more, right?”

“Yes, Toni. Tonight I’m going to hammer at you, story after story, and every one of them will hurt. Are you going to be OK?”

Toni took a deep breath. “This is my discipline, and so I will be OK, and listen to it all.”

Larissa kissed her. “Good. Well, here’s Brianna and Ana.” She beckoned them over, and they sat on the two seats next to Toni.

“Hello Toni,” they both said.

“Hello, Brianna and Ana.” Toni took a breath. “Brianna, and Ana, I’m sorry. You invited me home to your place, and instead of being considerate of you, and appreciating you, I got drunk and did your guys behind your back. Unsafe too, because that’s what I do when I’m drunk. And then you had your screaming argument. What I did was awful, and there’s no excuse, and I promise you that I’ll never do anything like that again, although I know that won’t make up for it.”

“Thank you for apologising,” Brianna said. “What happened was certainly not right, though really, we shouldn’t have taken you home like that. We’re sorry for that.”

“Oh, I would’ve found someone else. Larissa says I was safe with you, and I could’ve done a lot worse.”

“We were going to say some things to you,” Ana said, “but we looked at you tonight, and we can see that you’re just a young kid who really feels sorry and regretful for what you’ve done.”

Toni nodded sombrely. “I certainly do. I did much worse than that too. How do you think I got that bottle of gin I left in your garden? Stupid me.”

“We can guess,” Brianna said, “so don’t tell us. And we understand that bit, you know. Our house is dry, no alcohol. I guess you looked for some, right?” Toni nodded. “Because we’ve had our own problems with it in the past. So we’ve made the Larissa pledge.” Toni wasn’t sure that that meant.

Ana grinned. “The Larissa pledge is choosing no alcohol and drowning in sex instead.”

Toni smiled for that. “Oh, I’m on board with that one. I made that same promise to Larissa last week.”

Brianna sighed. “We thought that would solve all our problems, but it turns out that we still have to get all the relationships right. Who could’ve known? Anyway, Toni, we want you to know that now our relationships are much better than they were, both with our guys and between each other. And we really did enjoy making love with you before it all went wrong. You’re always going to be our first and only girl, so we wish you all the best. Stay strong and hold to the Larissa pledge.”

“I promise. Thank you.”

When Brianna and Ana had left, Larissa gave her the drink and said, “OK. You have a long night in front of you. When it’s time for the video, I’ll untie you, and you’ll cuddle up with Zara and Michelle to watch it.”

She walked downstairs and saw Brianna and Ana talking to Michelle and Zara. She pointed at Toni, so they knew she was alone, and walked out onto the beach to find Julian. She needed a hug after that. Instead, she got one from Isabella and Ella, who held her tight. “Thanks for inviting us here tonight!” Isabella said, “This is great, much better than our other parties.”

She smiled and said, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Larissa, that girl tied to the balcony,” Ella said, “Toni? That’s the one you told me about, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Ella, I did, but please don’t spread the story. I didn’t know you’d meet her like this.”

“I know not to say anything. Her family must be really angry.”

“They’re not angry at all. They’re sad, and concerned, and they love her very much. Her sisters cut her hair off, and they cried more than she did while they did it.” She looked up at them. Zara and Michelle were hugging her and introducing her to Thomas. “Thomas is talking to her now.”

“She’s talking to people?”

“Yes, all night, one after another, people who are here at the party who’ve had their own disasters with alcohol will open their heart to her and she has no choice but to listen. She understands that it will be the most painful night of her life. Her sisters asked me to discipline her for the alcohol binge, and this is what I decided she’s getting.”

“Wow. Just wow,” Isabella said. “Now I think you were very gentle with me.”

Larissa grinned. “Well, Isabella, as your mistress, I will treat you much more harshly if you have ever have a problem with alcohol. You could consider what Toni just called the Larissa pledge.”

“What’s that?”

“Choosing to never have alcohol or drugs, and to drown in sex instead.”

Isabella laughed, and then stopped and said, “That is what you do isn’t it?”

“Yep. That’s me. Ella, how did you go with your family this week?”

“Good. I felt just so good after Sunday, so loved by Isabella, that I felt strong and I had lunch with my brother’s woman the next day. We had a lovely lunch and a long heart to heart, covid and other things, and then I did that with my brother, and they agreed to have a picnic in mum’s favourite park this evening. Maybe a first step in a long process, because they hurt each other a lot, but maybe. So that’s great. But my Dad ... that’ll take longer, I think. And maybe you’re right about alcohol, because that’s part of his problem. We’ll see.”

“That’s great, and lovely you felt so loved by Isabella.”

“I really enjoyed massaging Ella, and I’ve felt a lot closer to her since then. You saw, I could hardly stop cuddling with her on Sunday night. Anytime you want me to massage someone, just tell me.”

“Well, you know, why don’t you go to Michelle and Zara and tell them you’ll give Toni a neck and shoulders massage whenever they say, and that you’re not allowed to talk to her when you do. I don’t mind you talking to her, but it just gives her a break.”

“I’d love to do that,” Isabella said.

At this point, Callum’s girlfriend tapped her on the shoulder. “Larissa, Layna wants you in the water.”

Larissa went down to the water and found that Hannah wanted a repeat of the walk back across the beach while it was still light. Layna and Larissa helped Hannah up, and slowly, they helped her walk up the beach. So close, their faces touching just like the other time. “I could get addicted to this, you know,” Hannah said. “I’m even happy that us doing this was in the news.”

“We’re always happy to do this,” Layna replied. “What did your parents say about the photo?”

“Oh, they loved the photo because they knew straight away just how much I’d love that. But they hated Peter Nutter for what he said. It’s hard for them, you know. They love me so much, and I was a really active girl, and then bang! I couldn’t walk anymore, and I’ll be on all these drugs all my life. So their hearts are on the line.”

They rested for Hannah at the crest of the beach on the high tide line. “Tell me about that girl tied to the balcony, Larissa.”

Larissa did. Hannah thought and said, “I think that her family loves her as much as mine loves me. It’s weird, you know, I’ve never even tasted any alcohol, never will, because of the lupus. Oh, I could, but we decided: I have enough life issues going on without adding that to the picture. And Nick has given up too, to support me.”

Larissa looked ahead of them, Nick and Julian waiting for them at the edge of the sand, their arms around each other. “That’s lovely. Nick’s a really good guy.”

When they got to the edge of the sand, Nick took Hannah from them. She turned around in his arms, and said, “Layna and Larissa, you’re awesome friends. Thanks so much. But you know what? I really liked how you got me into the water that first time. That was such a lot of fun!”

Suddenly, Larissa was grabbed from behind. What followed was easy and natural. She screamed, “Julian! No! What are you doing?” She struggled and kicked her legs. “Let go, put me down!” Julian laughed, an evil laugh, and managed to get his arm across her face. “Mmmph,” as loud as she could, and then she wiggled and struggled till she got free. “Someone help! Save me from my husband! Layna!” But then she heard Layna making the same noises – Joe had her. “Monsters! No one loves us! I don’t want to get wet! It’ll ruin my bikini!” All she could hear was laughter. “All this is Hannah’s fault!” And then Julian threw her into the air and she let rip with the biggest scream she could manage before she hit the water.

She came up to see Layna get dumped in the water, also making a lot of noise. She could see lots of shocked faces in the crowd, so she burst into laughter and kissed Julian. “I hope you all enjoyed that, particularly Hannah.” She waved at Hannah and heard Hannah call out, “Loved it, thanks!” Then she hugged Layna and they walked back up to Hannah together. And she put it to Layna, yes? And Layna said yes. So a minute later, Ruby, Chelsea, Asha, Layna, and Larissa all grabbed Julian as he was about to pick up Hannah to take her upstairs, and picked him up instead. “Out of the way, he’s going in,” Larissa called out as loud as she could.

Julian struggled a little. Oh, he could break free if he really wanted, but he didn’t. Instead, he cried out, “What? No, I don’t want to get wet. No. Someone, save me from these cruel girls. Help!” “Save me! I’m scared of girls! Help me! I’m scared of these girls!” And then, right in the water, “NO! Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Larissa called out, “I love you!” And then, as they dumped him in the water, she pantsed him, leaving him in just his jocks, shorts around his ankles. She stood at the edge of the water, pumped her arms for the crowd, and yelled out in triumph. Julian emerged from the water behind her, shorts back up, so she squealed and ran up the beach, while Julian chased her, howling in anger. When she arrived in front of Hannah, she stopped, and Julian wrapped her up in a big hug. She laughed and turned and kissed him.

“There, Hannah. Just for you.”

“That was great! So good, thanks so much.”

Larissa followed Nick and Julian upstairs. She grabbed a plate of food off the table from the project dinner and sat on the corner of the deck, trying to count the party. She gave up at over a hundred, and there were plenty more. “Hi Sister,” Steph said.

Larissa hugged her and Rachel tight. “How’s my favourite sister?”

“I’m having a great time. Getting involved with the project is the fourth greatest thing of my life.”

“Fourth?”

“Yes. Xander, Rachel, Larissa, the project.”

Larissa laughed at her. “You’re a goof, Steph. I’m really looking forward to becoming fourth.” Steph looked at her in confusion, so she said, “Because you’re pregnant, duh! By the way, how did you go telling Xander’s mum and Amelia?”

“Good actually. Really nice. She’s still coming around Thursday for lunch and spending the afternoon, and then Amelia and Ross come after Uni, and his dad joins us for dinner. Anyway, Amelia turned up before Ross, so I told them together. They’re very excited, of course, thrilled. Mum wanted to know about the birth, so I said I loved the last time, and we’re doing it the same, and that if she’s OK with it, she can be part of it. So we had a long talk about exactly what that meant, and she’s ... thinking about that. I think she’ll be in, she just has to adjust her thinking.”

“And Amelia?”

“Umm. Yes. Amelia’s more than excited. As beside herself as you were, and we did the same dance thing, and then she cried and cried, and wouldn’t let go of me. It was lovely. But.” Larissa looked at her, but what? “After a little while I asked her, was she thinking about it too, and she said that she was. She’d really like to have hers at the same time as her sister, and wouldn’t this be the best time?” Wow, Larissa thought. “So we had a long and lovely talk about it, the three of us. All of us thought that would be emotionally lovely, and I was really pleased that mum could just say that, but the more we talked about, the more it was clear that it’s not really a good idea. One the one hand, she’s living at home, and mum would just love that part, and Ross and her are pretty damn committed. But she’s last year of uni, they’ve got no money, she’s never talked to Ross about it, and Ross does want to travel before settling down, and she would like to. She was going to talk to Ross about it, and I haven’t heard anything more. So maybe she’ll wait and do it when you do it; that’s a more rational timeline. I don’t know what you think about that. But Asha’s thinking that kind of timeline too.”

That did sound awesome, a little group of sisters, doing it together, sharing the experience. Hell, Jane could be in that too, from what she’d said when they were talking on their lounge last week. “Sounds great to me! I’ll talk to her about it. And maybe you’ll do it again with us?” Could happen, Larissa could see. “Anyway, how did you go with your task this week?”

Steph grinned at her. “I did it three times! The only three times he left home without me. But I ‘lord and mastered’ him all week. At first he just laughed, and I had to blow him two other times, but then he just took to rolling his eyes and asking me what housework he had to do.”

“So you did it Thursday afternoon too?”

Steph grinned at her. “Sure thing. Mum and Amelia watched. Mum was a bit taken aback, but Amelia got right into and gave me points out of ten for performance, facial expressions, and obedience, and then she did the same for Ross when he arrived, except that we gave her a handicap, hands tied behind her back.”

“Bet she loved that!”

“Sure did. And I could see that mum was thinking about it doing it for Dad, but no, she couldn’t quite let herself go. So we’ll see.”

Larissa grinned. More love running free, and they really were all getting on much better now. “By the way, I heard about the party at the factory.”

“Yes, that was lovely and such fun. Xander was really lucky – everything just worked out for him.”

“I heard he might have made lots of good decisions.”

“Well, he might have done, but he’s my husband so I couldn’t possibly agree.”

“Well, one was wrong, that he refused to bang you while he was on zoom.” Steph laughed. “He’s here tonight, right?” Sure. “Great. Where?” Steph pointed him out, talking to James and Sophie. “Great. I’ll be back.”

She went and fetched Xander and dragged him over to Bob, who was talking to the dean of science. They stopped when Larissa walked up, and the dean said, “Hey, hello, my favourite animal science student ever!”

Larissa smiled at him and said, “Hello my favourite Dean of Science ever! Almost as favourite as the dean of animal medicine!” Then she turned to Bob and said, “Bob, I know you know Xander, but I figured I should get you talking.”

“Yes, Xander, we do need to talk. I heard all about your factory.”

Larissa turned away, and then the Dean said, “Hey, Larissa?” Yes? “That girl on the balcony?”

Larissa sighed. It was hard to escape that subject but she supposed it was inevitable. “Yes, she’s a friend of mine.”

The dean nodded. “I’m going to guess that she’s in trouble for drinking, and a bunch of her friends are telling her why she shouldn’t drink.”

Larissa looked at him in surprise. “Umm, yes, how did you guess?”

“Because once, that was me, and I recognise the pattern – very effective, too. You want to me to talk to her as well?”

Larissa thought about that. “People are just telling her their personal stories, not lecturing her. And my rule for her is that anything you tell her is confidential to her, but also to me, so that she can talk to someone about what she’s heard, and not go crazy. Are you OK with that?”

“Yes, I will tell her my story. I trust you not to spread it further. It was a long time ago, and a different me. But if it helps another fellow sufferer, I’ll do it.”