Week 2 / Monday

Larissa awoke to a chilly day. The rain had stopped, and the cloud had lifted, but a cold wind was blowing along the coast from the south bringing cold cotton ball clouds with it. They woke early enough to go for a walk around the farm where they were staying, and she looked at the weather in dismay: they did not have appropriate clothing for this weather. It was summer, for crying out loud, and she felt like she could smell snow. But they were gradually travelling south, so they really should’ve been prepared for this.

The farm was lovely, very much reminded her of Jane’s farm, but this location was stunning – to her west the land sloped down to the Pacific Ocean, and on her east it slowly got steeper until it turned into a real mountain, mostly lost in misty clouds. Marty said it had snow all year up there, right on the coastline.

They walked quickly, trying to stay warm, and agreed that they really had a problem, and they needed buy something, so they headed back to wake Marty and Tui up in time for that.

Tui navigated them to an outdoors shop, and they went inside to look at the clothes. There was some big heavy woollen shirts for sale and she looked longingly at them, but they just weren’t practical. Tui said they were a classic kiwi thing and they’d be great for today, but they were just too warm otherwise. And so big ... how would they get them home? No, so they bought a plain woollen jumper and a raincoat each. Boring, practical, and cheap. Well, cheaper, anyway.

By the time they’d tried them on and bought them, they only just made it to the boat in time. Larissa was really excited for this one, and this was nothing compared to Julian’s excitement. They were going on a whale-watching cruise! This, along with Hobbiton, that had been Julian’s personal wishes. The web site said that they almost always saw whales, so they were sure hoping.

There was hardly anyone around – what? Were the in the wrong place or late? No, Larissa discovered when she ran to the sign, since she was first ready this time: most of the tourists who were booked were no shows because of the border closures or the weather. Even Auckland was closed to the rest of New Zealand now. There were two other couples and a family, parents with four children, younger teenagers on down. And two crew, captain and hostess, and don’t worry, she said, they certainly weren’t leaving without anyone if they could avoid it.

They boarded, and since there were so few people on board, Larissa introduced herself to all of them and then they had a safety briefing. Life jackets, toilets, yada yada. Then the boat cast off, and they went out to sit on the prow and look at the sea. It was still cold, but they had the right clothing now. The hostess came out the front, and introduced herself, Andrea, and said the captain’s name was Josh, and welcome aboard, did they want anything to drink? They introduced themselves, and agreed that a hot coffee would be pretty good, and asked her what they should expect.

Well, they’d probably be out for a couple of hours, maybe a bit longer. Sometimes it took a while to find whales, and they’d cruise backwards and forwards while Josh listened for them. There was a bit of a swell running, so the boat might bounce around a bit. Larissa grimaced – she had only been on a boat once before, a school trip, and that hadn’t been that good. Andrea noticed her grimace and said to stay outside if she could, keep her eyes on the horizon, and keep moving around, not just sit there. Larissa thanked her and did that.

The swell wasn’t that big, just a couple of feet, and mostly the boat just rocked gently, so she was ... OK. She did try looking down at her phone for a while, but that wasn’t so good, so she looked back up and found that it worked better if she looked toward the land, and it was more interesting anyway – more to see, though there were plenty of seagulls around to watch as well. Julian, Marty, and Tui ... totally comfortable. She growled at them and the guys actually laughed because she sounded so realistic, but Tui hugged her and said she understood; she’d been out in pretty bad weather once, and it sucked to feel seasick.

It took about an hour, and then suddenly the boat turned and accelerated. They looked around in excitement, but there was nothing to see. Suddenly the captain’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Everyone, we’re in luck. In a few minutes we’re going to encounter one of our resident families of Orcas.” He gave them a few minutes of information about Orcas, and the crazy things they’d been known to do. Including how a pod of Orcas had been attacking boats near Portugal, though they’d never been observed to do that around New Zealand.

In a few minutes, the Orcas did appear. They were swimming along at the surface, occasionally surfacing to breathe, in no apparent hurry to do anything, and the boat ran along beside them. All the passengers gathered on that side of the boat and took photos of the whales. Julian was just as excited as he could be, seeing such awesome animals in their natural environment. After a few minutes, the whales suddenly dived, and the captain said they’d go looking for sperm whales now.

Now the boat’s motion changed, and Larissa was much more comfortable, or maybe she’d got used to it. She sat on the prow of the boat, holding the fence tightly, enjoying the sea breeze. Suddenly a dolphin appeared right in front of her face. She squealed in excitement, and the others came over to see, and there were three dolphins swimming in front of the boat. For about twenty minutes they watched the dolphins; they almost seemed close enough to touch. What an amazing experience.

Then the captain’s voice came again, telling them to prepare for seeing some sperm whales. Oh, so exciting, and Larissa hopped up, ready for anything. Suddenly Marty pointed, and she could see a whale about a hundred meters away, just lying there. “The whale is getting ready to dive,” the captain said. “When it does, you’ll see the tail come out of the water.” The whale blew water into the air several times as it breathed and then arched its back. “Here goes!” the captain said, and then the massive tail poked out of water and gradually submerged. Wow, Larissa thought, there’s nothing else on earth like this.

Just as she was hoping that wasn’t it, the captain said to go round to the other side of the boat. She did, though there was nothing to see. Suddenly, a huge sperm whale burst out of the water right near the boat, and did a huge belly flop. Larissa’s heart nearly dropped out of her body, and she jumped in excitement. That was incredible! Then it appeared again to breathe, a huge blow of water, and did a huge tail slap. Larissa had heard about this, hoped to see it, but the reality was just astonishing. The whale was upwind now, and some of the water blew into their faces. Wow. Then the boat reversed, going backwards. “That one came up a bit close, and we’re just getting some distance,” the captain told them.

This whale was in a playful mood, and did several series of breaches, tail slaps and breathing. What an awesome experience – just an incredible thing to see, and Julian was just as excited. He had a poster of a sperm whale breaching on his bedroom wall when he was a kid, she knew. She kissed him and said, “What do you think?”

He shook his head and said, “This is so much better than I ever dreamed of. The only thing that could be better than this is you.” Then he thought and said, “So can I get a picture of both those things?” Sure, Larissa was game. She quickly gave her phone to Marty and then they stood on the side of the boat and kissed while Marty got ready to take a photo. A few seconds later, they heard the clear sound of the whale landing from the breach, and Marty grinned. “Got it!” he said. Did he and Tui want one? They sure did, and so Julian took a photo of them kissing, though all he could get with them was of a tail slap. Still, awesome.

Then the whale got ready to dive again, and Larissa waved it good-bye. They’d seen Orcas, dolphins and two sperm whales: more than she hoped for, and completely utterly worth the money they’d spent. They cruised around for a few more minutes and then the captain said that was it, time to go back, hope you enjoyed that. That got a rousing cheer from the passengers – how could you not enjoy that? The kids had been nearly as ballistically excited as Julian. And Tui.

Then the captain poked his head out of his control room, and said, “Julian and Larissa, right?” Sure, Julian said, that’s us. “Want to join me for a chat?” he asked. Sure, so Larissa grabbed Marty and Tui too and they crowded into the control room.

“Thanks,” Josh said. “So I think I know who you are.” Sure, Julian shrugged, probably. “Right. You work with Layna, right?” Yep. Sure. “It’s a privilege to meet you, and my kids are serious fans of Layna, had to watch her videos for a school project. What brings you to New Zealand?”

Julian explained: honeymoon, and doing research for Layna, and introduced Marty and Tui. Josh nodded, obviously what he expected, and launched into an impassioned plea to get Layna to come see the whales. He offered pretty much anything Layna might want – a whole week of the boats dedicated to the project alone, free accommodation, anything. Julian said that couldn’t possibly be a profitable thing for him, and he said that any advertising was a good advertising, especially something like Youtube that would last and last after the borders were open, but really, it wasn’t about money at all, he’d be winning with his kids, and that was priceless.

Faced with that, Julian folded and said that he’d put it to Layna and Chez and see what they said. But seeing the whales, he didn’t know how Layna could resist that one, so his chances were pretty good, though Julian wasn’t sure how that could link into the biodiversity/climate change theme for Launa. Well, Josh had a story about that that he put to Julian and Marty, and he had a university prof on speed dial to fill the picture out, and then Marty had an invite to go see him on Friday morning in Christchurch. Larissa nodded to herself: Josh had ticked all the boxes and she guessed Layna was coming to see the whales. She’d make her personal pitch to Layna in her daily report. They got a photo of Julian and Marty with Josh, and then one with the girls hugging him tight.

They were last off the boat, thanks to Josh, and also Andrea who’d squeezed into the room to see what was going on at the end. That was unexpected, Julian said. Yeah, that their videos were being used for school assignments ... did they know that? No, no direct confirmation before, though it was a definite goal.

They piled into the ute, ready for their next drive – to Hamner Springs to see an eco-farm run by a friend of Marty, and then staying on the road down to Christchurch. Marty turned the key ... nothing. There was sudden silence in the cab. Marty turned everything off and on again, and juggled the gear and brakes, and then tried again ... nothing, though the lights dimmed noticeably.

“The battery’s flat?” Julian asked him.

He frowned. “It really shouldn’t be. And there’s enough power for everything else?” He popped the bonnet and they all hopped out. Marty and Julian looked under the bonnet, and Julian checked all the connections were tight ... nothing. Julian rotated the fan belt ... super heavy, but it did move. So either the battery was a problem, and maybe the alternator, or the started motor was shot, or the control circuits had a problem, Marty said, and Julian agreed.

“Fuck!” Marty shouted, and Larissa realised he was genuinely upset, and shaking. “Fucking stupid piece of piss!” and he kicked the front tire. Wow, Larissa thought, he’s not handling this at all. She glanced at Tui, and saw that Tui was looking at him in shock. Then Marty groaned. “Fuck that hurt. We can’t afford this, and I can’t afford this.” He looked like he was about to cry.

Tui moved to him and held him tight in a big hug. “Love ... we can deal with this. I know we can. I know how you feel, how important this is, and how much you want to make this work. And we will make it work. I know you will. So let’s just chill, and relax, and figure out our options. After all, if we can deal with naked yoga with our friends, we can figure our way through this, right?”

Marty looked at her in surprise. It was the naked yoga reference that got to him there. He took a deep breath, and Tui looked at him sympathetically. Then she glanced at Larissa and Julian. “You know how big a deal this is for Marty, what an awesome opportunity this is, and he’s just so determined we’re going to get this right. So we understand, right?”

“Most definitely,” Julian said, “I totally understand how you feel, and I can get wound up in the project just as much. And we can afford this. The project will totally pick up whatever this costs to fix, and we can afford to lose at least a day if we really have to.” He joined the hug. “Marty, your ute’s been awesome for us, and so have you. So let’s cut it a break, and then if it really doesn’t play ball, you and I can go at it with sledgehammers.”

That got a weak smile from Marty, and he said, “Thanks. I know you’re right. It’s just ... I really want this to go right. Sorry for losing it there.”

Tui kissed him. “We don’t mind. It tells us how much you’re into what we were doing, and we love that you’re into it that much.”

Yep, Julian and Larissa agreed enthusiastically. Marty kissed her back, and then let go and went and dug around in the back of the ute. Julian followed him around, so Larissa smiled at Tui – that was an awesome effort there. Tui took a deep breath, so Larissa hugged her. “Well done! That was a super response from you.”

Tui took another deep breath. “Thanks.” Then very quietly she said, “Last time something like that happened, I got into him, and it nearly ended our relationship. If you hadn’t talked to us ... I don’t know what would’ve happened this time. Your advice about watching, tracking what he’s feeling strongly about ... that just saved us.” Tui kissed her quickly, and then let go because Marty had come back with some jumper leads.

“We’re going to try the battery thing first,” he said. But looking around ... there was no one left to jumpstart them.

“What about the RACV?” Julian asked. The what? Ahh, in New Zealand it was the AA, so Tui got on the phone to see if they could be any help, how many hours away they might be. Then Larissa saw Josh, he’d just come off the boat, and was looking at them, so she waved to him.

“Hi guys, what’s up?” he asked, when get came over. Marty explained. “Oh, right. These things. Starter motor for sure, seen it before. But let’s try jump starting you first.” He was back in a couple of minutes in a very old couldn’t-possibly-be-legal Landrover, a rattly old diesel. Sure enough, when they hooked up the batteries up, waited a minute, and tried again ... nothing. Josh turned his vehicle off and listened to it trying to start. “Starter motor for sure,” he said.

Marty sighed. “How long to get a starter motor up here?”

“Oh, usually overnight, it’s got to come up from Christchurch in a truck.”

Marty sighed. “That’s really going to hurt.”

“Well, maybe we have options. Just hang on!” Josh called a friend. “Hey Biff. Are you busy right now?” Pause. “Really busy? Can you just pop down to the dock here? Got something for you to look at.” When he hung up, he said, “Kaikoura’s best mechanic, does all my work, good mate. Where are you going from here?”

Marty explained – up to Hamner springs, an eco-farm, then the hot springs, then down to Christchurch and on to Queenstown, supposed to be there by tomorrow afternoon – big meetings organised.

“Well, I’m pretty sure we’ll get you to Queenstown in time,” Josh said.

Then Josh’s friend turned up. Larissa laughed, she’d never seen a blacker guy than this, and he was a pakeha too, but you could only tell by looking around his eyes. The rest of him was coated in vehicle muck. He took one look at Marty’s ute and said, “Starter motor. No stock here in Kaikoura, and I think they’re out in Christchurch.”

Josh smiled. “I thought it was the starter motor too, bro. These are good guys, and we really want to get them on the road again as soon as we can. How long do you reckon?”

Biff looked at him. “Really good guys?”

Josh nodded. Some code there, Larissa knew. “I’ll explain later, but whatever it is, worth it.”

“Three hours.”

“Three hours!” Marty exclaimed. “How can you do that?”

Biff grinned. “My job is to get you back on the road. Your job is not to ask questions. Come to my shop in three hours, and you’ll be good to go.” He waved at this car, and younger version of him got out. “Get any stuff you need out of the ute, and I’ll tow it back to my shop, and see you there later.”

Josh turned them and said, “I’d like to offer you lunch at my place while you’re waiting, if you don’t mind?” They looked at each other, sure, that’d be lovely. He grabbed his phone and made a call. “Honey, you know who I called you about before, is it OK if they came to lunch?” Pause. “Great. And yes, of course. Do I need to get anything?” Pause. “Thanks love, you’re the greatest.”

He smiled at them. “I called her before, I thought I recognised Julian, but I wanted to be sure, so I sent her a photo of you, and she said she was sure because of Larissa. Anyway, we’d love to have you to lunch, but we have to drop into the supermarket first.” Sweet, she was getting into a kiwi supermarket! They grabbed the things they needed from the ute, and piled into the back of the Landrover, the old sideways bench seats. Josh said, “Hey Biff, send your kids a message – they’re invited to lunch at our place starting now, they really don’t want to miss this one,” and jerked his thumb at his guests. Biff waved them off and bent down to attach a chain to the front of Marty’s ute.

Larissa bounced around in the back as Josh drove off and said, “This is exciting! We’re having an adventure!” She got smiles from them all back. Yeah, Marty was better now. “And no doubt we’re about to be inundated with a pile of kids who are extreme Layna fans.” Julian rolled his eyes, but he did smile.

Then they talked about their plans. They really wanted to get to Hamner Springs, and stay in their really cool yurt they’d got through AirBnB overnight, but it just wasn’t going to be possible. Instead they’d head south directly, and stay somewhere just south of Christchurch. Marty called his mate, and apologised, and they agreed that they’d do the visit virtually from the back of the ute while Tui drove. Not great, but better than nothing. Marty took a deep breath. “It’s sad, but it definitely could be worse, and my ute’s done great so far. Tui, thanks love, that could’ve gone really badly, but you pulled me out of the hole that I dug for myself.”

Tui kissed him and gave Larissa a very broad smile. Sweet and it warmed Larissa’s heart the way Tui and Marty had taken what they said on board so seriously.

The supermarket was interesting – in some ways it had quite different stock than Australia. She stocked up on some things she was running low on, bought some more things for the coming night, and bought some of Tui’s favourite snacks while Josh quickly bought stuff for lunch.

Josh’s place was a lovely farmhouse in the country a few minutes south of Kaikoura. He introduced them to Helen, his wife, and then their four kids – teens and tweens. Lunch was on a row of picnic tables out the back of the house with a view to die for of the mountains and ocean. Larissa was right about the kids: Helen had sent their four kids a message: “Drop everything and come home for lunch now! Special visitor, once in a lifetime opportunity. You do not want to miss out on this. All friends welcome.” One of them showed Larissa their message group, the kids had all said, “Who’s the visitor?” or some variant, and Helen had answered, “Not saying, but you’ve watched them on Youtube!” That’d been enough, and there were twenty kids there by the time lunch started, and one more turned up on a bike halfway through. She never bothered trying to learn their names; they just sort of split naturally into two groups, girls around Layna and Tui on one table, and boys around Julian and Marty on the other, and the kids pumped them for stories of what things were really like, and was it all real, and what was Layna really like, and was Layna really really coming to Kaikoura? And then one of the girls asked her about Lacey, which most of them didn’t know about, so they watched her on Youtube while listening to Larissa, gasping as they did.

After that, Larissa worked the subject around to her corporate speaking theme: alcohol and sexual assault, and being strong individually and as friends. She pulled Tui into a deep hug and kissed her and told the girls: my friend, we back each other completely. You do it too – hugs are the best, and be there because you’ll need each other, and don’t let the boys push your friends around. Physical, emotional, spiritual – all those levels. Now you do it! It made her happy when they did, hugging each other and promising to back each other. In the background she saw Helen giving her a huge smile for that one.

And then she grinned to herself. Julian must have noticed what she was up to, and no doubt he’d got into them about alcohol too, and strength, and it’s proper use, and now he had his arm around Marty, and she heard him say, “Are any of you strong enough to hug your mates? Or are you chickenshit?” Wow. Some of them were too, but the rest did hug their mates, and sat there with their arms around each other, like Julian and Marty.

Then the boys wanted Julian to give a Taekwondo demonstration, so he put it to Larissa: want a workout? Well, she was wearing her jeans, did anyone mind if she popped them off? The boy’s eyes just about bugged out of their heads, but today she had plain black sports undies on, so it really wasn’t that exciting. Once she had them off, they got the kids to stand back, and gave them their standard sparring warm up.

The boys were impressed but the girls ... they’d never dreamed of anything like that, so she asked, and by the time they left, Helen had confirmed: there was a Taekwondo club in Kaikoura, and it did have a girl’s night. “Right,” she said. “Girls, you want to be strong and confident. That’s how.” Then she showed them a weighted sit up with a stone from their garden and bet them that none of them, boy or girl, could beat her when she came back to Kaikoura. Because she definitely was – she really wanted to be on the boat with Layna for the whales.

After their sparring, Josh looked at his watch and then called Biff, and then told them their ute was nearly ready. They said goodbye to the kids, and hugged as many of them as wanted, on condition that they hugged someone else there first. Kids ... so that came pretty naturally but there was a lot of hugging going on, sweet. Last of all she said bye to Helen, and Helen told her that if she did come back to Kaikoura, please please please would she come and speak to the high school, she’d just changed some of these girls’ lives – she could already tell.

In the back of Josh’s Landrover, Marty and Tui looked at them: wow! Larissa shrugged. “We try whenever we can; too many of those kids will be having problems with bad family stuff, alcohol, loneliness, difficult relationships, teenage angst, sexual assault. Mostly they won’t say anything, but we’ve learnt how to leverage our Youtube image as a way into their hearts, to get behind their defences. Most of them won’t learn much, but a few of the girls and boys there, they’ll listen and change who they are, build better defences. It was good that you were there for the friendship bits, thanks.”

The ute was ready – Biff demonstrated. How had he pulled that off? He pointed to a twin of Marty’s ute, sitting in the corner of the shop. A mate’s ute, it’s waiting for the replacement starter motor, and he’s borrowing Josh’s tractor till it turns up. Biff wouldn’t even take money for it – Josh’s cost, and nor would Josh. “Just upping the pressure. I really want Layna to come here, even more after lunch,” he said with a smile.

In the ute, Larissa did a little dance, and said, “I’m in the front!” The others laughed at her, and she pulled her seat far forward to make space for Julian and Marty – they had their legs over each other like lovers so they could sit in the back and make their zoom call. Tui was driving, so it was up to Larissa to find them some accommodation a bit south of Christchurch – a four hour drive or so. What was available on AirBnB didn’t excite her. She messaged Suzy and Suzy called her, and they both looked. In the end they decided on one Larissa found, a country pub/hotel near a huge river south of Christchurch, in farming country. It had two rooms free and they looked OK, and the bistro was open.

And how was Suzy going? “Oh, great. I’m loving your daily reports and we look at them as a whole family each night. We really loved yesterday’s report, that was awesome. Dad particularly liked it, I can’t think why. Anyway, I’m stuck at home for a week, my sister has covid, and I think I did too. Dad’s moved out and sleeping at work so he can keep working. He just zooms home in the evening. We really need you to come home, Larissa, because staff are getting hard to find – everyone’s sick or isolating.” Larissa groaned, she’d probably have to work Friday. “Oh no you’re not.” Oh? “I’m back at work on Friday. And you’re definitely coming to the project office. The timetable with Nathan has moved forward, and that morning tea we talked about is this Friday. And that’s way more important than Dad’s work. I know my priorities are wrong, but I really really need him to make love to me.”

Larissa laughed at her because she could hear Suzy knew she was being ridiculous but also she could hear that she was serious. “You’re not going to date him first?”

“My whole life for four weeks has been one great big date with him. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life! And you gave me lessons, and I’m hanging out to blow his head off.” Pause. “Or his dick. Whatever.”

Larissa laughed at her some more and promised to do her best to be there on Friday morning.

Then she booked their accommodation on her phone while she told Tui about Suzy. Tui loved that – she’d zoomed Suzy a couple of times. Tui said, “Your life is amazing, so close to all your friends, so inside their relationships!”

Larissa nodded her head seriously, and said, “Yes. I do like knowing my friends really well, and scheming with them to get them better sex, and to have better relationships. Not all of them want that, so that’s fine, but if they do, they know that I’m all the way with them.”

“How many friends have you got like that?”

Larissa thought. “Well, it’s hard to say. Let’s see, on the morning of my wedding, there were ... sixteen ... friends there with me, and every one of them, I’ve, well, hugged and kissed them while they make love to their man, or made love next to them, or showered with them, or something. It’s really lovely.”

“Had sex with them?”

“Oh, no. Only one, a special deal, we had a threesome with her, and she’s probably going to be the only one ever. Well, other than that foursome I told you about.” And her night with Zach and Zara. And there was Jaiden and Asha, and Steph and Xander. And Ross and Amelia. She wasn’t sure what would happen with them in the future, but she had a good life, that’s for sure. Still she decided to keep it simple for Tui.

“Will you tell me about that?”

“Sure.” Larissa told her about the threesome with Maria, her bestest and dearest friend, except for all the other bestest friends, and what happened, and why. Even about Helen’s cameo.

“Wow. I really don’t know what to say,” Tui said, when she finished. “It actually sounds ... fun. I know Marty would like a threesome, all guys would, but I’ve always thought ‘no way.’ Not with a girl. But maybe...”

Larissa checked behind – Marty and Julian were still hooked up to their zoom call, both on headphones, and paying total attention to whatever it was, and talking to the other end. “It took Julian and I a couple of months to decide we were in, and we talked about it a lot. And we haven’t said we wouldn’t do it again, but we’d think about it hard and long, and we wouldn’t do it casually either – we’d want to know why. Do you see that Ava would’ve?”

Tui looked at her in surprise.

“Yep. She didn’t say anything, but her body language was clear – if we’d responded to her correctly, she was good for it – she came on to both of us subtly when you guys weren’t looking.”

“Umm! Oh, that was why that kiss at the end.”

“Yes. But we got that a lot, because of Youtube, and we’d never take it up; only someone who was a friend first, a good friend, and where we had a reason. But we’re good at letting people down gently now, tell them we love the offer and we think they’re crazy hot, but we can’t do that, or just hug them gently, or whatever. Mostly, they’re cool about it, and I let Ava down gently, and she was fine. Though I could’ve had her in public right there at the end. Anyway, you don’t have the Youtube problem, but ... my advice is, only do it if you really want to, and you know whoever it is really well, and you’re very clear what you’re both going to do with them, whether it’s a girl or a guy. Want to hear a story of how bad it can be?”