Chapter 74: One Last Stone

June 22, 2002, Apple Orchard Bed-and-Breakfast near Montpelier, Vermont

🎤 Birgit

“Hi, Birgit; it’s Patricia.”

It was late on Saturday morning, and she was returning my call.

“Hi. I have a friend who needs help. I was hoping you could give me some advice.”

“Tell me what’s going on and we’ll see what we can come up with.”

I explained the situation with Marcella, starting with how I met her, about later being discovered by her little sister, her parents’ reaction, and her phone call. I also let her know about my discussion with Katy and the call to my dad.

“First, let me say your dad puts a remarkable amount of faith in you.”

“Say all the nice things you want about him, he’s still a boy!”

Patricia laughed, “You left off your usual adjective!”

“Because it’s redundant!” I giggled.

“Nice, Birgit. Very nice.”

“If my answers frighten you, then you should cease asking scary questions!” I declared.

“Well, Jules Winfield, you don’t have many options because she’s only fifteen. Basically, parents are permitted to determine who their children associate with in most circumstances, the most notable exception being in public schools where teachers and administrators are acting in loco parentis. You know what that means, right?”

“Parents are loco!” I giggled, but then said, “Yes, I know what it means — in the place of parents.”

“Exactly. Parents are also able to determine medical treatment for their minor children, which would include psychological counseling, and there are very few exceptions. The ones I’m sure you know about are birth control pills and judicial bypass for abortions.”

“So they can send her to a quack who will tell her that being lesbian is a mental illness?”

“Not if she sees a licensed counselor, because the DSM no longer classifies it that way. That doesn’t mean they can’t reach the point in other ways, but they can’t classify it as a mental illness. And if it were a church counselor or something like that, then there’s no licensing involved, but they can’t diagnose a mental illness. They’d call it a ‘spiritual illness’ or something similar. In the end, because she’s under eighteen, she would have to challenge her parents’ control.

“She could do that either through emancipation proceedings or a custody hearing, if she had someone who would take responsibility and was willing to fight her parents with her. The only other option would be for her to call Family Services in New York and allege abuse, but I would strongly advise against that because she could end up in foster care, and ultimately be returned to her parents, which would make things worse.”

“So there’s nothing we can do?”

“Not really. Let me give you the name of someone in New York who works with gay and lesbian adolescents. They’ll be better positioned to help than either you are or I am. The person is a licensed clinical psychologist like your Aunt Bethany, and that means they’re bound by confidentiality rules.”

“Text, email, or IM, if you would. I have my laptop here with me.”

“I’ll send it by email. I have the information on my computer. Your new email address?”

“Yes. Dad said using ‘aol.com’ is silly, which is why he registered our family domain name. You know he has ‘nikaconsulting.com’ for his company email.”

“OK. I’ll send it to ‘empress’ at your family domain!” Patricia teased.

I laughed, “You joke, but that will actually get to me because Dad loves me!”

“And if I send it to ‘pumpkin’?”

“That, too!” I declared. “As I said, Dad loves me!”

“I’ll send it in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, Patricia! See you at the Fourth of July party!”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up, then went back to the kitchen to help Katy.

[San Francisco, California] 🎤 Steve

“Did I perform to your satisfaction?” I asked Kara as we showered together on Saturday morning.

“Always!”

“Did you, Jess, and Suzanne decide what to do about the celibacy period?”

“We discussed it, but because of the schedule changes you had to make, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. This is different from the first time, too, because then Jess was a virgin. Is everything set for next weekend?”

“Yes. Kristin is officially at a sleepover, at least so far as Kurt knows. Kathy obviously knows.”

“You don’t think Kurt knows?”

“I think Kurt wishes to remain blissfully ignorant, just as I do about a certain daughter’s escapades!”

Kara laughed softly, “You know she’s going to tell you because she wants to see you squirm in discomfort!”

“As Katt’s dad once said, there are some things a dad doesn’t need to know!”

“That was when she told him you curled her toes, right?”

“Yes.”

“I wish I was coming home with you today, but we have a few more days of work to finish our paper with our results.”

“I’ll be very happy to see your name on a patent!”

“And Stanford and UofC get all the royalties, as Doctor Nie said!”

“True, though the honorarium you were offered to speak at the ACS is nothing to sneeze about!”

“Compared to Jessica’s salary and her honorariums?” Kara asked. “Or even your bonus and profit sharing?”

“As I said, it’s criminal how professors are paid. Does it bother you?”

“Only in the sense that society has warped priorities with regard to how educators are paid. I do not envy you or Jess, and I certainly have the advantage of the combined family income which will go up once Suzanne starts making even MORE obscene amounts of money than the rest of us!”

“Fortunately, NIKA is able to claw back some of that filthy lucre from the lawyers!”

“Speaking of ‘filthy lucre’, how much will SKJ partners clear on the Braun takedown?”

“When all is said and done, around $50K, but that’s gravy, because the real gem is the Virtual Law Clerk division which is highly profitable, once we discard the former Lone Star/EB division and dump any unsecured debt into the bankruptcy petition.”

“I never asked, but who is that owed to?”

“When all is said and done, three banks and the Brauns. NIKA is buying Virtual Law Clerk, and most of the proceeds go to SKJ because of the preferred share agreement. There will be just enough left over to pay the banks and any outstanding suppliers. The Brauns get zero.”

“How does that work?”

“It’s a bit complicated, but the Braun’s sold themselves regular shares when they recapitalized the company. Shareholders come last in any bankruptcy. First, the secured creditors are paid, which in this case is SKJ because of the preferred share agreement. Then unsecured creditors, which includes any loans the Brauns made. Then shareholders. Jacob Goldberg, Jamie, and the M&A guys at McCarthy/Jenkins worked out the exact numbers to make it work, so everyone is paid off and the shareholders lose everything. That is only the Brauns, because SKJ bought out the Knowles & Jackson founders.”

“I think I’ll stick to polymer chemistry equations! They’re easier to understand!”

“For YOU,” I chuckled. “Finance and business I can do; polymer chemistry, not so much!”

“How much does Samantha make on this deal?”

“She wets her beak with preferred shares for financing the deal. As always! The exact numbers depend on the final value of the deal and the VLC profits during the redemption period for the preferred shares.”

“How much of NIKA does Samantha own after all of this?”

“None, except in the event of a sale or liquidation. Her shares are ‘non-voting, convertible, callable participating preferred’ which are, in reality, debt, not equity. They entitle her to a fixed dividend payment, which is effectively interest on the loan. Callable means NIKA can buy them back, in blocks, over time, which we have done with the previous financing she supplied.

“Convertible means that if NIKA is sold, she has the right to convert her shares to regular stock or ask for the shares to be bought at their declared par value. In almost any case, she’d want to convert her shares, as the current value of the shares on the books is likely significantly less than they’d be worth in a sale.

“The non-voting bit is tricky, as it means she has no vote at a normal shareholder meeting, nor any say on anything that NIKA does, with the exception of either a sale or potential liquidation. Then she can vote her shares, and, in the event of a liquidation, name two members to the Board of Directors to represent her.”

“And you think polymer chemistry equations are complex?” Kara asked, as we got out of the shower.

“My mind is wired for business and coding! I leave the hard science to you science geeks!”

“You said you had those shares in Braun’s company?”

“I do. They’re senior to all other stockholders, and I can redeem them in one of several ways. McCarthy/Jenkins worked out the exact details. And you know that SKJ Partners actually holds all of our assets except the house and personal property — both my stock in NIKA plus our joint investments. You and Jess each have your own retirement accounts as well. You and Jess are partners in SKJ, with the three of us being general partners, and me as the managing partner. When the kids each turn eighteen, we add them as limited partners, and avoid a good chunk of inheritance taxes which could, depending on changes to the tax law, mean the difference between a forced sale of NIKA and continuing to run it as what amounts to a family business.”

“And that’s legal?”

“Perfectly so. Just as dumping all the debt into the EB side of Braun’s company and leaving him twisting in the wind is legal. Jeri once said that the rules were different for the super-rich, and they are. We aren’t in that category, but we can take advantage of the legal tax avoidance that they’ve built into the system. But the most important thing it does is not the inheritance tax — SKJ avoids all the problems we’d have with probate because of our unique situation.”

“Do we add Suzanne?”

I nodded, “Yes, as a limited partner. When she begins working, she’ll buy in as a general partner in an amount that will satisfy the government that it’s not tax evasion or some other nefarious thing. It’s similar to how she’ll eventually buy into a partnership in whatever law firm she joins. SKJ will lend her the money on very favorable terms, which will probably be less than the law firm would offer.”

“There’s a reason Jess and I let you handle all of that!”

“And a reason I let Elyse, and now Suzanne, handle all the day-to-day stuff. That kind of minutiae, except in coding, drives me to distraction! I know, roughly, how much is in each of my accounts, but I really don’t care about the exact amount. I leave that to Suzanne and our accountant!”

“What about the house?”

“We’ll add Suzanne to the title deed, and we’ll all be joint tenants, along with my dad. We can buy him out at any time, but I’d rather have the cash than the equity. Remember, the ‘accredited investor’ rules do not allow us to count the equity in our home as part of the asset requirements.”

“I remember you mentioning something about that years ago. It has to do with what kinds of investments you can make, right?”

“Yes. The government, in its not-so-infinite wisdom, has decided I can’t do my own risk assessment, nor can I sign any kind of waiver or contract that would get around the law. No matter how good I am at investing, no matter how successful I am, unless I have sufficient investible assets, I can’t directly participate in anything they decide is too risky. One of the effects, of course, is to limit the truly profitable investments to the ultra-rich, so they sure as heck aren’t going to agree to relax the regulations.”

“Steve Adams, Marxist revolutionary!” Kara teased.

“Republican,” I replied. “Not the party, but a republican revolutionary, like Jefferson. And I hate banks and bureaucracies as much as Jefferson and Trotsky did!”

“I love when you compare those two!”

“Both men were concerned about entrenched powers betraying their revolutions, and had similar objections, even if they had very different solutions. Trotsky hated ‘bourgeois democracy’ and was for the ‘one-party state’, and an architect of the ‘Red Terror’, but that doesn’t make him less of a revolutionary, nor change his criticisms of how Stalin betrayed the revolution by destroying intra-party democracy.”

“That sounds somewhat contradictory!”

“No kidding! But then again, Jefferson had his own contradictions as well. And his own fight with those who would betray the American Revolution and the system of checks and balances, namely Adams and Hamilton. Jefferson and his supporters were the targets of the Alien and Sedition Acts, which, in part, were meant to deny the Jeffersonian Republicans support from immigrants coming into the country. The outrage amongst the populace over those acts led to Jefferson being elected and started the decline of the Federalists. Sadly, they won the argument, perforce, thanks to Lincoln, and it was cemented by FDR.”

“Which rant is that?” Kara asked with a smirk as we began dressing.

“None! Just a history lesson! Of course, you’ll find many who disagree with me, but that’s par for the course! That said, there is another provision, and that’s combined income over $300,000 per year for a married couple, for two years, which Jess and I will meet this year.”

“You can’t count my income, right?”

“It would be too risky. And we’d have qualified sooner if I took a larger salary.”

“Got it. You fly to Baltimore tomorrow evening, right?”

“Yes. Stephanie, Julia, Liz, Bob, Jamie, Samantha, Melinda O’Brien, Jacob Goldberg, and Ben Jackson are flying with me on Samantha’s plane. I managed to get a waiver for us to travel together from Joyce. Ned Jenkins and John Kyle will meet us there, as they’re coming from Pittsburgh. We’ll be home on Monday evening.”

“And I’ll be home late on Friday. I’ve missed you all so much.”

“Your research is important,” I replied.

“Oh, I know, I just wish we could do it in Chicago one year instead of me having to spend a month at Stanford every Summer.”

“Figure out what it would cost, and between NIKA and our personal giving, we make a charitable donation in that amount to Stanford for your research project.”

“This is why YOU handle the finances and I do the science!”

“Exactly! We’re a good team, Kara. We always have been.”

“Except that year...”

“And yet, it was necessary, and we both came out stronger.”

“True. I’ll speak with the others on the team and see what they think. I know UofC would love to host!”

“Let me know, and we’ll work it out.”

“Isn’t there some law against giving charity that benefits you?” Kara asked.

“The money would be used for whatever purpose the team decides,” I replied. “You recuse yourself from the decision, and you won’t be gaining any direct material benefit. I’ll run it by the tax guys at McCarthy/Jenkins, to be sure.”

We finished dressing and headed downstairs to breakfast.

[Rochester, Minnesota] 🎤 Jesse

“Your final score for the camp is 93,” Coach Norm said. “Only one forward scored higher, and he had a 94.”

“Thanks, Coach.”

“You improved significantly in your stick handling as well as your timing for going down into the butterfly. You still occasionally leave your five-hole unguarded, and you haven’t completely given up on the old-school ‘stack the pads’ style. That worked OK against younger kids, but at this level, everyone can hit top shelf from close in. Otherwise, we’ll agree to disagree on puck handling away from the crease, because you’ll undoubtedly point to the best NHL goalies in that regard.”

“So long as I don’t emulate Patrick Roy, it’s all good!” I grinned.

“He has made some spectacular errors in that regard! That’s always the risk, so we advise you to defer to your defensemen as much as you can. Where are you playing in the Fall?”

“For Kenwood Academy in the Chicago Public School league.”

“Any thoughts on college?”

“UW Madison,” I replied. “But I’ll apply to BC, University of Minnesota, and a couple of other good hockey schools.”

“Any thoughts of playing in the QMJHL or another Canadian league?”

“What are the chances I’ll actually make an NHL team?”

“Better than most of the guys on the ice with you.”

“And compared to Canadians, Swedes, and Russians?” I asked.

“A good point. What’s your plan?”

“Play either for a club team or the NCAA team, get my degree in business and sports management, then work for an NHL team as a coach, scout, or in the front office.”

“A very realistic plan. It gives you a shot, and if someone decides you might have what it takes, you might even be drafted. But you’re wise not to plan on that. Will we see you next year?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Any fallout from your roommate?”

“No. I spoke to one of my friends who is a criminal defense lawyer and he was happy with how I handled everything.”

“You have a friend who’s a lawyer?”

“A friend of my dad’s who used to be a Navy JAG who I take money from playing poker twice a month!”

“How long have you been playing?”

“For money? Since I was fourteen. My dad taught me how to play before then. One of my brothers plays as well. Dad’s the best poker player I know.”

“What does he do for a living?”

“He and his friends started their own computer software and consulting company right out of college.”

“What does your mom do?”

In keeping with our new strategy, I simply answered about Mom One.

“She’s an electrical engineer and works for a test-automation company.”

“Do you have siblings?”

“Yes, but all half due to a blended family,” I replied.

“Anyone else play hockey?”

“No.”

“Dad?”

“No. He’s a big hockey fan, and neither he nor my mom wanted me to play football.”

“You’re certainly built for tight end.”

“I prefer soccer to American football.”

“I heard you played in a hockey tournament in Europe. How did that happen?”

“In Russia, actually. My dad is friends with a member of the Duma and a retired Red Army/Russian Army general. You know that picture of Yeltsin on the tank?”

“Yes.”

“General Dmitry was in command of that unit and defended democracy against the Communist coup. He teaches military history at Dartmouth. His wife, who is my dad’s former girlfriend, is the Russian Trade Attaché. I’m actually going to Russia next month to see my friends in the Russian Army as well as other friends I have there.”

“You’ve had some amazing experiences! Good luck with your season, and we’ll see you next Summer. Would you consider working in the session we run for kids who are eight to twelve?”

“Sure. Just send me the information so I can share it with my parents. They’ll say ‘yes’ for sure.”

“Do you have email?”

“Yes. Let me write it down for you, along with my IM.”

I did, we shook hands, and I left his office, letting Teddy, one of the forwards, know it was his turn.

I grabbed my gear and met Scarlett in front of the dorm. Don and Mary arrived about fifteen minutes later, I introduced everyone, and then loaded my gear into the back of Don’s SUV.

June 23, 2002, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Steve

“DAD!” Birgit squealed when she came through the security doors at Midway.

She rushed over, dropped her bags and threw her arms around me. I hugged her tightly, she kissed my cheek, and I kissed her forehead.

“I missed you, Dad!” she said when I released the hug.

“How was your flight?”

“OK. An annoying woman sat next to me and tried to talk to me like I was five! I couldn’t take it, so I put on my noise-canceling headphones and listened to music and read a book.”

“Let’s go get your bag.”

We began walking to the baggage claim.

“What time are you leaving for Baltimore?”

“Around 7:30pm,” I replied. “We’re taking Samantha’s plane.”

“Must be nice!” Birgit groused playfully. “Configured with the bed?”