Chapter 44: «Wali Mukhtar»

April 14, 2002, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Steve

“I see you have two new friends,” Jessica said when she, Kara, and I left the house to walk to the hospital on Sunday morning.

“I think Roman and Joe are going to fit right in,” I said. “They both play poker, both like bourbon, and seemed to get along with the rest of the guys.”

“Paige is Joe’s daughter, right?” Kara asked.

“Yes,” I replied, “but after my talk with Maya yesterday, I don’t think there’s any risk that Paige lets the cat out of the bag. The same is true for the others. The only risk is Kelly.”

“What will you do if she comes on to you at the party?” Jessica asked.

“Tell her ‘no’ quite firmly. She doesn’t know about Maya and me, and I get the strong impression she only knows about Angelina. I can safely say that it was a one-time thing, as we agreed.”

“You don’t think she might try to blackmail you, do you?”

“You mean about Angelina? She could try, but I’m positive Angelina will deny it and say that she’s been seeing Jesse since January. And what proof would Kelly have? None. And she was seventeen, so that’s not illegal. Maya also told me that all the cheerleaders who still had their V-cards destroyed them as soon as they heard the principal was going to investigate. I’m positive they’ll deny everything because it’s in their best interest to deny everything. I advised Maya to say that the rumor was started by a member of the softball team to try to deflect attention. That has the advantage of being true!”

“Do you know who?”

“I’m going to guess Paige’s little sister,” I replied. “Jesse said there have been rumors about the cheerleaders since he was a Freshman but nobody believed it. Unfortunately, the softball team’s behavior changed that.”

“Josie said they didn’t make any headway with the principal,” Kara interjected. “Josie is concerned about CeCe and Luna losing their scholarships.”

“If that were to happen, then I’d have to get involved,” I said. “I know a lawyer or two who would LOVE to take on the NCAA and the colleges over the issue!”

“Of course you do!” Suzanne declared. “And this pre-law student would love to be involved if that happens!”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I’ll mention it to Jesse so he can let me know if I need to get involved.”

We arrived at the hospital where Kara and I kissed Jessica, and Suzanne hugged her. They’d decided not to change their behavior until after we had our ceremony right before we left for Sweden.

We headed home where I was immediately accosted by a daughter for cuddles because she knew I’d have to leave very soon to go to the dojo. She could only have ten minutes before I had to change into my gi and head to the dojo.

“Good morning, Sensei,” Rachel Kealty said when she came into the dojo a few minutes after I’d arrived.

“Good morning, Rachel. This is Miyu, my senior student at the dojo.”

Miyu, who had been waiting at the door when I arrived, bowed and said, “Good Morning, Rachel.”

“Uhm, am I supposed to bow?” Rachel asked.

“It’s the equivalent of shaking hands,” I said. “So, it would be polite to do so. As she’s an assistant instructor, you should bow slightly lower than she did, as a sign of respect.”

Rachel did so, slightly awkwardly, then turned to me and said, “You don’t bow when you greet me.”

“You’re not a karate student, and neither of us is Japanese. We can certainly begin doing so, if you want.”

“Isn’t that up to you?” Rachel asked.

“If you were a karate student, I’d give you instructions on how to show deference and respect, but you aren’t, so I treat it more like a teacher-pupil relationship similar to what you might have in college. Shall we begin with our stretching?”

We did that, and then I instructed Rachel on throws and falls with Miyu switching between being the attacker and defender. After about thirty minutes, Miyu bowed to me and left, so that I could work privately with Rachel and talk with her.

“How was your week?” I asked as we moved to the practice bag.

“Not much different from any other in the past twenty years, except I did a lot of thinking.”

“That’s good. Demonstrate your strikes, please.”

She did as I instructed, and when I was satisfied with her progress, I asked if she wanted to talk.

“I suppose,” she said reluctantly.

“Again, it’s a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. Either you do, or you don’t.”

“I do.”

I nodded, and she followed me to the office.

“I thought about what you said, and you’re right.”

“About?”

“How I allowed that guy to basically ruin my life.”

“He didn’t ruin your life,” I corrected. “He did what he did, and it was your response to what he did that led you to sitting here across from me, thinking your life is ruined. It’s not, by the way. You have thirty years, at least, to find yourself and find meaning in your life. But that’s on you, not him.”

“Jesus, you’re blunt,” she said quietly.

“You spent twenty years self-cloistered, so I doubt anything but ‘shock therapy’ will work.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“Put what happened when you were twenty behind you, get out of your monastic cell, and live! Somewhere, deep inside you, is a wonderful young woman waiting to be set free.”

“Forty isn’t young!”

“Nor is it old,” I countered. “You’re in good shape, in apparently good health, and if you’ll pardon the slight indiscretion, very nice looking.”

“Thank you, but I don’t agree.”

“Because when you look in a mirror, you see a nun, not a vibrant young woman who should be enjoying life. Until you can cast off the habit, coif, and wimple, that’s how you’ll see yourself.”

The corner of Rachel’s lips curled into a slight smile.

“Did you just tell me to take off my clothes?”

I chuckled, “I meant figuratively, obviously, because you’re wearing sweats! That said, nudity is liberating. After all, it’s our natural state. As the Christian Scriptures say about Adam and Eve, ‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’”

“From anyone else, I’d swear that was just an attempt to see me naked, but it doesn’t feel that way.”

“Because it’s not. In what I just said, physical nudity was a stand-in for baring your soul and freeing your mind. You’ve put on shackles that manifest themselves in your self-cloistering. Only you can take off those shackles.”

“I get the strong impression you’ve had conversations similar to this one many times.”

“I have. I spend a lot of time helping people to break through mental shackles, though usually they aren’t as limiting or confining as the ones you’ve put on. It takes a serious breaking down of their thought process, then helping them rebuild it. Generally, it’s the Socratic method, though I have an earthier term I often use.”

“I work with lawyers. I doubt you could use an ‘earthy’ term I haven’t heard in the past week.”

“Mindfucking,” I said.

Rachel laughed softly, “Nice. But that is what Socrates did, isn’t it? Asked questions until people were totally twisted in knots and had to admit they didn’t know up from down.”

“Correct.”

“Is that what you think I need?” she asked.

“There are some people for whom I prescribe it; there are others who ask for it. Not everyone can handle it.”

“Not an answer to my question!” Rachel said with a smile.

“I actually don’t think you need what I call ‘mindfucking’. What you need is a friend. That’s my prescription.”

“You?”

“I can certainly help you, if you want.”

“Let me think about it.”

I nodded, and we left the dojo. I headed home to spend time with my daughters, Kara, and Suzanne before Philosophy club.

“Happy birthday!” I said to Samantha when she arrived for Philosophy Club on Sunday afternoon.

“Thanks!” she said, giving me a hug.

“What do you give a girl who has everything?” I asked.

“Brian complained about that, too! I told him that putting in his papers was all the presents I needed after him being away for so long.”

“Did he call Katya? I meant to ask last night, but didn’t get a chance.”

“Yes. He’s flying to New York to meet with her on Tuesday. I get the impression the role is his for the asking.”

“He’ll be perfect leading their liaison team. It’s an organizational and relationship job, which is right up his alley.”

“It beats counting 7.62 rounds and artillery shells!” Samantha declared.

“He had enlisted men for that!”

“True!”

We went to the great room and over the next ten minutes, the members of the Club filtered in.

“Did everyone have a chance to read the book?” I asked.

There were nods and murmurs of assent from everyone.

“I bet you loved the quote in the Lingam/Yoni chapter,” Elizabeth said with a goofy grin.

“You wound me, Madame!” I exclaimed.

“What quote was that?” Kim asked.

Elizabeth opened her copy of the book and read it.

“Bullshit!” several of the women exclaimed forcefully, with Samantha being the loudest.

“You all know Steve is NOT like that!” Natalie declared. “He worships us as goddesses!”

“Thank you,” I chuckled.

“I’ll take my reward later!” she declared.

“I think I can accommodate!” I replied. “But back on topic, did anyone find a parallel to the Old Testament in that chapter?”

“Me!” Kara exclaimed. “And it’s YOUR fault!”

“Mine?”

“Because you explained that ‘rib’ really meant side, and that Adam and Eve were, in effect, two halves of the same whole. The Vedas posit an original being who was a fusion of male and female, and they split, desiring companionship with another, rather than with self. It’s basically the same myth as told in Genesis.”

“Very good,” I replied. “I do want to take issue with something Shlain posits, and that is that images were wiped out by alphabets. The Orthodox faith makes extensive use of images in worship, and reverences them regularly, lighting incense and oil lamps and kissing them. In the West, only a seriously reduced form exists in Roman Catholicism. That goes to my argument that Orthodoxy is more Eastern religion than Western, AND that it is closer to the truth than those religions which, in effect, worship the written word. His chapter on Patriarchs/Heretics also mis-characterizes Orthodox theology, though given his goal is to prove that writing is a patriarchal tool, I’m not surprised.”

“He also blames science and writing for witch hunts,” Elizabeth said. “He had me nodding in agreement quite a bit before the chapter on Science/Witchcraft. While I agree that there is misogyny in the scientific community, science is NOT anti-woman. His complaint, basically, is that science destroys feminine spirituality, but a number of people here know that’s not the case. It does wipe away myth and superstition, but those ought to be wiped away, to the extent that people try to use them to control others.”

“But doesn’t science have basically the same result?” Julie asked. “It’s a more jealous god than the God of Abraham!”

“So true!” Achara declared. “But Buddhist spirituality is not inconsistent with science.”

“Neither is Orthodox spirituality, Shlain’s opinion to the contrary notwithstanding,” I said. “One thing that has never been necessary is for Jesse to check his brain at the door of the church.”

“Demons? Angels?” Tessa challenged.

“Loki? Fate?” I answered. “The personification of forces in the universe is a convenient shorthand. And before you mention Satan, I’ve met enough prosecuting attorneys to know that the image presented in Job is accurate!”

Everyone laughed.

“Think of it this way,” Trish said. “We personify our conscience to the point where Disney could present Jiminy Cricket as a conscience for Pinocchio. We personify Fate, as Steve said, and Mother Nature, and other concepts because it’s natural for us to anthropomorphize things, including our pets, our computers, our cars, and just about anything else you can name.”

“I do want to add,” I interjected, “that there are some Orthodox Christians, maybe even most, who do believe in demons, angels, and other spirits, BUT they do so in ways that do not interfere with accepting scientific belief. You won’t find a single ‘Young Earth’ Orthodox Christian anywhere. The Orthodox take is that the creation stories are revelatory about God and man, NOT blow-by-blow accounts of actual events. There’s a Mark Twain quote which I think perfectly fits the bill — ’It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me; it’s the parts I do understand.’”

🎤 Birgit

“Can I ask you something?” Tabitha inquired after we arrived home from the Hangout.

“Sure.”

“Is your brother Jesse like your dad?”

“In what way?” I asked cautiously, given Dad had reprimanded me for telling Tabitha things I shouldn’t have.

“With girls.”

“I don’t think I should answer that question,” I replied. “We’re not supposed to talk about things like that, and I got in a bit of trouble for saying too much in the past. Can I ask why you want to know?”

“I guess I was just curious if how your dad conducts his life is how his boys conduct their lives.”

I thought about what I could say, and I felt I was safe giving an example.

“Well, Matthew has been seeing the same girl since he was about nine. Well, they knew each other before that, but he wasn’t into girls until he turned nine. Then they hung out when they could and talked all the time. I’m positive they’re going to marry, and it’ll be a traditional marriage, just the two of them, for life.”

“He lives with his mom and her boyfriend, though.”

“Yes, but he lived here until about two years ago. But take my sister Stephie as another example. We all thought she was going to be with Nicholas for life, from the time they were toddlers, but she’s decided to be Queen Bitch and he’s not having any of it!”

“I’ve seen Jesse hanging out with lots of girls.”

“I hang out with lots of girls!” I giggled.

“But that’s different!” Tabitha protested.

“So far as YOU know!”

“Wait! Are you...”

“No,” I giggled. “But Jesse has always had lots of female friends, even when he and Francesca were a couple. And they were from the time he was like three months old until her mom completely lost her shit when Francesca was fourteen because she was afraid Francesca and Jesse were going to do what everyone knew they would eventually do. And it was SO dumb, because if she’d minded her own business, Jesse and Francesca would have married and been faithful to each other for life, just like Matthew and Chelsea will be.”

“And you?”

I smirked, “I intend to have as much fun as possible before I put on a ball and chain!”

Tabitha laughed, “Isn’t it the guy who usually says that?”

“Yes, but being tied down is not my idea of a fun future, unless it involves ropes and blindfolds!”

“Birgit”! Tabitha gasped.

“What? You read Aunt Bethany’s book, right? I was teasing, mostly, because that’s how I would feel about being in an exclusive relationship before I get out of college and get a job. And even then, I’m not going to rush. I want to have a kid, eventually, but like when I’m thirty, not twenty-three like Mom! And before then, why not have as much fun as possible? You were with my dad, and if the rumors are true, it was a lot of fun and made you feel really good!”

“You aren’t grossed out by that?”

Grossed out? No way! I wanted what she’d had! But I couldn’t say that.

“Sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship,” I said. “So obviously my moms and my dad have sex. I expect them to, actually. So, it’s not gross because it’s what they’re supposed to do. And with you, I know Dad likes to have his fun, and my moms are OK with that, so I don’t think that’s gross, either. You did enjoy it, right?”

“Yes,” Tabitha said, blushing slightly.

“And you want to find someone to do it with, right?”

“Yes,” she admitted quietly.

“Then find someone and do it! Make him feel good and have him make you feel better! Worry about a husband MUCH later!”

“You really don’t seem like you’re thirteen.”

“Before you met my dad, did you act like any of the teens who hang around or live at the Compound?”

“No. I was still a little girl because that’s what my dad and my pastor wanted me to be. Your dad wanted me to be a grown-up.”

“Which is what he wants from all of us kids and the cousins. Well, all teenagers, really. I think you made a really good decision to have Hope as your roommate. She’s really smart and is a lot of fun. She can help you be whoever you want to be, just as Dad can. But girls think differently from boys, which is a good thing!”

Tabitha laughed, “Dumb boys?”

“Truer words have never been spoken!” I declared emphatically.

🎤 Jesse

“Jesse Block, this is my dad, Antonio Perez; Dad, this is Jesse Block from school.”

“Hi, Mr. Perez,” I said,

“Hi, Jesse. I’ve seen you play,” Mr. Perez said, extending his hand.

I shook hands with him.

“This is my wife, Mercedes, and my eldest daughter, Mirabella.”

Mirabella was a Senior, but looked younger than her sister, who was a Freshman, which was strange.

“Hi,” I said. “Nice to meet all of you.”

“And this is my friend Xaviera,” Angelina said.

“Nice to meet you, too,” I said to the very pretty Hispanic girl who was about a foot shorter than I was, with long hair that reached her waist.

“Hi, Jesse!” she said demurely.

“Jesse, may I speak with you before dinner?” Mr. Perez asked.

“Yes, of course,” I replied, knowing that I was going to be ‘interviewed’.

Angelina had prepared me for the talk, though I was confident I could handle him. Unlike Deacon John, he seemed rational. Nothing had been said at church, but Viktoria hadn’t stood next to me, which was not a surprise. Macrina had taken the spot, and asked after the Liturgy, but I just said things had gone the way we’d expected them to. That had made her happy, as it meant, in her mind, more poking with my big stick. I wasn’t sure about that, but I was open to the idea.

I followed Mr. Perez to what I would call a den — a large TV, a stereo, fútbol posters, and a large Tottenham banner.

“You’re a Premier League fan?” I asked.

“Yes. Do you follow it?”

“Yes. My friends and I are all Spurs fans.”

“Most Americans don’t follow fútbol, or soccer as you call it.”

“We don’t like gridiron,” I said. “But we love fútbol.”

“Angelina says she would like to go out with you. She’s had her «quince», which means she’s a young woman, so I’ll allow it, but you must promise me to treat her with complete respect, and to respect our rules.”