Chapter 26: Closure

March 6, 2002, Greater Cincinnati, Ohio

🎤 Steve

“How did you get my number?” I asked in surprise.

“Uhm, it was in Lou’s Rolodex.”

The fact that she’d called me indicated I’d made an error in judgment in how I’d handled Emmy’s troublemaking. I had felt that if I’d simply left Lou’s, Tabitha would contact me and start herself down a path I had seen trodden many times. I had been sure that had I just been polite and left, Emmy would have encouraged Tabitha to get in touch with me. Because of that, I’d chosen to act in a way that Tanya would describe as «некультурный», believing that would put a stop to any troublemaking by Emmy. That plan had clearly backfired, at least with regard to my intentions.

Of course, my ‘intentions’ were nearly always to bed pretty, virginal girls who made themselves available, though usually only after a thorough mindfuck, or at least a verbal dance to ensure they truly wanted to do what they were asking to do. That said, sometimes things were so clear, as they were with Kristin Jaeger, that it wasn’t necessary.

I considered my options — ending the conversation, being polite, or continuing to be «некультурный». If Tabitha had simply been a sweet, innocent girl from a small town, as had been the case with Winter, I’d probably not have responded the way I had, but fundamentalist Christianity pushed every button I had, and men like Tim Saddler or Kent van der Meer made me see red in ways even the government couldn’t achieve.

Given what I strongly suspected was the case, and with the chance to stick it to Tim Saddler by sticking it to one of his flock, I decided to continue my earlier approach, though I knew there was a potential impediment — an STI test. Of course, with my luck, she’d have had one, though, with her, the only circumstance I could imagine was that she’d donated blood. With that in mind, I continued along the same lines as I’d done in the earlier conversation.

“And you thought it was a good idea for a virgin, Christian girl to call a guy who told her he was going to get her into bed for raw, animalistic, mattress-pounding, headboard-banging, multi-orgasmic fucking?”

“Why are you being like that?” she asked.

“Like what? Being myself? Being honest? I love to bed virgins and I make no apologies for that! Now, if I were truly evil, I’d have pretended to be something I’m not and instead of talking on the phone, we’d be in bed right now, your legs wrapped around my butt, with me fucking your brains out and you screaming in pleasure for more!”

“Stop it!” Tabitha protested.

“You placed a call to someone who promised to do exactly what I said,” I replied. “I am NOT a guy you want to ‘get to know’ if you value your virginity. Trust me on that. If you think you can convert me, you’re mistaken. I suspect I know the Bible better than you do; in fact, I suspect I know it better than your pastor.”

“The devil can quote Scripture!”

I laughed, “That’s Shakespeare, not Scripture! It’s from The Merchant of Venice. The closest thing in the Scriptures would be the story about Jesus and Satan, where Satan demands that Jesus turn the stones to bread. Jesus replies ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.’. But that’s not the same thing. You are playing with fire, Tabitha. The world is nothing like you think it is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve had run-ins with men like your pastor; I actually had a run-in with your pastor, for Loki’s sake! I’ve known plenty of fundamentalist Christians over the years. What you all think the world is like is nothing even close to reality. If I were you, I’d say ‘goodbye’ and hang up now. I gave you four reasons earlier today why you don’t want anything to do with me.”

“Why are you being like that?”

“I’ve already answered that — it’s who I am. And given how I spoke to you, there is only one reason you would call me, and that’s because you want to have your brains fucked out!”

“I’d never!” she gasped.

I almost laughed, but didn’t. That was exactly what she wanted, even if she wouldn’t admit it to me, or even consciously to herself. To me, though, it was absolutely obvious, and Tabitha was ‘protesting too much’. In my mind, the only option was to continue along the same lines, with one of two results — I’d never see her again, or I’d end up fucking her.

“Not only would you,” I replied, “but you want to fuck. You want me to fuck you. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have called me. But there are three potential impediments to me fucking you senseless. First, I’m in Cincinnati now and I plan to drive back to Chicago in the morning, but I can change that. Second, you need to have had a recent STI test. Third, you have to ask me to fuck you.”

“You are rude!” she exclaimed.

“No, I’m not; I’m direct. I don’t want you to have any delusions about what’s going to happen. You think about what you want, and call me before 10:00am tomorrow. Of course, if you haven’t had an STI test, it’s not happening.”

“What kind of girl do you think I am?”

“You called a guy who promised raw, animalistic, mattress-pounding, headboard-banging, multi-orgasmic fucking! You tell me! And if you mean about an STI test? It’s mandatory for any sex partner, virgin or not. Diseases can be transmitted in other ways besides sex. Anyway, I’m going to hang up now. You think about it and call me back before 10:00am if you want what I promised.”

She didn’t answer, so I said ‘good night’ and when she didn’t respond to that, I hung up, shaking my head. I put my phone on the table and picked up my computer and continued writing in my journal. I now had more to write about, and time to consider my thinking. I was absolutely positive I had the right impression of what Tabitha wanted, and I fully expected her to call me back if she’d had her test.

One thing I could be sure of, and that was that if Tabitha called back, she knew exactly where this was going to end. For me, there was the question of whether or not I should do it. And that decision was pretty easy, actually. Minus her fundamentalist Christianity, Tabitha was a perfect ‘Steve type’ — blonde, with blue eyes, small breasts, long legs, slightly flared hips, and a tight, muscular butt.

I did have to consider the aftermath, but I was positive she was over eighteen, as she was working during the day on a weekday, which meant she’d graduated High School. If I had to guess, I’d say she was nineteen, but she could easily be twenty or even twenty-one. There was an off chance she had graduated early, but even in that case, she’d be over the age of consent in Ohio, which was sixteen.

As numerous confidantes had said over the years, how she dealt with it was really up to her, though I maintained that if I felt the girl might regret it, I wouldn’t do it. As I thought about it, I realized that I could potentially gain some insight from Vickie Northrup, née Saddler. I looked up her number in my computer address book and dialed her house.

“Hello?” Martin said when he answered.

“Hi, Martin! It’s Steve Adams.”

“Hi, Steve! How are you?”

“Good. How is Cole?”

“What do they say? Growing like a weed?”

“They do grow fast,” I agreed. “If it’s not too late, may I speak with Vickie, please?”

“Let me get her for you.”

A minute later Vickie came on the phone.

“Hi, Steve! Where are you?”

“Cincinnati. I had business in the area. I was in Rutherford for a few hours, but it was midday and I had meetings with Lou and the Reynolds, and had to get back to Cincinnati for dinner.”

“Bummer! We’d have loved to see you.”

“Martin said Cole is growing quickly.”

“He’s a brute! But you’ve seen Martin, and Cole looks like him. Is this just a call to say ‘hello’ or is there something you need?”

“Just to pick your brain for a moment.”

“About?” Vickie inquired.

“Do you know a girl named Tabitha who attends your dad’s church and works at Lou’s?”

“Sure. Tabitha Larson. She’s a friend of my younger sister, Elizabeth. I’m friends with her older sister, Naomi. Why?”

“October 18, 1996!” I chuckled, having looked it up in my journal.

“No way! Impossible!”

“With God, all things are possible!”

We both laughed.

“I’d say ‘Inconceivable!’,” she said mirthfully, “but I know you’re a fan of The Princess Bride. There’s just no way, Steve. She’s been under my dad’s spell from the time she was born. She carries her Bible everywhere and was President of the Bible Club at Harding County High for four years! She was captain of the State Bible Bowl Championship team and teaches kindergarten Sunday School! Her first kiss will be at her wedding, and she’ll do her ‘wifely duty’ in the dark, under the covers!”

“All of that might be true, but I met her today when I was at Lou’s, and someone suggested she should get to know me. She approached me and I basically told her she didn’t want to do that, because if she did get to know me, the only possible outcome was ‘raw, animalistic, mattress-pounding, headboard-banging, multi-orgasmic fucking’!”

“You actually said that to her?!” Vickie gasped.

“Yes. And gave her a list of reasons to stay away from me. When she approached me, I was concerned that if I turned on the charm, or even just was polite, she’d pursue me, so I tried to head it off by being blunt and somewhat rude. It didn’t work. She looked up my number in Lou’s Rolodex and called me a few minutes ago.”

“Holy shit!” Vickie gasped. “I don’t believe it!”

“Me, either, in one sense, but in another, it’s the story of my life!”

Vickie laughed, “I know that story! I had a cameo!”

“A bit more than that,” I chuckled. “We’re still in touch, though you’re married and have a son.”

“And one on the way in seven months!”

“Congratulations! I take it you haven’t announced that?”

“Only to a couple of close friends. I planned to email you in March to let you know.”

“What else can you tell me about Tabitha?”

“Not much. She never dated because the true fanatics never do. I know from Naomi that their dad has a guy in mind for Tabitha. His name is Mark, and he’s finishing his last year of Bible College at Master’s Seminary, in California. I’m pretty sure that when he comes back, he’ll be youth pastor and my dad will basically give Tabitha to Mark. She’ll dutifully marry him and have a boring fundamentalist life, living with a boring fundamentalist pastor, in a boring fundamentalist house, with boring fundamentalist sex, two boring fundamentalist kids, and a boring fundamentalist dog.”

And Vickie had just given me a plausible reason why Tabitha had reacted the way she had. In her mind, she needed a ‘bad boy’ to escape from her dad’s plans for her. In many ways, it reminded me of Kara’s relationship with her dad, in that he planned to hand her to Lucas van der Meer, despite Kara not wanting that. Her escape had been in losing her virginity, and it was entirely possible, in fact, probable, that was what Tabitha had in mind.

“What in Loki’s name is a ‘fundamentalist dog’?” I asked, chuckling.

“I just made that up because I’d used that word for all the other stuff. But you get my point, right?”

“I do.”

I also was confident in my assessment of the situation. It was really only a question of whether I asked Tabitha about it or not. Well, assuming she called back, which I was reasonably confident she would.

“I think you just shocked her.”

“It’s possible,” I allowed. “Anyway, thanks for the insight.”

“You’re welcome! Remember to get in touch the next time you’re in Rutherford!”

“I will. And you’re always welcome to visit us in Chicago.”

“Thanks!”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up. It was an hour earlier in Chicago, so I called home.

“I may not be home tomorrow,” I said when Kara answered the phone.

Kara laughed softly, “What’s her name?”

“Tabitha. I made an error of judgment trying to avoid that outcome and walked right into it!”

“And?”

“We’ll see if she calls me before 10:00am tomorrow. I suspect she will.”

“Virgin ‘Steve type’?”

“Of course! One of Vickie’s dad’s flock, who evidence suggests is being paired off with a guy against her will.”

“I’ve seen that movie!” Kara laughed. “Actually, I starred in that movie!”

“I take it your luck held, Tiger?” Jessica asked.

“No idea, but I expect it will. Well, assuming she decides to go through with it?”

“What did you mean by an error in judgment?”

“Sheriff Emmy suggested Tabitha get to know me because Sheriff Emmy has the same basic opinion of Tim Saddler that I have of Kent van der Meer. She’s also a troublemaker, like so many other women I know!”

“You had a run-in with that pastor over Vickie,” Kara said.

“I did, but he didn’t bother me that much, and you know the end result.”

“Your first cop!” Jessica exclaimed.

“Exactly. So it was worth it! Anyway, when I stopped in to see Mike today at the hospital, I asked him about it. He, Emmy, and the Reynolds all had serious run-ins with the pastor. It developed because Emmy challenged me to try to get Tabitha, but I decided it was a bad idea.

“While I was talking to Lou, Emmy suggested to Tabitha that she get to know me. Tabitha approached me after my meeting, and I tried to deter her by being as «некультурный» as I could. That backfired badly. I’d meant to shock her to get her to not pursue me, because you know what happens when virgin girls try to get to know me.”

There was a brief pause, and I suspected my wives were concocting a response.

“They get expertly deflowered and have their brains fucked out!” Kara, Jessica, and Suzanne exclaimed in unison.

I laughed, “Pretty much. Well, it turns out that me declaring emphatically to Tabitha that if she tried to get to know me it would end in raw, animalistic, mattress-pounding, headboard-banging, multi-orgasmic fucking. She was clearly shocked, but later, she looked up my phone number in Lou’s Rolodex and called. I didn’t let up on being rude and blunt, and she never hung up. I told her if she wanted that, to call me before 10:00am tomorrow.”

“And you think she’ll call?” Jessica asked.

“This is Steve we’re talking about!” Suzanne tittered. “Of course she’ll call. And he’ll do exactly what he promised!”

“Actually,” Kara said thoughtfully, “he called because he’s not completely sure it’s a good idea.”

“That’s true,” I replied. “I spoke to Vickie, and I’m leaning towards fulfilling Tabitha’s request. But I’m still thinking about it.”

“In my opinion, it’s up to her if she wants to do it,” Kara said. “It’s not like it’s in the ‘heat of the moment’, and at that point, she has to take responsibility and deal with the ramifications of her decision.”

“She’s over eighteen, right?” Suzanne asked.

“She was working during the day on a school day, and Vickie said she’d been President of the Bible Club at Harding County High for four years, so I’m assuming she’s at least nineteen, but I’ll check. I’m positive she’s over the age of consent for Ohio, which is sixteen. But I won’t do it if she isn’t at least eighteen, because I don’t want her dad or her pastor to have any legal say of any kind.”

“That’s a good policy,” Jessica said.

“OK. I’m going to wait to see what happens. I’ll text all three of you if I’m not going to be home tomorrow afternoon.”

“Your daughter will be up in arms!” Suzanne observed.

“She’ll live,” I chuckled. “I’ll make it up with extra cuddles. I love all of you!”

“Love you, too!” each of my wives said, not quite in unison.

We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up. I wrote in my journal for another ten minutes, then put the computer away and headed to bed.

March 7, 2002, Greater Cincinnati, Ohio

“What time are you leaving, Uncle Steve?” Amelia asked at breakfast on Thursday.”

“Between 9:00am and 10:00am,” I said.

“When are you coming back?” Joseph asked.

“It’ll be in the Fall at the earliest, unless something comes up,” I said. “There’s a lot going on between now and September. How do you like your new iPod?”

“It’s awesome!”

“Oh, sure HE gets an iPod!” Amelia groused.

“When your fourteenth birthday rolls around, I’ll buy you an iPod, unless you can wheedle one out of your dad!”

“Oh, right, like THAT is going to happen!” she complained.

“Yes, yes, you’re tortured by having a dad like Jake and a mom like Joyce!”

Joyce laughed, “Kara tells me Birgit has complaints about Kara!”

“Of course she does! She’s a teenager! I’m sure she complains about me, too! It’s the way of the world!”

“Ignore Amelia,” Joseph said. “She thinks she’s a princess and demands to be spoiled! Fortunately, Mom and Dad don’t go for it!”

“And Joseph is the perfect example of a ‘dumb boy’!” Amelia declared.

I knew she and Birgit kept in touch by IM, so her comment did not surprise me in the least.

“Kids,” Jake warned. “That’s enough.”

“Yes, Dad,” Joseph replied.

“Yes, Dad,” Amelia said.

I suppressed a smirk, because if Joseph was a ‘dumb boy’ like me, the ‘luckiest dumb boy in history’, he was going to have a VERY exciting life! We finished breakfast, and I helped Joyce clean up while Jake got the kids off to school.

“We only have two,” Jake said, coming into the kitchen ten minutes later. “I don’t know how you do it with seven!”

“More like how do they do it with Steve!” Joyce teased.

“You aren’t the first one to say that,” I chuckled. “Both of your kids are wonderful and they’re fine young adults.”