Chapter 20: Licensed Driver

February 21, 2002, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Jesse

My mobile phone rang just after Kenzie arrived at my house early on Thursday evening. I didn’t recognize the number, so I had a very strong suspicion about who was calling.

“Go for Jesse!” I exclaimed.

“Jesse! It’s Francesca! I need your help!”

“Tell me where you are and I’ll call my uncle Pete, and the FBI will come to get you.”

“We’re at a Motel 6 in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. I can’t talk long because mom will be back almost right away.”

“Just stay there, if you can,” I said. “Don’t say anything, and don’t make any other calls, OK?”

“Thanks, Jesse!”

“Who was that?” Kenzie asked.

“My ex-girlfriend, who has the craziest mom on the planet. Her mom was going to lose custody, so she kidnapped Francesca.”

“Holy crap!”

“Yeah. I need to make a couple of calls, OK?”

“Of course!”

First I dialed Uncle Pete’s mobile number.

“Go for Carston!”

“It’s Jesse. I just heard from Francesca. She and her mom are in a Motel 6 in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. I told her to stay in the room and that you’d make sure the FBI came to get her.”

“Have you called anyone else?”

“No. Dad is flying back from Mayo right now, so I couldn’t talk to him, and your wife told me I didn’t need a lawyer. I will call Ms. Meyer, though, so she knows.”

“OK. Do not say anything to anyone because you don’t know who might want to help Francesca’s mom.”

“Nobody I know, that’s for sure! But got it!”

“Thanks, Jesse. You did a good thing. Carston, out!”

I pressed the red button to disconnect the call, then dialed Ms. Meyer’s number and let her know what had happened, and that my dad was in the air, so I couldn’t let him know. She thanked me, and then I disconnected the call, dialed my dad’s number, left a voicemail, then snapped my phone shut.

“All done,” I said.

“Is there anything I can do to help with dinner?”

“No. It’s basically ready. Just let me tell my moms what happened.”

I went to the kitchen and told Mom One and Mom Two about Francesca’s call and that I’d called Uncle Pete and Ms. Meyer. They agreed that Carol was just plain nuts and said dinner was ready, so I called Kenzie to come to the table.

🎤 Steve

When I got off the plane at Midway and turned on my phone, it showed two voicemail messages. The first was from Jesse and didn’t surprise me at all. The second message was from Leigh, confirming that all the pieces were in place for the wedding ceremony at the dojo on Saturday afternoon.

I only had my carry-on, so I quickly exited the terminal and walked to my BMW. The quickest way home was 55th Street, though it was rush hour, so traffic was heavy, especially where 55th Street met the Dan Ryan, but I still made decent time, arriving home just as the girls were leaving for the dojo. I kissed them all, and after they left, I took a quick shower, dressed, and headed to the coach house to talk to Jesse.

“He’s busy,” Jennifer smirked.

“Who is Miss Thursday?” I asked.

“Kenzie. She usually leaves around 9:00pm. If you’re wondering about Francesca, we haven’t heard anything. Jesse promised to let us know if Pete called back.”

“He left the message about ninety minutes ago, so I suspect that the FBI and the local LEOs are already there, probably surveilling, if they haven’t moved in. I can’t imagine they’d need SWAT or HRT.”

“As crazy as Carol is, are you SURE about that?”

“I remember a conversation with her when the kids were toddlers, and she freaked out that I would dare keep a gun in a house with kids.”

“People born and raised in Chicago are clueless about firearms,” Josie interjected. “Kids in my High School had gun racks in the pickup trucks. Nobody was shot. And nobody was freaked out by it.”

“Same with Milford,” Jennifer replied.

“City people who don’t understand how the real world works are exactly why our system was designed to limit their political power,” I said. “We’ve seen the havoc wreaked by Reynolds v Simms because we now have, in Illinois, the very system which caused the Founders to rebel against England — control by a distant, tone-deaf government solely interested in collecting tax revenues and using force to impose their will with no real representation.”

“Well, that quickly escalated into a rant!” Josie teased. “All of your kids are ‘city kids’.”

“Steve and all of us moms have successfully inoculated the kids against ‘city think’,” Jennifer observed. “Elyse went so far as to move to the burbs to get away from it.”

“It’s fast encroaching on where she lives,” I countered. “You used to be able to hold a meeting of the entire DuPage County Democratic Party in a phone booth. That’s no longer true — people flee the city then vote for the same failed policies that made them flee the city in the first place. Washington and Oregon could tell you about that. Those two states voted for Gerald Ford, for Pete’s sake! But then, by 1988, they flipped and voted for Dukakis. Other than the Johnson blowout, they were reliably Republican except for Washington in 1968. Now, so many people from California have moved there, they’re solidly in the Democratic camp. I can’t see Bush the Lesser winning either of those two in 2004.”

“So there’s no escape?”

“Not really. I mean, we could move to a solidly Republican state, but DC has so much power that it’s unconstitutionally stolen from the states that it doesn’t matter much. Fortunately for us, Illinois has a flat tax in the Constitution, so it’s not possible to ‘soak the rich’ without harming all taxpayers. That’s kept Springfield from going too crazy.”

My phone rang, and I pulled it from my pocket and saw ‘G-Man’ on the display.

“Hi, Pete,” I said.

“Hi, Steve. I tried Jesse but got his voicemail.”

“He’s entertaining,” I replied

Pete laughed, “Like father, like son!”

“You married Melanie Spencer, so you have NO room to complain!”

“Who said I was complaining? I’m just jealous!”

“Me, too!” I chuckled. “What’s the news?”

“The FBI and the local fugitive task force apprehended Carol Corday about twenty minutes ago. Francesca is safe, and is in protective custody, and as soon as they clear the local paperwork, she’ll be sent to Chicago. She’ll go to foster care until someone from DCFS interviews her and reports to Family Court. I’d guess a week, but Gwen can probably give you a better idea.”

“Thanks, Pete.”

“The US Federal Government, at your service!”

I laughed, “Don’t push it! I was just ranting about how much power the Feds have!”

“Of course you were. It’s your default MO! Talk to you later! Carston out.”

Knowing Pete had already disconnected the call, I didn’t respond and simply closed the phone and put it back in my pocket.

“Francesca is safe and in protective custody. Carol was ‘apprehended’, which I suspect means she’s been arrested and will be charged with kidnapping and interstate flight, and probably other things. That should be good for at least ten years in prison, though she’ll plea bargain, I’m sure.”

“I still don’t understand her,” Josie said, shaking her head. “I mean, she basically abandoned Frankie with Stan, divorced Stan, and after moving to Naperville, fled to Iowa. Then she pulled this stunt. She’s actually very likely mentally ill.”

“It’s possible,” I said. “At least with Carla, we all know what the problem is, and it has a solution that involves a bit of counseling, if she’d do it. I don’t think she’s mentally ill. Carol, on the other hand, when you add it all up, might well be.”

“So it’s your position that your magic dick will cure Carla?” Jennifer asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Not even close,” I replied. “In fact, that would do more harm than good. She needs a bit of counseling, then a healthy sexual relationship with someone on relatively the same page. She is NOT in the same league as Rachel or me. That said, I do have to thank you for acknowledging my magic dick!”

“Just keep it away from me!” Jennifer said with a wink and a smile.

“I love you far too much to even suggest it,” I said. “And the proof of our love is upstairs with his «fille du jour».”

“True! Anything new and interesting from Mary at Mayo?”

“Same-old, same-old,” I replied. “Diet, exercise, supplements, enough sleep, and low-doses of propranolol are keeping any symptoms at bay. The battery of tests is expanding, but Mary’s theory that there’s some minor genetic defect in my hypothalamus still seems to be the best answer.”

“And none of the kids have shown any signs, right?” Josie asked.

“None. They have more bloodwork from their check-ups than is typical for kids their age, but none of them shows any signs of hormonal imbalances; well, the teenagers, but that’s all part of adolescence. But, by getting baseline information, diagnosis in the future will be easier, assuming whatever it is was passed genetically. If it wasn’t, then there’s nothing to worry about.”

“But we’ll never know for sure, right?”

“Not until they develop some kind of test that can show what the defect or abnormality is, and even then, there likely won’t be a way to treat it directly. And remember, the negative effects are mild, but the positive ones contribute to running a successful business. Anyway, would you let the Duck know that his former paramour will be back in a week or so to reclaim her place at his side?”

“If she can get on his schedule!” Jennifer laughed.

“He’s not interested in getting back together with her,” Josie added.

“Oh, I’m aware,” I replied with a grin. “I’d wager she has a different outcome in mind.”

“Well, she’s going to have to take a number and get in line!” Jennifer said with a laugh. “He’s putting your antics to shame, but without the drama!”

“Francesca and Carol?”

“He never let it bother him beyond being upset that Carol purposefully broke them up. But he also didn’t spiral out of control and need to be bounced off the hood of a car for threatening to fuck a certain friend’s girlfriend into the next century.”

“I’m responsible for my actions, but I’m pretty sure we know the source of the problem. Anyway, I’m going back to the house. If Jesse needs anything, just have him come see me.”

I said ‘good night’ and headed back to the house where I checked my email and found nothing pressing, though while I had the computer on adium chimed for my attention.

HawaiianNoises: Aloha!
NIKASteve: Aloha!
HawaiianNoises: How are things?
NIKASteve: Good. Just had my quarterly checkup, and all is well. You?
HawaiianNoises: Great! College is challenging, but I love it!
NIKASteve: Cool! How is Kelii?
HawaiianNoises: Very happy! She has a steady boyfriend.
NIKASteve: Cool. And you?
HawaiianNoises: Dating, but nobody I want to take home to my dad just yet! How are your kids?
NIKASteve: Growing like weeds!
HawaiianNoises: Any plans to come to Hawaii soon?
NIKASteve: Sadly, no. I’m going to Sweden and Russia this Summer for my vacation.
HawaiianNoises: I need to stow away in your suitcase! That would be an awesome trip!
NIKASteve: It will be, for sure.
HawaiianNoises: My parents are going to the mainland in June and I could go with them.
NIKASteve: Where?
HawaiianNoises: San Francisco. My parents have friends there. Any chance you could be in San Francisco?
NIKASteve: Let me know the dates and if it works out, I could.
HawaiianNoises: June 16 to June 22.
NIKASteve: And your parents will be OK with you seeing me?
HawaiianNoises: I’m nineteen, so it’s not really their business! I’d have my own room, so they won’t know where I’m actually sleeping! Or not sleeping!
NIKASteve: I’ve marked it on the calendar. Not sure I can take a full week, but probably at least a couple of days.”
HawaiianNoises: Cool! I have some friends there, too, so I’ll have other stuff to do.
NIKASteve: Awesome!
HawaiianNoises: Cool. Time to do homework! CU!
NIKASteve: Later!

I was just about to shut down when adium alerted me to another message.

Etheldred: Up for a visitor?
NIKASteve: I could be!
Etheldred: You better be! 😛
NIKASteve: Is that an offer?
Etheldred: Hell yeah, if you’re offering the same in return!
NIKASteve: I could be persuaded! 😈
Etheldred: Spring Break is the week before Easter and I’d rather have a sure thing than head to Florida and be disappointed!
NIKASteve: I’ll do my best not to disappoint! I’ll have some time off that week.
Etheldred: Cool. I already IM’d Suzanne and she and her friends will be around, so I’ll have other entertainment!
NIKASteve: Just let me know your plans.
Etheldred: Will do! Gotta do homework so I can go out tomorrow!
NIKASteve: OK.
Etheldred: Bye!
NIKASteve: Bye!

February 22, 2002, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Jesse

“Happy birthday, Jesse!” my moms exclaimed when I came down for breakfast on Friday morning.

“Thanks.”

“Do you have your plans set with your dad?”

“Yes. He’s picking me up from school, and we’re going to the Secretary of State’s office. By the time you get home, I’ll have my complete freedom!”

My moms both laughed.

“As if you can’t basically do whatever you want now!” Mom One said, shaking her head.

“I’m at the mercy of L, bus, and train schedules!”

“And you’re at the mercy of your dad letting you take the BMW!”

“He loves me!” I declared.

“Did he tell you how much your insurance costs?” Mom Two asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “But I do get a discount for having straight A’s.”

“I don’t even want to know what the insurance will look like when there are seven teenagers!” Mom One said.

“Well, I think two of them are Aunt Elyse’s problem,” I replied. “Dad just has to pay for five!”

“Is everything set for your party?”

“Yes. The gang will arrive at 7:00pm for the party, so there’s enough time for our family dinner and cake.”

“Who’s your date?”

“Nobody. Most of the girls will be here, so it didn’t seem right to have a date.”

“How long will this «fille du jour» situation, as your dad called it, last?” Mom Two asked.

I shrugged, “It’s up to the girls, really.”

“So, just like your dad, then?” Mom One asked with a smirk.

“No, because I don’t have girls like you and Melanie bringing me girls!”

“Your dad had quite a few that approached him because of what other girls said.”

“Well, I am NOT going to get anywhere close to his numbers!”

“He didn’t manage the entire softball team!” Mom One teased.

I laughed, “I seriously doubt that’s going to happen. CeCe agrees with me. She’s betting they don’t actually go through with it.”

“And would you do that?”

I shrugged, “I haven’t decided, but I don’t think I have to. I tend to agree with Dad that until there’s actually a decision to make, any answer you give is provisional, and you’ll have to decide again when it happens. Well, I suppose I could say ‘no’ now, but I don’t want to.”

“Of course you don’t!” Mom Two said, shaking her head. “You’re following the rules, right?”

“Yes. That was what caused the delay, so to speak.”

“Just be smart, Jesse,” Mom Two said.

“I will,” I replied.

🎤 Steve

“Any changes with Braun?” I asked Liz when I walked into her office on Friday morning.

“Not on the legal front. Cindi believes Braun is shopping for venture capital.”

“Good luck with THAT!” I said, shaking my head. “A market where they’re the fourth player, and behind by a long way, with no real hope of moving up the league table, as it were. I can’t see anyone investing capital in this market for any reason. The amount of money you’d need to spend just to compete would be tremendous. If someone wanted in, they’d buy us, Hastings Mill, or Chickasaw.”

“What about whoever it was who was kicking our tires?”

“It’s possible, but that would be a buyout, not venture capital. I honestly think Braun the Elder has run out of money to throw after everything he’s wasted, and now Braun the Younger is flailing, trying to find a way to survive. None of the big three are going to agree to any deal where he remains involved. I say, then, good luck to Braun, and I hope he enjoys being blindsided by my little sister in bankruptcy court.”

“How was Mayo?”

“No changes, either way, so same routine as I’ve been following.”

“Given the circumstances, I’d say that’s good news.”

“No changes for the worse, for the rest of my life, would be just fine with me. I’m going to try to get some work done before lunch.”

“That’s right! Today is Jesse’s big day!”

“It is. I also have a lunch meeting, so it’s basically a half-day. But we’re in good shape with the Managed Services offerings. See you later.”

I left Liz’s office and went to mine, and sat down at my desk. I managed to do four uninterrupted hours of work before heading to a diner in Bridgeport to meet Dayna’s friend, Zoë. She was easily recognizable from Kara’s general description — shoulder-length blonde hair with blue eyes, a red sweater covering large breasts, and her face showing signs of the ‘Freshmen Fifteen’ that Kara had mentioned. I walked over to the booth where she was waiting.

“You must be Zoë,” I said.

“Then you must be Steve,” she replied. “Sit!”

“Yes, Ma’am!” I chuckled as I sat down across from her.

“Sorry, I’m not very good with people.”

“That, like any other skill, can be learned, if you want to learn it.”

“I suppose.”

“For someone who scored 1580 on her SAT and 35 on her ACT, had a 4.0 GPA in High School, and was class valedictorian, I’d say it’s doable. If you can master high-energy physics, you can master the basics of interpersonal relations.”

“What are the criteria?”

“For?”

“Your decision if you want to fuck me or not?”

“Direct and to the point,” I replied with a soft smile. “I might ask you the same question. As well as why you want me to fuck you.”

“Why? I’m nineteen and tired of being a virgin. I don’t want some drunken frat boy and as I said, I’m not good with people, so I asked Dayna for advice. She suggested you and I talked to your wife, which was weird. Both of them were positive I’d be comfortable with you and that you’d be willing to fuck me if I wanted you to. So, here I am, seeing if you’re willing.”