Chapter 1

“So you want to know when it all started?” I asked the man on the phone. His breathing was deep, slow. I could tell he was excited, almost restless. As he muttered yes, I could hear over the line the sound of a zipper being pulled down. I should have felt disgust. Here I was offering a confessional on how I was raped as a teen, just a few years ago, and this man or monster, or something in-between, was going to jerk off to it. I wanted to puke. I felt myself grow wet.

“It was a normal thing, at first at least,” I told him. “Alex was just a classmate, a bit older than me, one of the bad boys. He smoked, had an old hot rod. It was run down, but still good looking. He was gruff as fuck, but had an air of danger to him.” I heard him mutter an uh-huh and I could hear a slow pumping of a slick hand in the background. He wasn’t wasting time.

“Anyway, he wasn’t like most of the guys I had encountered. They were mostly nice guys or postured and preened. He didn’t act. Not like that. He was a blunt asshole but it was honest if aggressive. I had been hurrying down the halls one day and I had just rounded the corner and ran into him, knocking his drink and books to the floor. His eyes just flashed and he shoved me hard into the lockers and yelled at me.

“Watch out where you’re going you stupid bitch!” he had said to me. I just barely stammered out an “I’m sorry” as he leaned in, sneering. “Yeah right you’re fucking sorry,” right in my face, and then he’d walked off. I was left there, shaking. No man had ever shoved me like that, or talked down to me like that. Oh some had catcalled or talked big, but his words were seething and I could taste them. I was scared. And I was wet. Blushing I ran off to class.”

“Was that the first time you realized you might be broken inside cunt?” the man on the line asked. The thump thump thump of him jacking off was even more clearly audible now.

“No Sir,” I said meekly. “It’s the first time I had ... responded to something like that, perhaps. But broken? No. Even now, I don’t think I’m broken. I just have different ... needs,” I told him.

“Whatever you need to think cunt. Go on,” he ordered me.

I bit my lip and did as told. “So, after that, I was intrigued by him. Here I was, a straight A clean cut student and he was anything but. I made a point to try to say hi to him the next time I saw him. To apologize, or so I told myself. I saw him a couple days later and walked up to him, heart hammering.”

“Hey, I just wanted to apologize again about bumping into you,” I managed to stammer. I didn’t get an immediate response. Instead he just glowered at me.

“Do you really think I give a fuck you stupid bitch?” he told me. Then he just shouldered into me and I stumbled out of his way. I was left in the hallway aghast. My stomach had dropped and I felt sick. He’d just disregarded me like I was nothing, a pest. Not worth his time. Now, I wasn’t a mousy nerd, I was quite fit and good looking. I prided myself on my appearance almost as much as I did my schoolwork and his treatment of me infuriated me and confused and hurt me. I felt rejected, which was silly since I hadn’t been seeking his approval. But now, frustratingly enough, part of me did.

“You needed a real man’s validation, so you could feel good, right cunt?” he said on the phone, almost cruelly. Still pumping away.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Yes, I think in some twisted way,” I told him. “Couple days pass, and I’m confused and angry and had been stewing about it. Friday comes and I see him in the parking lot. He was with a couple friends, smoking and leaning on his car. I went up to him and again, that evil glare. I should have heeded it but I didn’t. Instead, I walked up to him and did my “dramatic” nagging. I told him I didn’t appreciate him talking to me like he had, calling me bitch, not accepting my apology. I felt so proud for telling him off and when I was done, he still had that stare.”

My voice begins to tremble now, nervous and ashamed.

“At first he did nothing, then all of a sudden he turned on me, invading my personal space so much that I felt pressed against his car. His eyes scared me.”

“Bitch, don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that you understand?” he said, as he firmly gripped my chin. His body was almost touching mine he was so close. “Do you understand me bitch?” he yelled at me, gripping my chin tighter. I nodded meekly, all the defiance having left me.

“Yes,” was all I said. He sniffed me, almost like an animal, touching me now.

“Are you scared of me bitch,” he said. A bit of spittle hit my face. I nodded. Then he grabbed up my skirt, pressing me against his car, covering my mouth. I sobbed as I felt his fingers probe against my panties, finding them wet. I was frozen otherwise, a deer caught in his headlights. “You’re wet bitch,” he said, pressing his finger against the fabric. I cried and moaned both, his friends watching transfixed. Then he stepped back, pulling his finger away, wiping it on my cheek. I could barely breathe even with his hand removed, in complete shock.

“Never been put in your place?” he asked as he opened his passenger door. I shrugged, shaking, and he told me to get in. I hesitated and he grabbed my wrist painfully. “I said get the fuck in bitch. Don’t you fucking make me ask twice.” I got in. I think my life today would have been different if I had said no.

“You’re probably right there cunt,” the man said, still jerking away on the phone. “But it really was never a choice was it?” I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t want to admit the answer to myself, even now. But we both knew the truth.

“No,” I admitted.

I rubbed my wrist as I sat in the car and one of his friends sat down beside me. He then locked the door and slammed it shut, making me jerk and his friend to snicker. He then let his other friend in on his side and hopped in, quickly getting the car in gear and driving off. I looked over at him, very scared.

“Please, I really need to go,” was all I got out before being interrupted by him.

“Shut the everlasting fuck up you stupid bitch,” he said. “No one is speaking to you so I don’t want to hear a fucking thing from you. Do you get that through your stupid head?” he literally screamed at me.

I cowered, eyes wide in fear. His friend behind me said something about just relaxing and then reached from behind and groped my chest through my blouse. I gasped at that and started to pull at his hands when Alex gave me that look of violence again.

“He said relax bitch. Here, this will help. Fucking swallow them,” he said as he handed me a couple pills. The look told me everything I needed to know and I, to my shame, dry swallowed them and cried softly as his friend pawed at my chest, mashing my breasts. I simply took it, crying harder as he unbuttoned me a bit more clumsily and reached in, pulling my 36C’s out, only my plaid bra covering me. Strangely, I was calmer, likely from whatever the pills were, making me feel slow and sluggish. That’s when Alex leaned over to “explain” things to me.

“Ok bitch, we’re all going to have fun, well 3 of us anyway. You can act all the prissy bitch but we both know you’re just a wet cunt that’s terrified of me. You’ll be even more fucking terrified of me after today. But you’ll know your fucking place at least. Now take off your fucking bra,” he told me, as simply as if he had asked me to roll down the window. I didn’t, only crying more until he slapped me. That made me jerk and when he pulled back his hand again, I flinched and told him I would. Then, under his glare and scary smile, I pulled off my bra, my blouse open and my breasts hanging out. His friends cheered and one groped me while the other pinched at my nipples and the side of my breasts.