Chapter 4: The Pain of Being Handsome

AS ARIANE might be recognized when we returned to Knossos, I took the time to work a transformation on her as well. Mostly I just made her appear younger and changed her hair color. There’d been a blonde among the village girls we both liked a lot, so I gave her blonde hair and big tits. She made me trim them down a little so she could walk without falling over forward, but she was still a fine-looking woman and a suitable companion to my Adonis image.

We made our plans and set a date to return to Knossos. First, we needed to fully explore and appreciate our new bodies. Ariane said she missed my horns because they gave her something to grab onto when I was pounding into her. I kind of missed the old Ariane, but I latched onto her boobs and started sucking away. Her frame wasn’t much different than the old Ariane. She was still short by my standards, but she was a lot more flexible. So was I. We could kiss while we fucked. And she’d made sure I didn’t alter my man-meat. She was still claiming I was killing her when I came in her tight little hole, but then she’d ask for more.

“You’re okay just being called Bob,” she said to me as we were ready to leave. “I can’t go claiming to be Ariane, though. Aside from the hair and the boobs, I’m about the same as I was a few years ago. You should call me Aria. I’ve always liked the sound of that.”

It was agreed and we left.

DURING OUR sojourn in the mountains, we’d acquired quite a wagonload of skins, pottery, dried fruits, and smoked meats, which I pulled down the street to Pinaruti’s house. I was mumbling the spell that would take the seal off the door.

“Be careful there,” Basarti from next door said. “Some demon put a spell on that place and no one can get in.”

“I have a key,” I said. Aria snickered as Basarti cast a puzzled look at his former wife.

I pushed the door open and there was a swoosh of stale air as we went inside.

“I need to air it out,” Aria said as she rushed to the windows and opened the wooden shutters. Once the door to the courtyard was open, a hot breeze began to flow through the house, lifting the odors of rotted food and dried herbs.

“There’s a bin in the back we can dump the old food into,” I said. “You do that while I empty our cart.”

There were already street urchins poking their fingers into my cart and I chased them all away, reminding them there could still be a demon in the house. The skins, pottery, grain, and dried meat were all soon inside and Aria efficiently put them away.

“What a huge bed!” she exclaimed. “Has it ever been used?”

“I don’t think so. Pinaruti seems to have had all his fantasies on the rooftop, looking at the neighbor’s ... um ... you.”

“I always knew he was up there. I made sure the girls paraded around naked, or that I was in the bath when he needed relief. It seemed like a neighborly thing to do—as long as I didn’t have to touch him,” Aria said. “Let’s try it out and see if it is as comfortable as it looks.” With a quick flourish, she stripped off the dress she’d traded for at the village, and we jumped on the bed and on each other.

Aria and I always seemed about a heartbeat away from having sex. It was a good life.

OF COURSE, word of my arrival spread rapidly and it wasn’t long before King Drakomaxos came pounding on my door—this time with his army of a dozen thugs behind him. After my previous appearance in Knossos, things had improved for Drakomaxos. He’d acquired the kingdom next door. This was done by the simple expedient of having his soldiers kill or capture the soldiers from the neighboring kingdom who had joined them in chasing after me. As soon as they were out of the way, he marched over ten streets and captured the former king, claiming the kingdom his by right of having fought off the invading army. His third wife was the daughter of said king.

“The former owner of this property left without paying his taxes,” Drakomaxos announced imperiously. “If you are his heir and are to enjoy the protection of our royal state, you must pay up the back taxes. Are you a magus?”

All the time, the king was trying to get a good look into the house around me. Word that I had an extraordinarily beautiful wife had circulated as fast as word that I was extraordinarily handsome. There were always people—men and women both—making long detours past our house to try to get a glimpse of Aria or me.

“No. I’m not a mage,” I said. If I admitted to having magic, my peaceful life would be over and there would be a non-stop flow of people wanting warts healed. “I’m something better.”

“Better than a mage? See here now. I’m the king. You can get no better than that!”

“No. But I’m an architect. That may not be as good as a king, but it’s far better than a mage. I build things.”

“What kind of things can you build?”

“Well, have you noticed how hot it is here all the time? I know the secret to building a house—no, let us call it a palace—that stays cool all year round.”

“You can do that? I command you to build me such a palace!”

“Oh, gentle my Lord, your Kingship, Sir. I will provide the knowhow and the plans because I owe you this tax. However, you must provide the place for the palace to be built, the materials, and the labor. A man has to live, you know.”

“I have a kingdom. I will put everyone to work. What materials do I need?” Drako was getting enthused and wasn’t thinking straight. If everyone in the kingdom worked at building his palace then everyone would soon be naked and starving. But I continued to lay out the plans.

“Stones,” I said. He looked at me blankly. “Each stone must be cut from the quarry bed at exactly a cubit square. The laborers must bring the stones to your building site and place them as I direct. You, oh, mighty King Drakomaxos, will have a palace envied by all other kings.”

That was really all it took. Drakomaxos was sold on the idea. He fretted about how he would pay for labor.

“I will raid the next kingdom and acquire slaves to do the labor,” he stated boldly.

“Your Majesty,” I said sadly. “It is well known in the mountain kingdom from which I come that a house built by slaves will one day collapse on its owner. Labor must be cared for and paid.”

“How can I pay for such labor?”

“Let us start small. Find me six strong men and promise them one of your coins for every hand of days they work.” Drako had established a kind of currency he called a coin that had his image stamped on a disk of metal. It looked sort of like his image. If you turned the coin upside down, it looked rather like a horse’s ass.

When Drako had drafted six laborers who agreed to his terms, they joined me at the site outside of town I’d identified as appropriate to cut the sandstone for the palace. The very first day they cut into the rock, they uncovered a seam of gold in the stone. This, they mined, enabling Drakomaxos to pay for workers and to buy the land for his palace. He even managed to talk a couple of neighboring kings out of their kingdoms without having to invade. Amazing what a little gold will do. And I was reasonably certain the spell I’d cast on it would keep it gold for at least twenty years before turned into sandstone again. Drakomaxos forged it into little disks and stamped his image on it. The Drako became the common currency for all of Knossos.

I didn’t want to do a lot of work myself, which is why I agreed only to supervise. That light little job, however, was rife with difficulties. I needed to supervise the cutting of the stones, the clearing and prep of the palace site, the payment of workers, and the actual construction of the palace. And labor troubles ... Bah! The stones were heavy. The weather was hot. The days were long. None of that was my fault, but I had to deal with the problems.

I did do a couple of things that I thought up myself. For example, I built a couple of sleds for moving the sandstone from the quarry to the palace site. I cast a spell on them so that no matter what was put on the sled, it would weigh no more and be no harder to pull than when empty. I dug a pool near the quarry and filled it with water. Three times a day, I gave all the workers a break to go take a dip in the water. That kept them cooler and generally happier.

It didn’t make the cutting and lifting of stones any lighter or the work any easier, but the laborers seemed to be happier. Especially, when they were paid in Drakos. I revised my timing, promising to be done in ten years instead of twenty. I didn’t want to be around when gold started turning to sandstone. And I didn’t want to risk having my body change back to its natural form before I was someplace safe.

MY BODY—and Aria’s—was creating enough problems for me. I got home one evening to find three naked beauties kneeling on the floor next to my bed. Aria simply fed me and chatted about the day, while totally ignoring them.

“Aria, dear, what are they doing here?” I asked, gesturing to the naked ladies.

“Oh. They just showed up today, totally starstruck. They were taking lunches to the laborers at the quarry today, hoping to attract one of the strong young men as a mate. Apparently, a ‘godlike man’ rose up out of the water in the pool and dried himself in the sun. They were all so struck by his beauty that they sought out his home to offer themselves to him. Did you have a swim today, love?”

“Um ... I might have. It was a terribly hot day.”

“Well, it was not unnoticed. Maybe this body wasn’t the very best choice. Do you know what I saw last night?” Aria asked, still ignoring the nymphs by the bed. “That little slut Nimia who married my former husband was up on her roof last night, watching us make love in the courtyard. From what I saw, she has probably rubbed her nubbin raw.”

“Oh, dear. I really don’t want any problems with Basarti.”

“Of course not. But the house is getting a little small, don’t you think? Where there are now three little sluts waiting by our bed, I’m sure in time there will be six or ten or a hundred. Where will we put them all?”

“Do we really need that many?” I could see no end of problems with a harem of women wanting a little more room, a private well, a pool, or what have you. I was sure Drakomaxos would not look kindly on it, either.

“How can I turn them away when they’ve seen you, my handsome husband? We would have a houseful of men as well, if they hadn’t all seen you swimming. They’ve given up on me because they are unable to compete.”

“We really can’t have a houseful of men,” I sighed. “Not that I would object to one or two if you need them to keep you satisfied. I know you enjoyed Great Zeus when he visited.”

“Yes, but there is not a man in Knossos who could compete with god or demon. I know that no matter how many of these young beauties you fuck, you will still have a solid pole to satisfy your Aria.”