Chapter 1

To say today had been a bad day for Jeremy Bayer was an understatement.

It all started off pretty okay when he woke up and was able to reach the shower before his twin sisters stole it and all the hot water. But things had started to go downhill when he turned on the faucet and instead of nice, warm water pouring onto his head, Jeremy had faced a low groaning noise, then a tepid splort of something brackish and black and grimy.

“Great,” Jeremy said, quietly, before turning the shower off.

That wasn’t the only thing wrong with the plumbing.

With a flashlight caught between his teeth and his feet sticking out into the kitchen while his mom tried to cook breakfast for him and his sisters while packing herself up for her early morning shift, Jeremy had found the pipes that the half-mad, half-insane, half-malicious people who had built the cheap ass house that his deadbeat father had bought for the family before he’d fucking bounced and vanished into Las Vegas ... were busted. Not only were they busted, they were growing something. Not only were they busted and growing something, but somehow, the showers and the faucets on the sink were both managing to break due to the exact same problem.

Jeremy had filed this away for something to deal with after his second afterschool job just in time to smell the scent of something burning.

“Shit!” Mom hissed. “Uh, honey, your ... toast...”

The taste of the carbon char that was his breakfast hung around for the rest of Jeremy’s morning, despite several shots at trying to wash it out with a stop at a few drinking fountains at school. It was at one of those fountains that his day got perceptibly worse by about one loosened tooth and a bloody nose because Morgan B. Clark decided that he was going to express his dissatisfaction at Jeremy’s hard work by clocking him in the face with one meaty knuckle.

“Listen, Beyer!” Morgan snarled at Jeremy as he shoved him against the lockers and a few of the girls who were walking past tittered and took pictures on their phones for Twitter or TikTok or the websites that were for people who didn’t still use a 2009 Nokia flip phone. “I got a fucking C+.”

“Have you tried studying more?” Jeremy asked, his voice a bit dazed.

Right. Wrong question.

Morgan proved this by punching him in the stomach and leaving Jeremy wheezing. Morgan stepped backwards just enough to give some plausible deniability as a teacher cruised by and glanced at them before continuing to wherever the fuck he was going. Once the teacher was gone, Morgan pushed Jeremy back upright and glared at him.

“Remember, Bayer, I don’t got time to read fucking Dances with Wolves or whatever,” Morgan said. “I got shit to do. And if you don’t want some of that shit to be kicking in your ... shit, then, you’ll get me better than a fucking C+. Got it?”

Jeremy knew that saying anything but ‘Sure, Morgan, whatever you say, Morgan’ would just get him another bruise. So, he nodded, and said: “Sure, Morgan. Whatever you say, Morgan.”

Morgan nodded.

Then he punched him the stomach again.

Jeremy wheezed, fell to one knee, and gasped as Morgan leaned forward and whispered. “And tell your sisters to buy bigger condoms next time.”

And he was off.

“Great. Yeah. Needed to know that you’re fucking my sisters.” Jeremy whispered, rubbing his stomach as he glanced up. The girls who were tittering and whispering to one another were leaving – clearly, happy that the show was over. Oh, wait, no, they were being scared off by the frowning expression of Cindi Fong, the head of the cheer team and prettiest girl in school. Cindi’s frown swept from them to him and went from a fierce ‘come on, ladies’ frown to a pitying look that ... honestly, Jeremy was okay with.

Pity was better than the alternatives!

Mind numbing tedium for classes ... followed by arriving at the cafeteria just in time for them to run out of the pepperoni pizza rectangles that tasted like cardboard, leaving Jeremy with nothing but the cheese pizza rectangles that tasted like boring cardboard ... followed by mind numbing tedium for classes ... followed by finding that his P.E shorts had been ripped right along the ass and he was going to have to pay for their replacements...

And, as the final bell rang, his crappy phone buzzed and Jeremy managed to flip it out while juggling his backpack and his textbooks, and found that his manager for the local branch of the Crazy Nick’s Wing Dump needed him to take an extra shift. You know.

If he could.

Jeremy Bayer quietly closed his phone. Set his textbooks back into his locker. Slung his backpack down. Then he quietly put his head against the locker, closed his eyes, and contemplated returning to monkey. Just ... forcibly de-evolving himself into a chimpanzee and running off to the local woods.

Knowing your luck, he thought. You will immediately be killed by the current alpha of the local chimp pack.

“Do chimps have packs?” he whispered, before starting to cram the books into his backpack. He’d have to run to make it to the bus to reach Crazy Nick’s on time. And if he didn’t reach Crazy Nick’s, he’d be fired. If he was fired, then he’d lose the paycheck. If the family lost the paycheck, then his Mom wouldn’t be able to pay for the house. If they weren’t able to pay for the house, they’d all die on the street!

Jeremy took one step from the locker and heard the unmistakable RRRRRRIP of his second hand backpack’s nylon deciding that twenty pounds of textbooks was just too much to deal with and giving up the ghost.

“Great,” Jeremy whispered.

With his books in his arms and his backpack flopping off his back, Jeremy arrived at the bus stop just in time for the bus to cruise away, groaning and creaking as it headed away from the suburbs and towards downtown, where his job was.

“Great,” Jeremy wheezed.

The shortcut that Jeremy tried to take between the bus station and Crazy Nick’s required cutting through the finger of forest that had survived the centuries of infill and suburbanization that had consumed this portion of Washington. The rains from earlier in the month had left the loam thick, and the mud plentiful. This was why his legs swept out from under him as he tried to cut across a narrow defile and Jeremy felt the thick, gloppy stuff cushion his fall and skid alllllllllllllllllllll the way down to the bottom of the defile.

“Great!” Jeremy groaned, laying on his side.

That was when his eyes processed that he had come down within spitting distance of a pair of huge Army Surplus boots. The boots contained tree-trunk thick ankles, which were attached to meaty calves, which were attached to muscular thighs barely shrouded by some heavy duty jeans. Those thighs attached to hips, which supported a triangular mass of muscular flesh that, itself, was contained within a leather jacket, with long arms that were tipped by finger-less gloves that, themselves, were wrapped around sausage thick fingers and broad palms.

The teriminus of Jeremy’s slow pan up along this figure, was a bald head that looked recently shaved, with a bulldog face, ruddy red features, and large sunglasses that screamed ‘I am a pedophile, undercover cop, or FBI agent’ to the air. Just, pure shadiness. Shady sunglasses. Hah. Jeremy would have laughed, if he hadn’t noticed that the man was holding a fucking machete in his meaty palm.

“Great,” Jeremy whispered.

“Leave,” the man growled. Jeremy rolled onto his back, ignoring his lost textbooks, and scrambled backwards. The man glared at him through those sunglasses – but the instant that Jeremy was out of his immediate reach, he turned back to what he was doing, which was...

Advancing towards five eggs.

The eggs each seemed to be about the size Jeremy’s head – meaning they were the biggest eggs that Jeremy had ever seen in his entire life – and each one was a different color. One was bright coppery-bronzey and it was nestled up against an egg that was nearly the same color as the sky in the two, three days of the year where it wasn’t gray and raining. Next to that egg was an egg that was even redder than Mr. Machete’s head (and considerably more attractive, all things considered), while the next two eggs were both shining metallic colors: Silver for the first and ... a kind of glossy black with silver highlights along the pebbly surface.

The man lifted his machete.

Jeremy Bayer was not vegan. He liked red meat. He enjoyed omelets. He had never ridden a horse, but if he had been given the chance to do so, he was pretty sure he’d have at least wanted to try it. But even so, there was a big part of him that had a whole lot of unease around the ways humanity had been ... really kind of shitty to animals. Part of that was inculcated by an early life exposure to images of a chicken factory farm by one of the more eager to traumatize PETA members that had ambushed him on the way to elementary school. Part of that was just an innate sense of justice. Humans were sentient. Had fingers. Thumbs. Guns. Nuclear bombs. Like, if one side had atomic bombs and the other side was ‘a cow’, then it was kind of incumbent for the guys with nukes to be nice to the cows.

When Jeremy had tried to explain this idea to his fellow classmates, he’d been laughed at.

Right now, after the day he’d had, Jeremy didn’t want to explain shit.

He just saw a man, about to mercilessly smash up some random eggs for no good reason, and he thought...

Fuck this.

Jeremy grabbed his Biology textbook – a meaty four hundred page snoozer that could be used to anchor boats – off the muddy ground where he had dropped it ... and he threw it directly at Mr. Machete’s head. The book was not exactly on par with a throwing spear or boomerang or one of those throwing stars that ninjas used.

But on the other hand, Mr. Machete was pretty damn close.

And his head was pretty damn big.

The book thunked into the back of Mr. Machete’s head and he stumbled forward, his machete flashing wildly as he fell forward. “Ow!” He grunted as Jeremy scrambled to his feet. He grabbed up a hunk of mud and threw it directly into Mr. Machete’s face as the dude swung around. This forced Mr. Machete to scrabble at his eyes as Jeremy snatched up his math textbook – which was even bigger and even more boring than Bio, if you could believe it – and smashed it into Mr. Machete’s face as hard as he could.

Something crunched and Mr. Machete sprawled onto his back, dropping his namesake as he splatted onto the mud.

Jeremy stood, panting, above the prone figure, then swung his tattered backpack around. He crammed each egg inside of the backpack, clutched it to his chest, and began to run as, behind him, Mr. Machete groaned and reached towards his broken nose.

“Great, great, great, great!” Jeremy hissed with every footstep, his face streaming with sweat. “Great!”

Jeremy’s house was a single story building with a chain link fence that surrounded the saddest backyard in the history of backyards – a few bits of concrete that might have once been a pool before it had been filled in, surrounded by crabgrass and dandelions and other examples of horticultural neglect – but it did have one advantage: It was easy to sneak in through the back. Jeremy got over his fence, then into his room in two scrambles and one wriggle, and once the window was closed behind him, he was able to set his eggs down on the bed, then sit down in the chair that sat before his writing desk. He didn’t even have a computer.

He sprawled there, and turned his phone off before his manager could bitch him out and fire him.

“Well, Jeremy, you did it,” he said, quietly. “You saved some...” He paused. “Eggs.”

The eggs, laid out on his bed, on the ruins of his backpack, were still the oddest thing he had ever seen. His brow furrowed as he looked at them a second time. They had seemed as big as his head when he had seen them in the forest, but they had all fit inside of his backpack and been easily carried in his arms. But now, they were back to being head sized ... which ... he flashed on the meme of ‘I can’t hold all these limes!’ He should have been the I can’t hold all these limes guy, right?

Instead, the eggs had fit easily in his backpack. And his arms.

One upside about everyone in his family working was that he was completely alone in the house when the first egg cracked. This was good, because Jeremy’s reaction was to jerk up in his chair, flail his arms, and hiss: “SHIT!”

The red egg in question wobbled, then cracked louder. More black webs began to spread along from the top of the egg and Jeremy sprang to his feet, not sure if he should rush towards it or if he should sprint out of the room. He had no idea what animal could be born from a red egg that was the size of his head, but he was pretty sure that most birds that size were things like ... cassowaries. And he was pretty sure humanity had fought a war against those things with machine guns and still managed to fucking lose.

Crack!

The top of the egg popped off, as a tiny red snout shoved against it. Lizardish, not birdlike. Okay. Great! This was great.

Crack!

The remaining egg exploded apart and Jeremy Bayer gaped as he beheld the dragon.

Normally, Jeremy might have tried to think of a different term for the animal. But there was no denying the evidence of his eyes. There was no escaping the facts before him. The critter on his bed, soaking his sheets with egg juices, was a dragon. It was a kitten sized lizard creature with two forelegs and two hindlegs and wings and a tail and a sleek, inquisitive looking head. It had red scales and bright coppery-red eyes with slit black pupils that narrowed as it looked him over. Nictitating membranes flicked over those eyes, then swept away as the dragon eyed him.

“Great,” Jeremy whispered.

The dragon sneezed out a tiny jolt of flame, which blazed along his sheets and left a scorch mark and a few glittering red flares of a catching fire.

“GREAT!” Jeremy slapped at the sheets to put the embers out before they caught. “Great, great, great!”

The dragon let out a hiss, clearly upset to see its handiwork destroyed, then looked around the room again, then...

Spoke.

Clearly.

In a feminine, human sounding voice. A voice that Jeremy would peg as ‘second or third ranked on the cheer team and really annoyed about everything’, if he was in the state of mind to peg a dragon’s voice at anything.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to make do. But seriously, not even a single gold coin?” The dragon huffed, then spread her wings, then settled them as she sat back on her haunches. “At least you’re cute. If a bit twiggy.” She cocked her head. “Take off your pants.”

Jeremy gaped at the tiny dragon.

“What?” he asked.

“Hmm, not very bright,” she grumbled. “Take off your pants.”

“WHAT!?”

“Oh, are you deaf or something, Protector?” the dragon hissed, then stuck her tongue into the air, before retracting it. “Take off. Your. Pants. Gods! If I have to repeat myself each time I make a request, then I may have to risk the Hunters.” She shook her head as Jeremy put his hands on his head and tugged at his hair.

“You’re a dragon!” he said. “A talking fucking dragon!”

The dragon looked increasingly unamused. “Of course I’m a dragon, Protector. What did ... you ... what, did you attack a Hunter just for some random eggs? You had to know what you were getting into. Now!” She opened her mouth and a jolt of flame shot from her muzzle. It swept through the air and slapped into Jeremy’s pant-leg. The jeans didn’t quite catch, but the heat of her made Jeremy jump, jerk backwards, and shove at his pants all at once. He almost fell over, hopped on one leg, and kicked and then was standing, pantsless, before the dragon.

“Uuugh!” she groaned. “Take that stupid underthing off too.”

Jeremy scowled at her, then threw his jeans over her head. It just seemed like a thing to do. The dragon yelped, and wriggled, and Jeremy realized he had only a few seconds to capitalize on the tiny dragon being wrapped up and entangled. He snatched up some spare rubber bands from his desk, then sprang forward.

The dragon stuck her head from a pant-leg, hissing, and opening her mouth...

And Jeremy snapped the rubber band around her muzzle, so that her teeth clicked together. Smoke jetted from her nostrils and the dragon tried to wriggle her forepaws free, to shove at the rubber band. But Jeremy was faster. His hand closed around the pant leg, trapping her arms and her wings in the jeans as he held her up and glared at her.

“Don’t. Do. That. Again.”

Jeremy had never said anything that forcefully before in his life. He didn’t know if it was because he was out of fucks, this situation being far too fucky for any fucks to be left for him to have, or if it was because he had never spoken to a critter that was the size of a kitten before. But he managed each word with a growing intensity that shocked even him.

It shocked the dragon too. She stopped squirming and squirting smoke from her nostrils and looked at him with wide, wide eyes.

“Now,” Jeremy said. “Are you going to behave yourself when I take this rubber band off, or do I have to...” He stopped as she bobbed her head, quickly. “Okay.” Jeremy reached up and tugged the band off with his other hand, but kept the pale brown loop dangling from his fingertip. The dragon let out a quiet churring sound – a clicking hiss that communicated ... approval? And something else, something Jeremy couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“W-Wow,” she whispered. “Protector, I ... wow.”

Jeremy’s finger found the other thing in that voice, now.

Arousal.

Oh.

Jeremy’s cheeks heated and he set the red dragon down. She wriggled out of his jean’s legs and then sat down on her haunches again. “So,” Jeremy said, quietly. “I don’t know why you keep calling me Protector, but ... if there’s a Hunter, then that’s a dragon hunter, right?” At her nod, he continued. “And now I’m the ... dragon protector?”

The dragon nodded again.

“And you’re the dragon,” Jeremy said. “Do you have a name?”

“Cinder Red,” she said, licking at the back of her paw – very kittenishly, Jeremy noticed.

“Okay,” Jeremy said, then sighed. “What about these other eggs?”

“Who cares about them, you have me!” Cinder said, spreading her wings. “I ... can be a good dragon to a protector who can treat me properly.” She crooned and fluttered her eyes at him. Jeremy’s cheeks heated and, despite the fact she was the size of a kitten and had just hatched, he felt a little twitch throb through his cock.

“W-Well, uh...” Jeremy coughed into his hand, trying to settle his thoughts. “Why do dragons need a protector? You’re ... a dragon!” He laughed at Cinder’s intensely smug expression, her wings settling against her back.

“Why indeed,” she murmured, then licked her muzzle. “Well, okay ... you really have never met or seen a dragon before?” She narrowed her eyes. “What is the year?”

“Uh, twenty twenty two,” Jeremy said.

“ ... oh,” she said. “Oh wow, we were in the egg for a while. No wonder you’re so confused.” She nodded. “Dragons cannot stop Hunters. Or anyone, really.” She shrugged. “We’re ... cursed. Enchanted. Something like that. I don’t remember the details, but the basics are we need a human to protect us until we can defend ourselves.” She huffed. “It’s bullshit.”

Jeremy nodded. “And why did you want me to take my pants off?”

“Oh, I’m mad horny and need to know if you’ve got a big enough dick for a red dragon,” Cinder said, casually. Jeremy choked. “I can already tell you don’t.” Jeremy spluttered. “But I can fix that.” She licked her muzzle.

“Hold up!” Jeremy said. “You’re a dragon! I’m a human and-” the tiny red dragon began to glow brightly “-and, I’ve googled the numbers-” the red dragon began to grow, her glow shimmering brighter and brighter “-and I’m average and ... and...”

Jeremy trailed off as the glow faded.

Cinder Red sat on the bed, with a little smirk on her feminine features, and looked eminently, completely, absolutely fuckable. Her body was a midway point between dragon and human girl, with long crimson red hair that spilled along very lightly scaled shoulders, the crimson red of those scales contrasting against her pale pink-white skin. The scaling swept along the backs of her arms, almost to her knuckles, but left the underside of her arms human skinned. Her breasts were tipped by rosy red nipples and firmly in the ‘just big enough for handfuls’ breasts, and her belly was sleek and taut with girl-muscle, which was at least fifty to sixty percent sexier than boy-muscle. Her thighs had even more scaling, like her shoulders, but the scaling evened out around her knees, leaving her calves and her ankles and her dainty feet completely smooth. Her toe-nials were hooked, midnight black claws, and her fingernails were small sharp triangles.

Sprouting from her forehead and sweeping backwards were a pair of curling horns, as red as her old body had been.

Her eyes remained as two pits of molten copper with slitted black eyes. And nictitating membranes, which flicked shut as she licked her lips, revealing she had very, very sharp canine teeth. The wings that spread from her shoulder blades rustled and settled behind her, while the tip of her tail – which dangled off the edge of his narrow, small bed, flicked.

“At a loss for words, protector?” she purred.

Jeremy gulped. “Wow,” he whispered.

“Now,” she murmured. “Take off your stupid underthing and show me that ... average cock.”

Jeremy shivered. Then ... he remembered the way Cinder had reacted earlier. He saw, with a flash, that there were two ways forward. One where he followed her orders and ... well, within five minutes, his life ceased to be his own and he became Jeremy Bayer, Cinder Red’s pet human protector. The other way...

Jeremy stepped forward. She grinned at him – then squeaked as he took hold of her horns and pushed her back. Her back pressed into the bed as Jeremy swung up onto the bed, his knees pinning to either side of her hips, his member achingly hard against his underwear. The other eggs bobbed around her shoulders, resting against them as she blinked up at him, her eyes showing shock as clearly as a human’s would.

“W-what are-”

“Please,” Jeremy growled.

“What!?” Cinder squeaked.

“Take off your underwear ... please.” He grinned down at her, his hands releasing her horns so that he could instead pin her arms there. She squirmed – but not very hard. Which was good because even her little squirming lifted his hands up and off the bed. She was so strong. Jeremy tried to hide his fear behind his smug smirk, and he was pretty sure he did a good job of it as Cinder let out another churring sound.

“Oh Protector...”

“Jeremy,” Jeremy said, firmly. His hand slid along her muscular arm, feeling the softness of her skin. His hand went to her shoulder, up her neck, to her cheek. His thumb grazed along her lips. “I’m not just your protector. I ... am Jeremy Bayer and you won’t forget that, Red.” His eyes looked into hers and he growled. “Now. Please.” His thumb shoved into her mouth and she moaned as her tongue pressed against his tongue tip, submissively. Her eyes half closed, glowing brightly through her eyelids ... and Jeremy slid his thumb back – allowing her to pant and whimper.

“J-Jeremy please...”

“Please what?”

“Take off your underthings, underwear, please!” Cinder whimpered.

Jeremy’s cock had never been harder in his life. And he was an eighteen year old teenager, he knew how hard he could fucking get. He slid back, shifted up to his knees, and pushed his underwear down, his cock springing free. It was, indeed, according to Google, absolutely average: Approximately five inches? Maybe a little less. He wasn’t sure which, because measuring it had seemed just a bit silly. Still, as he looked at Cinder, he half expected to see the spell broken.

Instead, she licked her lips. “Lets see...” She sat up, and her smoldering red lips pressed against the tip of his cock. Her flaring eyes looked up into his eagerly as she opened her mouth and, as if she had been doing this her whole life, she slid forward and forward and forward and in a single smooth motion, she took his entire cock into her mouth. Her lips pressed against his hips and he felt her tongue coiling around his member. The feeling was ... indescribable. Jeremy’s fingers clenched and he gasped out a choked moan, his eyes half closing as he trembled, quivered. “J-Jesus Cinder!” He moaned. Then he felt a strange heat glowing through him as Cinder began to slide back...

And back...

And back...

And with each inch, her mouth revealed more and more cock – her tongue swirling as he realized he he had gone from moderately thick to so thick that her jaw was forced almost entirely open. One of her clawed hands closed around the base of his cock – and her fingertips couldn’t touch her palm. Cinder finished drawing back, leaving him with a cock that looked like it was ... three times longer than it had been. Maybe a bit more.

“ ... holy shit,” Jeremy whispered as Cinder kissed the tip of his cock, her eyes closing to thin slits as she whimpered softly.

“Yes, mm, Jeremy, yes ... I love your big thick cock,” she moaned, then kissed along the side of his dick. “The spell only gives you a cock as big as you deserve!” She moaned, nuzzling against him. “I expected ... three, four more inches, tops, not ... this.” She groaned, her nose flaring as she breathed in his musk. “Oh yes, yes yes!” She licked from the base of his cock to his tip, flicking her forked tongue along his slit, scooping up pre-cum as she stroked his member with her hand, her claws not quite touching him with enough pressure to cause ... any ... pain or anything. But the dangerous sensation of them made his body tingle with excitement.

“Oh,” Jeremy whispered as Cinder moaned, sucking on the tip of his cock. “Oh.” He groaned, his eyes closing as Cinder pushed forward. She got half his cock down her throat, which strained around him, before needing to stop, making a soft gurgling noise. “Ohhhh!” Jeremy grabbed onto her horns. Animal instincts burned through him as Cinder slid her hands along his thighs, not pushing him away. Encouraging him. Jeremy reared up and dragged her down and impaled Cinder’s throat on his cock. Her eyes rolled back into her head as her wings spread, her throat straining around his cock. She made a whuffing noise around his cock, and thick streams of smoke spurted from her nostrils, teasing along his belly.

“Fuck yes!” Jeremy snarled. “This is what you were made for, little dragon cocksucker...” He whispered, letting the feeling of raw domination sear through him. His balls - which felt as if they had swelled up just a bit – slapped against Cinder’s jaw as her eyes closed tight and her free hands slid down to cup her breasts. Her fingers tugged eagerly on her nipples as Jeremy ... utterly lost control. He fucked her throat faster, harder, and reveled in the eager slurping and sucking noises that he wrung from Cinder’s throat.

Cinder’s tongue swirled around him and Jeremy found himself unable to stop himself. He gave no warning. He just gripped her horns, squeezed her and dragged her close and then shuddered as his balls bumped against her jaw and then twitched and he began to cum ... and cum hard. Thick seed gushed down her throat, spurting into the dragoness’ belly, filling her with his seed as Jeremy rolled his head back, gasping heavily. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Her hand gripped the back of his ass, holding him against her. Her tail slapped the bed.

And then Jeremy felt himself sliding slowly back and away, panting heavily. Cinder’s mouth remained open, showing the thick warm white cum that filled her mouth. Her eyes opened to slits and she closed her mouth. Her throat bobbed. Her mouth opened again and her tongue slid out, revealing that she had swallowed every last droplet.

“Wow...” Jeremy whispered.

Crack!

“Oh, hey...” Cinder said, her voice dazed. “Looks like everyone else decided they wanted to play too.”

Jeremy blinked.

And then every single egg around him exploded at once. But rather than dragons emerging, what came out was a brilliant glow and a wave of flesh that pressed against him. Jeremy felt hands, arms, breasts, lips, all of them pressing against him as he was born backwards. The bed frame that had already been having trouble with him and Red’s weight ... decided to let out one last squeal of protest, write a letter to their loved ones, and then drop dead. The frame crashed down and the mattress thumped into the floor.

The glow faded and Jeremy looked up at his other four dragons.

“Great,” he whispered.

Starting, clockwise to counterclockwise, widdershins to tittershins, dragon left to dragon right, was the copper skinned, copper scaled, copper eyed, copper haired girl with the biggest boobs that Jeremy had ever seen in his life. Well, no, that wasn’t entirely true. The biggest boobs he had ever seen in his life were a pair of truly preposterously oversized tits drawn by an artist who had an extremely unusual interpretation of what the character Jinx from League of Legends looked like when she took her bandoleers off. But those had been both A) Drawn and B) Wildly Inaccurate so, Jeremy wasn’t sure if they actually counted as being ‘in his life.’ Or maybe he was just trying to ignore the fact that said copper dragon was mashing her tits against his cheek while caressing the top of his head.