Chapter 18

“I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar. She asked me if I’d beat her.
She took me back to the Hyatt House ... I don’t wanna talk about it.
Poor poor pitiful me. Poor poor pitiful me.
These young girls won’t let me be. Lord have mercy on me.
Woe is me.”
-Warren Zevon, “Poor Poor Pitiful Me”

Baker’s Half-Dozen had bags placed over their heads and were thrown into the back of the Ultimados’ APC. They were then escorted into a building, and down a long hall, where they were tossed into a holding cell. When the door slammed closed, Tracy Baker removed her bag. Gordon Walker was the only member of her group missing.

“You can take off the bags now.” She told the others. “I think that was just La Contessa’s flair for the dramatic.”

Alice Mei and Franz Hauber were still in handcuffs, so Tracy removed their bags for them.

“Why aren’t any of you in cuffs?” Alice asked.

“Because they weren’t caught by Luc Allaine.” Franz informed her.

Morris Sinclair, Oscar Dodge, and Spencer Malone removed their bags. Everyone else looked around, noticed Gordon’s absence, then turned to Morris, expecting him to be able to answer their unasked question.

“I don’t know Italian, but I think they were calling an ambulance when the bag went over my head.”

Tracy walked over to Alice and sat on the floor next to her.

“You’re the only one of us for whom being arrested and locked up is a first-time experience, Alice. Avoid eye contact, stay close, and don’t talk to anyone but us.”

Oscar scooted onto the other side of Alice.

“I don’t know if we’re going to see any other criminals, but if anyone asks what you’re in for, you stole a car. Most anything else, someone’ll have a family member it happened to, or it happened to them, and you’ll make their shit list. ‘Stole a car’ could mean anything and the wrong judge could lock you away forever for it. So, it’s a safe crime. That also means to watch out for anyone else who tells you they stole a car.”

“You could have ended that sentence with ‘watch out for anyone else.’” Franz told him, reaching out with both of his cuffed hands to pat hers. “We’ll stay with you as long as they let us, Liebchen.”

“Thanks, everyone. God, I actually SAID ‘I’m an American, I have rights.’ So fucking stupid.”

“Everyone’s had a first arrest.” Tracy assured her.

The others seemed to be attending to Alice, so Spencer sidled up to Morris.

“You ok, man?” Spencer asked. “Seems you were doing pretty all right with the whole bag thing.”

“Yeah,” Morris told him. “Yeah, I am. The guy who caught me did something and we talked on the way back to everyone else. He told me this feeling’s not gonna last, and after the other things we discussed, if I HAVE a next therapy session, I’m going to ask about medication.” Morris looked him over. “And what about you? If I described your look in one word right now, it’d be ‘serene.’ I thought if I didn’t freak out, you would.”

Spencer continued looking at something beyond. Morris thought he had the same expression Tracy did when she came back from reading that letter. That look of having attained spiritual awareness in the minutes since Morris had last seen her was on Spencer’s face now.

“The one who brought me in showed me something. I get what Tracy was saying now about how, even if she wipes our minds, we won. I ... gained something.”

There was a sharp, sudden pain in his side, like someone had kicked him, but Spencer knew better than to show weakness in this place and ignored it.

“Well,” Tracy told them, rising to her feet, and walking over to sit on one of the beds chained to the wall. “Remember to say what I told her. I’m some master manipulator like her and I coerced you all into this. I threatened your family, or I’ve got dirt on you. Whatever you say, I’ll back it up.”

Oscar remained by Alice’s side and replied.

“Do you really think any of us are going to do that, Tracy?”

She gave the smile of someone who knew that no, they wouldn’t sell her out, even if she told them to.

“You sure?” Contessa Helena de San Finzione asked, suddenly appearing on the bed next to Tracy. “Because I’d totally jump on a deal like that.”

Everyone backed away and scrambled to their feet.

“How did you...” Tracy started to ask before remembering that the woman had the power of mind control.

“Oh, I’ve been here this whole time. Rode in the APC with you. I just commanded you all to ignore me. That little kick a few seconds ago, Spencer, was because I know what Susan would’ve shown you to put that look on your face. Enjoy the fantasy. And you’re not all attacking me because I commanded you not to, then made you forget that I did. And if any of you are thinking of trying anything, I’d ask if you’ve noticed Mander in the room with us.” Everyone looked around. They couldn’t. “Am I bluffing? Wanna find out?”

They looked around the room. Nobody saw him. And nobody wanted to find out. Tracy looked over to Helen.

“Something tells me that you’re not. Well, you’ve caught us, Helena. My first question would be ‘Where’s Gordon?’”

“Infirmary.” She answered. “Julie knew Troy was going to see the aftermath of whatever she did to him, so that’s why he’ll still have some kind of face and a dick when you see him next.”

“So, we ARE going to see him next?” Morris asked.

“Oh, yes. He should be all right to show up for sentencing. In case you haven’t guessed, your trial began the moment I cut into your comms. Good guess on the bags, by the way. That was just for fun. And to remind you that you stole from the person who gets to decide what happens to you for it.”

“You’ve already determined our fates.” Tracy pointed out. “The only reason you haven’t disposed of us yet is that you’re enjoying this, and gloating is a sign of emotional insecurity. That’s not you.”

“Something you should’ve picked up about me by now, Tracy, is that I usually have multiple reasons for the things I do. One of them is that someone I respect would prefer if I got through my birthday without killing anybody, so I’m trying my best to avoid that. Another is that I only pretend to be a heartless bitch for professional reasons, and I was watching just now as you all comforted Alice and listening when you offered to take the fall for everyone. And yes, that flair for the theatrical that you mentioned is part of it as well.”

“So, you haven’t decided.” Tracy pointed out. “That’s a potentially hopeful sign. However, I’ve learned not to expect hope from you.”

“You’re right. It just means I’ll have to get creative with your punishments. There’s still the bitter irony portion of the program to come as well. Tell you what. It’s nearly 3 AM and I have shit to do in the morning. I’ve got to return the Star and translate a meeting with the guy you stole it from, and I’ll need some rest for all that. I’ll decide what I’m doing with you afterwards. But for now, I’ll let you in on another secret. You’re gonna come tell me who the buyer is, then I’m going to show you why I didn’t just throw you into my dungeons. Not sex dungeons. I live in a castle; I’ve got real ones. And what kind of options I have when I say ‘creative.’ And then, I’m going to go to bed and let you sit here with the knowledge that what you saw will not affect my night’s sleep in any way. You wanted to learn more than what the media says about me? Let’s get started. Come along.”

Helen escorted Tracy out of the cell. The door closed. The others sat in silence. They looked around again to see if Mander had left. They failed to notice if he had. Morris broke the silence.

“Do ... do you think he’s still here?”

Helen led Tracy down a drab corridor to an interrogation room.

“Military Gray.” Tracy commented on the decor, taking the seat facing the one-way mirror that she knew was her spot. “We’re on your army base.”

“Fort Ernesto.” Helen replied, taking the seat she was unaccustomed to sitting at in one of these rooms. “Named for my late father-in-law, Count Ernesto de San Finzione the Third. Werner Schell hanged him for failing to give up the resistance cell that was hiding his son.”

“I saw the film. And I imagine the point of that story was to let me know that you might do such things. ‘I could do to you what the Nazis did to my husband’s father’ is a weird boast. And you don’t have Ultimados outside the door and haven’t cuffed me to the chair because you’ve commanded me not to attack you. Like, ok, I get it, my fate is in your hands. I’m an Essex girl, but I’m not an Essex Girl.”

It was a good point. Helen let it roll off of her.

“‘I get it,’ ‘my fate.’ Good job of subtly conveying the message ‘I’m the ringleader. If you’re going to hang someone, let it be me.’ But you’re right; enough menacing. Let’s start with the big question: Who’s the buyer?”

Helen took out her cigarette case, opened it, pulled one out with her teeth, lit it with the built-in lighter, and put it away in one fluid motion.

“I’ve seen you do that on the tele. His name is Johannes Pretorius.”

Helen took a drag and thought on the name.

“Not a name I’m familiar with, but you’d have to go to four different stores to find one more Afrikaans. Something tells me that if I google it, I’ll find someone well-connected in the diamond industry.”

“He’s a major shareholder in several companies.” Tracy answered. “He’s flying in tonight. I’m supposed to meet his plane with the Star.”

Helen took a deeper drag before her next question.

“And did he tell you why he wants it?”

“He’s a rich prick who likes diamonds. I didn’t ask his deeper motivations.”

“Well, he has plenty. In two days, the front-page story will probably still be that it’s my birthday. But the one under the fold will be ‘Impoverished African Country Discovers Diamonds.’ He got the news early and has been trying to get a jump on exploiting the new President of Uongo’s inexperience for them. He tried to sneak a clause into the upcoming treaty that would grant Big Diamond freedom to strip-mine the country and pay pauper’s wages to do it. And either as a Plan B, or because, as you suggest, he just likes diamonds, had you steal the Star. Interpol found the leak who knew it’d be at the hotel that night. She’s still being questioned, but something tells me that she’ll give them Pretorius, too. But yes, it fucked with a treaty between my country and Uongo, so we can add an Espionage rap to all your other crimes. You’re in a military jail because that’s where we put spies. I’m not threatening you, merely stating a fact, when I tell you that people have taken cyanide to get out of being in this room with me.”

“Until you extract the truth from them, no doubt.” Tracy concluded. “Your next move, then, would be to toy with their minds and send them on their way with a newfound loyalty to San Finzione and La Contessa.”

“Having informants you don’t need to pay saves the Ministry of Intelligence a lot of money. But I sense that you’re telling the truth about not knowing his real motives.”

“If I lie, you’ll just get it out of me. Why upset you even further?”

“You and your people make good decisions. I like that. I mean, apart from the incredibly POOR one that’s landed you here. The job you didn’t HAVE to do, you WANTED to!”

“Well, steal from the best.” Tracy replied. “They’ve usually got the best stuff. And then there’s the things I told you at the docks. About how you’re a role model to young women everywhere as a world leader AND as a criminal. As for those ‘other things’ you mentioned, well, you’ve seen yourself. I think I wanted you to send those nudes more than Spencer did. And yes, I can’t stress enough that they all did it because they knew I wanted it.”

“You care about them, and they care about you. I saw that in the cell.”

“They’re a good team and I know what they all can do.”

“Haven’t always been.” Helen pointed out. “I know about the Gold Room job.”

“Of course. Everyone remembers the fuckups. And this is my trial, so I know better than to tell you about other jobs that were successful. I’ll plead guilty; I merely ask you to go easy on the others. Oscar is a grandfather, and this is Alice’s first arrest. I think Gordon’s suffered enough at the hands of your artist friend; whom, from what I’ve read and your promise to show her later, I’ve deduced is more than that. I don’t think Morris would be able to handle life on the inside without him. Spencer’s top notch, you’d be a fool not to give him a job. Same with Alice. And Franz might like his nose candy too much, but he only takes from people who have it coming. I suppose his fuckup is how you caught us.”