Chapter 33

The story follows Brad and Janet driving in the rain. They get a flat tired, and Brad and Janet go out looking for help. All the while the audience was yelling at the screen about what assholes and sluts they were.

Most of the audience pulled out water guns. Some of them had snuck in big water guns. I thought I had overheard Lady Viking telling people precisely NOT to bring in the over-sized water guns. People started firing them in the air over our heads.

Lori and Rachel produced newspapers from their bags and fired their pistols. I squired them with the piss pistol. I hit Lori in the eye and made her make-up run. She looked at me like I truly was an asshole. I decided not to fire that piss into the air with my squirt gun and put it away. I didn’t want to be seen as a sadistic jerk, and that is what I assumed was meant by ‘asshole.’

The movie itself wasn’t remarkable at all. What WAS remarkable was the audience participation. The entire audience was acting out the rain scene. Meanwhile, on stage, there were actors walking across the stage as if they were caught in a deadly storm.

Music began to play again and this time the song was about Frankenstein manor. Was Frankenstein going to be in this movie? I had seen old movies from years ago about Wolfman, Dracula and Frankenstein and wondered how they ever scared anyone.

On Saturday afternoons around 2pm I used to watch Creature Feature. I wasn’t into scary movies, but we used to only get three channels. You have to make do with what you have. My parents were too cheap to get cable. Dr. Paul Bearer was the host. He was corny and dressed like a vampire or a ghoul. He couldn’t have scared anyone.

I assumed the movie would have a villain like that because the title mentioned “Horror”. I would eventually wonder who the actual villain in the movie was. It may seem like a tautology but there were so many stereotypes and tropes in this movie and yet it was like nothing I had ever seen (or experienced) in my life.

Everyone stood up. Rachel patted me on the shoulder and told me to stand up as well. I was the one who was supposed to TELL HER what to do. I did it anyway. I didn’t want to look dumb. She showed me her lighter. I was taught NEVER to play with lighters.

Everyone in the audience held up a lighter. What were they going to do? Smoke cigarettes? Smoke marijuana? I wanted no part of that!!

“There’s a light, over at the Frankenstein Place,” was a line from the song. Everyone lit their lighters and held them up. This had to be some kind of fire hazard! It was the 1980s though, and that stuff was pretty lightly enforced. I did it as well.

Lori punched me in the arm to remind me to bring my hand down when the lyric finished. Everyone else had already dropped their arms. They kept raising them with the lit lighters and then dropping them in time with the part about a light at the Frankenstein manor.

To what end?

“Where do you keep your babies?” Lori screamed out over everybody else.

“Burning in the fire play-ace,” the sweet lullaby of the chorus responded in time to her question.

The dialogue the audience yelled at the movie screen was so twisted. I laughed so hard that I started coughing. Rachel and Lori didn’t seem to notice or if they did – they didn’t care.

The humor reminded me of the Garbage Pail Kids of the time. They were just starting to come out around then. They were a parody of the craze over Cabbage Patch kid dolls. Those were the “Must have” dolls for girls back then.

Garbage Pail Kids were edgy, gross and disgusting. I had a few stickers and trading cards, but I wasn’t an avid collector. They had names like Nasty Nick, April Showers, Potty Scotty, Creepy Carol.

The Garbage Pail Kid I hated the most was Fryin’ Brian (for obvious reasons). He was being electrocuted and executed on his card. I wondered if the girls would get turned on by being electrocuted like they did being hung? I don’t mean shocked to death – but having electricity ran through their bodies.

I imagined what they would look like being walked completely naked to the electric chair. They would be strapped down with leather straps in a wooden chair. They’d probably have to sit on a copper shaped dildo so that it would conduct electricity up their asses.

They would scream and beg for mercy. The sadistic guard would take a call at the last minute. “It was the governor. He said to go ahead and do it.”

Then he would pull the switch. The zaps of electricity would not scorch them. It would make their mouths tremble and spit would spill all over their tits. Their hair would stand up and curl and their bodies would tense and pulse in time with the current arcing through their bodies. It was a twisted fantasy. I wondered if Dennis would like it?

I snapped out of my reverie when the butler opened the door for Brad and Janet.

Riff: You’re wet.

Audience: BRAD FINGER FUCKED HER IN THE CAR.

Janet: Yes, it’s raining.

Audience: NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!

Brad: Yes.

AUDIENCE: DO YOU FUCK YOUR SISTER?

Riff: ... Yes.

I was fascinated by how many incest references there were in this movie. There was a part earlier when the audience happily sang “Now that you fucked mom and you blew dad!”

There was a part I wasn’t ready for just after Columbia slides down the banister. She laughed wickedly about being lucky and looked like she was REALLY enjoying squishing her cunt on the banister rail.

Audience: “WE’RE ALL LUCKY!!”

The first beat of the time warp hit and there was mass pandemonium in the theater. I wasn’t expecting that at all. There was no warning there would be a dancer number in the middle of this scene. The girls had sang songs from the soundtrack earlier but I really didn’t expect this movie to be a MUSICAL!

Everyone jumped out of their chairs (except for me) and began performing the dance. Rachel and Lori grabbed me and made me do it with them.

At first, I was extremely embarrassed. I think I told you that I hate doing line dances like the chicken dance or the hokey pokey. This seemed even worse.

A classy narrator that looked like a Bond Villain gave us the steps. “It’s just a jump to the left...”

No one needed instructions. Everyone knew the dance by heart!

When it came to the part where they sing “It’s the pelvic thrust,” Rachel was behind me, and she pretended to fuck me from behind. “That really drives you ins-a-a-ain!” Lori ground her hips on me and gave me what I would later learn was a lap dance.

Okay, I was in for all its worth after that. I legitimately did this silly dance just like everybody else. It went on a little long for my tastes – but it was actually quite fun. I remember getting back to my chair and laughing so hard.

The girls were as well.

“This is fun, thank you for taking me here,” I told Lori.

“See, we aren’t ALL bad,” Lori shrugged and facetiously told me to shut up so she could watch.

I’ll fast forward to some of my favorite parts of the movie. The scene when Frank-N-Furter first meets them was actually very cool. I was ready to hate Tim Curry simply because the girls were so attracted to him.

He had a very sexy kind of charisma. He didn’t care that he was in drag. He seemed to revel in his debauched lifestyle. I wished I could be like him. Riff, Magenta and Columbia were his followers, and he was the obvious leader.

It was obvious to see the similarities between how Frank and Lori. She had exuded a natural charisma when she was outside. She even adopted his exaggerated body language and facial expressions at times.

Lori wasn’t always that animated. She was usually charming and snarky, but there was usually no edge to her humor. When Lori dressed up as Frank she started to act even more out-going and a little bit more wicked. When she was in her element in the alley behind the theater, she almost became another person like Jekyll and Hyde.

Lori could also beg, pout and whine like a pathetic little rabbit that was afraid for her life when it suited her. I didn’t think she was acting when she behaved differently. I felt Lori was just a complex person who often adapted her behavior to match her surroundings and situation. I would come to realize that Lori was a bit of a chameleon.

I envied her for that. I really had one setting and that was “Brian Worthington”. I wondered if I was just in “first gear” and had had never really tried to shift myself into second. Rocky Horror was such a campy, silly movie, and yet it made me think about a lot of things.

I also wondered how so many of these people accepted and even adored the fact that Frank was a transvestite. I had never met one as far as I knew. I had been taught that something was wrong with them.

What I saw in Frank on the screen was someone who embraced who he was and who he wanted to be.

The actress that played him on the stage was actually a woman (and she was hot!). I don’t think Lori approved of her.

“I could be a better Frank!” she huffed.

“Then why don’t you?” Rachel asked.

“I don’t want to put in the time to come to practice,” Lori shrugged it off.

The cast wheeled out a white screen and placed it in the center of the stage for another part of the movie. I am not sure if this was my favorite part, but it was certainly cool. The opening song had promised androids fucking and sucking on Brad and Janet. I had yet to see any androids and I was hoping I would.

Instead, Frank awkwardly seduced Janet and tricked her into thinking that Brad may be unfaithful. I was watching the movie and not paying attention to the stage at first. I might have missed it if they hadn’t turned on a flashlight behind the white screen. The light created a silhouette of bodies of the two actresses that played Frank and Janet.

I could have sworn they were completely naked. They embraced like lovers and the audience cheered them on. Janet dropped to her knees and the silhouette made it appear that she was sucking Frank’s cock. Once again, the audience cheered even louder.

Janet pulled on his dick. Keep in mind, that the actress playing Frank was obviously a female. At least, as far as I knew. Janet created an optical illusion with shadows to make it seem like his dick stretched about six feet long. It was so raunchy that I got a boner and laughed hysterically.

In the next scene, Frank seduced Brad in the same manner. This time the actors were naked and it appeared that the guy who played Brad was fucking Frank up the ass. The audience thought THAT was hysterical.

Schoolyard bullies would frequently beat the crap out of people if they even SUSPECTED he was gay. It was actually refreshing to see an entire audience that found this all hysterical.

There was another part where they were talking about the creature that Frank had created.

Riff: “He’s a credit to your genius Master.”

Frank: “Yes!”

Magenta: “A triumph of your will!”

Frank: “Yes!”

Columbia: “He’s okay!”

There was this obvious look on Frank’s face that made it very clear that he was not happy with Columbia’s response. The actor was clearly very expressive in his emotions – I’ll give him that!

Audience: “YOU DONE FUCKED UP!”

Columbia’s character was a slutty girl that seemed attracted to Frank. That was the one that Rachel had wanted to play. Earlier in the movie, she adjusted her shirt and her nipple popped out on screen. It was the only actual nudity I had seen so far. I had seen a lot of underwear, panties and corsets at this point.

Frank: “What did she say? ... Okay? ... Okay!? ... I think we can do better than that!”

Audience: “WHY DON’T YOU ASK BRAD AND JANET?”

Frank: “Now, Brad and Janet, what do you think of him?”

Audience: “DON’T ASK JANET, SHE’LL LIE!”

Janet: “Well, I don’t like men with too many muscles.”

Audience: “JUST ONE BIG ONE!”

Lori had been quoting Rocky Horror all weekend even before her father agreed to let her come to the show. I thought she was going to ruin it for me when she quoted the movie with spoilers. I think it only enhanced the movie because once I heard them say it in the movie it was even funnier to me now. I laughed and laughed.

Sixty people in a movie theater just suggested that Susan Sarandon loved big dicks!! How funny is that?

When they finally introduced Rocky to the audience, I was in for another surprise. On-screen, he was an attractive, athletic looking adult man with blonde hair (and a tan) in golden underwear.

The actor that played Rocky in the cast was a friend of mine from school named David Quiles. He was about my size and age. He had dark hair and an obviously fake wig. He was pale as a ghost, and he was wearing just a pair of regular white underwear that had been spray-painted gold. He also wore knee-high socks with red stripes.

The funniest thing was that he clearly had a hard-on and no one in the cast said anything about it. At one point, he was being chased around the theater by Frank and he ran right past me. I was sure he saw me. The look on his face was priceless. David looked embarrassed and humiliated when he ran past me! He had no reason to be as far as I was concerned.

I was impressed. We had never been close friends. He liked computers and I liked computers. He got bullied and I got bullied. We had a shared lunch period. David and I only occasionally spoke, and it was never anything really that deep.

I wanted to get to know him after this!

He had a bigger dick than me as well! It was sticking straight up in his underwear and stayed hard for his entire time on stage. I kept wondering what the people in the cast thought about being on a stage with a boy with a raging hard-on!

I kept thinking about whether or not Judith saw this guy’s dick? I had not seen her for the rest of the show. I assumed Judith may have gone home because her part was over, and the movie was getting pretty raunchy. I kind of hoped she did because I assumed that most of this movie would offend her more cultured sensibilities.

Monster played Eddie the Rock Star on stage. He had drawn “LOVE” and “HATE” on his knuckles. Monster didn’t speak in the guttural beast voice that he used when he brought me on stage. I guess it was silly to think that’s how he was all of the time. How would he even order food at McDonalds? “ME MONSTER, ME WANT BIG MAC WITH CHEESE!”