Chapter 22

Thursday very early morning

Ben’s House

Harborton Washington

Ben in his dream state became slowly aware of a soft warmth washing over him. Then the warmth took on a golden glow that was pure as the heart of a sun as it encased Ben protecting him. Ben could feel the love in that soft, safe embrace and relaxed, his heart finally letting go of the pain and anxiety that was always with him during these episodes.

Ben was suddenly standing on a sawdust floor in front of a wooden bar situated in what felt like an old timey road house and standing in front of the bar was a very familiar figure!

“Smitty! Goddamn it’s good to see you!” Ben said as he strode forward to envelope the Corporal in a tight hug.

“You too Skipper! Haha I told you, you’d see me again!” Smitty replied as he returned the hug with a backslap.

“What is all this and how did you and I get here?” asked an astonished Ben.

“Well I dunno the details but apparently that gal of yours pulled some strings at HQ and I got a special dispensation to see you.”

“Gal of mine?” asked Ben.

“Yeah, the really pretty one who glows.” Smitty smiled, “I understand the confusion, apparently you have more than one!” Smitty added with a grin.

“Hokay, let’s just assume I know what you mean, doesn’t really matter. It’s just plain good to see you again.” said Ben.

“It sure is, I wish this were just a social type visit though, but I do have something to jaw with you about and I also need to show you something.” said Smitty as he continued with a more serious tone. “You see cap’n, you are stuck in another serious situation and there are a lot of people counting on you.”

“I’m starting to get that feeling myself Smitty, but I just don’t think I’m up to it. I can still fight and I’m still meaner than hell, but looking out for, leading or making decisions for others is not in my wheelhouse any longer. It’s why I left the Marine Corps.” Ben shook his head. “I fucked up so badly the last time I had that kind of responsibility that I just can’t manage it again.” Ben said sadly.

“That’s just it sir. You didn’t fuck up. You made the hard decisions that had to be made and as a result you saved a lot of folks whose time wasn’t up yet.”

“But Smitty, If I hadn’t taken out that man’s sons none of it would’ve happened!” Ben exclaimed.

“Goddamn it sir. No wonder they made you an officer, as smart as you are sometimes, you don’t have a lick of sense.” said Smitty vehemently.

Ben was taken a little aback.” What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t have let them fire those mortars nohow. Who knows how many they would have killed in that village? If you hadn’t taken them out yourself you would’ve had to order someone else to do it. Either with mortars or machine guns or putting them under direct fire with one of the platoons. Those men were goners the moment they started setting up those mortars and it was them that made the choices that led to their death.” Smitty finished.

“Okay maybe so, but there was just so much more that I could have done. We lost so many fine Marines that day, including yourself.”

“You know damn well that ‘nothing ever goes to plan when the shit hits the fan’. But Skipper they are using what you did that day at Quantico to teach other lieutenants and NCO’s how to defend against a superior force without support, so you cain’t have screwed the pooch that bad.” Smitty paused and then added somberly “I’ve been ‘in touch’ with all of those that passed over that day and they’ve asked me to give you a message.”

Ben was stunned. “I ... okay. I guess I need to hear this” Ben closed his eyes waiting for the condemnation to follow.

“I’m paraphrasing a bit, but here goes. ‘It was our time, and you led us in a way that gave us the chance to do the right thing honorably. Don’t diminish that honor by letting your personal guilt get in the way when others still need you,’’ Smitty paused then added. “They also wanted me to be sure and tell you ‘remember to duck and try not to get shot in the ass next time, it’s just embarrassing’. “ Smitty finished with a smile.

Ben had to laugh at the advice. He had told many of his Gung Ho lieutenants the same damn thing.

“It’s just about time for me to RTB (return to base), but I need to show you this first,” Smitty said, walking over to some double doors that were set into the back wall.

Ben walked over to stand beside Smitty as he opened both doors. The doors opened onto a sunshine lit green meadow filled with people. All waving at Ben and Smitty. In the very front there was an older woman who bore a striking resemblance to Lauren, the French teacher whom Ben had recently encountered.

“Who are all these people?” Ben asked, puzzled.

“These are some of those who you saved that day and some of their relatives. They have all passed on to the Upper way but wanted to let you know that what you did that day made a difference. And not just to them. They were able to complete their lives as they should with family and a good life. There are many more that are still in the Middle Way so the impact of what Bravo Company under your leadership did that day carries on.” replied Smitty

Ben was quiet for a second as he considered what all this meant. Then it struck him.

“Middle Way? Upper Way? You are starting to sound like a Cherokee Smitty!” said Ben quizzically.

“Haha yeah Skipper, turns out the old blood runs true in me. By the way, thanks for the prayer, and the words you gave my mom. The prayer really did help me on my way and my mom really appreciated knowing how my last day was spent.”

“It’s the least I could do Smitty.” Ben paused, “and I never got a chance to say ‘thank you’ to you for all the times you looked after me, not to mention saving my bacon at the end there. I don’t think I ever had a better friend.”

“Well Cap’n, I’m not allowed to spoil the plot, so to speak, but you may be seeing me sooner than you think and I believe you’ll get plenty of chances to return the favor.” Smitty replied with an enigmatic smile.

“I certainly hope so Smitty!” Ben said with a smile.

“Awright, so Skipper, I know sometimes it’s hard but that’s why we became Marines. So as you would say to us, “Suck it up, quitcherbitchin, and carry on because no one else is going to do it!” Smitty laughed, and then continued, “But seriously sir, the world is hurting and we need you.”

“I will do my best Smitty, I swear.” said Ben, solemnly.

“Good enough for me. Take care of yourself and don’t let those purty girls wear you out!” Smitty said as he drew Ben in for a last hug.

The scene faded from Ben’s dream and slowly he came awake to the rose colored early morning light and an angel lying naked next to him. Kelly’s breath was soft on his cheek and her soft hair was sweet smelling and tickling his nose. Ben could only stare at her delicate beauty as she lay relaxed and softly snoring next to him. But damn he had to pee.

“Kelly, darling, what are you doing here?” Ben said softly as he tried to gently extricate himself.

“Ummm hhuh, dun go yet...” Kelly mumbled her eyes slowly opening as she pulled Ben back into her arms.

“Be right back, just have to pee.” Ben whispered

“Ohhkay, Hurry!” Kelly mumbled again.

Ben rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. After he finished he returned to a vision as the light from the bedroom window played across Kelly’s prone figure. She really is glowing thought Ben.

“C’mere” Kelly whispered as she lifted a corner of the covers for Ben.

Ben settled in next to her and she rolled under his arm and into his side again. She huffed a bit of hair out of her face and yawned.

“Sarah sent me last night. She knew you were in pretty bad shape. Thought I could help. You ‘kay now?”

“Yes Kelly, I feel better than I have in years. Thank you, you are incredible. I could feel you in my dreams!” replied Ben.

“Do you love me?” Kelly asked matter of factly. Looking up at Ben through the tousled hair in her eyes.

“Yes, I love you.” Ben said with a small smile at the easy honesty allowed by early morning sleepy conversations.

“Good ... Kay, I need you to make love to me now.” Kelly finished with a small yawn and rolled on top of Ben plastering herself to him with her head laid across his chest.

Kelly had awoken to the most wonderful feeling. Her Ben, all warm and smelly good and in her arms where he belonged. It was all she could do to let him out of bed to pee. And then he returned to her under the cozy covers. She knew then that he loved her. She could see it in his eyes. But she asked anyway, just to hear him say it. Suddenly, she knew it was right for her. She no longer had to be a prisoner to what those awful ... people had done to her. She felt free and light. She would never forget it but she didn’t need to. What had happened to her then just had no more power over her now. Ben saw the true her and loved her. What had happened that horrible night was not a part of her any longer and could not define her.

“Are you sure my love?” Ben said quietly.

She could feel the rumbles in his chest from her perch atop him as he spoke and it made her tingly all over. She was feeling things she never had before, almost as if Ben were truly her first love. Kelly could feel herself dampening and the petals at her center were flushing and opening for him. She couldn’t help it as her pelvis began tilting back and forth moving softly against his lower stomach. All her senses were expanding, she could feel her nasal passages opening for his scent and her skin warming against his. Her sense of touch tingled outward until she could feel each hair on his body where it touched her. Even her hair yearned for his touch.