Chapter 7: Legal Economics

“Nio, how can you live so well on two dollar retainers?”

“Well, like I say, the tort claims are the moneymakers. You know about ‘Vans,’ the shoe company, and ‘Vons,’ the grocery store? Well, there used to be a wine warehouse called ‘Vins.’ Now, one day a Vins cube truck was delivering cases of wine to a chain warehouse in Pomona. To save money, they had overloaded the truck by 25%. And, they hadn’t put down wheel chocks to prevent a runaway. So, predictably, the Vins truck rolled away downhill and just about flattened a preschool at the bottom.”

Kayla had her eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth, horrified.

“So, in a huge stroke of luck, the kids were having recess in the back yard. Only one fatality: an aide caught inside the building. Wine was sloshing everywhere, and several of the moms fainted when they reached the scene. The kids were already frightened out of their minds and completely hysterical until and after their parents arrived.”

“I was part of a team of three lawyers representing the aide’s estate, the preschool, and ten of the fifteen families. By the time the judgment came and Vins had been liquidated, the award was tens of millions, and we lawyers split the customary 35% fee four ways. For me, that supported a whole lot of low cost and pro bono custody and divorce work.”

“Nio, that’s a lot to think about. Hold my stuff, I’m going to run around in the surf until I get all prune-like. You may commence ogling.” “Exactly what I had in mind!” thought Nio.

While Kayla was playing, his phone buzzed. According to the mechanic, her a/c was fixed. This seemed odd to Nio, normally his mechanic would simply say “ready for pickup” and the whole car would have been thoroughly reviewed and repaired as needed. He put the thought aside as she returned to him.

“Oh, that was fun. I feel totally ionized. Guess you were right, ‘Dr. T.’ Your J. D. means ‘Doctor of Law,’ yes? The only problem is now I’m all salty and sticky. I don’t want to mess up your leather seats.”

“Don’t worry, there’s showers over at the pier where we parked. Last one there has to type legal briefs!” Kayla beat him, of course, and hosed herself off. Back in the car, Nio updated her. “Your car’s a/c is fixed, let’s go get it for you.”