Chapter 7

Spending so much time with the toys did have its drawbacks, though. It meant, of course, that my own penis was spending much less time inside of my sexy wife’s pussy. It was fun watching myself cum on her body, but it just wasn’t the same. On the positive side, it greatly decreased the odds that I would ever get her pregnant. Yes, I was in the habit of pulling out anyway but, still we both knew that using the Rhythm Method, we were basically playing Russian Roulette. I knew that SOME of my sperm was likely getting into her, particularly just before I’d pull out of her but, so far, luckily, we hadn’t gotten burned. Using the dildos, we could be assured that she would be safe, yet still sexually active, during her most fertile times.

The other two weeks of her cycle, I sometimes wished I could spend more time inside of her. Of course, I could - I always could! All I had to do was give the dildos a rest and fuck her like I used to, but I was kind of getting hooked on the dildos, too.

Looking back, I realize that I was so intent on training my wife to accept the dildos, I hadn’t realized how they were affecting me. The more I used them, the less relevant my own penis became to the entire equation.

Mind you, there was nothing “wrong” with my penis. It was a perfectly functioning, average-sized cock and I felt confident and “masculine enough” while we had sex but, increasingly, over time, the dildos somehow became more and more important to me. It was as if they were a turning into a kind of avatar for me, replacing my own sexuality. When I was using them on her, I felt a sense of power and machismo far greater than I felt using my own equipment. My mind would supplant the thrill of fucking her with my penis, with the greater thrill of fucking her with the dildos. When I used them on her, it was if it was me fucking her, but with whatever penis I wanted at the time. I could have a bigger penis one night, or a penis of a different color another, or a penis that could shoot twice as far as I was capable. I could live out even more intense sexual fantasies, vicariously, through the dildos. I could be whomever I wanted to be - more powerful, more virile. More and more, I found myself cumming just from watching Jackie cum on the dildo, usually without touching myself. It wasn’t premature ejaculation. In my mind, I just felt as if I were really fucking her, as if the sight of her pussy clamping down on the dildo was actually happening to me. I could practically feel it.

I was addicted to the power I felt while giving her bigger and bigger orgasms. It was hard to stop now, and I was obsessed with finding more and more new ways to push the envelope - more and more new ways to feel that high again.