Chapter 7

“Wait! Ray! It’s not going to be like that! Ray!” I rushed after my old friend as she retreated to my bedroom. Not out the front door and off across the city. Except, that thought wasn’t penetrating my thick panicked head.

“Well?” she turned on her heel and stared at me.

“Um ... Sorry. I was being childish. Part of me didn’t think they’d do that.”

“Well, part of you hoped they would,” Ray accused me.

“Definitely!” I agreed, nodding. “I like boobies. Tits too. Hooters are nice. I once got my eyes on a nice set of seagulls.”

“Seagulls? What the fuck? Oh, you’re being funny,” Ray frowned. “I really wish I’d laughed at that.”

“Yeah, me too,” I said. “But, I’ll get you next time.”

“Did you? Get it for me?” she asked.

“I don’t know what you’re asking,” I replied.

“Fuck ... You’re as smart as Theo,” she said and stroked her dark hair back from her face. “There’s a swimsuit in my bag. My bag is in the living room. You said you’d--”

“I’ll be right back!” I shouted and skidded on the hall’s hardwood floor as I took off to the living room.

“Whoa!” Emi hopped out of my way as I zipped through the kitchen. Anna, Dawn, and Iggy were out of the kitchen. Probably on the back step. I didn’t give them a moment’s thought. I rushed about the living room. It wasn’t by the porch. She hadn’t thrown it on the couch, next to the couch, or in front of the couch. I yanked open the porch closet. I ran back to the TV. I flipped a cushion.

“Shit.” I swore to myself. I looked out the patio door. Dawn was scrolling down the deck curtains, shutting out my neighbors potential eyes. Anna didn’t steal Ray’s bag, right? Fuck.

I hoped to hell shit wasn’t that petty. I didn’t want to referee a fight. I wouldn’t mind watching the girls wrestle though.

“May I present Lady Raymond Anastasia LeBooty!” Emi shouted and caught my attention. She stepped out of the hall and gestured with both of her hands as Ray came out from behind Emi.

“None of those are my name,” Raylene Marie McCormack scowled. She slumped her shoulders and covered her boobs. She was wearing a dark blue conservative one piece bathing suit. She nervously tried to hide her legs behind the other leg. It made her jiggle.

“C’mon!” Emi said. She threw up her wrists and struck a pose. “Like this!”

“I didn’t come here to--”

Ray looked at me. She at least moved her arms aside. Though she didn’t stand up straight.

“You look great, Ray,” I said.

“OK, you head out with the other girls. I’m going to help her remove her makeup,” Emi said.

“What? Why?” Ray retreated.

“Because we’re getting in a hot tub, not making ultra-black goth tea” Emi grabbed Ray by the shoulders. “Holy shit your ass looks great! Lucas! Check out leBooty!”

“Shut up!” Ray said, turning away from me and pulling her swimsuit bottom out from around her worth-checking-out ass. “Emi! Now he’s looking at me!”

“Yeah, he’s got great taste,” Emi said. She wiggled her ass at me. “Most of the time.”

“What does ‘most of the time’ mean?” I asked, but didn’t get an answer as Emi pushed Ray into the bathroom. I shook my head. I gave a cursory look up the open cupboard and was happy to see the brown paper bag had remained untouched. Anna could’ve reached or Iggy could’ve stood on a chair. It hadn’t been foolproof but they listened to me.

I felt good, better, smug as I stepped out onto the deck. A little bit of sunlight glinted in between the bamboo slats of the deck curtains. The view from our neighbors was mostly blocked by Dr LeMieux’s fences and Mrs Harper’s maple trees. Last night we had waited until it got dark. Now we were piling into the hot tub and it was hardly three pm.

Pulling down the shades made it more cozy and didn’t let us think of the world beyond.

“Hey!” Anna said and rushed over to hug me. She whispered in my ear. “Don’t spend too much time alone in your room with Ray. Think of Iggy.”

“It’s OK,” I countered. “Thanks for the hug.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled, blushing profusely as she walked over to the jacuzzi. Dawn was overseeing the maintenance. It was nearly full, nearly ready.

“You guys did a good job,” I said. “Thank you Dawn. Thank you Ig--”

Iggy still had my birthday card with the Pure Love Potion instructions. I tilted my head and looked at her questioningly. She stuck her tongue out at me and crossed her eyes.

“Are we having drinks?” Emi stuck her head out from the kitchen.

“I don’t drink!” Ray said from inside.

“No,” I answered Emi.

“Really? Some of us can be fun.” Emi stuck her tongue out at me.

Ray shut off the pump and I heard the rubber stopper pop. I twisted on Iggy in a second but she was already pouring the sparkling pink crystals into the tub. She had been using the birthday card to hide the dose of Pure Love Potion.

“What the hell?” I asked. Drugging everyone to be my love slave? “I didn’t think this would be like you at all, Iggy.”

“It smells nice,” Iggy said. “And look at my hair! Look at Anna’s! Super shiny! I didn’t change my shampoo or anything, so unless it’s tequila...”

“You guys like the smell?” Dawn said. “I mean, yeah the other stuff. Jesus, did you see Emi’s hair?”

“No?” I asked.

“He was looking at her boobs,” Iggy said, like it was a secret. I looked at her and she waved the empty test tube to all who stood on the deck. “Why not? This is all you used yesterday, right? Just the one dose you had on the bus?”

“It’s supposed to make you fall in love with me!” I pointed out. “Isn’t that ... I dunno ... Evil?”

“And you still did it yesterday?” Anna asked, glaring at me flatly.

“We’ve all met Katie. Lucas, your mother’s not a wizard,” Iggy rolled her eyes. “She’s a beautician.”

“Small business owner,” Anna corrected. “Big for a small business. She’s got like 20 employees. Mom and I and basically everyone goes there.”

“I don’t.” The girls looked at me like I was stupid.

“Your mom cuts your hair down in the basement,” Dawn countered. “So, I guess, technically, everybody but you goes to Katie’s Cuts.”

“She should’ve thought of a better name,” Anna frowned.

“A simple name hasn’t stopped her from moving from a dive apartment to this place!” Iggy waved at the hot tub. “She knows her stuff. Speaking of...” More magic fingers were directed at the hot tub. “We all ready to dive in?”

“I just wish it didn’t smell like salmon...” Dawn shook her head. I sniffed the air. No sandalwood, no salmon, no cinnamon ... Chlorine maybe? That probably wasn’t the bath salt. It was added as a tablet, it was probably some sort of salt and it was now in a bath. I didn’t have to take chemistry in senior year and I didn’t care to ask Dawn.

“You can’t smell it yet,” Anna said.

“Yeah, we’re supposed to let it dissolve,” I said. Dawn climbed up the hot tub and turned on the jets. I looked at her.

“Stirring water dissolves salt faster,” she said.

“Well what now?” Emi asked. She was carrying a stack of red solo cups and a two liter bottle of diet root beer. Ray came behind her with a big plastic bowl and two bags of Doritos.

“We kill half an hour?” I shrugged. “I didn’t plan this.”

Iggy snorted, laughing. I looked at her. “You? Plan?” She laughed again. Anna did as well. Dawn patted my shoulder. I took the mockery with overly pantomimed offense. Emi softly kicked me with her bare toes above my heel.

I looked at my second day of birthday partying. We six all stood out on the deck, in our bathing suits (and me in an additional t-shirt) quietly waiting for Ray and Anna to make eye contact and combust. They pointedly didn’t.

“How come we’re looking all hot and Lucas has his t-shirt still on?” Iggy asked.

“Demographics,” Emi said. “Lucas doesn’t have to compete with other boys for attention. Whereas I have to look hotter than Anna and Anna’s trying to look hotter than Dawn and Dawn’s now shrinking and covering herself making Iggy glow. Plus Ray’s brought new boobies.”

“And the folks watching at home are really just using Lucas as a dummy to impress themselves into and enjoy all of the hot teen girls parading around,” Anna said. She burnt horribly red when we all looked at her strangely.

“What?” Iggy asked.

“I mean, if you were a boy, wouldn’t you want to be in Lucas’s position?” Anna said.

“Cockblocked by Iggy?” Emi laughed. “Oh yeah, deny me, pretty girl! Keep my balls dangerously full of semen. Nurse! Code Blue! Nurse! Fishnet Stockings and Strawberry Flavored Condoms! STAT!”

“I forgot how loud you are,” Ray chuckled at Emi.

“Code blue is for a heart attack, not blue balls,” Dawn said. Standing up semi-confidently again.

“Oh, I guess I’m an idiot,” Emi laughed and fake-punched herself in the temple.

“You’re all idiots,” Iggy said, giggling. “Is it ready yet?”

She hopped foot to foot and ran over to the hot tub. She frowned at the bubbles.

“It’s just a hot tub,” Ray said. “We could hang out on the couch or something? It doesn’t have to be this.”

“Well, it’s kinda fun,” I said. I walked up next to Ray, picked a bag of chips out of the bowl and tossed it to Dawn. She failed to catch it and hastily picked the bag off the floor. I ripped open the other bag and poured everything into the bowl. “Over by the corner there.”

“Or on this convenient little table that will keep people from leaving crumbs in the water,” Emi said. “Oh! Do you have ice?”

“A couple of--”

“Ice cube trays next to the chicken fingers! Right, I remember!” Emi dashed into the kitchen.

“She’s excited,” I said.

“She had a crazy amount of fun yesterday,” Iggy said. She sounded a little off.

“And you didn’t?” I guessed.

“What? Of course I did!” I had guessed wrong. “It just went nothing like I had planned. The plan was terrible. I’m glad it didn’t happen. I was going to go home with Anna after you got too handsy.”

“I get handsy?” I asked.

“Too handsy,” Dawn elbowed me with a smile. “Handsy’s apparently OK.”

“Maybe you didn’t get too handsy enough?” Ray joked. Anna glared at her. Dawn and Iggy did their best not to react positively to Ray.

“Alright! Nope!” I said. I walked over nose to nose with Anna.

“No, what? Don’t tell me you’re going to pick her si--” Anna screamed as I lifted her up and ran the two paces to the side of the hot tub and pitched her in the water. Iggy and Dawn laughed excitedly. Iggy was already slapping her hands down on the wooden lip around the hot tub. She kicked her feet through her wrists and vaulted into the water.

“I still don’t smell anything,” Emi said as she came back with a small blue cooler jingling with a little bit of ice.

“Really, I got the--”

Ray shrieked louder than Anna. She hadn’t seen me ninja stride over to her. She was less awkward to heave up because she was nowhere as tall as Anna, but Ray was noticeably heavier. I did my best not to even jokingly make power lifter noises. That’s a joke I could make with Emi or Iggy, but I knew Dawn would hate it. I wasn’t willing to risk Ray’s feelings after such a long break in our friendship.

I walked backwards a step, the table was closer to the hot tub than where Anna had been standing. I rolled my back over the edge of the hot tub and backwards-suplexed Ray’s shoulders into Iggy’s chest. They both crumpled into the water.

“Shit!” I twisted, not having expected the feeling of the collision. I was about to scramble over the edge and make sure everyone was OK. Dawn grabbed at me to stop me. She grabbed my waistband of my shorts. She dragged those down to my knees.

“Yeah! This is going to be a party!” Emi shouted as she saw my ass. Dawn looked wildly at my cock. I stumbled forward and tried to pull everything back up under the bottom of my t-shirt.

“Oh my god!” Ray came out of the water and slung her hair back, whipping a scythe of water into my face.