Chapter 8: Sweet Sorrow

Friday, July 23, 1982

We all convened in the lecture room where we’d started our adventure almost three weeks ago around 3pm. Prior to that, we’d spent the time copying and filing. All that done, we had big piles of paper to take back.

Dr. Wood and Dr. Bennett waited up front for the stragglers to arrive. Once they had, Dr. Bennett spoke.

“Hello, everyone! Thank you for spending part of your summer with us!”

“We’re glad you came, and we hope you got everything you expected out of our program and more!” Dr. Wood added.

“Congratulations to the honorees from each program: Annie Baxter for best dancer, Meg Prince for best singer, and Kate McClellan for best interpretation, Cammie Clarke and Steve Marshall for top CX team, and Darren Wright for top speaker.”

I’d heard Darren and he pretty much had that nailed. He was up there with Ted Seiler. Unfortunately (or maybe not, if he focused on Extemp), his analytical skills weren’t up there with the top CXers.

“Thank you all for your adherence to our conduct rules...” Dr. Bennett said.

“Which you still have to follow until you’re out of our hands, though we recommend you continue until you get home!” Dr. Wood added.

Dr. Bennett chuckled. “That, too. We had very few students require major warnings, and no one had to be sent home this year.”

“Don’t blow it on the last day!”

“This marks the end of the official program. Obviously you have the rest of the afternoon to wrap up anything you want to, and we’ll all be around to answer questions, give you last-minute counsel, or anything else.”

“Thank you again for joining us!”

We all applauded, and that was that. Summer program done.

Cammie caught me just outside the door. “So, what’d you think?”

Angie joined as I was replying. I said, “I thought it went well. There’s always a tendency to second-guess, but I feel good about it.”

“Me, too,” Cammie said. “I’m glad I went.”

“Me, three,” Angie said. “Even with the ankle, this has been really good.”

Gail came over as we were talking. “Hey! What’s up?”

“We were just comparing notes on how we thought it all went,” I said.

She giggled. “Wellllll ... nah. It went great. I can’t really blame them for not wanting us to get frisky.”

Angie snorted. “Yeah. I mean, no one wants to send their kid to a summer program and get two kids back.”

Gail took a second, then blushed and giggled. “Oh, my! No ... no, that would not be good, not at all.”

The four of us took off to dinner, talking and joking.

Gail grabbed (yes, literally) my hand when we were heading out of the cafeteria. “Last chance for this, I guess. I don’t want to waste it.”

I gave her hand a squeeze, and we started walking back towards the girls’ dorm. Cammie and Angie were just a bit in front of us, giving us space.

We both stayed silent for a bit, then Gail spoke. “I don’t really know what to call this. We aren’t in love or anything, much less lovers, but ... I’m going to really miss you.”

I stopped and pulled her into a hug. “I’ll miss you, too. I think ... we could call it bad timing, but I’d rather call it ... a chance meeting. One that could’ve maybe been more, but could’ve been a lot less.”

She smiled, hugging back, then let go — except for my hand — and resumed walking. “Yeah ... that. I just wanted someone to want me, and ... well. Mission accomplished.” She gave a deep sigh.

“So. New mission: find someone to want you back home, and make sure it’s someone you want just as much.”

She chuckled. “Might be a tall order, but maybe not. I’m certainly going to try.”

“We’ve got each other’s numbers. I’ll be happy to hear from you anytime.”

“The same. And, who knows, maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Maybe so. I hope so,” I said, smiling. “When? Who knows?”

We’d neared the dorm by this point. Gail drew a deep breath. “We ... could still sneak off.”

“You don’t really want to.”

She bit her lip, then shook her head. “I thought...”

“There’s attraction and then there’s ... the rest. All things being equal, I’d love to, but all things aren’t equal. The last thing I want to do is to leave bad memories.”

She sighed again. “Yeah. No ... that’s exactly it. The part of me that wants to just ... wants to. But it’s not a good idea. Much too risky.”

“You take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will. You do, too. Of course, Angie and Cammie will be looking out for you.”

“They will.”

She giggled. “You could almost change Cammie’s mind, I think, except that you wouldn’t, and it wouldn’t stick.”

I’m sure I tried not to look shocked, but I’m also sure I failed. She giggled a bit more. “You thought I didn’t know? I knew. She’s lucky to have friends like you and Angie.”

“And I’m lucky to have a friend like Cammie.”

“Win-win. Always the best.” She took one more deep breath. “Until we meet again, Steve.”

“Until we meet again, Gail.”

We exchanged a hug and a kiss, then she turned and headed into the dorm, not looking back.

For a brief relationship that never went beyond some making out and not even all that much deep conversation, this felt like a breakup. I didn’t understand it, and I’d have to think it through. We hadn’t ‘loved and lost,’ because we hadn’t loved at all. Yet here I was, glad she didn’t look back, because I was trying to keep from crying and failing badly.

I dragged myself back to the dorm, got my things put away, then spent some time reading (or, more accurately, pretending to read) until it was time to call Jasmine.

I headed downstairs and called, not getting an answer. Just a couple of minutes later, the phone rang.

“Hey, boyfriend!” She sounded a trifle out of breath.

“Hey, girlfriend!”

“Sorry I’m late. Things ran a little late. How’re you?”

“Good. How’re you?”

“Breathless,” she said. “We were dancing our asses off and then I realized I needed to get on the phone.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Huh?”

“You have a really cute ass. You’d look really weird without it.”

That got her giggling. “Hah! Good one! I would, wouldn’t I?”

“Really weird.”

“How’d your tournament go?”

“We won.”

“Well, good! I was hoping!”

“Cammie had a great idea to switch which case we were running. Might have made the difference.”

“She’s sneaky. Gotta love that.”

“How’s your show prep going?”

“Soooooooo busy! Did Angie say how hers came out?”

“I think well. I didn’t get a ton of information. She still can’t dance, but she’s mostly just limping, now.”

“Poor Angie. Glad she’s feeling some better. And how’s Gail?”

“Gail’s good. She’s off packing.”

“You didn’t, I take it?”

“Nah. And I know what you think, believe me, but...”

“But you’d have risked bad memories and it didn’t make sense. I know, I get it. Sucks, but ... yeah.”

“How’s Blue?”

“She’s great. I wish I could keep her, but ... can’t. One more week, though. And then I get you back!”

“I’m really looking forward to it.”

“I am not doing this next year. ‘Whither thou goest,’ and all that. I’m not cut out for long-distance relationships. We’ve been apart too long.”

“I’m hoping we can all swing Northwestern next summer. It’d be more fun if we didn’t have to live in the dorms...”

“A lot more fun!” she said.

“But ... we can manage some things there we couldn’t here.”

“So ... packing tonight, and flying back tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll just call your house from now on. If you’ll be home Saturday or Sunday at 8pm I’ll call one or the other, too.”

“I’ll be home by 8pm tomorrow, I think.”

“Well, then! That’ll save me worrying about your flight! So ... what’s next for your summer?”

“No study group until you’re back. I may be researched out. I’ll sync up with the others as they get back from summers, and maybe that’ll trigger some library time, but, otherwise...”

“Totally quiet days? Is that even possible?”

I chuckled. “I don’t know. Lexi or Sam or Mikayla or Paige or someone might want some time.”

“Those hussies! They might. Jessica?”

“She won’t be back until the day before you’re back.”

“Well, if you see her first, say hi from me, I guess.”

“I will. I bet she’ll be busy with her family, though.”

“Probably. I won’t be. Not so much that we won’t have time.”

I chuckled. “Looking forward to it, Honey.”

“You’d better be! Okay, enough break. I need to go dance. I promise I’ll still have an ass when I get home.”

“Good! I love you, Jasmine.”

“I love you, too, Steve. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Well ... her reaction to things with Gail was better. That, or she’d just decided it was too late. I didn’t completely like her tone when Jessica came up, though. Maybe I was just hearing things.

Saturday, July 24, 1982

Angie, Cammie, and I had breakfast together, then split up to our dorms. I hauled my stuff to the girls’ dorm and met both of them around 10:30am. Gail was nowhere to be seen — probably for the best.

We called a cab, waited, and made it to the airport by eleven-thirty, in plenty of time for our two o’clock flight. We even had a row together thanks to some good planning.

Once through security (still oh so shockingly lax! I hadn’t lost my 2020s perspective on that), we found seats at our gate and settled in.

“So. Final thoughts?” Cammie said.

“I think I’m terrible at final thoughts and will have a bunch of them,” I said.

“Ditto,” Angie said.

Cammie rolled her eyes. “Fine. Final thoughts for right now.”

“Those aren’t final...” I started.

Whap! “Talk!” Cammie growled.

“I had a good time, we’re going back with a ton of evidence, we kicked ass, and we learned a lot,” I said.