Chapter 84: A Secret, Shared

Friday, February 18, 1983

Angie was again just late enough to breakfast that Mom and I could have talked, but we didn’t. Pretty much all Mom did was give me a somewhat significant nod when I got there and another when Angie and I were leaving for school.

It seemed like Angie nevertheless picked up on there being something afoot. Of course she couldn’t ask, though. I had to admit to a bit of amusement at the whole thing, especially since I was now nearly certain that it wouldn’t go too badly.

By the time we got to school, Angie would know that Mom almost knew, and Mom would know that Angie knew she almost knew. This was shaping up to be an interesting day for both of them, I thought. I almost chuckled at the thought that, for Mom, my open relationship was now the more conventional one.

Of course, we shared the car, and, of course, Angie asked about two seconds after the door was closed.

“What was that? At breakfast?”

“Mom asked who you were dating,” I said, as I got the car moving. “To be honest, she asked yesterday but asked me to not let on until today. I told her I could wait just one day, and I did.”

Angie’s face turned red. “Uh oh. Um ... and?”

“I said she should ask you. Not that I would have, but you never asked me to cover for you, and...”

“It would’ve been a terrible idea. I know. That’s why I didn’t ask you to. So?”

“She knows it’s someone, she figured out that it was someone I didn’t disapprove of, and jumped pretty much to the correct conclusion. Which I told her to ask you about.”

“What am I going to do? I don’t want to lie to her! And I’m not dumping Paige.”

“Sis, settle down. I asked her one question. An important one.”

“Not to ground me for life?”

I chuckled. “If that was an option, I’d still be locked in the bedroom. No. I asked her if it would bother her if you were.”

“And you’re still alive? Okay, that’s a bit much, but ... still.”

“She jumped right to what I hoped she would — that, if it bothered her, that would mean Lizzie bothered her, and she knew Doctor Ott could support Lizzie, to a point, anyway.”

“Interesting. Go on.”

“We talked a bit more, and I suggested she get her own thoughts in order before talking to you.”

“I’m going to hope that works out well, because it’s making me really nervous!” she said, wringing her hands a little.

“Me, too, of course. But ... I think it will. Mom doesn’t want to be all upset with you. She really doesn’t.”

“She doesn’t want me dating a girl, either!”

“Ang, stop. And I mean, really, stop! You’re missing something important, something I’m nearly certain you know subconsciously but haven’t connected. I didn’t either until right now.”

“What’s that?”

I smiled. “Who have you wanted to date for a long, long time, but can’t?”

“Carrie! Duh! But I can’t find her, and she wouldn’t be the person I know anyway! And Mom wouldn’t like that...”

“No, you’re missing it. Try again.”

“Seriously, that’s the ans...” She stopped, then turned and looked at me. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“But ... we ... I mean ... Mom...”

“Right. We can’t, and a whole lot of why we can’t is because Mom couldn’t handle it. You’ve been able to wait almost two years, and that’s just counting the time since we knew who each other really was, which is mostly what opened the door.”

She chuckled just a bit. “It was open a fair bit before that, but ... yeah. Fine. That’s a good starting point.”

“Now, don’t get me wrong. I really, really like Paige. She’s awesome, and I think you two are great together. But, if you really were scared of disappointing Mom...”

“I’d have waited. And I could wait, because like you just pointed out, I can wait. I’m not ‘crazy impulsive girl,’ not anymore.”

“The stakes are much lower, of course. You could break up with Paige, but you can’t just avoid me. Once we cross that line, it’s crossed, but you could step back from things with Paige. They’re not totally comparable, but...”

“But, yeah. I think you’re right. Fine. I’ll talk to Mom and ... it’ll work out. One way or the other. Um ... Dad?” she said, frowning.

“I ... don’t know. I don’t know if Mom would just leave him out of the loop, and ... I don’t know if she wouldn’t. That’s new ground, maybe. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t involve him if she thought they’d wind up really disagreeing, though.”

“Good point there. I agree.”

She went quiet for a bit, then said, “I actually can’t believe you waited a whole day.”

“I felt like I could give Mom that much time.”

“No, I meant you hid it from me well enough that I didn’t catch on and pry it out of you!”

I smiled. “I had to. If you’d known there was something, you would’ve tried to pry it out. I’d have had to say that I promised Mom I’d wait, you’d either guess or obsess about something else, and...”

“Yeah. No. You’re just better at it.”

“I promise I will never use any of those skills except in very limited instances, like this. Time-limited, and for something that won’t hurt you.”

She grinned. “I knew that! And, you know I can do that, but it’s the same. Limited time and only when it’s the right thing. So ... forgiven, but there’s nothing to forgive, so that’s easy.”

“Good. I did worry, just a little.”

“Nah. Never worry.”

We stopped at Jasmine’s, and Angie said, “Enough, and we should drop it. I love Jas, but I want to think this through on my own.”

“Sounds fine to me.”

I met Jas halfway to her house and, after a hug and kiss, helped her into the car, then headed off to pick up Angie’s girlfriend.

Angie fretted about Mom pretty much from Jasmine’s house to ours. I kept telling her not to worry, but she made the point that, if it was me and not her, I’d worry. I couldn’t argue with that logic. She had a point. If Mom was going to dig into my relationship (any of them), I’d have worried. There were unquestionably things Mom did not know that I really didn’t want her to know, or even suspect.

When we got home, Mom beckoned Angie off to their bedroom. I headed to my own room, putting my stuff away and settling down at my desk to do some homework.

About fifteen minutes (and no loud voices) later, Angie poked her head in the door, gave me a thumbs-up, and then went into her room. Mom came in just after, closed the door, then sat on my bed. “I’ve always liked Paige.”

“She’s really nice. And smart.”

“Angie could’ve done much worse. Well ... she has,” Mom said, chuckling. “But ... you know what I meant.”

“I do.”

She looked at me. “It bothers me, but mostly ... it bothered me for Angie, and I’m convinced that I’m overreacting. I just don’t want people being mean to her. She’s too ... special ... for that.”

“No one’s going to be mean to her. You only caught her because she lives here.”

Mom chuckled. “No one goes to a Singles Party and comes back freshly showered! Not that you didn’t get tripped up on that a time or two.”

“I survived.”

“Yes, you did. I have to say, I’m surprised. Surprised at myself. I don’t think I’d have believed that I could handle any of this just three years ago. I mean, three years ago we didn’t have any idea that Angie was about to move here and become part of our family, but ... this is ... it’s not even close to what I thought life might be like for my kids, much less something I could embrace, but here I am, and I’m not upset, not really. Not by either of you.”

“I’m glad, Mom. Believe it or not, we both care a great deal about not disappointing you and Dad.”

“Neither of you are in any way disappointments! Not since Max, and that wasn’t even the same thing. That’s part of the point. Angie’s either a disappointment or she’s not, and ... she’s not. I wouldn’t have chosen that for her, but ... if Paige were a boy I’d be just fine with it. So, I can just watch, and learn.”

I nodded. “They’ll be discreet.”

“Of course. And ... I think I’m going to wait a bit before I tell Sam. Not too long, but ... it’s like you, this morning. I can wait, but I can’t wait that long. You couldn’t wait even that long.”

“That makes sense.”

“I love you, both of you, so much. I just want your lives to be wonderful.”

“They will be, Mom. And a lot of that will be you and Dad. I don’t say it enough, but ... seriously ... I could not have asked for better parents. And, outside of Uncle Frank, of course, I know Angie feels the same way, and it’s complicated for her because it’s apples and oranges.”

She sniffled, several times. “That means more than you know, Steve. It just ... does. We ... that’s ... it’s what we wanted, when we picked you, just ... just to be good parents. To see our child learn and grow and become a good person. And it’s so scary!”