Chapter 16: Crawling Home

Teri

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like hell warmed over then allowed to cool again. What the fuck happened to—

Oh. Fuck. Not only had I freakin’ cheated on my steadies, I freaked on them last night when they reaffirmed that, yes, we are exclusive. I wasn’t sure what I said, but I was sure of one thing—there was no way I would forgive someone for what I’d done.

I had probably wrecked everything.

I didn’t cry. Then I saw their texts to me alone. Dana and Mike, separately, had both said the same thing: No matter what, we still love you.

Yeah, easy for them to say that—they didn’t know.

Dana also sent on our group chat, Feel better, love, we’ll talk tonight.

I went into the bathroom to cry—not that I cared about disturbing Sam, but for privacy. I realized the shower would be even more private. I stood under the streaming water until I ran out of tears. Then I tucked my grief inside me, the way I do with my anger.

When I got dressed, for all that Sam and Zoe could see, I was fine, just fine.

On the outside.

Sundays are our weekly collaboration meeting by video. For the first time, Zoe and I got on together, with Cal remote from Melbourne. We summarized the con so far, including what we’d learned from our signings, talking with bookstores, and trying to hand-sell at our table. All business of writing, instead of the work of it. Cal had been focused on editing the last novella of our still untitled sixth Downstar book, so little new writing from her. We’d have time enough, the rest of the week before Zoe returned home, for more focus. It was a short meeting.

We had an hour before our signing, at a different bookstore’s booth, after which we’d have to leave for the airport. Time enough beforehand for one last errand in the exhibitor hall.

Not that I knew why I was doing it, after what I’d done.

I scouted Creative Costumes from a few booths away, but didn’t see Demi. I watched a minute, took a steadying breath, and then started walking—only to see her leave the booth. She was dressed as yet another big-boobed anime babe, this time Lucy from Fairy Tail. I turned, smoothly I hoped, to look at the swirly glass jewelry at the booth beside me.

Demi went the other direction.

The swirls were beautiful, actually, clear spiral pendants with streaks of solid colors, done as necklaces and earrings. Nothing either me or Dana would wear, though. Nor Mike, if it came to that. Zoe maybe. Or Sam.

I had no idea where that last idea came from.

I thanked the maker and said I might be back—then squared up and walked to my destination. Denise was there, with my package. I allowed as how, while it’d be better to try them on now, I had an event to get to, and if adjustments were needed I knew an adult who’s a seamstress. (Never mind whether Dana’s mom would be speaking to me. Or whether Dana would.) I thanked Denise again and paid up.

As I passed the glass jewelry booth, following an impulse I didn’t understand, I stopped and bought two sets of matched earring + necklace spirals, one red and one green. I didn’t have a clue who I would give them to—maybe I’d figure that out by Christmas.

Just as I exited the row of booths, heading for the escalators, Demi stepped in front of me.

Aw, fuck. She was hot. Still hot. We were entirely and thoroughly over, not that we’d started really, but damn that girl was sexy. I’m attracted to more boys than girls, but Demi did rev my engines. And I didn’t have a fucking clue what to say to her.

She nodded slowly, looking me over. “I think, Ms Part-Bronson, we have some unfinished business.”

I squared my stance. No, I wasn’t worried I would be attacked—it just made me feel stronger. “I was thinking we didn’t, but I suppose we do.”

She gave me a faint smile. “I’m sorry that what we did made you uncomfortable, especially if you are in exclusive relationships.”

“I am.” Was. Or whatever.

She nodded acknowledgement. “I don’t regret kissing and won’t apologize for that. But if kissing gets you in trouble with your girl- and boyfriend, feel free to blame me.”

Fuck. Just, fuck me with a spiky roller-blade. “I don’t think that argument would work, but I appreciate the offer.” It certainly didn’t work for me. “I hate to stammer awkwardly and run, but I have to go check out before my next signing.”

Demi flashed a grin. “Sure thing.” As I walked past her, she cupped her tits and added, “Just think of these next time you kiss your girlfriend.”

Oh how nice it was to have someone else as a target for my rage. I called out behind me as I walked away, “Won’t have to—hers are just as big.” Well, technically Dana’s were a bit smaller, but on her petite frame the effect is every bit as boobalicious. The slight bending of the truth was worth it as a parting shot.

Fucking bitch.

It took more work, given the costumes, to get my suitcase closed. A lot more. It didn’t help that Sam was already done. I gave her a hard look as she sat on her bed. At least she seemed more pensive than smug. I hoped she wasn’t going to bring up what was talked about last night.

“Sports camps,” she suddenly said.

I paused for a moment. Nope—no context and no idea. “What?”

“Going to a lot of sports camps, you learn how to pack light,” Sam explained.

I could have snarled something about Who asked you?, but left it with just a grunt as I pressed down and yanked the last zipper closed.

I plopped on my bed and looked at Sam. She was, again, looking troubled. I decided to head off what was looking to be another awkward conversation with one of my own.

Except what came out of my mouth was, “Are you thinking you’re all the way gay or bi?” Right bam into her awkward topic.

She made a sad little snort of amusement. “Well, full gay would explain how few boyfriends I’ve had.”

I considered her a moment. “Even with trying my hardest to ignore your existence, I know for a fact that, by the time you were my age, you’d been with more than twice as many boys as I have.” Which for me would be a grand total of two guys (one awkward make-out session each) plus my steady boy.

That got me a weird look. “But nothing long-term, like you and Mike.”

“Have you ever gotten really turned on by a guy—just by being with him—the anticipation of what might happen between you two?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Then you’re bi,” I said firmly.

“Well duh,” Zoe said, sweeping in through the connecting door, rolling her suitcase. “Was there any doubt?”

“Apparently,” I told her. “Ready?”

“Ready—let’s rock those readers!”

The signing went okay. I managed personable without too much surly, but nothing like Zoe’s chatty signing persona. By the end, I was even more tired.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly as we headed back to the hotel to pick up our checked luggage.

No. Even a ‘not really’ was too far off the truth. “Ready to be home already.”

“I agree,” Sam said. “This place was kinda fun for a while, but there’s too many weirdos.”

“It’ll be good to see your home,” Zoe said. “And something of the wild west.”

“You taking her to Laramie?” Sam asked me.

I nodded. They did the frontier tourism thing better than Elkton. “And trail-riding.”

“With a chuck-wagon cookout,” Zoe added. “And hiking in the mountains.”

Sam nodded, apparently pleased. With—me?

How fucked was that?

While waiting in the lobby for the shuttle, I checked Raina’s inboxes. There was a message addressed to me, Teri—from a Creative Costumes business address. About the costumes? Except no, it was from that bitch, Demi.