Mike: I was thinking of practicing my comedy routine. Would you like to help?

Dotty: Okay. What do I have to do?

Mike: Just sit on my lap. See, you’ll be sort of like the ventriloquist’s dummy.

Dotty: And you’ll make me talk?

Mike: Some of the time. But sometimes you’ll make me talk.

Dotty: I’m not sure how that works.

Mike: We’ll work it out.

Dotty: So what will we talk about?

Mike: About the time we were walking to my mom’s house. It was a kind of narrow road but we were almost there. No sidewalks, but along the edge of the neighbor’s lawn they’d planted some flowers, orange lilies, and I didn’t want to step on them.

Dotty: That was nice of you.

Mike: Right. But there was a car coming up behind us. I could hear it. So we needed to walk single file or risk getting hit by the car, but you wouldn’t cooperate. It was as if you wanted me to get hit by the car.

Dotty: That wasn’t nice of me.

Mike: Right.

Dotty: Did you get hit?

Mike: No. I think the car turned off before it got to us.

Dotty: That was lucky.

Mike: Right.

Dotty: Are you going to put this in your comedy routine?

Mike: Maybe. Some things to smooth out. Anyway, I was carrying a camera bag. I’m not sure if there was a camera in it. But there was a catch on the bag, one I didn’t know about, and when I released the catch, the bag sort of exploded into a much bigger bag. It was orange. Almost the same orange as the lily, but a little muted.

Dotty: Exploded?

Mike: Yeah, inflated—like I guess an airbag in a car does when you hit something.

Dotty: Luckily I’ve never hit anything.

Mike: Luckily. So now the bag was much much bigger.

Dotty: How big are you talking about?

Mike: About the size of an alpaca.

Dotty: Hm. I’m not sure how big that is.

Mike: Or maybe a vicuña.

Dotty: I’m not sure how big vicuñas are either.

Mike: The plural of vicuña might be just vicuna. Same with alpaca.

Dotty: The plural of vicuña is alpaca?

Mike: Ha, you know what I mean. Maybe it’s true of all deers.

Dotty: You mean deer?

Mike: Right.

Dotty: I do know that vicuña has that cute squiggle over the N. What’s that squiggle called?

Mike: I don’t know, but I know what you mean. I like your squiggle.

Dotty: What squiggle?

Mike: Your cuñt squiggle.

Dotty: So my cuñt has one of those cute squiggles?

Mike: It does!

Dotty: Are you going to put all this in your comedy routine?

Mike: I am. When it’s mic’d, alpaca can sound really sexy. Almost as sexy as your cuñt.

Dotty: Are you going to mic my cuñt?

Mike: I am.

Dotty: Mike, you’re going to make me come.

Mike: I hope so.

Dotty: Oh. Oh Mike...

Mike: That was nice.

Dotty: It was. You made me feel so good. But I don’t think you can put that in your comedy routine.

Mike: I know, but that doesn’t mean we can’t rehearse.

Dotty: Mm, I like that idea. So we’re walking down this narrow road?