I got married young, for all the wrong reasons. It only took my wife and me a year before we realized it was a mistake. We parted on amicable terms, but I was gun shy about getting serious with another woman. My ex wasn’t so reticent and was married again within two years. She was doing fine and I was happy for her. I was doing okay, too. I was dating a couple of women who liked me in bed, but said I wasn’t husband material. That was fine with me. I only went out with them once a month or so. I got the impression I was an outlet for their libidos while they searched for a man who was husband material.

Not having a steady woman in my life wasn’t an imposition, really. I had plenty of time to pursue my hobbies, one of which is staying in good shape. I’m twenty-eight and some day I’ll look for a wife again. I’d like to look decent when I do it.

Since I don’t spend a lot of money on women, another of my hobbies is going all out to decorate for holidays. It’s mostly Halloween and Christmas, but I have a range of yard and porch decorations for fall and Easter and the 4th of July, too.

It was October thirty-first and my yard was decked out pretty well. I had goblins and a flying witch, with a little graveyard on one side of the walk up to my house. There was a blow up dragon and another inflatable vampire. There were cobwebs everywhere and ghosts floating from tree branches. I had found some electric lights that look like little pairs of eyes. They glow orange and if you string them up in a tree it looks like little demons might be sitting there watching you. On the porch I had a straw-filled scarecrow with a pumpkin head. It’s just coveralls over a checkered long sleeve shirt, filled with straw. I set him in a rocking chair on one side of my front door. He was actually a distraction, because on the other side of the door, below the doorbell, I had a box with an electronic spider inside. It’s motion activated and when someone gets close enough to ring the bell the top of the box opens and the spider jumps out. It’s about six inches in diameter and it makes a squeaking sound. I like to peek through the living room window to watch the reaction. It scares the crap out of kids, but not because it looks real. It’s just a surprise.

I had gone to the store that afternoon and loaded up on individually wrapped Hershey’s treats, and Almond Joy bars and so on. Kids like my house.

I was opening the bags and putting the treats in a big bowl when the doorbell rang. I heard a shriek. Served them right. It was only five P.M. I don’t hand out candy until seven or later. I went to the door to see who the cheater was.

I opened the door to find my best friend’s daughter standing there.

“Your stupid spider scared the shit out of me!” she breathed. She looked uneasy in a way that didn’t seem connected to the spider.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I knew this girl well. I worked with her father and I’d watched her grow up. She called me Uncle Danny sometimes.

“Nothing, “ she said, more forcefully than necessary. “Can I come in?”

“Of course, “ I said. I had attended Caitlin’s eighteenth birthday party only two days before. Once again I marveled at how quickly ... and thoroughly ... she had grown up. “What can I do for you? Please don’t tell me you’re returning your birthday present.” I’d gotten her a carrying case for the laptop I expected her to take to college with her.

“No. It’s nothing like that, “ she said.

“Okay.” I waited.

“I was just wondering, “ she said, fidgeting.

“Wondering what?” I asked.

“Would it be all right with you if I helped you hand out candy tonight?”

Now that was interesting. I was pretty sure a good looking eighteen-year-old could find plenty of fun things to do on Halloween. Like go to parties where there would be booze, most likely.

“I would be delighted to have your company, but surely you have better things to do than hang out with an old man.”

“You’re not an old man. Don’t fish for compliments, “ she said.

I had spent many hours talking to Caitlin. I usually played board games with the whole family on Friday nights, and they invited me to go camping with them frequently. I’d spent lots of times sitting around the campfire after her parents had gone to bed. They always yawned and pretended to be exhausted but both Caitlin and I knew they just wanted an excuse to get into their tent and have sex.

“Okay, I won’t fish for compliments. It still stands that a cute girl could find a lot more fun things to do than hand out candy with me. What about Rick?”

Rick was her boyfriend.

“We broke up, “ she said.

“I’m sorry. That’s too bad. I’m sure there are a dozen guys waiting in line to go out with you.”

“Maybe, “ she said. “I need to ask you something.” She was obviously distressed.

“Ask away.”

“The reason Rick and I broke up was because he said I didn’t know how to do something.”

“Something?” I raised my eyebrows.

She blushed and looked away.

“This, “ she said, lifting her partly closed hand and moving it in an unmistakable back and forth motion. “He said I do it wrong.”

The hours and hours I’d spent talking to this young woman as she grew up made this conversation surprisingly comfortable.

“Let me get this straight. He broke up with you because he thinks you jerk him off wrong?”

“Actually, I broke up with him. He said I was doing it wrong and he wanted to do more. I’m not ready for that yet. I’m a virgin and it’s too dangerous until I get married. He said if I really loved him I’d do it. My dad warned me about guys saying that, so I told him to take a hike.”

I remembered she was Catholic.

“Good for you, “ I said. “You should never cave in to that kind of pressure. You’ll know when the time is right.”

“Yes, “ she said. Her voice sounded slightly odd, but I chalked it up to nervousness about the conversation.

“Anyway, I don’t know if he was telling the truth or just trying to get me to do stuff. If I get a new boyfriend I want to make sure I do things right.”

“That makes sense, I guess, but sex comes naturally. It’s pretty hard to screw it up, no pun intended.” I smiled.

“I thought things were okay, but the two times I tried it for him I can’t claim they were raging successes.”

“They rarely are when you’re young and scared of getting caught, “ I said, smiling again.

“Well, I thought maybe it could be better if... “ her voice faded. I wondered where all this was going.

“If?” I let her think.

“Well ... I thought maybe you’d let me practice, “ she said in a rush.

I blinked. I wasn’t sure of her intent. She was biting her lower lip with pearly white teeth. Suddenly, it hit me.

“On me?” I asked, carefully.

“Of course on you, “ she said. “Who else do I know who I could ask to do that?”

I admit I preened a little.

“Caitlin, Sweetheart, any man would be ecstatic to be your ... um ... lab partner, “ I said.

“I can trust you, “ she said.

“No you can’t, “ I said immediately.

“You’re sweet, “ she said. “But you’ll stop when I say to or I’ll tell my daddy you were mean to me.”

Which is how I ended up naked on my bed with her kneeling beside me on the floor.

The only problem was that my little friend wasn’t cooperating.

“I’ve never seen a soft one, “ she commented, casually.

“I can imagine, “ I said. “I don’t suppose you’d take your shirt off. It would motivate me.”

Her eyes locked on mine. Then she lifted the hem of her T shirt up and off her head. Her arms went behind her in that impossible way only women can do, and her bra went slack. She let it slip down off her shoulders, and suddenly there was no problem.

“That’s much better, “ she said, as her nipples firmed up along with my member.

Something had to be wrong with Rick, because she was a natural. I gave her only a few verbal cues, and soon she had the right grip, and the right speed.

Everything was going fine when she suddenly stopped with a yip.

“Oh! I completely forgot!”

“What?” I asked, breathing deeply.

“I also wanted to try this, “ she said.

Then, with no warning, she leaned down, and surrounded the tip of my cock with loose lips.

It’s hard to describe what she did. It wasn’t a kiss, exactly. The head didn’t go in her mouth. There was no tongue involved. It was more like her lips hugged the tip of my penis gently. Then she tightened her lips as she pulled away, which made them sort of nip and caress the skin right on the tip of my cock. You know how someone bites the tip of a fresh soft ice cream cone with just their lips? It was like that.

She went back to her knees and licked her lips, looking thoughtful.

“It doesn’t taste like anything, “ she said.

“It almost did, “ I gasped.

“What do you mean?”

“You almost got a mouthful, “ I panted.

“No way, “ she scoffed.

“You just make sure you don’t do that any longer than you just did, or put it any deeper in your mouth, or you’ll find out the hard way, “ I said.

“Really? It’s that easy?” She was clearly amazed.

“It’s a whole different thing than what you were doing. Trust me.”

“Speaking of which ... should I continue?” she asked.

She was eighteen and could make her own decisions. If her father ever found out about this he would kill me and then do CPR to revive me so he could kill me again, but it was perfectly legal and ethical for me to do this with her.

“Oh, please, “ I begged.

Pretty soon she was going again, stroking me expertly.

“I like this, “ she said, happily.

“Not as much as I do, “ I panted. “Keep going like that until I tell you to speed up. Then tighten your grip just a little.”

“Okay, “ she said, already speeding up.

She did it perfectly. Her grip tightened and her hand sped up. I didn’t even have to help her. I felt myself go over the edge and, suddenly, I was shooting all over the place. Most of it went on my stomach and chest, but the bed spread was spotted on both sides of me as her hand wobbled. But she didn’t let go or back away. Instead, she continued to milk the beast until I had to tell her to stop because I was too sensitive.

My semen was already on her wrist and forearm, which apparently didn’t bother her because she reached, tentatively, and pushed the tip of her right index finger through a blob of the liquid on my abdomen. She smeared it maybe half an inch and then pulled the finger back to examine the tip.

She stood.

“I have a confession to make, “ she said.

“You do that with the priest, “ I sighed.

“No. I mean I fibbed a little bit.”

“Fibbed?”

“I didn’t break up with Rick because he wanted me to do too much.”

“What?” I was confused.

“I broke up with him because it wasn’t him I wanted to do those things with.”

“You lost me, “ I panted.

Her hands went to her belt, and loosened it.

“I’ve had a crush on you since I was twelve, “ she said.

Her fingers pushed at the waistband of her shorts.

“I think it’s more than a crush, now.”

“We can’t. Your father will kill me, “ I groaned.

“He’ll get used to it.”

She stood there, gloriously naked.

“But first, let’s see if I can get used to it.”

Now she took it in her mouth.

But only until it was ready to go where she really wanted it.

She got used to it rather quickly, all things considered. I suggested she be on top for her first time and she liked that idea. She made it clear after she groaned as she sank down on my Jolly Roger.

“I knew it would be good, “ she whined.

She was just as adept at learning to move on top of me as she’d been using her hand ... and mouth.

“I should be using a condom, “ I grunted as her pussy squeezed me so tightly that I wasn’t sure I could move inside her.

“No, “ she said. “I want everything to be natural.”

“It’s going to be natural very soon, “ I panted.

“Already?” She stopped to pout for a few seconds. “Young guys can go really soon again. Can you?”

“I thought you said I wasn’t old, “ I said, as I tried to think of anything except going off in her hot, sucking sex.

“You’re not, “ she said. “So that means you can go again soon, right?”

“Caitlin, you need to either stop or get off or your father will really kill me. He’s not old, either, not nearly old enough to be a grandpa.”

“He’ll get used to it, “ she said, leaning over to grind her clit against the base of my cock.

Her breasts were right there in front of me. They were fabulous breasts, with stiff little nipples set on quarter-sized coral-colored areolas. I sucked on one, trying to get her to cum so I could push her off.

She came, all right, and it sounded like a Halloween sound effect. Her moan extended into a banshee wail and her hips went into overdrive. I was toast and I knew it. I gave up and just let it happen. I don’t think I’ve cum that hard since my very first time, back when I was sixteen.

She stayed on, leaning down to get kisses, which she had foregone in her hurry to lose her virginity. We made out like teenagers, which was appropriate for her because she was a teenager. I have to admit I felt like one again. It was altogether incredible.

There was no buyer’s remorse. She hopped off of me, stood with her knees bent outwards and stared down at her flushed pussy lips.

“Does it always make a mess?” she asked, clinically.

“It will when you’re involved, “ I sighed.

She scampered off to the bathroom and cleaned up before returning. She stood, naked and unashamed.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be able to stand here like this and let you look at me, “ she said.

“I’ve had the odd fantasy about you, too, “ I said.

“Really?” She seemed excited. “I want to hear all about them.”

“All in good time, “ I said. “Won’t your parents want to know where you are?”

“They do. I told them I was coming over here.”

“And they didn’t find that odd?”

“I told them I was going to come help you pass out candy and get you to marry me.”

I blinked.

“No you didn’t, “ I said.

“Yup. I told them that now that I’m eighteen I get to do what I want, and what I want is to take you off the market.”

“I’m not really on the market, “ I said.

“That’s what Dad said. He said I didn’t stand a chance in hell.”

“No he didn’t, “ I said.

“Yes he did. He wished me good luck, but said you’d better let me down softly or he’ll beat you up.”

“He did not!” I gasped.

She came and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Danny, they’ve known I was crazy about you for years. I’ve been telling them I was going to marry you since I got to high school.”

“Paul never said jack shit to me about that, “ I complained.

“He said I had to wait until I was eighteen, to give you time to find a woman your own age. He said I couldn’t cry if you did.”

“He really knows you’re over here ... for that?” I asked, weakly.

She nodded.

“Does he have any idea what you had in mind to convince me to give up my wandering ways?” I asked.

“Well, duh. He’s not stupid, Danny. He likes you. So does my mother. You want to hear something funny?”

“I need to hear something funny, “ I sighed. “I might be in the middle of a heart attack. Something funny might bring me out of it.”

“My mother said if I can’t get you to marry me, then she might divorce Daddy and give you a try, herself.”