Cassie’s new couch arrived, and it looked fantastic. Plush leather, firm but not too firm, soft but not too soft. Perfect. Cassie had it installed in her favorite corner of the living room, and after the delivery guys left, she took a long soaking bath, then settled down on the new couch with a sexy book, a favorite drink, a cozy afghan, and the lights adjusted just right. But she hadn’t taken a sip of her drink or read a page of her book or even managed to cover herself with the afghan when she heard the key in the lock.

It was loverboy home from work.

“Hey, you look devastatingly lovely on that new couch,” he said, kicking off his shoes. “I can’t wait to fuck your brains out.”

Cassie shook her head. “No brains gonna be fucked out on my new couch. It’s staying a virgin for the foreseeable future. And then some.”

“But but but,” stammered loverboy, his pants already down around his ankles, his boxers significantly tented.

Cassie had to admit, he was awfully cute. And an awfully good lover. On the other hand, those popped out springs on the old couch did nothing to add to one’s passion. Less than nothing.

“Please,” pleaded loverboy. “I promise to be ... gentle.” That puppy dog pout. That big, popped out cock. Gentle wasn’t necessarily what Cassie wanted.

Still, she stayed firm. “No means no.”

Loverboy whimpered.

“Aw shucks,” Cassie said. “And you know what shucks rhymes with.”

Loverboy worked it out, and his eyes glinted with eagerness. “You mean...”

Cassie smiled and nodded toward the far corner. “Remember I mentioned that matching armchair? You can fuck my brains out there.”