Chapter 60: A Shared Vision For The Future

April 18, 1982, Chicago, Illinois

“How are we handling next weekend?” Huifen asked as we showered together on Sunday morning.

“The guys are available on Friday night, so the plan is to go to the bar in Bridgeport for burgers and beer. They’ll serve us there with no problem. Then you and I will follow our usual Saturday routine, then on Sunday we’ll have dinner with my aunt and uncle. I can only hope my cousin is somewhere else, but I suspect she’ll be there.”

“She’s that bad?”

“You have NO idea,” I said, shaking my head. “If you look up ‘spoiled brat’ in the dictionary, her picture is there. She was the reason I moved out of my uncle’s townhouse much sooner than I’d originally planned.”

“That seems to have worked out well, though.”

“Yes, it was just a matter of not having the reserves I felt I needed at first, but I made it work.”

“And now you’re getting a significant raise in June, so you’re in even better shape.”

“True. That’s the next rung on the ladder.”

“And after that?”

“If things work out the way I want, an analyst on Mr. Matheson’s team. Basically, I’d follow the news, do research, and try to predict how currencies will move based on interest rates, inflation, and economic growth.”

“Doesn’t that need a lot of math?”

“It’s more about predicting currency price movements based on the information I mentioned. There aren’t any mathematical models which predict the future with any level of certainty or accuracy. I’d like to develop some, eventually, but even the best statisticians haven’t come up with anything that can match the performance of Spurgeon’s stock, commodity, and currency traders. In a sense, it’s similar to evaluating financial reports, where what you really concern yourself with is quarter-over-quarter and year-over-year performance, but I can do that just by looking at the numbers. I plan to create a spreadsheet so I can see the longer trends at a glance, and that’s where I’ll need your help.”

“You absolutely need the math classes I suggested, plus a stats class or two.”

“They’ll have to be after the computer class I signed up for. I can’t really manage more than one class per semester, though I think I’ll take one next Summer. I couldn’t this Summer because of my promise to Bev.”

We finished in the shower, got out, dried ourselves, then dressed. We worked together to make breakfast and sat down to eat.

“What day do you go home?” I asked.

“June 5th. That’s the Saturday after classes end. I fly back to Chicago on August 21st. You might be gone the day I fly home because of Bev, right?”

“I might. What are you doing over the Summer?”

“Working for my mom, which is what I’ve done since I turned fifteen. I hostess, mostly. I’ll also see my friends from High School, and my relatives, of course. You’ll see your mom when you go home, right?”

“Yes.”

“Does she know about us?”

“She knows I’m dating, that’s all. I’ll tell her our plans when I see her in June. I told Bev about you.”

“And about your escapades?” Huifen asked with a sly smile.

“In so many words, yes.”

“And?”

“She was very surprised about it, because I’d never dated nor done anything with anyone except her. Not that she was upset, just surprised. I’m not the same person I was when I left home, and she’s noticed.”

“That’s true about all of us,” Huifen observed. “Shelly, Bianca, Julianne, and I are all Freshmen, and are not the same girls who left home last August. And it’s not just sex, but being more or less on our own and having to manage our own lives. It’s the big transition, just as you moving here from Ohio. Basically, we’re all becoming adults.”

“My mom and Bev’s dad both basically treated me as an adult when I turned sixteen, but I get what you’re saying.”

“You’re also more on your own than any of us, because you’re working and paying your own way, while all of us have help from our parents. I have told them I’m dating someone, but that it’s not serious at this point. I’ll tell them more when I’m home.”

“You know, I never asked Shelly or Bianca if they spoke to their parents.”

“They did, but they each told their parents they’d have one or two roommates, and left it at that, which makes sense.”

“It does until their parents visit and see me! I don’t know much about Shelly’s family, but Bianca’s is pretty conservative, from what I understand.”

“They are, but they have a tradition that girls are basically women at age fifteen when they have their «quince».”

“What’s that?”

“It literally means ‘fifteen’ in Spanish and usually the family throws a big party for the girl. They’re common in Southern California, where there are a lot of Mexican immigrants. Even if her dad doesn’t accept that she’s sexually active, he will see her as an adult. And, to be honest, I think she’d be more worried that he finds out about her and Shelly.”

“I hadn’t considered that angle.”

“Because you simply don’t care what consenting adults do. Nobody taught you to hate gays or lesbians or immigrants or minorities. Racism, sexism, misogyny, and xenophobia have to be taught.”

“Misogyny?”

“Basically being a male, chauvinist pig.”

“Ah, OK. My mom wouldn’t stand for that for one second, and neither would Bev. And I can’t imagine you would, either.”

“Let’s just say you wouldn’t have got to first base with ANY of the girls if you were a misogynist! And you obviously don’t have a problem with immigrants.”

“Neither you nor Bianca are immigrants!” I protested.

“But our parents are, and a lot of people see us that way, even though we were both born here.”

“By that standard, everyone who isn’t an American Indian is an immigrant!”

“There are a lot of people who don’t see things that way. Kind of like many Christians object to same-sex relationships.”

“That one I’ve experienced. Lily’s brother is gay and was disowned by his dad.”

“That’s sad.”

“I agree.”

We finished our breakfast, cleaned up, and then I walked Huifen to the L. Once she was safely on the platform, I walked back home. About thirty minutes later, I put on my sneakers, grabbed my Reds cap, and headed to Violet’s house. She was waiting on her porch and quickly walked to the sidewalk so we could head to Comiskey Park. I’d checked the distance, and it was an hour’s walk, but if we took the L, we could be there in less than thirty minutes, so I suggested that and Violet agreed.

Twenty-five minutes later, we got off the L at IIT, and walked across the 35th Street overpass on the Dan Ryan to Comiskey Park. We found our gate, and Violet handed over our tickets. Once we were through the turnstile, we followed the signs to our section and found our seats, which I felt were pretty good. The Sox were taking batting practice, Greg Luzinski, Carlton Fisk, and Harold Baines swung strong bats, making great contact and peppering the field with solid hits.

“The Sox have won their first seven games,” Violet said. “They’re looking really good.”

“And the Reds will likely finish last in the National League West. They traded George Foster, Ken Griffey, and Ray Knight. When I was home, the local paper predicted they could lose a hundred games this season.”

“They used to be so good!”

“I know,” I replied, shaking my head. “And last year, they had the best record in all of baseball, but because of the strike, they didn’t make the playoffs. That was a travesty. In some ways, ‘79 was worse, as they won the National League West then were swept by the Pirates in the playoffs.”

“Still better than the White Sox and Cubs! Or any other Chicago team!”

“So true.”

When the Sox batting practice ended, we went to a concession stand, and each got a hot dog, potato chips, and a Coke, which we took back to our seats. We finished eating, then took a walk around the upper deck before returning to our seats to watch the game. We stood for the National Anthem, then watched the Sox escape in the top of the 1st, saved from giving up a run on two Orioles singles and a walk by a double-play and a strikeout.

In the bottom of the 1st, the Sox scored three runs on a single by LeFlore, a walk by Kemp, a single by Luzinski, an error by the shortstop on a line drive, then a single by Fisk. With the score 3-0 in the first, it looked as if the Sox were going to cruise to their eighth straight victory. They added a run in the bottom of the 3rd, on a single by Luzinski who scored on Paciorek’s double, making it 4-0.

The Sox were in complete control until the top of the 5th, when Koosman gave up two singles and two doubles in succession, before inducing a ground out to second and striking out the final batter. The Sox still led 4-3 and failed to score in the bottom of the 5th. The Orioles tied the game at 4-4 in the top of the 6th on a double, a Sox error, and a single.

The Sox scratched out the go-ahead runs in the bottom of the 7th, when after a walk and a single, they pulled off a double steal, inducing an errant throw by the Orioles catcher, allowing both runners to score, making it 6-4, chasing Scott McGregor from the mound, inducing the organist to play and the fans to sing the traditional Sox taunt —

“Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, hey-hey, GOOD-BYE!”

LaMarr Hoyt and Salome Barojas held the Orioles scoreless in the 8th and 9th, and the game ended 6-4, two hours and forty-five minutes after it had begun. After the fireworks went off, Violet and I left the stadium along with the other 34,320 fans, and headed to Cork & Kerry, where we had Italian beef sandwiches, fries, and Cokes, while listening to the live music. When we finished eating, we decided to walk home.

“That was fun!” Violet declared as we headed west on 33rd Street. “I looked at the schedule and the Sox are out of town most Sundays in June. They’re here on the 13th, but from what you’ve said, that’s right around the time your friend is due, so I think our next game would have to be in July. Would you be OK with a game on July 25th? That seems like the best day.”

“That sounds good,” I replied. “I’ll put it on my calendar.”

“I’ll get tickets this week. The daycare where I work is only about four blocks from Comiskey. My treat, again.”

“OK,” I replied. “I know it’s far in advance, but in January, I’m probably going to take a math class, though I don’t know which one. I need to basically get a refresher and catch up so I can take a pair of statistics classes.”

“Why statistics?”

“For work. If I’m going to be doing analysis, I need some amount of statistics to be able to understand trends. A lot of it is about world events, politics, and so on, but some of it is financial. It’s similar to my friend teaching me about spreadsheets which led me to understand I need at least one computer programming course.”

“I do need at least one math course as part of my core, so that will probably work for me, too. When you find out which one, let me know and I’ll speak to my advisor.”

“Have you thought about what degree you want?”

“Yes, but I haven’t decided. At some point, I’ll go full time, but Doctor Lochner doesn’t think I’m ready for the stress that would induce.”

“What happens?” I asked.

“You mean when I’m under stress? Panic attacks. I almost had one that first night in class when I sat next to you.”

“I’m really sorry about that,” I offered.

“You didn’t know. As Doctor Lochner said, you behaved the way she’d expect a typical nineteen-year-old male college student to behave. But you also figured out something was wrong and didn’t push me away. And now you’re my friend, so it all worked out.”

“I learned a valuable lesson,” I replied. “And that is not to take things unquestionably at face value. I tend to be blunt and direct, and you’re teaching me to be more, well, careful about that. I was going to say ‘subtle’, but that implies simply changing tactics, not changing my mindset.”

“You’re sensitive,” Violet said.

“I’m not sure I’d go that far,” I chuckled. “I’m pretty much all business and don’t let things get in the way of what is probably best said as ‘cool-headed analysis’, but could also be called ‘cold-hearted logic’.”

“That’s hard to believe! You don’t treat me that way.”

“I was referring more to my thought processes than to my actions. I can tailor my actions to that cold-hearted analysis. I’ve never been emotional and I doubt I ever will be. I don’t say ‘I love you’ very easily, and have only said it to two people in my entire life — my mom and my High School girlfriend. And even with her, it wasn’t until after we broke up.”

“Wait! That makes no sense!” Violet exclaimed as we turned north on Halsted Avenue.

“Oh, it makes perfect sense for me!” I countered. “Bev and I never fell in love because we just loved each other from the time we were in grade school. It never needed to be said, really. Then, after she got pregnant, and we sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk, we both said it. But it wasn’t lovey-dovey, it was really just an acknowledgment of the truth.”

“But not enough to want to marry her?”

“We discussed that, and neither of us is ready for marriage or for a family. I have a choice, but she really doesn’t, at least with regard to the baby. Well, once she decided she was going to have it.”

“What do you think of abortion?”

“I think it’s a medical procedure, and it’s up to the woman and her doctor. It really isn’t anyone else’s business in any way, shape, or form.”

“How would you know when you’re ready to marry?”

“That’s an excellent question. I think the actual concern on my part is my ability to care for a child. I’m just getting a handle on caring for myself!”

“You seem to be doing OK.”

“I suppose you could say I had some practice growing up because my mom and I both worked so much, but it’s different being completely on my own. I wouldn’t have the first clue about taking care of a baby or raising a son or daughter.”

“But do you think you will when you’re older? You know, say twenty-five?”

I chuckled, “Probably not, but at least my wife and I would have time to be a couple and prepare for something like that.”

“I thought you and the girl back home were a couple.”

“Oh, we were, I just didn’t realize it until after we’d said ‘goodbye’ and I’d moved here. And I think living together is very different from being a couple.”

“I guess I don’t understand. If you love her, and she loves you, why not be together?”

“I don’t have an answer to that question,” I admitted.

I asked myself why I was ready to live with Huifen, but not Bev, and all I could think of was Bev’s baby. Had it been my baby, I would have felt obligated to marry Bev, and, of course, to learn how to care for my own child. But at nineteen, the idea of having a child scared me, and I honestly didn’t think I could handle it. And after my conversations with Bev, I was pretty sure she agreed with me.

“Well, I don’t claim to understand anything about relationships, so I guess there isn’t much for me to say. I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard.”

“You haven’t asked any questions I haven’t been asking myself since I saw Bev at Christmas.”

And I kept coming back to the same answer — I loved Bev, but I was not ready to be a dad. I wondered how much that had to do with not having a dad of my own; well, not one I ever met, anyway. The only experience I had was with Bev’s dad, which was a very different thing. We walked the rest of the way to Violet’s house in silence, and once she’d gone inside, I headed to my apartment.

Once I was home, I called my mom and let her know about the promotion.

“That’s wonderful, Jonathan!” she exclaimed. “We’ll both start our new positions in June! Have you spoken to Bev?”

“Last Sunday, and I’ll call her when we’re done. Did something happen?”

“No. I haven’t seen her for a couple of weeks and I wondered if she was having trouble with her pregnancy.”

“If she is, she hasn’t said anything. She did say that she’s been tired and takes naps.”

“That’s normal at this stage,” my mom said. “She’s due in less than two months, so she’ll be even more tired as she gets closer. How are things between the two of you?”

“Fine. I still plan to be with her when she gives birth. I have the car arranged with Uncle Alec and the time off arranged at work. I’ll probably only be able to stay two or three days, depending on when she delivers. On another topic, I found a new place to live. Some friends and I are going to rent a house close to Loyola University. It’s a short walk to the L for me to get into the city and I’ll have a lot more room than my one-bedroom apartment over the garage.”

“I know I don’t have to ask this, but you worked out a budget, right?”

“Yes. I can afford it even without roommates, so with roommates, it’ll be easy.”

“I’m proud of you, Jonathan.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll call you in a couple of weeks.”

“Take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up. I got a drink of water, then dialed Bev’s number. Her mom answered and called her to the phone.

“Hi, Jonny! How are you?”

“Great, actually. I received the promotion I told you about. It’s effective June 14th.”

“That’s awesome! Congratulations.”

“And I found a new place to live, starting July 1st. I’ll be renting a house with some friends.”

“That’s awesome! Which friends?”

“Two girls from Loyola. They’ll have their own bedroom, and I’ll have mine.”

“Two girls? Interesting!”

“It was their suggestion. They really want to get out of the dorms, and having roommates allows me to save and invest more. They have three more years of school, and that’s the timeline I have to climb the next rung on the ladder after this promotion. Are you all set with UC for the Fall?”