Chapter 55: Inflection Points

March 8, 1982, Chicago, Illinois

“What will Mrs. O’Connor say when you go to the house this morning?”

“I don’t care,” Lily said as she accepted the plate of sausage and eggs I’d prepared.

I sat down with my own plate.

“She might tell your priest,” I said.

“I don’t care about that, either. Thank you for letting me sleep with you. I wish we could have done that when we were dating.”

“What will you do today?”

“Go to school. I mean, I can’t change anything, and sitting around home doesn’t help. My friends are all at school except you.”

“Do you know what happens now?”

“There will be a funeral mass, but I don’t know when. Mom will probably want a wake, too. I guess the deacon from the church will come by and help mom with all the arrangements. That’s one of his jobs. Will you let me stay again tonight?”

“How about you see what’s said when you go into your house to get ready for school, and then we’ll talk about it tonight when I get home from class?”

“OK,” she said. “Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” I said. “I want to help, I’m just being careful.”

“I understand. Could I have a hug?”

“Yes.”

She stood up, I hugged her, then we sat down to eat our breakfast. She went to the house, and I got ready for work. It was still far too cold to ride my bike, so I left the apartment at 7:00am, heading for the L, hoping that everything went OK for Lily with her mom and the lady from church. As I walked, I realized I hadn’t ever known anyone who had died before Paula and Mr. Andros.

My mom’s friend’s husband had died in Vietnam, but I had never met him. His funeral was the one time in my life I’d been in church. I was sure Mr. Andros would have a funeral at his church, though I didn’t know quite how that would work. If it was during work hours, attending would be tough, because I wouldn’t get paid time off the way I would for a relative. That presented a dilemma that I’d address with Mr. Nelson when I arrived at the office.

The more pressing concern was Lily’s request to sleep in my bed for another night. I’d been concerned the previous night, but Lily had done exactly as she’d promised — worn a tracksuit and simply cuddled with me while we slept. She hadn’t even kissed my cheek, and other than a few hugs, there had been no other affection. That said, I was concerned about Mrs. Andros’ reaction, as well as establishing a pattern, which would have to break on Wednesday, no matter what, as I was determined not to do anything to mess up my relationship with Bianca.

Thinking back to my conversation with Anala, and her concern I could be manipulated, I felt there was really only one conclusion. It bothered me, because I felt bad for Lily, but as much as I wanted to help her, I didn’t think I could allow her to spend another night with me. A second night could lead to a third, and so on, and I could easily find myself in a relationship by inertia, and that could only turn out badly.

“How did things go on Friday?” Nick asked when I walked into the mailroom.

“They asked the same basic questions as they asked the first time. I think it was a waste of time to have Mr. Kassan there.”

“I can almost guarantee that they behaved because he was there,” Nick said.

“Well, whatever the case, I think they’ve hit a dead-end.”

“Which is when they find someone, anyone, who they can pin it on. That’s why I called Sam Kassan.”

“It’s really that bad here?”

“It really is.”

The workday was busy as usual, but with no out-of-the-ordinary requests or problems. I clocked out at my usual time and hurried to the L so I could get home to eat a light meal before class. When I arrived at my apartment, there were two cars I didn’t recognize in the driveway, and I assumed those to belong to whomever it was who was helping take care of Mrs. Andros and Lily.

My time was limited, so I really couldn’t stop in and talk; that would have to wait until after class. I fixed my dinner, ate, then grabbed my textbook and notebooks and headed to Circle, ready for the quiz. As usual, Violet had a stick of gum for me, and as usual, we headed to the coffee shop after class.

“The quizzes seem easy,” she observed after the waitress poured our coffee.

“That’s because we do our homework and review together after every class.”

“We make a good team!” Violet declared.

“We do. I hate to ask, but would you be upset if we left about fifteen minutes earlier than we usually do?”

“No. Why?”

“My landlord passed away yesterday, and I want to stop in to check on his wife and daughter before it gets too late.”

“Whoa! What happened?”

“He had a heart attack after contracting pneumonia. I don’t know what caused his pneumonia, and his daughter said that they had thought he had a severe cold.”

“That’s so sad. How old is the daughter?”

“Eighteen. I’d guess her dad was only about forty-five.”

“That’s really young.”

“It is,” I agreed.

“Did you know him very well?”

“Not really. I mean, I had dinner with them a few times, and I spoke to him when I paid the rent, and that kind of thing, but that was it.”

“Do you believe in God?”

“No.”

“Me, either. My parents took us to church when we were little, but after what happened...”

“Any god who existed would have a lot to answer for,” I said. “And I’d hold his or her feet to the fire for all the evil things done, not just by his or her followers, but in the world in general.”

“At first, I prayed for it to stop, but eventually I gave up. I only went to my counselor after my sister got pregnant.”

“By your dad?” I asked, being careful to keep the shock from my voice.

“Yes. She told me she had missed her period, and that’s when I finally got the courage to tell someone.”

“Is it OK to ask a question?”

“I think I know. My sister had an abortion. Well, I think DFCS had a judge sign an order, because my sister wasn’t able to function.”

“I’m sorry to have brought that up.”

“It’s OK,” Violet said. “Doctor Lochner says I should talk about it, and I trust you. I think I told you that first night when I revealed it to you that nobody knows except those who had to, for some reason. You’re the first person I ever told.”

“I appreciate the trust,” I said. “I’m just totally out of my depth here.”

Violet smiled, “You listen and you don’t judge. That’s exactly what I need.”

“Judge? You were the victim!”

“And even so, I was diagnosed with a mental illness and people judge me the same way they do soldiers who suffer from the same thing after being in Vietnam.”

“That makes no sense to me!”

“I know, but it’s the truth. Most people who are treated by psychiatrists have that stigma for years, if not their entire life.”

“That is so wrong,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not your fault, nor the soldiers’ faults.”

“No, it’s not, but that’s the way it is. Shall we do our homework so we can finish before you need to leave?”

“Yes.”

We actually finished a bit earlier than I needed, but Violet insisted we leave so I could visit Lily and her mom. I walked Violet home, then hurried to my apartment to drop off my book and notebook, then went back down to the house and knocked on the back door.

“May I help you?” a woman I didn’t recognize asked.

“I’m Jonathan, and I rent the apartment over the garage from the Andros. May I see Lily?”

“No. Mrs. Andros doesn’t want her to see you.”

“Pardon me,” I said, “but Lily is eighteen, and an adult.”

“Be that as it may, please leave. Good night.”

She shut the door, I stood there for a moment, then turned and walked back to the stairs that led up to my apartment. I climbed the stairs, let myself into the apartment, and after taking off my shoes, I turned on the computer and put on the kettle for tea. I sat down with the Wall Street Journal and turned to the stock listings. I updated my spreadsheet with the closing prices from Friday, made my tea, then settled on the couch to read the Journal.

When I finished reading the Journal, I picked up the Tribune and skimmed it, paying attention to articles on the economy and foreign policy, both of which had significant implications for the prices of stocks, bonds, and commodities. I also paid attention to news about technology companies, as I had stock in Apple, Hewlett Packard, and Advanced Micro Devices in my portfolio. I also had stock in Walmart, Proctor and Gamble, Johnson & Johnson, in the consumer segment, plus Exxon, AT&T, CG&E, and a few others.

I didn’t have many shares in any of those companies, but I was slowly adding some every week with the combined cash from my salary and Jeri’s funds. Overall, my portfolio was doing well, but what Murray Matheson did was much more challenging, and potentially much more lucrative, and the gains could be realized much quicker than with trading shares. The idea of moving money around the world was also intriguing, and I felt it would be much more interesting than analyzing companies and buying stocks.

I finished the paper by reading the comics page, then brushed my teeth, emptied my bladder, undressed, and got into bed. I set my alarm, turned off the light, and quickly fell asleep.

March 9, 1982, Chicago, Illinois

I woke with a start, unsure why, and looked over at the clock to see that it was 1:37am. Seconds later, I heard a knocking at the door, and I knew it had to be Lily. Nobody else I could think of would show up at 1:30am, except perhaps the police, and the knock was far too tentative for what I expected something like that to be.

I got out of bed, pulled on a pair of shorts, and went to the door to find Lily standing there in her tracksuit. The blast of cold air gave me goosebumps and threatened to chill my one-room apartment, so I reluctantly let her in and closed the door.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Father Leary and Mrs. O’Connor told Mom I spent the night with you. I told them we didn’t have sex, but Father Leary heard my confession before so he doesn’t believe me.”

I almost sighed out loud, but caught myself just in time.

“You probably shouldn’t have come up here,” I said.

“They’re all gone and Mom is asleep. I wanted to talk to you. I know it’s around 1:30am, but I had to tell you what happened.”

“OK. You should probably go back before your mom wakes up and finds you missing. If she does, there will be hell to pay. And the last thing I need is trouble with your mom.”

“You have a lease, you pay on time, and Mom needs the rental income, so don’t worry about that.”

“It’s still not a good idea to upset her further.”

“Will you hug me, please?”

I nodded and took her in my arms. I held her for about five minutes, then lowered my arms.

“I wish I could sleep in your arms again,” she said wistfully. “It made me feel so safe.”

“And if you were my girlfriend, I’d seriously consider challenging your mom, but you aren’t.”

“You sleep with other girls who aren’t your girlfriend,” she countered quietly.

“This really isn’t a conversation for almost 2:00am,” I said gently. “Go back to your bed and we’ll talk later.”

“Mom won’t allow it.”

“Let me sleep on it, please. I’ll come to the house tomorrow after I get home from work and see if she’ll let us talk.”

“I doubt it.”

“All I can do is try,” I replied.

I saw Lily frown in the dim light, but there really wasn’t anything I could do about it at 2:00am, and I needed to sleep. She turned and left the apartment and I closed and locked the door behind her, took off my shorts, and got back into bed. Fortunately, I fell asleep after a few minutes, and slept soundly until my alarm rang.

I rose from bed and quickly accomplished my morning routine, then left for work at the usual time. There was a single, different car in the driveway, and I assumed there was some kind of rotation of people from church who were staying with Mrs. Andros and Lily, and, in a sense, guarding Lily against me, despite Lily being an adult, and against her wishes. I wondered if any of Lily’s friends had visited her and made a mental note to ask her if I managed to see her later in the day.

During my lunch break, I called Anala to cancel our coffee, wanting to try to see Lily and not knowing how it would go. We agreed to meet the following Tuesday. At the end of the day, I left as usual and hurried to the L to head home. When I arrived, there were two cars in the driveway besides the Andros’ Chevy. I walked past them and went to the back door of the house and knocked.

“I’m here to see Lily,” I said to the woman who opened the door.

“And you are?”

“Her friend.”

“You’re the boy who rents the apartment, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not welcome here.”

“Excuse me, Ma’am, no disrespect intended, but Lily is an adult and she wants to speak with me. She specifically asked me to speak with her.”

“And Father Leary and Mrs. Andros have both said you are not welcome. Good night.”

She closed the door, and I stood on the porch while I considered what to do. Lily was correct in that I had a lease, and that I paid on time, and that I followed all the provisions, but I wondered if there was some way they could kick me out and break the lease. I wasn’t sure, so I went up to my apartment and got my copy of the lease from the drawer where I kept important papers like my birth certificate.

I read the lease and saw that it could only be terminated by Mr. Andros if I breached any terms of the lease, which I had not. It also said the lease would be assigned to his heirs and successors in the event he passed. I reread each provision carefully and was positive I hadn’t violated any of them. I had receipts for each month’s rent in the drawer as well. Confident I’d be on solid ground, at least with regard to having a place to live, I went down to the back door of the house and knocked again.

“You were told you weren’t wanted here,” the woman said sternly.

I ignored her and called out.

“Lily, it’s Jonathan!” I said in a loud voice. “I’m here to talk to you as you requested.”

The door was summarily slammed in my face, but I waited. Through the glass in the door, I saw Lily come towards the kitchen, only to be blocked by the priest. On impulse, I tried the knob, and to my surprise, found the door was not locked. I pushed it open, but stayed on the back porch.

“Excuse me,” I called out. “You’re holding Lily hostage, and if you don’t stop, I’ll call the police.”

The priest turned, “You’re trespassing young man!”

“I am on the stairs, outside the house. Lily obviously wants to speak with me. You need to allow it. She’s eighteen, after all.”

“And her mother has forbidden her from speaking to you as a corrupting influence!”

My first thought was to say that HE was the corrupting influence, but I knew that would only make things worse.

“But that’s not her mother’s call,” I said. “Nor yours. Ask Lily what she wants.”

“Son, close the door and leave.”

“Don’t go!” Lily hollered, pushing past the priest.

She successfully moved past him and hurried out the door. I wasn’t quite sure what to do, but one thing was certain — taking her up to the apartment was a bad idea. The problem was, she didn’t have a coat, and the temperature was about 25°F. That seriously limited my options and the time we could stand outside.

“Are you OK?” I asked.

“Not really,” she replied as the priest came to the back door.

“Get back inside, Lily,” he ordered.

“No,” Lily said. “I’m going to speak to my friend. We can do it in the kitchen or I can go up to his apartment. One of those will happen.”

“He’s not allowed in this house!” Father Leary declared.

“It’s half mine,” Lily said. “I know that’s what my dad’s will says.”

“Honor your father and mother!” the priest declared.

“Love your neighbor as yourself,” I retorted, remembering the phrase from when I was little.

“Do what you must, Liliana. There will be consequences.”

He turned and walked back down the hallway away from the kitchen and I took the now shivering Lily into the kitchen and closed the door behind us.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “When Mrs. O’Connor discovered I’d spent the night in your room, she called the priest and they convinced Mom that you’re a bad influence.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “From their perspective, I’m sure I am. But I only care about what you think. Is it true that the house is half yours?”

“Yes. Dad specifically wrote that in his will. She can’t kick me out even if she wanted to. Or you, because I have a say about that, too.”

“Do they have arrangements for your dad?”

“Yes. The funeral mass is Thursday morning at 10:00am, and the burial is after that at Mount Carmel. Do you think you could attend?”

“I don’t get time off for funerals, except for relatives, and I don’t have any vacation days before June. I’d have to talk to my boss tomorrow to take the day off without pay.”

“Don’t do that,” Lily said. “The priest will probably have a fit about you being there and I know you don’t believe.”

“Yes, but I’d do it for you, if you want me to.”

She smiled, “I do, but ... never mind.”

I had a pretty good idea what she was thinking, and even if I thought getting back together in any fashion was a good idea, doing it when she was in such an emotional state was an awful idea. That said, the only way to deal with that was to get her to say it.