Chapter 27: Stumbles

November 18, 1981, Chicago, Illinois

When it was time for lunch on Wednesday, I hadn’t answered the question Anala had asked. Logically, I knew I’d given Rachel the first chance, as it were, and several more chances along the way, before I’d gone to bed with Lily and cemented our relationship. And in all those attempts, we’d come back to the same point — she couldn’t accept my lack of faith, and I couldn’t reconcile hers to the world I observed. Sex was a conflict, but I had to assume that given her behavior, she could deal with the fact that I’d been sexually active, and not lived up to her ideal.

Anala had strongly suggested a baby step, but that seemed to me to be a betrayal of my commitment to Lily, such as it was. On the other hand, having lunch with Rachel every day wasn’t something I’d told Lily about, and even as ‘low maintenance’ as she was, I felt that might bother her. I shook my head, trying to clear it, and walked off the elevator on the ground floor to join Rachel for lunch.

“Hi,” I said, sitting down across from her.

“Hi,” she replied. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“After we had lunch yesterday, I was really depressed and I had a long talk with Mary and Elizabeth last night, as in, we finally went to bed about 2:00am. I actually didn’t get much sleep because I was thinking about everything. You know I like you a lot, right?”

I nodded, “You’ve made that clear.”

“And you like me, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And you want to go to bed with me, right?”

“I don’t meet your most basic preconditions, so it doesn’t really matter, does it? I mean, leaving aside not being married, which I know is important to you.”

“What if there were no conditions?” she asked quietly.

“But there are,” I protested. “I remember you telling me that Mary said you should try to convince me to go to church that way, but, well, may I be blunt?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t imagine any sex good enough to make me join your church.”

Rachel sighed, “I don’t even know how to respond to that because I have zero experience.”

“It turns out, it’s surprisingly easy to learn,” I replied with a smile. “But I think Mary is wrong in her approach.”

Though, given how smoking hot Mary was, I had no doubt some lucky High School boy would gladly agree to go to church with her in exchange for a chance to sample her charms.

“But if church weren’t a condition?”

“Then I’d be worried that at some point, down the road, you would regret your decision. I mean, can you really just turn off your faith that way? And if you could, why didn’t you do it back in July?”

“I don’t know,” Rachel sighed. “I just know I’m hopelessly in love with you.”

I had no clue what to say to that, as nobody had ever said anything like it to me in the past. Bev and I never, ever, said ‘I love you’ to each other, and Lily and I were dancing around those words, both trying to figure out our feelings and what the words meant. The few other girls I’d been with, it hadn’t even come up, even with Teresa who I’d dated for several months.

If I were a typical Spurgeon male employee, I’d have quickly tried to use what she’d said to get her into bed, and then toss her away like a used tissue. But I couldn’t do that to her, nor could I do that to Lily, which presented a problem with moving forward with Rachel in any way, assuming that’s what I wanted to do. The problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and I had a number of conflicting impulses. And until I figured out what it was I wanted, I had to be extremely careful with my relationships.

“Say something, please,” Rachel begged.

“I’m not sure what to say,” I replied. “You kind of dropped a bomb on me there.”

“Men are so clueless!” she groused.

“And I’m probably more clueless than most,” I replied. “I didn’t have my first steady girlfriend until after I moved to Chicago, and so far I’ve only made it through about a month. I know for sure I don’t understand the nuances of flirting or that I can tell how a girl really feels about me unless she tells me. And I know I’m not very good with hints from women, or men, for that matter. I’m just a kid from a rural area of Ohio who likes and understands plain talk. I’d never make it as a diplomat in a million years.”

“I told you I’d go to bed with you.”

“And give up your most prized possession for what? A chance that I’ll become Catholic? A chance that you’ll decide it’s all a crock? That things will work out and we’ll marry? That’s a heck of a wager! And one I’d say you’re more likely to lose than win because I can’t promise you what you really need me to promise to do that with you.”

“But I said no conditions!” Rachel protested.

“Yes, you did, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, I don’t believe it. Your faith isn’t that shallow. It was obvious from the beginning that it defines who you are and controls what you do and how you think. And that’s perfectly OK for you, but it’s not something I can accept.”

“But it’s not perfectly OK for me! If it were, would I be here? Would I be trying?”

“And you really think I’m worth the struggle?”

“Yes,” she said quietly.

I didn’t see it, but then again, I really only had about six months experience with dating, and maybe a month with what I’d call a serious relationship. That said, as Anala had pointed out, I continued having lunch with Rachel, despite the gap in our views of the world. And if I could figure out why, that might provide a way forward, though what that way might be I had no idea. And until I did, we really were at an impasse.

We finished our lunch in silence and other than ‘bye’ when we parted to take separate elevators, nothing more was said.

“Jonathan, Mr. Nelson needs to see you,” Kristy said when I returned to the mailroom.

“OK,” I replied, turning and heading to his office.

“What’s up, Boss?” I asked.

“I just wanted to ask how things are going, from your perspective.”

“We’re managing, but just barely. Fortunately, we haven’t had any special runs where one of us has to leave the office. If we do, then we’re screwed.”

“I told Nick that if we get any calls like that to let me know, and I’ll handle it with the Big Boss and use a messenger service. No matter what some people think, you can’t put ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag!”

“Boss, did you just say the mailroom is a bag of shit?”

Mr. Nelson laughed, “Would you disagree? I mean the job, not the people.”

“I think I’d need a few beers before I could say something like that, and definitely not where the walls might have ears.”

He laughed again, “Wise. If anyone bitches, or you run into an impossible situation, let me know right away. And keep up the good work!”

“Yes, Boss!”

I left his office and returned to the mailroom.

“Everything OK?” Kristy asked.

“Yes. He was just checking to make sure we were getting all our work done. You being here has helped a lot, because otherwise I’d have to do all the rounds myself. That didn’t work at all. It’s tough enough for two guys to cover all the work, let alone one. Did anything come up while I was at lunch?”

“A copier was acting up. Nick went to check.”

“It boggles the mind how often those things break down. Anything else”

“HR brought some memos for you to distribute this afternoon. Something about cost-cutting measures.”

“We were expecting those. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why take a year off between High School and college?”

“I spent the entire Summer in Europe! Thirteen weeks of taking trains, staying in hostels, and generally partying the whole time. In the Spring, I’m going to Australia and New Zealand. I wanted to do all the traveling before I went to college.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Have you ever traveled?”

I shook my head, “No. Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, and Illinois is the complete scope of my travels. What do you plan to study?”

“Business with an accounting minor. I want to get an MBA. How come you didn’t go to college?”

“It’s a long story,” I replied. “But I am taking a class starting in January.”

“I’m a good listener!”

“I have a steady girlfriend,” I replied.

“And you’re faithful to her? Working here? That’s a first! Most guys here wouldn’t mention it and just have fun.”

“Integrity is important,” I replied.

“Oh, it is here, too, but sex doesn’t count!”

“You sound as if you don’t have a problem with it.”

“Why would I? Let’s just say there are some very good fringe benefits available here if you know the right guy! Especially if you’re a teenage girl!”

“I don’t believe I qualify,” I chuckled. “In case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Duh!”

“I don’t think I can compete,” I replied.

“I heard you want to work your way up.”

“That’s true.”

“So you’re ambitious, in great shape, and nice looking.”

“And going steady, remember?”

“If you change your mind, I’m here through the end of the year.”

“I’ll keep that in mind!”

I went to my workstation and refrained from shaking my head in disbelief. There HAD to be something in the water which made every woman in the building want to have sex with someone. I was like the proverbial kid in a candy store, but I had a sneaking suspicion that if I ate all the candy available, I’d end up with a metaphorical stomach ache.

The afternoon was busy, but I was able to leave on-time, which was a good thing, because I really looked forward to my Wednesday dinners with Lily.

November 19, 1981, Chicago, Illinois

“Thanks for having dinner with me today,” Uncle Alec said when we sat down at the 95th restaurant atop the Hancock Building where Spurgeon Capital was located.

“I’m really sorry about Sunday dinners, but I felt I was creating significant tension, and Lisa was never going to see me as anything but an interloper. And it only got worse when Jeri spoke to me.”

“Lisa can be difficult, but I think that’s fairly common amongst twelve-year-old girls.”

But it wasn’t just that she was twelve, it was that she was spoiled rotten, had every whim met by my uncle, and was never disciplined. That was a recipe for disaster, and I hoped, for my aunt’s and uncle’s sakes, she changed before she got into real trouble, trouble my uncle’s money couldn’t buy her way out of.

“Hopefully, she’ll grow out of it,” I replied.

“They usually do by the time they’re in their late teens. Your friend back home and your girlfriend here are seventeen or eighteen right? Along with the other girls you dated here.”

“Bev and I grew up together, and she was always cool. Maybe it’s a difference between the big city and rural areas. Obviously I didn’t know any of the others before they were eighteen, except Lily who was seventeen when we met. And Jeri seems like a really nice girl.”

“Do I detect something there? You remember she’s only fifteen.”

“Yes, I remember she’s fifteen, and I was just commenting on the difference in personalities, that’s all. Aunt Wendy is concerned about Lisa.”

Alec nodded, “I know. But Lisa will grow out of it, I’m sure. It’s the quiet ones you usually have to watch out for.”

I chuckled, “I don’t think Jeri is going to turn into a serial killer.”

“Probably not! How are things at work?”

“I survived Black Friday, as some people are calling it, and I’m still on track for promotion to Nick’s job when he leaves next Summer after he finishes law school. I haven’t been able to see Mr. Matheson, but everyone on 32 has been preoccupied.”

“No doubt. The markets are all a mess, with the exception of fixed-income, but the problem there is people aren’t taking out mortgages and municipalities aren’t issuing bonds at anything near normal levels. Interest rates are crushing everything.”

“Which is the point, given inflation was quickly spinning out of control in a stagnant economy, something economists said couldn’t happen.”

Uncle Alec smiled, “You’ve been reading! Economists are soothsayers, and great predictors of the past!”

I laughed, “Nice.”

“It’s true, really. They develop models which accurately explain what happened in the past, then try to use those to predict the future. It rarely works because markets aren’t rational, at least the way most people understand that word. They are chaotic systems, like weather, and predicting their behavior accurately is very difficult. I’m sure you’ve run across the Harry Truman quote, right?”

I nodded, “Give me a one-handed economist. All my economists say ‘on one hand... ‘, then ‘but on the other... ‘”

“Exactly right!”

“So how do you make money in times like this?”

“Mostly through income from the properties. Things I own generate income, and I’ve been very careful to select properties which are unlikely to sit empty, except perhaps in a depression. And in a depression, all bets are off. At least now, unlike before 1974, you can hedge by owning precious metals, and I have some in my portfolio.”

“I remember learning about President Roosevelt seizing all the gold, and I could never understand how the government could simply declare it illegal to own gold one day, seize all of it, then change the price so they could print more money.”

“You must have had a good history teacher, because most people don’t know that last bit.”

“Mrs. Pater was really good. She taught us quite a bit that wasn’t in our books. It was one of the classes I enjoyed the most in High School, well besides shop class. And I’ve read conflicting opinions of gold and silver as a hedge.”

Uncle Alec nodded, “The ‘gold bugs’ are very vocal, and their opponents can be just as vocal, but, like most things, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. The term stems from the presidential campaign of William McKinley.”

“From Ohio.”

“Yes. His supporters took to wearing gold jewelry to show their support for the gold standard against the ‘silver menace’. And I’m sure you know the phrase from William Jennings Bryan.”

“The ‘Cross of Gold’ speech?” I asked, remembering from one of the books I’d checked out from the library after I’d read the ones Anala had suggested.

“Exactly. He, and the Democrats supported ‘bimetallism’ and ‘free silver’ to help the economy grow, while the Republicans supported the gold standard to ease international trade, especially with Great Britain. US policy has been all over the map, until Nixon formally ended the gold standard about eight years ago.”

“Which, in part, caused the oil crisis, right?”

“Yes. When Nixon closed the ‘gold window’ which allowed foreign countries to redeem dollars for gold, and currencies were allowed to float freely with the end of Bretton Woods, OPEC decided to price oil in gold rather than dollars. Then, in case that wasn’t destabilizing enough, they enacted an embargo because of the Yom Kippur War.”

“That was right when you were getting started, wasn’t it?”

“I graduated in 1972, and we made our first deal that year. I made enough on that one building flip to create a diversified portfolio, and I was careful to select income-generating properties, as I mentioned.”

“Do you only have property in the Chicago area?”

“That’s where most of it is, but I have some downstate, and some in Milwaukee. I know the areas really well, and that’s how I’m successful, even with the Prime Rate at 16.5%.”

“How quickly do you think it’ll come down?”

“It’ll take another four or five years to get back to single digits, but I wouldn’t count on pre-crisis numbers anytime in the next decade, if even then. Inflation is a real problem when you can just run the Treasury printing presses twenty-four hours a day. And that takes us right back to the argument about the gold standard, money supply, and hard currency! But forget finance, how are things with Lily?”

“Really good,” I replied. “She’s my first serious girlfriend so I’m learning how it works.”

Uncle Alec laughed hard, “Jonathan, that’s a life’s work for all men! Wendy was my first serious girlfriend. I dated a lot in High School, but never got too serious until I met her. And I’m still learning after being with her for fourteen years.”

November 20, 1981, Chicago, Illinois

On Friday, I took Lily to Morton’s The Steakhouse, courtesy of Spurgeon Capital. I’d arranged with my uncle to borrow a car, because it was a special evening, and handed over the keys to the Mercedes to the valet before going into the restaurant. We were seated quickly as I’d made reservations earlier in the week.

“Are there any limits?” Lily asked as we perused the menus.

“No. The gift certificate is for any amount up to $125. We can’t order alcohol, so I don’t think we’d hit $125 no matter what we order. And we can use the certificate for the tip as well. We have more than enough for a full meal and dessert.”

“Chocolate!” Lily declared. “Something outrageously chocolate!”

“After you eat your dinner, young lady,” I teased.

“You sound just like my mom!”

“I know!” I replied with a smirk. “I heard her say that at dinner on Sunday!”