Knut was nervous when he phoned Sarah. If this worked out it would take their relationship to a new level, or -- at least -- extend the brief time they had alone together. “This is Knut. Is this a good time?”

“It’s fine. Billy’s in bed.”

“So’s ‘Becca. Look, they’re both going away on Friday?”

“Yes.”

“How’d you like to eat out Friday night?”

“That would be fine.” Which was delightful to hear.

“Assyrian?” he asked.

“Pardon.”

“The Middle-Eastern restaurant.” After their date there, they’d gone back to her apartment and necked like teenagers. Maybe, those memories would start her juices flowing.

“Great.”

That accomplished his purpose, except to hear her voice. He dragged the call on for that purpose.

He resisted the temptation to call again before Friday night. Then, however, he had a perfect excuse. “This is Knut. Is this a good time to pick you up?”

The answer shocked him “Well, I don’t know. You might not want to pick me up at all.” There was a long pause. “I’m a total mess.”

“You’re a sweet woman,” he answered. “If you mean in dress, this isn’t the fanciest place in town.” For that matter, they could eat elsewhere. He could get carry-out, and they could eat here in his apartment.

“I mean physically. My period just started.”

Damn! And women were all different in their feelings about that. For him, it would be an entirely safe time for a bareback ride. But he could tell that this wasn’t on her agenda. “Well, that doesn’t affect my feelings about you. It might well affect your feelings. Do you really want to cook something for yourself tonight? Why don’t you come for the dinner, and then we’ll play it by ear?”

He kissed only her hand when he picked her up. Poor girl was suffering but she was delightful company. In the car going back, he asked, “I have another movie. Do you feel that sociable?”

“Fine,” she said. “But it can’t go any further.”

What did ‘no further’ mean? “Well, we ought to establish some ground rules, then. Are your breasts sore -- too sore for my touch, I mean? For that matter, do you object to any touch right now? Or do I get to kiss you so long as you stay dressed? Really, you’ll have to set the rules. Candice was a woman, but she was a different woman.”

“You’re not disgusted?”

That was a weird term. Disappointed, maybe. “Why should I be disgusted? It’s not affecting my hormones. I just don’t want to give you any unwanted attentions. I wouldn’t feel disgusted; I might feel rejected.” But she didn’t really set the ground rules.

In his apartment, he went after it a different way. “Are we still agreed that when I cross some line, you’ll tell me? You won’t freeze up?”

“I told you,” she said. “I didn’t freeze up.”

“That’s true. And I’m very grateful. Look, I get into bad moods sometimes, and I don’t deal with roomfuls rooms full of adolescents -- not that some clients are much better. When you don’t want to deal with anybody, tell me so. I won’t feel rejected. If it’s something I have done, on the other hand, tell me that, too. Maybe I can change. Not that I changed the thing about the back seat, but -- at least -- I explained it. Anyway, I can’t change what isn’t brought to my attention. I’m not what you’d call a sensitive, intuitive, person.”

She was taking this very well. Now for the touchy point. “On the other hand,” he continued, “I do give great massages, even if I say so myself. It always made Candice feel better. Want to try?”

“You’d do that for me?” She seemed receptive.

“Entirely and absolutely for you. I wouldn’t get any pleasure myself in touching the areas of you which need massage right now. Or don’t you believe that?”

“I’m not sure,” she said smiling.

“Just because I so enjoyed touching you there when you didn’t need a massage?” he asked. “I really have to work on my story. Want to try?”

They tried. He got her out of her outer clothes, then out of pantyhose and panties. He really needed the access to give a good massage. He couldn’t find an excuse to remove her bra, though, and she’d said that her breasts were too sensitive right then to be touched. He took some of the kinks out of her shoulders and back first, then got down to rubbing her belly to ease her pain.

He should leave her alone. She’d said she wasn’t in the mood. He’d stop the first time she told him to, stop when she froze up. But, when she did tense up, she wasn’t showing rejection. He stroked her labia and even her sweet clit. She moaned when she came, almost bringing him with her. It was the sexiest sound in the world, even sexier than her laugh.

Then she blushed. Could she be concerned over that sexy sound? “Nobody can hear you,” he reassured her. “Billy’s miles away.”

Now, she might rest. He covered her with the sheet and laid her robe on the bed. He’d have liked to stay there and watch her, but she deserved her privacy. He didn’t want to behave like a dirty old man when she could catch him.

He caught up on his reading until she came out. “I’m sorry,” Sarah said, “I dropped off. Not much company, I’m afraid.”

“Well,” he replied, “I’ll take the sleep as a compliment. I did miss your company, but I manage to bear that deprivation six days in the week -- sometimes more. Want to watch the movie now? Want to take a shower?”

“Not a shower, but I need to use the facilities.”

“I don’t mean to nag,” he said when she returned, “but do you want to watch the movie now?”

“Let me get dressed first.”

He kept reminding himself that she didn’t want to be touched right now. He couldn’t resist a hug when she laughed, though.

At the end of the picture, he did give her a small kiss. “Thanks for the dinner and movie,” she said. “Thanks for the massage. Thanks for not starting the movie until I was ready. Thanks for being thoughtful.”

That was a lot of thanks. “The massage was my pleasure,” he replied. “Oops! The massage was a gift to you; I didn’t enjoy it at all. As for starting the movie, it was a comedy.”

“Huh?”

“I like watching it, of course, but the real pleasure is hearing you laugh. You have a sexy laugh.”

She laughed the sexy laugh again. He was on a roll. “Knut, you’re impossible. You plan out a date, and I ruin it. You give me a massage, and I fall asleep. You provide the entertainment, and all you can say is that I have a sexy laugh.”

“Well, you do have a sexy laugh.”

“Knut, I love you,” she said. “You keep seeing the good points of everything I do.”

“Will you marry me?” he responded. Oops! Women like to hear a declaration of love first. “Backtrack. One, I love you. Two, will you marry me? Three, you don’t have to answer right now; you can think about it. I have my bad points, as you’re painfully aware. But I do love you, and that should count for something.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said. Her face looked like she was thinking, not like she was either accepting or rejecting. “And, now, I do think it is time for me to go home.”

“Need the car? Or should I walk you?”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“In the first place,” he reasoned, “this is a safe neighborhood, but it’s not that safe. In the second place, I enjoy your company; why should you deprive me of that just because you’re an independent woman? I know you’re an independent woman. Remember that the first time I saw you, you were escorting Billy around the neighborhood in an outfit you’d made yourself. Didn’t make ‘Becca half jealous, either.”

“It made Rebecca jealous? Billy wanted to buy the Batman costume.”

He couldn’t resist that opening. “See? We’re compatible. You can sew, and I can rake in the bucks.”

“Knut, you’re impossible!”

“Sarah, you’re beautiful.” He kissed her before leading her out the door. That one didn’t seem to bother her, so he took a few more liberties during the kiss before he left her at home.

As long as she hadn’t said ‘no,’ he was better off. He wasn’t going to mention it unless she did, or she said ‘I love you’ again. Or, at least, until she came to his apartment again when ‘Becca and Billy were away.

His vacation came up. He and ‘Becca did some things locally, but the zoo was on their usual agenda. “Why don’t I invite Billy?” he asked Wednesday when ‘Becca mentioned the zoo.

“And his mom?” Damn! ‘Becca was sharp.

“It might be polite, but I’ll bet she’s working that day. C’mon, you enjoyed showing him around the museum.”

‘Becca came around. Billy appreciated her hamburgers, after all. ‘Becca didn’t have so many fans that she could afford to displease one. Now, there were only two other people to win over.

He called late that evening. “I’m taking ‘Becca to the zoo next Monday. Would Billy like to go along? I know you’ll be working. I’ll be on vacation. We’re not going away this year.”

“Billy’s not awake,” she said.

“I knew that. Well, I expected that. You don’t have to answer now. It’s just that, if he wanted to and you didn’t want him to, you should have a chance to say ‘no’ before he hears about it.”

“It sounds like a good idea to me.” But, as she didn’t mention his proposal, neither did he.

Billy wasn’t that reticent. Knut had been afraid of some argument over the front seat. Instead, Billy got in back and let Knut check his seat belt. ‘Becca, who would have made a fuss if she were placed in back when no adult was in front, spent the first ten minutes telling Billy about all the ‘neat stuff’ at the zoo. When she ran down, Billy asked, “Mr. Gustaf?”

“It’s ‘Gustafson,’ Billy. A real long name.”

“If Mom and I move in with you, will I sleep in ‘Becca’s room?”

Knut managed to keep from running off the road, despite his own reaction to that question and ‘Becca’s scream. “That isn’t under discussion, Billy. I’ve asked your mother to marry me. If she does, we’ll all live in the same house. But it won’t be my present apartment; it will be an entirely different place. You’ll have your own room; Rebecca will have her own room.” Let’s not mention just yet that mommy and Mr. Gustafson will be sharing the same room.

“Daddy,” shrieked ‘Becca in a voice not much lower than her previous scream.

“You’re talking too loud, ‘Becca. I can’t hear you.”

She dropped her voice. It was still too loud for the present situation, but no longer painful. “Daddy, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, there is nothing to decide until Mrs. Jenkins says yes or no. Not much to talk about if she says no, for that matter. Clearly, she feels she needs to consider Billy’s reaction.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“You like her. If she marries me, she’ll teach you to cook something else.” Which was promising something he hadn’t even asked Sarah about. Well, she’d suggested the first lesson.

“You could have asked.”

“But you wouldn’t put me in Sarah’s room?” Billy asked again. Second grade, it was a horror; if this marriage went through, he’d be sneaking peeks at ‘Becca in well less than a decade. Well, in a decade, ‘Becca would be at college.

“No. You’d have your own room. Your mother and I would see that you kept it clean, but Rebecca wouldn’t come in unless you invited her; and you wouldn’t go into ‘Becca’s room unless she invited you.”

“Absolutely never!” said ‘Becca. Knut could live with that. Neither of the kids was thinking of the other as ever being any different. He was thinking of eighth-grade Billy and high-school-senior ‘Becca.

The zoo was a great success. Billy loved seeing the animals and having ‘Becca as a personal guide. ‘Becca loved having a follower to show around. They looked like they had forgotten everything about the marriage, but Knut suspected that those thoughts were merely festering.

Knut was willing to insist that ‘Becca yield the front seat to Billy for the trip back if he asked. He didn’t, apparently having yielded a precedence to a ‘big kid’ which he was unwilling to yield to his mother. ‘Becca was the one with questions now.

“Will I have to share everything with Billy?” she asked.

“You mean your dresses?”

“Daddy!”

“Everything? No. Some things? Yes. You’ll be treated equally. When we get a video, it will be for you both. When you go to the movies, he probably won’t go along, but -- in that case -- he’ll go to the movies later, and you won’t. Probably a different day. He’s younger and a boy; some things will be different. Look, when we go to the restaurant together. Do you get to hog the food?”

“No.”

“Does he eat as much broccoli beef as you do? Or does he concentrate on sweet-and-sour shrimp?”

“Shrimp,” Billy said hopefully from the back seat. ‘Becca laughed.

“Not today,” Knut told him. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes.”

“Well, wait until I get a place to pull over. I have a cooler in the trunk.”

Really hungry, Billy settled for the carrot sticks from the cooler with good grace. Knut resumed his discussion with Rebecca while she munched. “What we’re going to do, if we get married -- and I emphasize that Mrs. Jenkins hasn’t said we would -- is the same as in the restaurant. You’ll get equal treatment, but he’ll want one thing and you’ll want another. You’ll get more of one thing, and he’ll get more of another. You won’t have to share what you now have, but you might like to share some of what you now have. You might like to lend him some books, for example.”

“And if I don’t?”

“If you don’t want to, then you don’t share. And, if you want to invite him to read one book, you might not want to invite him to read another. They’re your property. But, if it’s books or toys or things like that, you’ll keep your property in your room. You won’t wave something in front of him and say, ‘You can’t have this.’ Look, don’t borrow trouble. Remember that people are nice to people who are nice. Those are Rebecca’s computer games; nobody can play them unless ‘Becca says so. On the other hand, that is Daddy’s computer.”

“You wouldn’t.” He had, when she had told him that he couldn’t play one of the computer games he’d grown addicted to. It was her property, and he wasn’t about to tell her it wasn’t. On the other hand, the cords to the computer had gone to work with him the next three days.

“People are nice to people who are nice. You want things from me; you’ll want things from Mrs. Jenkins.” Damn! He had to think of another name. They had to think of another name, other names, really. ‘Mommy’ and ‘daddy’? Probably not. ‘Sarah’ and ‘Knut’? He hoped not.

They drove along, Knut lost in his thoughts, ‘Becca lost in hers. Billy, who hadn’t said a thing for a while, was probably lost in his. He’d put up one or two ‘remember that this depends on Mrs. Jenkins’s answer’ insertions, but he’d mostly talked as if the marriage was a done deal. Billy probably missed those insertions.

Knut could imagine his reports on this conversation. Sarah would be livid. Still, the kids would be worrying about changes. He wanted them to see the marriage as good for them. If it didn’t go through, their lives wouldn’t be any different. He did not want their hopes centering on ‘maybe it won’t happen.’

He waited until ‘Becca was deep asleep, and Billy probably was, too. “This is Knut. I know you’re mad, but hear my side of the case.”

“I’ll listen,” she said.

“I’m not pressuring you. I’m damn-well not pressuring you through Billy. I want you for a wife, not a victim. Billy brought it up himself. I answered as clearly as I could. I know that our living arrangements have to be a joint decision, even getting married has to be. Well, not quite joint. My position on marriage is out in the open. Your decision is final. He asked, and I answered -- that’s all.”

“I’m not mad. Then the proposal is still open?”

“The proposal is open. I’m not trying to pressure you. I just answered Billy’s question honestly. Wouldn’t you have wanted me to?”

“Yes..., and yes.”

“Pardon?” Did that mean what he thought it did? Or was it just his hopes talking?

“Yes, I want you to be honest with Billy. And yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Why, thank you,” he said. “Now, I’ll tell ‘Becca. All I could tell her was that I’d asked. Let’s get together sometime to hammer out the details. We have lots to decide. I don’t claim to decide for you, you know, even when I gave Billy concrete answers.”

“You’re right.”

“How about Saturday? How about a date Friday night and a negotiating session Saturday morning?”

“How about a discussion Friday night?”

That was okay, but he wanted a date, as well. “After dinner? Korean?”

“That works.”

“Look.” He’d thought about this. Kids’ rules and money were the two most important things they’d have to work out. Having a stepfather was something which would cause problems for Billy. Having a larger income would make life easier. Deal with the positives first. “Budget is one thing we’ll have to work out. I’ll have my figures as to income and expenditures. Would you bring yours with you? If you don’t want to share, you don’t have to, but I’d be happier if you say: ‘I don’t want to share that information yet,’ than if you say, ‘I didn’t bother to bring that.’”

“That’s fair,” she said.

She wore slacks to the date -- perhaps a gentle hint that this was going to end in a business meeting, not a night of passion. After the dinner, they settled down in his kitchen to work. Sarah had obviously been more bothered by his making all the decisions -- even when the decision was to feed her instead of letting her starve -- than over the decisions themselves. When he presented her with a list of suggestions, she was willing to use his bank account, willing to move to Evanston, and willing to have the wedding there. She was even willing to take care of two kids each summer, which would be a chore.

Instead of the future, her first question was about the past. Well, it would affect the future. “Have you mentioned this to Rebecca?”

“Sort of,” he admitted. “Actually, Billy did. Not to ‘Becca, but to me in front of her. She was not pleased. Not that she objects to you, but she felt that he’d been told, and she hadn’t. She came around. You wouldn’t mind letting her cook a few meals once in a while, would you? We couldn’t eat meatloaf and hamburgers very often.” He’d committed Sarah without asking her, what she always objected to. But he still couldn’t see any way out.

“I’d be pleased. I’ll teach her to cook some other things, too. Soon enough, she’ll get tired of that.”

Sarah even said she’d take his name. He was pleased, and she was such an independent woman, too. He brought up the counseling session with Jen. A little sneaky, after Sarah had already agreed to the location. He felt, though, that counseling was something that might well benefit them.