Chapter 5

Sunny awoke early and immediately sent Stacy a text:

I desperately need to talk to you. Can I pick you up at 6:30 to talk before school? It’s very important.

Stacy replied almost immediately: no problem. I wait for you on the porch.

Sunny pulled up at Stacy’s and she was waiting. She raced to the car and hopped in. “What’s all the fuss about, dear sister?”

Sunny put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb. “Stace ... We’ve been best friends since third grade. I think I know the answer, but you’ll stand by me no matter what, right? I mean absolutely no matter what ... right?”

“Sun Joo, you’re scaring me. What’s the matter? You know that I’ll be by your side long after you’re married and have kids ― no matter what. What’s the matter, do you secretly prostitute at night or something?

“Stace, you’re not going to believe me when you hear what I have to say. Pleeeze, when I finish explaining, please don’t shun me.”

“Stop it! I won’t shun you or abandon you. Now calmly tell me what’s got you all up in arms?”

“What happened last night is totally unbelievable!”

Sunny explained everything that happened the night before with Miki and why she did what she did. She continued saying, “Stace, the first night I went over there to see about the job, after meeting Miki I had this very strong feeling deep in my gut that I was somehow drawn to her. But after last night, I realized and had to admit to myself that I’m very strongly attracted to her. I’m talking about pussy-sopping wet attracted to her. When I got home last night it took everything I had not to fantasize about her and masturbate.”

“While mulling everything over in my mind, you’ve already had what: five boyfriends total? And you’ve had the hots for every one of them. I’ve never felt that kind of attraction to any boy ... or any girl for that matter. I’ve kinda been neutral when it came to sexual attraction to anyone. I admit, I masturbate two or three times a week, but that’s simply because it feels great and relieves stress.”

“You know me well, right? I’ve always been an honest person. Honest with others and honest with myself. I feel I can spill my guts out to you and tell it like it is, right?” Stacy nodded. “As far as I’m concerned, I don’t feel phobic about possibly being gay, but what has me at my wits end is that I have placed myself in a catch-22 situation.”

“Let me explain. Hypothetically speaking, if you and I came out as a gay couple, all we’d have to deal with is our parents and our friends at school. To hell with everyone else, right? But, having a lesbian relationship with Miki, I’m afraid, is ethically wrong. I’m her caregiver for heaven’s sake. It would be like a teacher taking advantage of a student, wouldn’t it? I mean, I promised her I would never leave or abandon her and that I’d always be there for her in some way.

“Stacy, the reason she was so aggressively hostile to me is that every single person close to her has left her life. She feels abandoned by those she’s allowed herself to grow close to ― including her father. I told her that if she would trust me, I will always be there in some way for her. I would never leave her life. The reason I stripped naked for her was to meet her on her level. To do what I was asking her to do: trust me enough to be naked and let me care for her.”

Stacy thought about that for a moment and answered, “I don’t see that it’s as black and white as you think. There are plenty of instances where medical professionals have fallen in love with a patient. These things happen in life. The heart loves who it wants to love. I think it all depends on the couple and what that relationship is based on.”

“Let me ask you this, Sunny. Five years down the road, can you see yourself truly in love with her?”

“After the events of last night and seeing her reaction and response to me, and mine to her, yeah, I think I can. I have this simmering desire to become intimate with her. I am frefalling head over heels in love with this girl. It isn’t pity either. Her handicap and disability aside, I could love her for who she is. I know it deep in my gut. She’s so needy that I’m afraid she’s probably already fallen for me.”

“So, what you’re saying that you would not enter into an intimate relationship with her just for the novelty of girl-on-girl sex, right? You would do it trying to truly meet her needs and care for her, right?”

“Right. But the issue is, I need to go there every day and touch and handle her naked body as part of my job as her caregiver and guardian while her mother isn’t home. I have a deep-seated feeling and I think you agree that Miki is going to want to pursue an intimate, lesbian relationship with me, What happens if I reject her advances for professional reasons, but try to keep things platonic?”

“Hmm, I see your catch-22. If you’ve judged her actions accurately, more than likely she will feel rejected and retaliate with hostility and anger.”

“Stacy, I just have a problem with being secretive, sneaking around and hiding it from her mom and mine. If I’m wired to be attracted to girls and become a lez, I’m fine with that. I am who I am, right? Like I said, if you and I came out as a gay couple, we would be like Katie and Natalie always being together and holding hands all the time and being completely open about their relationship.

“Boy girl, you really dove off the cliff head-first, didn’t you? You need to understand something about relationships also. I mean, kids our age ― even adults ― begin any relationship before their parents or family find out about it. That means any relationship: just friends, or romantic. There needs to be a relationship to reveal, right? I would try to have a serious discussion with Miki’s mom and find out if she’s aware of Miki’s need for a close personal relationship; not just a caregiver/patient one. Talk to her generically and she how she feels. IS she open to Miki finding that “special someone” or is she too protective to let Miki spread her wings and fly a little?”

“That’s a good idea, but what do I do with little miss hot pants?”

“Follow your heart, Sister and Take. It. Slow. Don’t let your newfound passion rush things. Don’t be caught up in a fiery sexual relationship ‘cause it will burn itself out pretty quickly. That’s the only answer that makes any sense to me. If your intentions are true and you truly feel attracted to her for the right reasons, and if it’s meant to be, it will happen. The caveat being, always be ready to give a proper answer to defend the relationship on solid ground. I think the only real obstacle you’ll have is Miki’s age. Let’s face it. You’ll be eighteen in six months and a legal adult. I’m no lawyer, but it’s probably illegal to have sexual contact with a fifteen or sixteen-year-old minor.”

“You’re right. I never thought of that. So, after it’s all said and done, you’d still love me even if I was a lesbian?”

“Sure, no doubt! Didn’t I tell you that you were getting those fuzzy-wuzzy lezzie feelings! I might even see if you’re any good at licking pussy.”

‘Good god, Girl,” Sunny replied shaking her head and chuckling. “If I ever did lick your pussy, it had better be as smooth as a baby’s butt, ‘cuz the thought of hair in my teeth is very un-sexy.”

Stacy thrust her hand over her breast and sighed, “Oh, you wound me, my sapphic sister! I’ll shave my kitty bald tonight just to be ready.”

“Are you serious?

“Don’t you need the practice?”

“Hmm, might be fun. I always thought you had a nice body.”

“Thank you very much! If you’re really good at it, I might even consider reciprocating.”

They both laughed and Sunny blurted out between chuckles, “Let’s climb in the back seat! Seriously, do you think it might help me if I spoke to Katie and Natalie?”

“They will certainly be able to give you the dynamics of a lesbian relationship. It’s worth a shot.”

“Well, it can’t be today. Miki will probably look for me eat lunch. If I spot her, you want to eat lunch with us?”

“Miki might not like it, but it will surely help you keep things under control until you can lay out some ground rules.”

“Good. That’s what we’ll do. Thanks, Stace!

“I aim to please.”

“Then will you lick my pussy?”

With her trademark cheese-eating grin Stacy retorted “Let me think about it.”

Sunny parked the car in the school parking lot and both girls headed into school side-by-side.

Silvia Harrelson had just seen Miki off to school. Her daughter was a completely different person this morning. She was alert, happy, conversant and seemed to look forward to the new day. She couldn’t get the previous night’s events out of her mind, and excitedly recanted snippets of what happened.

Silvia knew very well that her daughter’s life was fraught with sorrow and loss. Loss of those people that were responsible for her care. People who worked their way into her daughter’s heart through their acts of caring only to move on with their lives, leaving Miki behind. She felt the intense guilt of being one of those who had emotionally withdrawn from her child.

Silvia lived on bitterness. Bitterness from a husband who abandoned her and their child because she contracted HIS family’s hereditary disease. His child was handicapped, and he couldn’t deal with it. The bitterness of growing old without a life partner. Who wants a woman with a handicapped child? She fed that bitterness every time she looked at Miki because of what she’d lost or would never have because of her. It didn’t matter that her ex gave her and Miki a very rich lifestyle.

The guilt she felt about not being a selfless mother was the only thing that fueled her ability to treat Miki with a modicum of kindness and patience.

Sipping her coffee, Silvia knew what Miki pined for. Personally, she didn’t really care one way or the other if that special someone that her daughter yearned for was a boy or another girl. Love is love and the heart doesn’t know gender. If Sunny was to fill that role, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about Miki getting pregnant.