Chapter 1

I don’t remember the name of the book or the poet, but I once read a line in a poem a few years ago that read, “Opportunities are easily recognized ... once they’ve been lost.” That particular line of poetry has left a lasting imprint on my seventeen-year-old mind. And in hindsight, I learned something else very important about life. That is, sometimes, those life choices we make on an everyday basis while attempting to meet our needs and reach a particular goal unknowingly mask the true impact that those life choices truly hold. In my quiet time in my room, I often think of such things and somehow feel that there is a higher power directing my life. I’ll reflect a more about that as we progress though my story.

My name is Park Sun Yoo but everyone calls me Sunny. Yes, I’m a Korean girl born in Seoul, Korea but I came with my parents to the Baltimore, Maryland metropolitan area when I was three to work as medical researchers at Johns Hopkins Hospital. They bought a nice single family home in a suburb of Baltimore called Timonium. We have since become American citizens. I skipped the sixth grade so when school starts, I will be a seventeen-year-old senior at the magnet school Eastern Vocational/Technical High School studying to be a certified clinical medical assistant. My plan is to use this as a head start and a steppingstone to gain practical experience to becoming either a physical therapist or a special needs nurse.

My dad died last year from complications from a staph infection. Now, it’s just me and my mom. Now with only one income, things are not as financially secure as before when dad was alive. Don’t get me wrong, we still lived a decent life without having to worry too much about our living expenses, but I was worried that without the financial help I was going to get from my parents, was it still possible for me to go to Johns Hopkins University? Their tuition for an in-state resident was $54,160 per year and that didn’t include books and fees. I’ve been working at the Starbucks across the street from Towson State University, but I don’t like the guys constantly hitting on me. Some are so obnoxious and crude it’s sickening. These are the type that can never take no for an answer. What is surprising is that the lesbian girls are as bad as the guys and just as crude. Flicking their tongues, smirking, and wagging their heads. The world has gone insane. Nowadays, if you want to say you’re an African female lesbian when you’re a straight, white male, you can. Off the chain!

Something you need to understand about Asian parents. They do not allow dating at all in high school. In fact, most Korean parents are kind of Xenophobic when it comes to finding mates for their child, especially their daughters. They want their daughters to marry a well-educated, financially stable Korean man ― of their choice and approval when their daughter is either near graduation or recently graduated from college. It is also common practice for parents to arrange “dates” for their children to meet an acceptable candidate for their daughter. Having said that, you now know the extent of my experience with boys outside of group social interaction at school, dating and sex.

I heard talk in school among girls about masturbation as early as the sixth grade but was busy with other things in my life that my mind was too occupied to think about it. I just chalked it up to girls ranting on about sex and boys. That all changed the last month of school this past June. I was in a restroom stall changing my sanitary napkin when I heard a girl moaning in the stall next to me. Along with her moans of obvious pleasure, she whispered, “Yes, Nattie, lick me there ― right there! Ooooh, so, so good! I think I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop!” A minute later after hearing these coo’s of pleasure, She make a sensual squeal and then there was silence, all but heavy breathing. The silence was broken when another girl said, “I love you, Katie.”

I know my eyes were bugged out in disbelief, my mouth open and my legs splayed wide open with the sanitary napkin still in my hand prior to putting it in my panties. I thought to myself two things. First, “Hmm, Nattie and Katie. They can only be Natalie Williams and Katie Morrison.” Those two are inseparable and always arm-in-arm walking the halls. I gave a silent chuckle as I thought how naive; I never knew they were lesbians though... My second thought was, “Boy, if it’s that good, I’m going to have to try this for myself and see what this “jilling off” is all about!”

Well, there you have it. I tried it that night in the shower to make sure Mom didn’t walk in on me as I played with my kitty. All I can say is that when it was all said and done, I was leaning against the shower wall in catatonic bliss and panting for breath. I slowly slide to the floor because my weak legs couldn’t hold me up. My hand was still between my legs, my thighs were still quivering, and my kitty was a slimy mess and she was purring louder than a lioness with a fresh kill. Needless to say, I confess I now am a habitual masturbator and proud of it! Boy, if Mom had ever found out about that, she would have cut my hands off at the wrists.

Anyway, I hope you can understand why this thought of that moment got me sidetracked momentarily from the story at hand (LOL). I decided to look for another job because what they were paying me surely didn’t compensate me for the sexual harassment I was enduring. Transportation wasn’t a problem any longer because Mom took me to the MVA, and I got my learner’s permit when I was fifteen and a half. I obtained my license six months later when I turned sixteen. She gave me her Hyundai Venue and she kept Dad’s fully loaded Elantra. Dad believed in supporting Korean products whenever possible. That plus the fact that they are well-built, reliable and a value.