Chapter 17

We left Harrods and headed for the tube station, “I think we’ll go to Camden, there’s a few squats round there I used, and some back alleys I slept in, we could stop at Kings Cross on the way, we might see Belle and Flower as they live somewhere in the station.”

“They live in the station?” Katie asked, incredulous at the idea.

“Yeah, apparently they live in an old office off one of the platforms, Jeremy says I’m not allowed to look for it because it will look suspicious and I might attract people who will find them.”

“Do they ever leave the station? How do they get in and out without an Oyster Card?”

“Ahh, if you know what to do there’s plenty of ways in and out of a station, it’s amazing what most people don’t see, come on I’ll show you how to get onto Knightsbridge station platform without using your card.”

Poppy grabbed Katie’s hand, they ran up Knightsbridge towards Harvey Nichols, I caught up with them at the top of the steps down to the station.

“See, these are the steps we used when we left the station earlier, and there’s another set over the road there, then if we spin around, behind all the scaffolding is the main entrance with the lifts and stuff.”

“Ahh yes, I think I’ve been in that way with dad.”

“Great, let’s cross over and I’ll show you what you need to look for, this is the way in and out of pretty much every station.”

We waited for the traffic lights to change then ran across the road, on the other side Poppy took us down a narrow passage.

“What you need to do is find a member of staff on a cigarette break, somewhere nearby is a door standing open. There you go,” she said after a moment, “see that guy there with the e-cig?”

“Oh yes, he’s in the tube uniform,” Katie replied, getting excited now.

“And see just behind him, that’s the door we’d use, one of us would distract him, maybe knock over a bin or shout something, then we’d all sneak in when he isn’t looking.”

“What about at the other end? How do you get out?”

“That’s sometimes a bit more awkward, as the doors from the station to the staff areas generally have locks, staff either have a special card, or there’s a number pad. If it’s a number pad then we can often figure them out. Some staff have rubbish memories, so they write them on the wall near the door, that’s how we found out the code for this station. Where they have card locks we’d just have to hang around until someone goes through the door, then one of us would run up and grab it before it shuts, then it’s a matter of finding the way out, which in somewhere like Kings Cross is easier said than done, that station is huge.”

Katie just looked at Poppy, her mouth agape in amazement.

“Wow,” she said eventually, “you really are amazing, I’d never be brave enough to do that.”

“I wasn’t at first, but you soon get used to it. Most of the time the staff are fine, there’s a few stations where we knew a couple of the staff and they’d make us a hot drink and give us biscuits. It’s the public you have to be careful with. We’d often find some busybody phoning the police on us because we looked funny. Usually the police would just escort us out of the station and send us on our way. The rule Max, oh Max,” Poppy bowed her head, as if in prayer, “poor, poor Max, I wonder how she’s doing?”

She shook her head and was silent for a moment, “anyway,” she continued, “the rule Max instilled in us was to never, ever antagonise anyone, if the Police come, remain calm, let them clap us in chains or whatever, just go with the flow. They would almost never arrest us if we kept quiet, they’d just let us go once we were outside. The Transport Police could be awkward, but again, simple trespass, it was too much paperwork if they arrested us. If we were being dickheads and causing trouble, or stealing off passengers, then yeah, they’d arrest us. Hence Max’s rule.”

We walked back around to the front of the station, swiped in with our Oyster cards and took the escalator down to the platform.

“We need the Piccadilly line,” Poppy said without needing to look at the map, “it’s this way. Oh, come here a sec,” she said, pulling Katie with her, “look on the wall there, see, that’s the code for that door over there.”

“I would never have seen that,” Katie marvelled.

“Like I said, there’s so much stuff around that people never see because they’re too busy dashing from one place to the next. When you’re homeless you have nothing to run to, so we’d just sit around and look at our surroundings.”

As we walked to the platform I watched Katie, she was moving her head constantly, taking everything in.

We had a few minutes to wait for the next train, so Poppy walked Katie all the way to the top of the platform where she leaned against the wall next to a door.

“See this door, it takes you to the passages between the tunnels, then you can go through another door straight out into the tunnels. Obviously, you don’t want to be doing that when the trains are running, but it’s fun to do it in the middle of the night, we walked from Tottenham Court Road to Chalk Farm one night.”

“How did you see where you’re going?” Katie asked.

“There’s maintenance crews working at night, so they have some lights in the tunnels, but we had torches for the dark stretches.”

“Aren’t there loads of rats and stuff in the tunnels.”

“Yeah, but we don’t bother about them, they’re everywhere.”

Poppy stepped closer to the edge of the platform and scanned up and down the track before pointing, “there you go, a couple of rats, oh, and a phone, and a purse.”

She caught the eye of one of the station staff and told him about the phone and purse.

“Thanks miss, I’ll get someone to fetch them later. Hang on a sec,” he said as Poppy turned away, “I recognise you, aren’t you one of Max’s girls? Poppy?”

“Ahh, yes, that’s me, sorry, I don’t recognise you.”

“Not to worry honey, I’m Trevor, I’m usually in Covent Garden station.”

“Oh wow, Trevor, you always have Jaffa Cakes, how did you recognise me now I’m in civilian clothes?”

“Your eyes, and the polite way you spoke to me, people down here aren’t often so polite.”

“That’s such a shame, no one is ever so busy they can’t say please and thank you.”

“So you’re off the streets now.”

“Yes, I got very lucky and Alex saved me, and then I met Katie, she’s my girlfriend.”

“That’s great news, it always upsets me when I see you girls around, you all look too nice to be living on the streets.”

“Sometimes life shits on you, then sometimes it smiles and you get a chance to leave. You just have to roll with the blows or you end up in a worse mess.”

“I guess you do, ahh, here comes your train, see you soon Poppy,” he shouted over the approaching train.”

“Thanks Trevor, for being so nice to us.” Poppy shouted back.

“My pleasure,” was all we heard before he stepped out of the way of the crowds leaving the train.

The train was still crowded even after all the Knightsbridge shoppers had left, we huddled into a space near the door and rode the six stops to Kings Cross mostly in silence as the train was too noisy and crowded for conversation.

We left the train gratefully at Kings Cross and stepped clear of the crowds so Poppy could think without being buffeted by passing throngs.

She checked her watch then made a decision, “I think we grab the Northern Line train up to Camden, when we come back we could get off at Euston, then walk here and have a look around for Belle and Flower, does that sound ok?”

“This is your world,” I said, “you’re in charge, we can’t be relied on to make decisions.”

Poppy walked us through the maze of passageways and escalators, her eyes peeled, looking at each person sitting in passageways to see if she knew them.

“Oh, that’s Jewel,” Poppy cried out suddenly, “remember, we saw her on Wardour Street.”

We slipped free of the crowd and approached Jewel, Poppy crouched down next to her, “hey Jewel, how are you doing?”

Jewel looked up slowly, it took a little while for her to focus, then she brightened a little, “oh, hey Poppy,” she said slowly, before her whole body was wracked by a terrifying coughing fit.

Poppy looked up at me, “can you find some water please, I really should have brought a couple of bottles with me, remind me to buy some next time.”

I had to leave the underground station and dash up to the big WH Smith store in the mainline station above ground, I bought a few bottles and a couple of chocolate bars, as I left I spotted the bakers opposite, so I dashed over and bought a couple of their vegan sausage rolls, they weren’t too hot, perfect.

Katie grabbed a bottle off me as soon as I arrived, she broke the seal and handed it to Poppy, who was kneeling next to Jewel, talking to her quietly, she held the bottle to Jewel’s lips and carefully poured a small amount into her mouth, Jewel coughed again before she took a bit more of the water.

“Thank you,” she croaked, “I’ve not had a drink since yesterday.”

“When did you last eat?” Poppy asked.

“I don’t know, it wasn’t yesterday.”

I passed Poppy the food, “they’re vegan sausage rolls, I wasn’t sure about meat,” I told her.

“You’re an angel Alex, these are just right, she wouldn’t be able to eat them if they were too hot,” she replied as she slipped one of the pastries out of the bag and helped Jewel eat, she had a sip of water between each bite.

“There’s another one here,” Poppy said after Jewel had finished the first sausage roll, and a couple of Snickers, the peanuts and sugar will do you good, and two more bottles of water.

Katie took her money out and handed Poppy two £10 notes, Poppy shook her head, “it’s your money, you give it to her,” she said as she stepped out of the way.

Katie knelt beside Jewel, she slipped the money into Jewel’s finger, “take care Jewel,” she whispered, “I’ll try to come back and see you someday, in the meantime, I hope this helps.”

She kissed the tips of her fingers and touched them to Jewel’s lips before rising, Poppy helped her up and hugged her, “that was a lovely gesture, thank you.”

We said our goodbyes and set off towards the Northern Line, before we’d taken more than a couple of steps Poppy dashed back, she leaned over and touched her fingers to Jewel’s lips.

“That’s such a nice way to kiss my friends, thank you for showing me that,” she said as she pulled a pack of wet wipes from her coat pocket, handing one to Katie.

“Were you like that,” Katie asked quietly.

“I never got that low,” Poppy replied, then she thought for a moment and corrected herself, “well yes I did actually. I guess that’s what I was like when Jeremy found me. Jewel has been smoking crystal meth I think, and that really fucks you up.”

“You did drugs for a bit though...”

“Yes, I did, and I got lucky, because Jeremy found me, I think I was nearly dead, he’s never told me how bad I was, but thinking back, I was really messed up, he had to carry me to the hostel, he gave me drugs for a few days, and fed me, and when I was well enough he locked me in a room for a week, slipping food and water through a flap. I screamed, I pulled my hair out, I scratched myself until my arms were bloody and raw, but by the end of the week I didn’t need drugs anymore.”

Katie stopped walking, she pulled Poppy close, “oh my god,” she said in an awed whisper, “you say all that like it was nothing, but you could have died, I’ve heard coming off drugs is the hardest thing for anyone to do, you’re so strong. What you just did for Jewel, thousands of people must have walked past her today, but nobody has stopped, there was no money in her cup, she may as well be invisible. You’re amazing Poppy, I hope you realise that.”

“I’m not amazing, I’m just lucky to be alive, and I’m trying to pay back my good fortune is all.”

We got off the Northern Line at Camden Town, “we need to get more water and food,” Katie said, “in case we meet anyone.”

“We do, thanks for the reminder,” Poppy said, “there’s a supermarket on the way, we’ll pop in and get some stuff.”

Poppy bought bottles of water, a few multi-packs of chocolate bars and a selection of sandwiches, then we set off through a maze of back streets until she stopped dead.

“Ahh, it’s gone,” she said, pointing over the road, “that pile of rubble was the first squat I lived in, it was a bit run down at the time, but at least it had a roof back then.”

She pulled the security fence out of its footing and clambered through the gap, we followed behind and joined her standing on the pile of bricks.

“I lived here with Lottie, Sarah, Louise and Steve. They were brother and sister, Steve and Louise, he was a big guy, handy to have around, I was here for about three weeks I think, maybe longer, I’d been on the streets for a few days after running away, I was starving and felt so low, Sarah found me and invited me inside. Once I’d warmed up and eaten some soup I felt human again. We spent that first night chatting by candle light, I think Sarah was probably my first crush, she was about 20 I’d guess, wore dungarees and a pretty flower print t-shirt, she had dreadlocks. They were all shocked by my story, Steve wanted to go and give Nikki a piece of his mind, maybe I should have let him.”

Poppy looked around, almost like she was lost, “this is a piece of my history gone,” she said sadly, as we carefully made our way back to the street, I put the fence back into its footing and Poppy walked us down the road, she crossed over and took us down a back street.

“After a few weeks, I honestly don’t know how long, maybe three weeks, maybe a little more, the four grown-ups moved on, and I was alone in the squat, and I was scared, so I left the next day and I slept here. It’s dirty, and there’s rats, but if you look up you’ll see why people sleep down here.”

We looked up and saw a mess of aluminium ducts.

“That building is a commercial laundry, they’re working in there 24/7 doing the bedding for hotels, although not today it seems, maybe it’s closed down, anyway, back then those pipes were belching out warm, scented air all night, so this was a nice place to sleep.”

We walked on a little way before Poppy stopped and crouched down behind a bin, “hey Lia, how’s it going?”

“What, oh, hello,” the voice replied, confused that someone was taking the time to talk to her.

“It’s me Lia, Poppy.”

“Oh my god, seriously! Shit Poppy, I heard you were dead.”

“I get that a lot, I nearly was, but I escaped, and Alex here rescued me,” Poppy replied as she started digging through her bag, “do you want cheese and onion or egg sandwich, ohh I’ve got a corned beef and pickle as well.”

“Oh man, that corned beef sounds fun.”

“Here you go, Mars Bar or Snickers.”

“Shit, I don’t remember when I got a choice of food beyond white bread or brown bread with my soup, I’ll have the Mars bar please.”

“Here you go, and a couple of bottles of water.”

Lia took a bite of her sandwich, “oh, this is nice, thank you,” she took a sip of her water, “I’ve been hearing some really weird shit about Max, I heard she killed people, is that right?”

“Oh fuck, yeah, she went a bit mental after everybody thought Kenzie killed me, and she went round and killed Kenzie and his mates, annoyingly she also attacked my mum, Nikki. Jeremy managed to track her down and he’s spirited her away, it wouldn’t have been fair to set the police on her, even though my new mum is a detective.”

“New mum?” Lia asked.

“Yeah, Alex’s girlfriend is a detective, and she’s decided to adopt me and my girlfriend, bollocks, I’m so, so sorry Katie, I’ve not introduced you. Lia, this is Katie, my girlfriend. Katie, this is Lia, she lived with us in Max’s squat for a while.”

Katie stepped forwards and crouched next to Poppy, “do you sleep here?” Katie asked.

“At the moment, yeah, I’m waiting for a bed in the shelter, I’m on the waiting list. You can stay there two weeks, use it as an address to apply for jobs, they have showers and clothes, but it’s strictly two weeks max, you really have to get a job in the first week so you can use your first week’s wage to pay for a room somewhere more permanent.”

Katie pulled out another £20 and slipped it into Lia’s hands, “I hope you find something soon Lia,” she said, before kissing her fingers and touching them to Lia’s lips.

As we were about to leave Katie turned back to Lia, “can I ask you something else?”

Lia touched her lips, “you just kissed me, of course you can.”

“Why are you round here, why aren’t you on the street, you know, collecting money or whatever?”

“Ahh, it’s too busy round there at the moment, if I’m out there when the pavements are full, people trip over me, I’d get moved on soon enough, I was there up until 10:30, I’ll go back at 3ish.”

“How will you know when it’s 3 o’clock?”

“Harry starts work in the kebab shop at 3, and his first job of the day is to empty last night’s bins into that one there.”

“Ahh, I see. Thank you Lia, I hope you find a way out soon.”

After we’d said goodbye to Lia again, Poppy walked us back to the main road.

“That’s the hostel,” she said, pointing at an old red brick building that looked like it used to be a school back in the last century, “I never managed to get a place there, they only have 15 beds and they’re pretty strict about who they let in, I was far, far too young, and by the time I found out about it I was pretty messed up, they don’t allow drugs, and sometimes they’ll throw you out for being a bit drunk. Lia’s straight though, I don’t think I ever saw her doing drugs.”

“Is this the sort of place you’d help with your charity?”

“Yeah, but not there specifically, they’re pretty well funded already, the 15 bed limit is because that’s all the room they have.”

“Where now?” I asked.

Poppy looked around, getting her bearings, “there,” she said, pointing diagonally across the road to a cafe on the corner.

We crossed the road and stepped inside, it was a typical greasy spoon place, the menu above the counter covered the usual range, from Full English breakfast to burgers and pizza, Poppy ordered three mugs of tea and we took them to a table by the window.

“This is a bittersweet place for me,” she said, “it’s open all night, literally, they never close. They won’t let anyone sleep in here, but you can sit with a mug of hot water all night as far as the owner is concerned, the staff will keep swapping it for a fresh mug of hot water when it cools down. As long as you don’t stink, or cause a fuss they won’t disturb you. I spent a lot of nights here.”

She took a long drink of her tea before she continued.

“The bitter part is this is where I met Joanie, who was a lovely girl, so sweet, but so messed up. She joined me one night, she sat just there, where you’re sitting Katie, she bought me a hot chocolate and a burger, she had a lot of money in her purse. She told me about these parties, where men paid for sex.

“That night the last part of old Melanie vanished, any innocence I’d retained after being forced to watch my own mother having sex with endless streams of men, all gone after that night. This is where Poppy was born, though I only got that name after Jeremy rescued me a few months later when I was so utterly fucked up I couldn’t even remember my own name.”

Katie grabbed some napkins from the counter and sat up close to Poppy and together they cried.

“Is everything ok,” the counter man asked as he wiped the next table.

“I’m fine Jerry, just reliving my past.”

Jerry looked over, and slowly it dawned on him who she was, “I recognise the voice, is that you Mel? Oh gosh, I’ve not seen you in a while. Here let me refill your mugs.”

He took the empty mugs away and brought three fresh ones and a jug of milk.

“What’re you doing round here, I thought you’d moved over to Walthamstow.”

“I did, I was there for a while, then I moved around some, then I got straight, with the help of Alex and Katie.”

“Straight, properly straight?”

“Yes, and no, straight in that I’m off everything, living properly in a nice house, but not straight because Katie’s my girlfriend.”

“Hahaha, that’s great news, because you know, you had me worried for a while, you weren’t doing so well at all.”

“Yeah Jerry, I got pretty fucked up, but I wanted to come back here because you and Matty, you were always nice to us, we were always welcome here even when we had no money.”

“Well, you know, we have to keep the lights and heating on all the time, it’s not like you cost us anything extra.”

“That’s the same with all the all-night cafes, you were the only one where we didn’t have to pay to stay, one way or another.”

Jerry blushed at that, “well, you know, as pretty as you were, I wouldn’t presume to ask you for anything just to sit in the warmth.”

“I know Jerry, and that’s why I liked coming here. Listen, I bought some sandwiches and stuff for people I ran into today, but I’ve only seen Lia. If any girls come in tonight and can’t afford food, can you give them something from this bag?”

“Of course I will Mel.”

“I’m called Poppy now,” she said kindly.

“Of course you are, I knew that, but you were Mel when you came in here, and that’s the name I’ll always know you by.”

Poppy stood and hugged him, “you’re one of the good guys Jerry, I’ll let you call me Mel.”

Poppy and Katie slipped the bottled water into their coat pockets and we left the bag of food with Jerry.

“How do you know he’ll give the food to the people who need it?” Katie asked as we walked back to the station.

“He just will, he can’t do anything else, you heard him, he won’t even take advantage of girls who offer themselves, and to my shame I know that to be true,” Poppy replied, her head bowed.

“I’m so sorry if I’ve brought back such bad memories this afternoon, I shouldn’t have asked to see these places,” Katie said.

“You absolutely should have asked, you need to see where I came from, because I can’t swear I’ll be as happy as I seem all the time. One day I’m sure I’ll wake up screaming after a nightmare, and you need to be ready for when reality hits me.”

“I am ready, you’re so strong for everyone else, the least I can do is be strong for you.”

“I have no doubt you’ll be there to pick me up when I fall. Now you know how far I fell before, it’ll give you a bit of perspective, life might seem bad while we’re crying and screaming, but we’ll have a roof over our heads, clean clothes and food in our bellies.”

Katie pulled Poppy into a tight hug, people tutted as they had to step into the road to pass by, the girls didn’t notice, lost in their own world for a moment.

After a few minutes they separated and we walked back to the station, just inside the entrance we saw Lia again, “hey, it’s Lia,” Katie said.

Lia smiled at Katie, “I’ve been here about 5 minutes I reckon, what time is it?”

She pulled out her phone and checked the time, “7 minutes past 3, great timing.”

“I don’t need a fancy phone to tell me what time it is,” she laughed.

Katie knelt down and reached forwards and gave Lia a hug, “you’ll get your clothes dirty,” Lia protested.

“I’ve been kneeling down all over the place today, everything’s going to need a good wash, I just wanted you to know that you seem so much more at peace with the world than my mother who lives in a £2 million house and has just secured a contract to play in an orchestra on the world’s biggest cruise ship. This afternoon has opened my eyes to the fucked up nature of our lives, and I want to thank you.”

“Thank you for being so kind,” Lia said, “ahh, that’s the train, you’d better dash if you want to catch it.”

Katie kissed her fingers and touched them to Lia’s lips, “goodbye Lia, I’m glad we met.”

“So am I.”

Katie leant forwards suddenly and kissed Lia on the lips, “please, let me know how you get on with the hostel, if we can help with anything.”

“How will I get in touch?” Lia asked, blinking at the shock of Katie’s kiss.

“Jeremy has our numbers,” Poppy said as she followed Katie’s example and kissed Lia properly.

We ended up missing that train, the next one was a few minutes away, we sat on the bench to wait.

“Why did you kiss Lia?” Poppy asked, “it was a lovely gesture, but a bit risky, kissing a homeless person.”

“I don’t know, I got carried away, she’s so lovely, and pretty, and she wasn’t dirty. You’re not angry are you, because I kissed another girl.”

“I’m not angry at all, I’m glad you did, so many people seem to be almost afraid of homeless people, like they’ll catch some nasty disease just standing near them,” Poppy replied, “and you may have noticed I kissed her as well.”

Poppy passed Katie a bottle of water and a tissue, “despite that, you might want to wipe your mouth with a wet tissue.”

“Thanks,” Katie said after she’d wiped her mouth, “I was thinking, you know when you start your charity, you’re going to want some people you trust working on the front line, and you’ll want to pay them something.”

“Hmmm, yes, I’ve been thinking that. I guess it depends how much money we can raise, Alex’s publisher has promised me some start-up cash, and they’re going to put me in touch with some companies who can help, if we get a few grand I’ll be able to pay people for a few hours work a week.”

“Lia seems really bright and keen, she’d be good.”

“She would, and I was thinking the same. I’m so glad we did this today, yeah, it’s triggered some pretty bad memories, but I’d kind of forgotten about Lia, and it was really nice to meet Jerry again.”

The train swept in and we managed to get seats for the few stops back to Kings Cross.

“Are we ok having a wander round to look for Belle?” Poppy asked me.

“Of course, Jenny said to be back for around 6, so we’ve got plenty of time.”

We stepped to one side while Poppy made a plan, working out the best ways through the complex series of tunnels and passages that make up the vast Kings Cross St Pancras underground station, which services 6 tube lines and is used by around ¼ million people a day. With eleven entrances and four separate ticket halls it was impossible to cover the whole station in a couple of hours, so Poppy decided to concentrate on the highest traffic areas, namely the Piccadilly, Victoria and Northern Line platforms. In the week the Metropolitan and Circle lines would also be busy, so we had a little bit of a break today.

Poppy brought out her phone, she flipped through her camera roll and showed it to Katie, “this is the picture from her missing persons file, it’s a couple of years old, but it gives you an idea, she’s about 5 feet 2 inches, really black hair, a round face with the nicest green eyes.”

“She really is pretty isn’t she, I hope we can find her.”

“So do I,” Poppy said quietly, “she doesn’t belong out here, and the longer she stays the worse it’s going to get.”

The first plan was to sweep the various passages around the Northern Line, then onto the Piccadilly Line, which we decided were the most likely areas, as that’s where we’d seen her before with Flower.

Poppy was getting more and more frustrated as we finished sweeping all the corridors around the Piccadilly line, we were about to head across to the Victoria Line when Katie cried out.

“Here Poppy, I think I’ve found her!”

We ran towards Katie, she was standing by a door that was propped open, looking at someone sleeping between the door and the wall.

Poppy dropped to her knees beside Katie and held the person’s head up, “it’s Belle Alex, it’s Belle!” she cried in a mixture of excitement and fear, “I think she’s unconscious though.”

Katie pushed the button on the mechanism holding the door open so we could get to Belle, I poured water onto a wad of tissues and passed it to Poppy, she wiped Belle’s forehead and her eyes flew open.

“What’s happening!” Belle said.

“Oh shit, it’s me Belle, I thought you were unconscious or something.”

“Poppy, oh wow, it’s you. What are you doing here?”

“We came to find you, to see how you are.”

“Ahh, you know, I’m alive, that’s always a good sign.”

“Come on, let’s get you a cup of tea and some food.”

I reached down and helped Belle to her feet, she had a scabby blanket over her knees and a McDonalds coffee cup with a few coppers. She emptied the cup into her palm and put the money in her pocket, folded her blanket and tucked it under her arm.

“You remember Alex?” Poppy asked.

“Yes, he’s your Lancelot or something.”

“He’s my dad now,” Poppy said, pride in her voice as she said it, “and this is Katie, my girlfriend.”

“Hey Katie,” Belle said, “pleased to meet you.”

“I’m so happy to meet you,” Katie said, and she really sounded happy, “Poppy has told me so much about you, she said you were the most beautiful girl in the world, and she wasn’t lying.”

“How can you tell, I’m fucking filthy, I look like Stig of the Dump.”