Chapter 15

The meal was a little weird, happy and sad at the same time. Poppy toasted her new parents with the champagne, then she spoke about Nikki’s final moments, how happy Nikki was at the news she had a new family.

“Mum was a bit vague about Alex, she’d seen him twice, but really didn’t remember much about him, she loved you though, Jenny, didn’t she? Mum kept commenting about how beautiful you are, and how respectable you looked in your suit. She was really happy about signing the forms to change my name and the adoption papers. I still can’t believe it’s that simple to adopt someone, I thought it took ages.”

“Normally yes, but I took a shortcut and spoke directly to a judge in the family court, I’ve dealt with her before when we’ve taken a child off the streets and given them to a trusted family, she’s very, very careful because she doesn’t want the child to go from the frying pan straight into the fire. She trusts me, and after I explained who you were, and what you’d been through she was happy to let me adopt you, providing Nikki agreed, if she didn’t then we’d have to go through the proper channels.”

“Thanks mum. I was joking before, are you ok with me calling you mum?”

“Of course, I was joking before as well when I said I didn’t want to be called mum, really I was a little flattered you’d think of me like that, it is a little weird though, I’m closer in age to being an older sister than a mum.”

“Nikki was only 15 when she had me, she’s 30.”

“Oh fuck,” Jenny said quietly, “I didn’t realise that, why had I not even seen her age on the reports I’ve read. I’m so sorry Poppy, I didn’t realise she was so young.”

“It’s ok Jenny, sorry, mum, really, she’d not lead a good life, so she looked a lot older. Dad, didn’t you say she was half way between you and Helen?”

“Yes, I noticed that when I read the news report about her attack, I’m 32, Helen is 28.”

“Oh, I meant to tell you, I spoke to Jeremy this afternoon, I had to tell him about mum, he was so upset for me, but glad we’d made up, anyway, he’s coming to the funeral next week, mum, can you write Katie a note so she can have the afternoon off...”

“Of course, we also need to explain to school why she’s living with us, I assume your mum won’t have told them, Katie. You know, I could make their lives very difficult, they’ve broken a couple of laws abandoning you.”

“It’s ok,” Katie said, “Auntie Helen helped me with this before, I’m going to try to forget they ever existed.”

Nita looked at Helen and laughed, “she calls you auntie now?”

“Yes, and if I’m honest I like it, it’s fun having nieces.”

“Anyway,” Poppy said over the laughter, “Jeremy said Evie is awake and he’s going to see if she’s well enough to come on Tuesday so I can see her before he has her admitted to a special hospital where they’ll try to make her better, he says she’s not as strong as me, I was able to come straight off the drugs, it wasn’t nice, but I didn’t need to go away to come clean.”

Katie put her hand on Poppy’s arm, “you’re so strong and brave.”

“Also incredibly foolish to get mixed up in that shit in the first place,” Poppy replied.

Jenny reached across and put her hand on Poppy’s other arm, “that’s not it though is it, you didn’t ask for the drugs, you were tricked.”

“Yeah, but I should have smelt a rat and run away, or I should have realised it was too good to be true when Joanie first told me about the parties. Who’s going to pay me £100 for just turning up, of course they’re going to want us to do something, and that something won’t be pleasant if they’re paying £100 to a young girl who hasn’t washed in a couple of weeks.”

Poppy looked at her plate, speared a piece of lamb and chewed it slowly, “mmm, nice, anyway, this is supposed to be a happy night, so less of the sad talk, can we have more champagne, I liked it.”

I held up my hand, pointing at the empty bottle as a waiter approached.

Poppy poured the fresh bottle, Jenny put her hand over her glass, “not for me, I have work tomorrow.”

“More for me and Katie then,” Poppy giggled.

The rest of the meal passed quickly, we were much happier, Katie told us stories about camping with her brother and cousins, “we’re all around the same age, Ashley is less than a year younger than me, our cousins are either side of us, Josh is about a month older than me, Christina is a month younger than Ashley. We’d go camping in the fields behind Auntie Emily’s house, and we’d steal wine from her fridge and we’d make out with each other, we were camping last summer when I gave Ashley a blowjob, Christina did Josh, she nearly choked and ran away, Josh had to finish himself. I was a little jealous, Josh has a much bigger willie than Ashley, but it would have really upset Ashley if I’d dropped him for Josh.”

“Did you do anything with Christina?” Poppy asked.

“We kissed a bit, nothing much, she’s not as good a kisser as you.”

“Did Ashley and Josh ever do anything?”

“Ohh, I don’t know, I guess when me and Chris were kissing, what would they be doing in the other tent. Ooohh, I wonder if that’s why he’s happy to stay there for the holidays, I’ll ask next time we speak.”

Poppy was true to her word and paid the bill with her debit card, which reminded me, I needed to speak to Katie about pocket money, which again reminded me I needed to get her and Jenny a door key. That’s my job first thing tomorrow.

It was raining when we left the restaurant, so we ran home, Helen and Nita said goodbye as they carried on to their house.

As it was pretty late we dumped our coats in the hall cupboard and went straight up to bed.

Later as we lay awake I could hear Poppy crying in her room, “should we go and see if she’s ok?” I asked.

“No we shouldn’t, she and Katie need to be alone for this. So far Poppy has been the strong one in the partnership, now it’s Katie’s turn to show how strong she can be. If Poppy wants our comfort she’s welcome to cuddle up to us.”

I must have fallen into a very deep sleep, because I didn’t hear the girls come in, or feel them crawling onto the bed. When I woke with the alarm they were snuggled either side of Jenny, who gave me the sweetest smile when she saw I was awake.

“Well, I did say they could cuddle up if they needed comfort,” she whispered.

“I never felt them arrive.”

“It was about four o’clock, they’ve only just gone to sleep, and I’m going to have to wake them so I can get up. I’ll go to school to excuse them both for the day, and I’ll sort out Katie’s contact details while I’m there. I’m sure my CID warrant card will smooth over any problems they have.”

Jenny tried to wriggle out from between the girls, I lifted up their arms to help her. As soon as Jenny was free Poppy rolled over and snuggled me without even waking, Jenny helpfully pushed Katie over until she was cuddling Poppy.

“Amazing,” Jenny laughed quietly, “they didn’t even wake. I’ll get you a coffee in a bit. Do you want me to send Helen round to feed you at lunchtime?”

“Haha, that might be necessary.”

It wasn’t necessary though, as both the girls awoke with a start when Jenny returned 30 minutes later with my coffee.

“Shit, we’ll be late!” Poppy cried as she saw the clock.

“Settle down,” Jenny said calmly, “you’re having the day off, you’ve had a terrible shock and only a couple of hours sleep.”

“But I need to go to school.”

“Not today Poppy, I’m going to see the headmistress this morning before I go to work, I’ll excuse you for the day, they can email you any work you miss.”

“I guess we could work from home today,” Poppy said, rubbing her eyes, “I have a load of stuff I can be learning.”

“Great, that’s all sorted, I shall also explain why you have a new mum and why Katie’s living with us.”

“Don’t tell them we’re sleeping together! Katie’s not out at school!”

“Oh gosh, I won’t tell them that, I’m just going to explain that Katie’s mum has got a job abroad and we considered it best if you stayed with us so she can complete her studies uninterrupted.”

“I wonder if mum has even spoken to school,” Katie said quietly.

“It’s not going to look good if she hasn’t, anyway, I need to be going,” Jenny said as she leaned across the bed to give us all a goodbye kiss before she left the room.

“And I need to get up to make you all some breakfast, I’ll make pancakes, you’ve got 30 minutes to have a cuddle then come down for breakfast.”

“Not fair, we want to cuddle you for a bit longer,” Poppy said.

“Ok, five more minutes.”

“Thanks daddy,” Poppy said, cuddling up to me as Katie rolled over us both and cuddled me from the other side.

“Ok, maybe ten more minutes, then I’m definitely getting up to make breakfast.”

I can honestly say that I’ve never felt quite as happy as I did then, and there was no sauciness involved.

It was wonderful watching the girls sleep with their faces pressed against my chest, they looked so peaceful and innocent, and that ten minutes stretched to well over half an hour, until I had to move to use the bathroom.

I lifted both the girls off me and wriggled out from between them, they naturally rolled together and I was free to shower, shave and dress while they slept. I pulled the duvet over them before I went downstairs to make the pancakes and more coffee.

I was just about to call the girls down before I lit the burner under the frying pan when I heard footsteps, Poppy appeared, she was wearing one of my t-shirts and was rubbing her eyes as she entered the kitchen.

“You disappeared, when I woke I was cuddling Katie, which was nice, but she’s not you, I feel safe with you.”

“I needed a wee, and I was getting hungry,” I replied.

“Ahh, ok, I guess I can let you off, I’m not into watersports, some men like to wee on girls, I think that’s gross.”

“In that we’re in total agreement, where’s Katie?”

“She’s having a shower, I’ll go have a shower after I’ve had a coffee.”

I put the frying pan to one side and joined Poppy at the table with coffee.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“I don’t know, I feel empty, you know, I don’t feel sad now, I cried for hours last night, Jenny came to get me in the end, and once I cuddled up to my new mum I felt better, and we managed to fall asleep. I cried because I found I had this hole, and I don’t know why. I hated mum for so long, I didn’t think it would be so bad, but last night in bed it struck me that she’s gone, I have no family.”

“I guess it hit you so hard because you’d only just got your mum back, and then she was taken away so soon.”

“That’s what Katie said, she was so nice, I feel really bad for keeping her awake with insane chatter and tears.”

“You have all of us now, we’re your family, and you can talk to us about anything at all.”

“Yes, I know that, and you’re all a much better family than Nikki ever was, but she’s my blood, you know, she made me, half my DNA is hers, and now she’s gone forever.”

I swapped seats and cuddled Poppy as the tears returned, I wiped her eyes and ran my fingers through her messy hair until Katie arrived and ran over to join us.

“Ahh, Katie, I’m so sorry about last night, it was bad of me keeping you awake like that.”

Katie kissed Poppy full on the lips, “don’t be silly, you’re my girlfriend, you’re my best friend, if you’re sad it’s my job to be there for you. How are you feeling now?”

“I’m a lot better, I feel kind of empty though, like there’s something missing.”

“That’s the space Nikki took up in your heart, over time that hole will grow smaller and smaller as you love other things and people more and more.”

“I don’t want to forget her completely!” Poppy cried.

“Oh gosh, you won’t forget her, she’ll always be there if you want her to be, it’s just we learn to compartmentalise the hurt, concentrate on other things and people. It’s why widows bond so closely with their pets, their cat or dog takes up the space their partner used to.”

“Oh wow, really, you’re so clever Katie. I’m not sure I’d know how to care for a pet, but I’d like to bond with you more, if that’s ok.”

“I could wear a cat ears headband.”

“You would be so cute like that, thank you for making me smile.”

“Ok, who wants pancakes?” I asked.

“Me please,” Poppy answered, “have you got Nutella?”

“Of course I’ve got Nutella.”

“Could I have more coffee please?”

“I’ll make it,” Katie answered.

“Thank you, when I feel human again I think I’ll have a shower and get dressed.”

“You could have a nice bath,” Katie offered, “I’ll help you, I’d like to help wash your troubles away.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

“I need to pop into town in a bit, will you be ok on your own for a while?” I asked as we ate our breakfast.

“We’ll be fine,” Katie replied, “I checked my phone before and we’ve got plenty of homework to do.”

“Great, I just need to get you and Jenny a set of keys cut, I also need to sort you some pocket money Katie.”

“I’m so sorry my mum’s a fucking bitch, you shouldn’t have to do that. I could get a part time job to earn pocket money, I’m sure Tesco needs someone in the evenings.”

“I’m sure they do, but you have enough to do in the evenings with school work. I’m fine with letting you have pocket money, what we’ll do is get a second card on Poppy’s bank account and pay extra in each month. When we’re all settled in we can work up a chores rota so you’re both doing a little to earn your pocket money, does that sound ok?”

“Yes, that’s totally fair, I’m good at ironing and gardening,” Katie answered.

“Excellent,” I replied, “I’ll be gone for about an hour or so, if you have any problems phone Helen, but I have a feeling she’ll be popping in to see you both anyway.”

“Don’t worry dad, we’ll be fine,” Katie said as I opened the front door.

I’m not sure if she was being sarcastic calling me dad, or she meant it, either way, she was clearly comfortable in my house.

I left my keys at Timpsons while I popped into the bank, they’re not the cheapest but I really appreciate their social conscience, and all the good work they do providing work for ex-offenders.

The bank was much more co-operative today, they readily agreed to provide a second card for Poppy’s deposit account, I also showed Jeanie a copy of Poppy’s official deed poll.

“Ahh, you tracked down her mum,” Jeanie said.

“Yes, just in time too, she passed away yesterday.”

“Oh dear, that’s so sad.”

“Sad and happy, her mum has seen Poppy has been placed with a loving family, so she was pleased to sign the paperwork for the deed poll and adoption paperwork.”

“Oh really, so you’ve decided to adopt Poppy?”

“I have, we’ve bonded so well I couldn’t face letting her go.”

“I hear you’re dating the lady police officer, the one who was on the telly the other day.”

“Jenny Wilde, yes I am.”

“That’s such good news, you’ve needed someone to share your life. So, who is this girl we’re making a second card for?”

This isn’t information I need to give the bank, but I had no doubts she’d find out anyway.

“It’s Poppy’s girlfriend, her parents are working abroad, so we offered to take her in, unfortunately her parents failed to organise pocket money. She’s a lovely girl, and very special to Poppy.”

“That’s lovely, so you’re a proper family now.”

“Yes, we are.”

Before collecting my keys I popped into the bakers and bought some cakes, choosing all of Poppy’s favourites, I also picked up some flowers from Waitrose before setting off back home.

As I suspected, Helen was at the house, I heard her chatting quietly with Poppy in the lounge. Katie was getting on with her schoolwork in the kitchen.

“Hey dad,” Katie said before getting back to work.

“You’re calling me dad, you said you didn’t want to.”

“Ahh, well you’re so kind and caring you feel more like a dad than my real dad, is that ok?”

“It’s absolutely fine. How long has Helen been here?”

“About 20 minutes, I think they’re talking through Poppy’s feelings, she’s still a bit conflicted.”

“You know, if there’s anything you want to talk about, we’re all ready to listen.”

“Thanks, maybe I will one day. I feel a bit of a fraud because Poppy’s life has been hell up to now, I’ve had a comfortable life, I got pretty much anything I wanted, except love.”

“All children deserve to be loved, and when you don’t feel love it can hurt just as much as physical wounds, and often the effect lasts longer.”

“Maybe now I feel loved from all directions, all my old hurt will disappear on its own.”

“Maybe, but if it doesn’t, we’re all ears.”

“Thank you. Oh, I’ve just seen the flowers, are they for Poppy?”

“They’re for you both, and these are for you,” I said, putting a set of keys on a unicorn keyring on top of her book, “your bank card is coming soon, in the meantime here’s some pocket money.”

Katie picked up the keys, “I love the keyring, thank you. This makes me feel even more part of the family,” she picked up the money and flipped through the notes, “are you sure, this is a lot.”

“If you’re going shopping with Poppy tomorrow you’ll need money for clothes and things, Poppy has my card if you need extra money, she knows to ring me first for permission.”

She jumped up and hugged me tight, “thank you, this is wonderful, though we really need to speak to mum and dad to sort something out, she did say she’d pay you something towards my upkeep, you were going to talk about it when she came round to see my room, but that never happened. Maybe we should go round tomorrow, with Jenny.”

“Perhaps we should,”

“What happens if my laptop breaks, or I need a new phone, you can’t be paying for something that expensive.”

“Let’s speak to Jenny when she comes home.”

“Yes, let’s do that.”

“Let’s do what?” Poppy asked as she bounced into the kitchen, “oh, flowers, they’re lovely.”

“They’re for us, isn’t that a lovely gesture.”

Poppy looked at me, a tear in her eye, “it is, dad is such a special person. So, what are we doing?”

“We’re going to speak to Jenny when she gets home to see if she wants to come with me to see ‘my parents’ tomorrow,” she put air-quotes around my parents, “we need them to give dad some money for looking after me.”

“Definitely, I don’t mind sharing my pocket money with you to buy treats and clothes, but if you need something expensive it’s not fair, your birth parents should pay for that, surely if they’re paying for Ashley’s boarding they can give dad half that money for looking after you.”

“That’s right,” Helen said as she stepped into the kitchen and gave me a hug, “I’m sure we can lean on them to pay something towards Katie, if they don’t, then I suspect if we mention telling her new employers that she’s abandoned her daughter it will do the trick.”

“That’s awful, I don’t want to do that.”

“Last resort only,” Helen said, “but I personally will not let your birth parents get away with dumping you without some kind of punishment.”

“I’m with Aunty Helen on this,” Poppy said firmly.

“Ok, we’ll go round tomorrow, I’ll see if there’s anything left in my room I want to keep, and you can lean on them to pay something for my upkeep. Oh, and I’ve just remembered, isn’t Jenny moving her stuff here tomorrow?”

“Ahh, yes she is. We’ll go to your parents first, get the stressful job out of the way.”

“Can we use your office to do our school work?” Poppy asked.

“Of course you can, I’ll get some lunch sorted around 1 o’clock, is that ok?

“That’s perfect dad,” Katie said, “and thanks for that chat earlier.”

After they’d gone I put a pot of coffee on and Helen sat down for a chat.

“Katie’s calling you dad now.”

“I know, she’s decided she’s happier here than at home, she’s been shown more kindness and love in the past few days than she’s ever had at home.”

“In a way that’s just as sad as Poppy’s situation, you’ve got a family that is obviously wealthy, but they’re too wrapped up in their own lives to acknowledge their own children. They got all they wanted but love. Terrible, if you don’t mind I may just lay into that woman.”

Helen went home before lunchtime, promising to be round early tomorrow morning, riled up and ready to attack.

At one I called the girls down for lunch, I’d put together a chicken caesar salad which went down almost as well as the cakes I brought out for dessert.

Jenny phoned in the early afternoon. I went up to my office as she wanted to tell Poppy about Gemma before she heard it on the news. I put my phone on speaker and laid it on the desk.

“I just wanted you to be the first to know, it is Gemma, and Meghan. I’m not sure if it’s any help to you right now, but Gemma would have died almost instantly from the broken neck.”

“What about Meghan?” Poppy asked quietly.

“She wasn’t quite so lucky. It’s hard to tell after being buried for a few months, but she has multiple injuries.”

“I didn’t like Meghan, she lured me there so Kenzie could do that to me, but that doesn’t mean I wanted her to die like that. I’m glad he’s dead and I hope it wasn’t quick.”

“According to his post mortem he most likely suffered, the stab wound didn’t kill him straight away, he bled to death.”

“Good,” Poppy replied coldly before she returned to her Maths work.

I took my phone off speaker and walked back down stairs, “while you’re on, we’ve got a busy day tomorrow, Katie has decided she wants to go see her parents to make them pay me something towards her upkeep.”

“Ok, we can do that before we move the stuff from my flat, seriously, I have almost nothing, it’ll take a couple of hours at most. On the subject of Katie, the school were surprised she’s moved in with us, they’ve not heard a peep from her family, they said they’d speak to Ashley’s school to see what Vicky has told them.”

“It really is like they’ve decided she doesn’t exist.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking Alex?”

“Maybe, does it involve a visit to your friendly judge?”

“It does, would you be ok with that?”

“Honestly, if her parents repented and wanted to take her back they’d have to fight me for her.”

“Great, go back upstairs and I’ll speak to her, don’t put me on speaker.”

Back in the office I gave my phone to Katie, “Jenny wants a word, take it downstairs.”

“What’s up?” Poppy asked.

“I’ll let Katie tell you when she gets back.”

From the sound of the squeals of joy and the ‘oh my god’s the call went well, Katie ran back into the office and tossed my phone at me as she ran round the desk to hug Poppy, I left them to it.

“Katie seems excited,” I said as I left the office.

“Just a bit. I’m not rushing you am I, Alex, I’ve moved in and adopted a couple of children on your behalf.”

“Absolutely not, whilst I can’t claim it was love at first sight, I was definitely interested in you on our second meeting, and I guess if I hadn’t been attracted to you I probably wouldn’t have phoned you with the information that prompted that second meeting.”