I went all of yesterday without getting dressed. I know I’m not a nudist. I like clothes. They make me feel good. I know I can wear them for myself. Maybe I went nude yesterday for Logan, even though there’s no way he could appreciate it. Maybe some secret part of myself was penalizing him for not being here with me.

The only time I was ever on a nude beach was in one of his bedtime stories. I miss Logan’s bedtime stories. He’d tell them to me while we made love. I don’t remember the story exactly, but he got me to take off all my clothes on a beautiful deserted beach so he could admire me fully.

“You’re so beautiful,” he’d say as he fucked me. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” he’d say with each thrust. Everyone was watching us fuck. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.” I don’t think I could really fuck in front of a lot of people. I’m much too shy. Maybe I could fuck in front of Leila. I find that idea exciting. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” she’d say. Her words as much as Logan’s cock would make me come. In the bedtime stories, though, I’d usually come when Logan came. I love the feeling of him coming in me. I miss him.

Hmmmmm. I was just thinking of Logan fucking Leila. Mixed feelings. They are very beautiful together, in my mind. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. But I feel left out. Lonely. Alone. So alone right now.