Chapter 22

Life returned to normal on Monday. Gracie and I shared two classes in addition to Professor Joska’s, so we sat next to each other and talked about our project. We both had strong feelings about which style we should do, so we didn’t resolve anything. It was still early in the quarter, though, so I wasn’t worried.

After class Wren and I ate lunch together and then modeled. Siobhan had rearranged her syllabus, so we were posing together for the first weeks of the quarter. Afterward we met Trip and Christy at the Sports Bubble.

I was watching the girls do aerobics when I had a random thought: none of my girlfriends had been athletic. Kendall had been a ballet dancer, but that had been years before I met her. None of the others had done anything more than the occasional game of volleyball at camp. Daphne had been a dancer as well, but that was more entertainment than competition.

By contrast, Wren and Christy had been athletes most of their lives. Wren was about the same size as Gina, but the similarities ended there. Wren was curvy in all the same places, but had muscles to go with the curves.

Christy was a smaller version of her friend, and I studied her with new appreciation. She didn’t have a classic hourglass figure, but no one would ever mistake her for a boy. (I’d said that out of pure spite.) She’d been a dancer and gymnast as a girl, and was still ridiculously flexible. She reminded me of a prima ballerina, which she probably would’ve been if she hadn’t discovered diving.

Trip said something surly when he thought I was ogling Wren, but I didn’t tell him the truth. Maybe I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself. I still didn’t get along with Christy, and it bothered me that I was physically attracted to someone who didn’t like me.

Most of the girls looked good in their skintight outfits, but for some reason my eyes always returned to the little blonde. Maybe it was her bouncing ponytail. Maybe it was her tiny waist and cute little ass. Maybe I simply hadn’t had sex in a while. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she looked like without the leotard and leg warmers.

Trip and I finished about the same time as the girls, and we walked to Andy Holt together. They talked about the coming weekend, but I didn’t join in. I was still trying to shake off fantasies of Christy, so I turned my attention to my project.

“Do y’all wanna hang out after we shower and change clothes?” Wren asked.

The others agreed, but I shook my head.

“I have to meet Gracie before judo,” I said. “It’s a thing for Joska.”

Wren frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

The elevator stopped at the girls’ floor and Trip stepped off.

“I’m gonna ... um ... you know.” He pointed vaguely at Wren’s apartment.

I rolled my eyes and waved as the doors slid shut.

Upstairs I took a quick shower. I was still horny from thinking about Christy, but didn’t have time to jerk off. I thought about it, but decided to put work before pleasure. So I dressed and headed across campus.

Gracie answered the door with a scowl. “You’re late.”

“Sorry, I had to shower.”

“In the middle of the day?”

“I was at the Bubble. Working out.”

She hesitated a moment. “You can shower here next time. If you want.”

“Nah, that’s cool. I don’t wanna impose.”

“I don’t mind.”

I started to demur again, but gave it some thought instead. Trip and Wren could have some privacy in our apartment, and Christy would probably enjoy the break too. Her roommate was getting laid and she wasn’t, so I couldn’t really blame her for being short-tempered and snappish, since I felt the same way sometimes.

“Yeah, sure,” I told Gracie. “As long as you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

She switched gears and picked up a book from her desk. “So, about postmodernism...”

I took a deep breath and steeled myself for another round. “Sorry,” I said, as patiently as I could, “but I’m not going to ‘be reasonable’ and just do things your way.”

Tuesday was more of the same, although with different classes. In the afternoon I sparred with Glen instead of lifting weights with Trip. I also had a break from Gracie, which was a minor relief. We hadn’t made any progress on our project, big surprise, and I wondered how we’d ever get anything done if she was stubborn and inflexible all the time. Of course, it required two of us to argue, but that hardly mattered. I was right and she was wrong, end of story.

In spite of that, part of me actually enjoyed discussing styles with her. She was an idealist and a dreamer, but she was also smart. Still, we’d have to cooperate sooner or later if we wanted to get anything done. Part of me wondered if Joska was trying to teach us that as well.

Sadistic bastard.

Wednesday after design lab Trip and Wren headed to a concert. Fraternity rush was in full swing, so Jeff and Luke each had a party to attend. For my part, I was looking forward to a quiet evening by myself. Life had other plans for me, though. Daphne was waiting after judo practice.

“Hey,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Are you busy tonight?”

“Not especially. Why?”

“Would you like to take me to dinner?”

Part of me would miss my evening alone, but a bigger part wanted to spend time with her. She really was that beautiful. I recovered my composure and teased, “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What about Sara?”

“She’s out of town.”

I looked at her askance. “Does she know? About you and me, I mean.”

Daphne shrugged.

“Yeah, sure,” I said against my better judgment. “Let me get cleaned up. What do you feel like? Italian?”

She smiled, eager and demure at the same time.

She waited in my bedroom while I showered and shaved. I returned with a towel wrapped around my waist and remembered our first time together. Daphne smiled and went willingly as I gently pushed her to her knees. She knew me better than the first time, so she swallowed as much of my cock as she could.

“It’s so big,” she apologized when she pulled back.

I put my hand on the back of her head. I knew her better too, and she liked it when I took charge. I managed to cram another inch down her throat, but she gagged when I tried to go deeper. She didn’t enjoy it, but hid it well. I compromised by “forcing” her to take me only as deep as she could. I didn’t last long after that, and she moaned as I came in her mouth. It was an act, but I wasn’t about to complain.

Dinner was enjoyable, but I couldn’t help comparing her to Gracie. Daphne let me do all the talking, where Gracie would have argued and challenged everything I said. I didn’t enjoy the constant wrangling but liked the challenge of having to defend my ideas, so I didn’t know how I felt about Gracie.

Daphne must have sensed that she was losing me, because she gently stroked my leg. I perked up immediately and paid the check. Ten minutes later I parked behind an elementary school near campus. Daphne joined me in the back seat.

“Aunt Flo left a couple of days ago,” she said, breathless after a deep kiss.

“What? Who?”

“Aunt Flo ... and Cousin Red. So it’s safe if you want to...”

She urged me on with her body, so I freed my erection and pulled her panties aside. I slid into her with a low grunt of pleasure as she wrapped her legs around me.

“Go slow,” she said. “It’s been a while, and you’re big.”

I held out as long as I could, but something about her made me want to rush. I wasn’t particularly gentle as I pounded into her, but that’s what she enjoyed. Afterward we switched places and she lay half on top of me. I leaned against the car door, which wasn’t exactly comfortable, but she seemed happy.

Unfortunately, the only thing we really shared was a physical attraction. I’d known it before, but dinner had driven the point home. Daphne must have sensed my thoughts, because she rested a hand on my thigh and stroked a finger toward my flaccid penis.

“It’d be really nice to spend the night with you,” she said. “Maybe we could get a hotel room?”

“What about Sara?”

Daphne shrugged. “She actually likes you, but don’t tell her I told you.”

“Wait, Sara actually likes me?”

“Well, maybe not ‘likes,’ but she trusts you.”

“Trusts me to what? Be a man?”

“That,” she admitted, “but also ‘cause you’re not like the others, the ones from ... before.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Good.”

“She knows that we’re going to ... you know.” I gestured vaguely.

Daphne nodded.

“I dunno...”

“Please. I’ll make it worth your while.”

I didn’t like the idea that I could be bribed, but that was my problem, not hers.

“Besides,” she added, “there’s something I need to tell you.” She sat up and looked embarrassed. “You remember that stupid professor? The one who wanted to do a photo shoot?”

“Vaguely.”

“Well, she actually started measuring the pictures Sara took.”

My eyebrows rose.

“She’s just a stupid size queen,” Daphne said.

“Wait,” I said as the light dawned, “she thinks I’m not big enough? Seriously? She has some arbitrary standard and I don’t measure up?” Daphne looked nervous, so I laughed. “That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Why should I be? Maybe I’m a little disappointed, but that’s all. I mean, some woman just called my manhood small, but who the hell is she?”

Daphne shook her head quickly. “You’re not small.”

“Ah, now I get it,” I said. “You kept telling me how big I am.”

She looked surprised and a bit embarrassed that I’d noticed.

“Don’t worry about it. You were just trying to soften the blow ... so to speak.”

She didn’t get the joke. She was probably still worried that I might explode or get angry at her. I knew better than to shoot the messenger.

“So you’re not angry?”

“Not really. I’m a little confused, though.” I paused to gather my thoughts. “Let me see if I understand. Sara’s professor told her she’s not interested in me anymore because I don’t measure up, and you chose to break the news to me?”

“Um ... sort of. I thought it’d be better coming from me.” She added a bit defensively, “I didn’t think you’d react like this.”

“You thought I’d be upset?”

She nodded.

“And let me guess,” I added, “you thought I’d vent my spleen on you ... in bed.”

“Vent your what?”

“Never mind. You thought we’d have angry sex?”

“Sort of.”

“What is it with you? Do you need a major pounding every once in a while?” I heard my tone and immediately felt guilty. “Wait, forget I said that. Sorry. That was me venting my spleen. I guess I don’t like being manipulated. And I really don’t like it when you use your body as a ... sexual sop.”

“Sexual what?”

“Never mind,” I said again.

“I wasn’t using you,” she insisted. “It’s just that I ... really need it sometimes. So I thought—”

“Two birds with one stone?”

“You don’t mind, do you?”

Ha! Was she asking if I minded fucking her? “No, of course not. It’s just that...”

“I like being with you. I like”—she lowered her eyes—”when you use me.”

I started to object, but kept it to myself instead. Who was I to say what she should or shouldn’t like?

“So,” she ventured, “do you still want to...?”

“Get a hotel room? Of course. Kinda hard to fuck the hell out of you if I don’t.”

Her smile was the genuine article.

Leah called on Saturday morning. She’d had a talk with her mother and the world hadn’t come to an end. Elizabeth wasn’t exactly happy with the news, but she couldn’t do anything about it. She probably wouldn’t stop trying to steer Leah into medical school, but at least they’d had a grown-up discussion for a change.

She also told me that Gary had stuck to the bargain and revised his story, which had thrown the rumor mill into confusion. People still believed what they wanted, but that was life. In another bit of good news, she’d found a silver lining in the whole Gary saga. His name was Mark, and he was part of the in-crowd, although not from Gary’s circle.

Her friendship with Mark had started innocently enough, at the mall. She’d been with a group of friends and so had he. They’d gone their separate ways, but bumped into each other at a friend’s party that night. They hit it off and spent most of the night talking to each other. Leah had learned her lesson with Gary, which Mark seemed to understand, so he hadn’t asked her to make out.

“Oh, my God,” Leah said in the middle of telling me about him, “he said he’d call this morning. I’d better hang up in case he does. He wants to go to the mall, so I need to get ready. I haven’t even showered!”

After we hung up I spent a moment lost in thought. Leah and I had always been honest: we loved each other but weren’t in love. And if she had another guy in her life, I mused, then she wouldn’t want to spend much time with yours truly.

I didn’t know how I felt about that. I was happy for her, of course, but part of me wanted to keep her to myself. So I had to decide whose happiness was more important, hers or mine. In the end, I silently wished her the best of luck with Mark. She needed a nice guy in her life, one she could fall in love with.

I decided to call my parents before I turned melancholy and started to brood. I hadn’t spoken to them in a while and needed to ask about living at home over the summer. Erin answered on the first ring and immediately started talking.

“Whoa,” I stopped her. “Who do you think this is?” I could almost hear her confusion through the line.

“Sorry,” she said, “I thought you were Leah. I just called her, but she’s waiting for some guy to call and she said she’d call back after he did.”

“Ah, got it.” I said. “Mark, right?”

“Yeah, how’d you—? Never mind. She can tell me when I see her. I’m going over now. Talk to you later.”

She hung up and I stared at the phone in annoyance.

I dialed home again.

Erin answered on the first ring. “Did he call?”

“It’s me again, Er.”

“Ugh! What do you want?”

“The same thing I wanted the first time. Is Mom there?”

“God! Whatever.” She muffled the phone against her shoulder and yelled, “Mom! It’s Paul!” The handset clattered onto her nightstand and she started banging around her bedroom.

Mom picked up and yelled for Erin to hang up. “I swear,” she muttered to herself, “I’m gonna kill that girl.” Then to me, “Pray that you never have a teenage daughter. She’ll drive you batshit crazy.”

I chuckled. My mother did not swear lightly.

She took a deep breath and continued, “But that’s not why you called, is it, dear? How are you? How’s school?”

She seemed to relax as I told her about my life. Then I asked about living at home and she perked up.

“Seriously? That would be wonderful.”

“Um ... why? What’s up?”

“We want to build an in-ground hot tub, and your dad plans to manage the construction between trips. But he has to fly as much as he can—we need to pay for the thing and he wants to buy a new airplane—so he won’t have much time. But if you’re going to be here, you can take care of everything.”

“Be happy to,” I said, although it would mean extra work when I didn’t have a lot of spare time to begin with. Then again, I would be living rent-free in suburban Atlanta. That alone was a huge benefit. I couldn’t imagine my parents actually charging me rent, but it’d be nice to earn my keep for a change.

“Your dad will be relieved,” Mom continued, “especially since you’ll do a better job.”

My jaw dropped as her words registered. My father had always been the man who could do anything, at least as far as I was concerned. So it came as a bit of a shock when my mom considered me the better man, especially for something as simple as a small construction project.

“He’s been driving the contractor nuts,” Mom continued.

“Tell Dad not to worry,” I told her. “I’ll take care of everything.” That was another first: me telling my father to relax, like I was a pro from Dover. Ha!

Mom and I talked for a while longer, about the hot tub and their plans for the summer.

“Oh, that reminds me,” she said, “Grandma and Grandpa invited Erin on a cruise.”

“Oh?”

“They wanted to invite you too, but I told them you probably couldn’t because of work. I hope you don’t mind.”

Part of me did mind, but she was right.

She must’ve heard the disappointment in my silence. “Maybe you can do something with them next summer.”

“I’m going to be just as busy then.” I sounded petulant and immediately regretted it. “Sorry. It’s okay. I mean, I’m not a kid anymore.”

“No, you’re not. Besides, Erin really needs to get away. She’s been ... a bit of a pill lately.”

I chuckled at the understatement.

We talked for a few more minutes and then said goodbye. I was excited about the hot tub, since it would be a chance to prove myself to my parents. But then I had another thought: my dad had lost some of his luster. Oh, I’d known for a while that he wasn’t a superman or anything, but some illusions die hard.

Before I could brood about that too, I decided to go for a run. Afterward I blew off Gracie by going to the airport. Now that I had my instrument rating, I wanted to work on the next stage of flight training. Earl Walker was lounging in the FBO with a couple of the other regulars, and my question started a grand debate. In the end they recommended a High Performance endorsement and then multi-engine training.

“Okay,” I said, “when can we start?”

Clearly, I thought I had too much free time.

I talked to Leah a couple of times over the next week and heard all about Mark. They’d made out at his house one day after school, and the rumor mill was completely silent the next day. They’d gone a bit further two nights later (“Only second base,” Leah said), and nothing circulated about that either.

Leah had once told me that Gina had been lucky in high school, because I didn’t blab about what we did in bed. I’d known at the time that it was important, but Gary had given me a new appreciation of what it meant. So I was happy for Leah, although she wouldn’t be coming to Knoxville for any more long weekends.

Daphne had gotten her fill of me too—ahem!—so my prospects for casual sex didn’t look so hot. I wouldn’t go crawling back to Gina, and Kendall still ignored me whenever we saw each other around campus. I didn’t want to sneak around with Sandra the bitter trophy wife, and I couldn’t add inches to my johnson even if I wanted to satisfy the size queen. So I needed to start dating again.

I’d never had a problem meeting girls, but I wasn’t looking for a one-night stand. I thought about asking Gracie out, but didn’t relish the idea of dinner and an argument. She was attractive enough, and definitely smart enough, but entirely too contrary for my taste. I thought about mending fences with Christy but didn’t know where to begin, probably because I wasn’t sure what was wrong.

In the end I started paying more attention to girls around campus, which was how I met Paige. She was a blue-eyed blonde with a nice body and an even nicer smile. I met her coming out of the Baptist Student Union. We made eye contact as I jogged past, so I slowed to a stop, turned around, and introduced myself.

I only intended to ask for her phone number, but we hit it off and talked for fifteen minutes. I asked her to dinner instead. It was a normal date, with lots of the usual chitchat, but I could tell that she was into me. Not surprisingly, our goodnight kiss turned into a heavy make-out session in a secluded stairwell. We didn’t want to push things too far on the first date, so I sent her upstairs alone. I discovered her wild side on our second date. We were driving to dinner when she suggested a movie instead.

“What do you want to see?”

She shrugged with studied indifference. “I don’t care. I don’t plan on facing the screen, if you know what I mean.”

I almost wrecked the Cruiser as I veered into the theater parking lot. I picked a movie at random, and we spent the first twenty minutes making out. Things heated up from there, and she didn’t balk when I put her hand on my hard-on. Since we were in the back row, I asked if she wanted me to take it out. She went from stroking to sucking to swallowing in record time.

After the movie I drove to the elementary school parking lot, where we made out some more. She let me take off her blouse and bra, but put on the brakes when I moved lower. She was an “experienced virgin,” she said, and was saving herself for marriage. I was disappointed until she offered to go down on me again.

Unfortunately, that’s as far as we ever went. She didn’t have any qualms about spending the night with me, but her panties never came off. She wasn’t shy about giving head either, although she absolutely refused to do more. She hinted pretty heavily that she’d have sex with a guy if he were her fiancé, but I wasn’t willing to go that far just to get laid. We were both fairly honest about what we wanted, though, so we parted as friends after only a couple of weeks.

I met Kimberly a day later. She was sitting on a bench outside the Catholic Center. Like Paige, she was petite and blonde, with blue eyes and a come-hither smile. We struck up a conversation so I asked for her phone number. I called her later that afternoon, and we had our first date the night after that.

I should have known she was different when she asked me to church on our second date. I went to Mass with her, although I felt like an idiot. I didn’t know when to sit or stand, and had no idea what to say when the congregation replied to the priest en masse.

I persevered because Kimberly had a body that would make Hugh Hefner jealous. She was a complete tease, but pretended to be a good girl, so I couldn’t wait to get into her panties. Fortunately, I knew just the thing to loosen her up: alcohol. Even better, Wren was throwing a birthday party for Christy at their apartment, and Kimberly said it sounded like fun.

I picked her up that evening and nearly split my zipper when I saw her dress. It clung to her curves and showed more cleavage than I thought she had. She gave me a chaste hug and kiss, but lingered so I had a good view down her dress.

The party was just getting started when we arrived, and I introduced her to everyone. She and Christy recognized each other from church, but neither seemed happy to see the other. Christy introduced me to her date, Ronald. Something about him put me off immediately. We parted with fake smiles all around, and I steered Kimberly toward the kitchen and booze. She took a wine cooler and gave me an encouraging smile.

Things went great until I took her back to her dorm. I was a bit drunk and a lot horny, so I probably pushed things faster than she was ready for. She pretended to have a headache, so I said goodnight, went home, and took a long shower to relieve my frustration.

Things didn’t go any better on our third date. Kimberly liked to make out, although she stopped me every time I tried to cop a feel. She also liked flirting and sexual innuendos, but shut me down any time I tried to act on her come-ons.

She obviously liked the attention, but on our fourth and final date she dropped a bombshell: she wasn’t “that kind of girl,” and I was sadly mistaken if I thought otherwise. I was too much of a gentleman to tell her what to do with her priggish attitude, but she got the gist. I stopped calling after that, and she was probably happy that I did.

After Paige’s Baptist hypocrisy and Kimberly’s Catholic cock-tease, I wasn’t in the mood for another religious girl, so I decided to cool it for a while. I needed to find the right girl, one who actually wanted to have sex instead of just fool around.

I was sitting in the Old College Inn doing homework by myself one afternoon when the waitress lingered after she brought my beer. She was attractive and curvy, basically a blonde version of Kendall (although shorter). The bar was deserted after the lunch crowd, and the early drinkers hadn’t arrived yet. I was one of only two customers.

“I’m not busy,” the waitress said. “Mind if I join you?”

I closed my books. “Be my guest. I’m Paul, by the way.”

She slid into the booth beside me. “Tracy.” She took a sip of my beer. “I’ve seen you in here before.”

We made small talk until the customer at the bar paid his tab and left. Then Tracy gave me a smoldering look and leaned in for a kiss. I obliged and she rested a hand on my thigh. The kiss deepened and she slid her fingers toward my crotch.

“Mmm,” she breathed, “wanna go in the back and fool around?”

I must have looked as surprised as I felt, because she laughed and called to the bartender, a pretty redhead with freckles and an Aussie accent.

“I’m going to check the liquor stock, Miranda,” Tracy said. “Keep an eye out?”

Tracy led me into the manager’s office and locked the door behind us. Then she kissed me again and began unbuttoning my shirt.

“Do you have protection?” she asked as she unbuckled my belt.

“Um ... yeah.”

She took the condom, ripped open the packet, and expertly rolled the latex over my shaft.

We fucked against the desk, hard and fast. When it was over she cleaned up, adjusted her panties, and grinned.

“Thanks,” she said. “I needed that.” Then she gave me another kiss and opened the door. “Sorry, I have to get back to work. Wanna stick around? We can fuck again after close.”

I blinked in surprise. I was used to assertive women, but she took the cake. “Sorry,” I said as I looked at my watch, “I can’t. I have something to do.”

She pouted.

“I can come back later, though.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

I returned later, of course, and Tracy led me to the manager’s office after the bar closed. She was like a teenage boy’s fantasy, horny and eager. I returned again the next afternoon and we slipped into the manager’s office. I couldn’t believe my luck when she handed me a tube of K-Y, bent over, and spread her ass.

The rest of the week was more of the same. My friends wondered why I was spending so much time at the bar, but I dodged their questions. Wren figured it out when she asked if I wanted company while I “studied.” She made noises about wanting to approve my new girlfriend, but she was mostly teasing.

As far as girlfriends went, I wasn’t sure that Tracy actually qualified. We had sex every time we were together, but never went on a proper date. I really shouldn’t have been surprised when our relationship came to an abrupt end. One afternoon I arrived at the bar and a new waitress greeted me. Miranda the bartender asked the new girl to cover for her. She took me aside and explained.

“Sorry, mate,” she said, “but Tracy isn’t here anymore.”

“Why? What happened?”

Miranda had the grace to look embarrassed. “She quit. Her ... um ... boyfriend finally popped the question.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. He’s a lawyer. Downtown. She moved in with him and works in his office now. I guess he wants to keep her close. Can’t say I blame him, really. I think he twigged to her extracurricular activities.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I thanked Miranda and left. Part of me was completely bewildered by Tracy and our whirlwind “relationship,” but another part was genuinely upset. I didn’t mind the casual sex, but something about it had been too casual. She had a boyfriend? A lawyer? And she was going to marry him?

I was too embarrassed to talk to Wren, so I called Susan instead.

“Do you honestly think you had a future with her?” she asked when I finished my story.

I realized that I hadn’t really thought about it before. Worse, I’d been thinking with my dick, and it pained me to admit it. In my defense, it was partly a reaction to Paige and Kimberly and their religious hang-ups. I knew better, though, and mindless sex with Tracy wasn’t the answer.

“No, I guess not,” I said at last.

“Then it’s time to move on, like Tracy did.”

“Seriously? Women can do that? I thought only guys did.”

“It’s the Eighties,” Susan said with a laugh. “Women’s lib and all.”

“Some liberation,” I muttered.

“Now you know how women have felt for years.”

I harrumphed, but she was right.

“Just enjoy it for what it was, a week of meaningless sex.”

“But I don’t want meaningless sex,” I half-whined.

“You did while it was happening.”

“Yeah, but this is different.”

“How?”

“How? What do you mean, ‘how?’”

She laughed again.

“You’re having fun at my expense.”

“Oh, indeed.”

I sulked, but she knew me too well to take it to heart.

“You’ll survive,” she said at last. “And you learned a valuable lesson.”