Chapter 19

I followed Trip and the girls into the living room. I thought Christy would keep crying or do something else to earn some sympathy, so I was surprised when she turned and squared her shoulders. Her eyes were rimmed with red, but shone with a lot more determination than I gave her credit for.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I ... I don’t know what else to say. What we did— What I did ... was wrong.”

“What you did was despicable.”

She didn’t try to deny it.

I gave her points for courage, but I wasn’t through yet. “It was thoughtless and deliberately cruel.”

Her eyes welled with fresh tears and she fought them back.

I almost relented, but then I thought about the other people she’d hurt. “Daphne and Sara never did anything to you,” I said, “but your vicious little whispering campaign will dog them until they graduate ... or until they leave school.” I wouldn’t miss Sara, but Daphne and I still had something between us, even if it wasn’t love.

“We can tell people the truth,” Wren suggested.

“What good would that do?” I shot back. “You know how these things are. They take on a life of their own.”

“He’s right,” Trip said grimly. “People will believe it simply ‘cause it’s easier than finding out the truth.”

“Will you tell them I’m sorry?” Christy asked. “I never meant any of this to happen. I didn’t think it wou—”

“You didn’t think! Period.”

She couldn’t meet my eyes, but agreed with a small headshake.

“And Ash...,” I continued darkly. “She’s...” I didn’t have words to describe her without offending women everywhere.

“It was my idea as much as hers,” Christy admitted. “I didn’t think it through, but I knew what I was doing.”

“That only makes it worse.”

“Yes,” she said softly, “it does.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she let it out, she met my eyes. “I’ll understand if you never want to speak to me again.”

“Oh, please,” I snapped, “what good would that do?”

She fell silent and looked at me.

I tried to sort through my thoughts. If Christy had shifted the blame to Ash or offered a half-hearted or defiant apology, I would’ve written her off without a second thought. But she hadn’t. Instead, she’d been honest and sincere. I respected that, even if I didn’t want to admit it. She also faced me without flinching. She knew how angry I was, but she hadn’t used that as an excuse to hide from what she’d done. I respected that too. And as much as I wanted to punish her, I realized that she’d be harder on herself than I ever would.

Wren broke the silence. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” I said at last.

Christy spoke softly, “Do you want me to apologize? To Daphne and Sara?”

I studied her for a moment and wondered what she had against Daphne. She barely knew Sara. She’d probably only seen her that one time in the apartment lobby. But it was different with Daphne. Was she the competition? The other woman? Did Christy have a thing for me? She probably did—or used to, at least—which explained a lot. I looked at her in a new light and wondered how I would’ve reacted in the same situation.

Probably a lot worse, I admitted in a moment of honesty. I could be as petty and vindictive as anyone. My temper made things worse because my first reaction was usually violent. What would I have done if someone took something—or someone—that I thought was mine?

I laughed darkly and knew the answer: I’d pick a fight with my best friend and then run away and sulk for a week. And let’s not even mention what else I’d done during that week.

Gee, how mature, I mocked. And despicable. And completely contemptible. That’s what I’d thought about Christy and Ash, but it applied to me as much as them. I snorted another soft laugh and thought about pots and kettles. After all, who was I to judge? So I took another look at Christy and sized her up. Instead of running away, she had taken responsibility for her actions. That was more than I’d done, and I’d be a hypocrite to say otherwise.

“What should I do?” she asked again.

“How should I know?” I said, and pinched the bridge of my nose. Then I realized how she was holding herself: shoulders back, almost at attention. I wanted to laugh aloud at the image of the admiral disciplining his youngest child. She might’ve been his only daughter and the apple of his eye, but I didn’t think a man like him would let her off the hook simply because she was a girl. More importantly, I wasn’t him, and it wasn’t my place to punish her, or even to lecture her.

“You can sit down, for starters,” I said.

She looked confused for a moment, but sank to the sofa. Wren sat beside her and Trip settled onto the arm of the couch, supportive but not too close. I threw myself into the chair and blew out a long breath.

“Relax,” I said at last. “This is my fault as much as yours.”

“But...?”

Wren touched her friend’s leg. Of all the people in the room, I think she understood me better than anyone.

“Look,” I said, “I’ll smooth things over with Daphne and Sara.” I didn’t know how, but I’d try.

“Are you sure? I’m the one who—”

I shook my head. “Trust me. You don’t want to deal with Sara.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Not with her. She’s been fighting for her life for a long time, against tougher customers than you.” I winced inwardly at the word “customers,” but continued anyway. “I don’t know if I could take her in a serious fight.” I leveled my gaze at the petite blonde. She was half Sara’s size and didn’t have the survival instincts. “Trust me, you don’t want anything to do with her. Like I said, let me deal with her.”

“What about Ash?”

“Ash is dead to me,” I said flatly. “She doesn’t exist.” I looked into Christy’s eyes to gauge her reaction to what I said next. “I know you’re taking your share of the blame, but Ash was the evil genius behind this little scheme.”

Christy started to deny it, but I could see that it was true.

“I don’t want someone like her in my life,” I said, “the kind of person who’d deliberately hurt another.” For a moment I wondered if I fit that description.

“And what about us?” Christy asked, her voice shaky. “Are we still friends?”

“You and me?” I shrugged.

“Will you at least accept my apology?”

I wanted to tell her that I’d accept only if she accepted mine for everything else, but I didn’t like the idea of setting conditions on forgiveness.

“Of course,” I said. “Everybody screws up. Believe me, I know that better than anyone. But I don’t want to beat a dead horse—yours or mine—so let’s just move on and try to be nice to each other. Okay?”

“Okay.”

I fell silent for a few moments, but then mused, “Are we still friends? I guess. Will it be the same as before? I dunno. I guess we’ll see.”

She accepted with a stoic nod, and everyone relaxed visibly as the tension ebbed.

“Well,” Trip said, “I’m glad that’s over.”

“It’s not over,” Wren and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and shared a dark laugh. She knew me, and I definitely knew her as well.

“I still have to deal with Sara,” I said. “And to a lesser extent Daphne.”

“And I’m going to talk to Ash.”

Trip and I exchanged a look. We both knew from experience that we didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Wren’s anger.

“What’re you going to do?” Christy asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Wren said, “but she’s gonna come to Jesus.”

“You don’t mean that literally, do you?”

“That depends on her.”

After Christy and Wren left, I asked Trip if I could have some time alone to think.

“That’s cool,” he said. “I need to work on my project anyway.” He gathered his drafting tools and carrying tube. “See you in a couple of hours?”

“Yeah, that’ll work.”

Jeff and Luke were out, so I had the apartment to myself. The first thing I did was take a long, hot shower, which rinsed away more than sweat. I wish I could’ve washed the entire day from my memory, but soap and water only go so far. Still, I emerged from the shower clean and in a better mood than before. I wasn’t ready to sing “Kumbaya” or anything, but at least I didn’t want to kill anyone. Much.

After I dressed in a pair of dry sweats, I called Susan. It was a bit late, but I didn’t think she’d be in bed yet.

“Hey,” I said when she answered. “It’s Paul. I hope it’s not too late.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I was reading an investment proposal, so I’m glad for the distraction. How are you? Wait, let me guess ... late-night phone call on a weeknight? That can’t be good.”

“I’ve been better,” I said with a tired sigh. Then I told her about my day. Her only comment was to ask what I thought about the rumor.

“About them being strippers?” I said, and shrugged. “I dunno. I mean, it would explain a couple of things.”

“And what about the other? About them being prostitutes?”

I shrugged again and thought about it before answering. “You know I don’t have any hang-ups about that. Heck, I wouldn’t mind getting paid for sex if I could. So I don’t see anything wrong with a woman doing it. I mean, it’s her body, after all.”

“Yes, but it’s not exactly the safest profession in the world. There are lots of bad people involved. Not to mention the drugs, diseases, and other dangers.”

“Yeah, but even if Daphne and Sara used to be involved, they aren’t now. Well, I don’t think they are, at least. I’d know.”

“Would you?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, Daphne started sleeping with me because she wanted something she wasn’t getting. If she were still ... um ... having sex for money, she wouldn’t need me, now would she?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. There’s a difference between anonymous sex and emotional sex.”

“Yeah, I know, and it’s definitely emotional with Daphne and me.”

“Ah, I see.” She paused. “Do you love her?”

“In a way.” I thought about it for a moment and tried to sort out my feelings. “I... care about her. I guess that’s the best way to describe it. I don’t want to see her hurt, but she’s not my soul mate or anything.”

“And what about Sara?”

“It’s more complicated with her. I mean, I’m definitely attracted to her, but she’s ... damaged.” I fell silent, and Susan let me think. “Do you remember how Stacy was when we first met her? Sara is like that, sort of. But where Stacy retreated into her little-girl world, Sara became a man-hater. She turned hard, and very defensive. She still doesn’t like me, not really, but I think she’s beginning to realize that I’m not your typical male chauvinist pig.”

“No, you’re definitely not that,” Susan said with a laugh that raised my spirits more than anything had all night. We shared a moment of amused silence before she said, “So, what’re you going to do?”

“I think I’m going to bide my time and see what happens. I’m not really the wait-and-see type, but I don’t think I can dive into this guns-hot. If I ask Daphne and Sara about the rumors, it’ll put them on the defensive. I definitely don’t want that. And if I act too nice, they’ll think it’s out of pity or something. That’s how Sara’ll see it, at least. Daphne? I dunno. She’s more of a mystery, but she wants—heck, needs—a guy who’s in control.”

Susan laughed again, light-hearted and teasing. “That’s you all right.”

“Believe it or not, I am in control these days. Well, mostly. I still have moments, but I’m really trying to do better.”

“Oh, I know. I can tell. Before, we would’ve had this conversation after you’d done something ... oh ... shall we say, ill-advised.”

“You mean stupid.”

“You could say that,” she said, a smile in her voice.

I had to smile too, although mine was rueful. “Yeah, well, I’m trying to grow up.”

“You’re doing a pretty good job.”

“Thanks. I’ve had good instructors.”

“Aw, shucks,” she teased, and we shared another laugh.

After that we talked about my options. I didn’t really like any of them, but I had to deal with the situation I was given. When we finally said goodbye and hung up, I felt a lot better about things.

As I lay there and stared at the ceiling, I went over the phone call in my head. When I thought about who’d said what, I realized that I’d done most of the talking. That wasn’t unusual with Susan—she was a good listener—but it was unusual when I wanted advice.

“Jeez,” I thought aloud, “maybe I am growing up.”

I snorted a laugh and bounced to my feet. I had too much pent-up emotion to sleep, so I grabbed my coat and project drawings. Trip would probably still be in the design lab, and I knew he’d appreciate the company.

Christy was subdued at breakfast the next morning, and Ash didn’t show up at all. For a moment I harbored the fantasy that Wren might’ve killed her and disposed of the body. Then I shook my head in disbelief at my own imagination. It could be pretty wild at times, even for me.

When Meredith asked about her, Wren said, “She won’t be joining us for a while.”

“She didn’t say anything to me,” Zoë said.

Our little circle of friends had a pecking order like any other. Until then, Ash and Wren had vied for the top spot among the girls. Christy had always been in Wren’s orbit, and Meredith tended to gravitate that way as well. Zoë was Ash’s friend and roommate, so she needed to decide if she liked the new order or not.

Wren let the question hang there until everyone was paying attention. Then she deliberately set her knife and fork on her plate. She dabbed at the corner of her mouth with her napkin, folded it, and neatly tucked it under the edge of her plate. I almost laughed at her flair for the dramatic. She definitely knew how to work a crowd.

When she finally looked at Zoë and smiled, her expression was cool and completely polite. “She said she had some things to think about. I’m sure she’ll join us again when she’s feeling a bit more ... sociable.”

Zoë knew what was going on, but she didn’t have the courage to challenge the new status quo. “Oh, okay,” she said at last.

The tension lingered until Wren replaced her napkin in her lap and returned to her breakfast. Her smile was the same as one I’d seen in National Geographic, on a lioness that had just settled the issue of alpha female once and for all.

“Did you see where it’s supposed to snow again?” Christy said to no one in particular. “They say it’ll be in the teens and twenties the rest of the week.”

“Yeah, I saw that,” Meredith said, and turned her newspaper to the weather forecast.

Conversation slowly resumed around us, but Trip, Wren, and I remained silent. Part of me wanted to laugh at her “I’m the boss” act. Another part wanted to tease Trip for thinking he could tame her. But the biggest part was simply thankful that she was my friend.

The rumors in the A&A building had died down, but I still heard whispered conversations, and people looked at me after I passed them. When I didn’t see Daphne or Sara all day, I went looking for them after design class. I didn’t want to seem obvious about checking on them, so I put on my jogging clothes and went for a run in Fort Sanders.

I ran by their house once without stopping. No one shot at me or chased me with a butcher knife, so I made a loop around the block and came back for another pass. This time I jogged up the walk and stopped at their door. I hesitated a moment and then laughed at myself for being nervous.

Daphne answered when I knocked. She looked so good that she nearly took my breath away. She was dressed in jeans and a simple cable-knit sweater, but they fit like a second skin. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she wasn’t wearing much makeup. She didn’t need much, though, and I liked her better when she wasn’t decorated for a date.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I haven’t talked to you in a couple of days,” I said, “and I was in the neighborhood. So I decided to drop by. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“So ... um ... do you want to go for a walk or something?”

She looked back into the apartment. “Okay,” she said at last. “Step inside while I get my coat.”

“Where’s Sara?” I asked as Daphne wrote a quick note.

“She has a shoot. She and Jamie are up in Gatlinburg.”

“Jamie?” I said. “Do I know her?”

Daphne smiled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” she said, and handed me her white coat with the fur collar.

I helped her into it and we left the apartment. We walked around the block, just talking about everyday stuff. I desperately wanted to ask her about the rumors, but she acted like she hadn’t heard them.

“Do you want to go to dinner?” I asked as we returned to the big Victorian house.

“I’d better not,” she said. “Sara will be home soon, and ... you know...”

“She won’t be happy if you’re out with me.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s cool,” I lied.

“Do you want to do something tomorrow?” she asked. “Maybe after karate practice?”

I smiled and didn’t correct her. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

She sensed my disappointment and leaned close. “I’ll suck you off,” she whispered.

“Now?” I wanted to kick myself for sounding so desperate, but I didn’t take it back.

She shook her head with an indulgent smile, but leaned in for a kiss.

I obliged her, and grabbed a handful of ass as I pulled her close. She bent backward and started to yield as my erection pressed her thigh, but then she pushed me away.

“Tomorrow,” she said. “I promise.”

I settled into my pose as Siobhan told the class what she wanted them to sketch. When I finally got situated, Daphne gave me a look that made my pulse race. Even a eunuch would’ve gotten hard, and I was definitely still a man. Wren noticed my reaction and chuckled as she followed my gaze.

“So,” she said, “everything’s all right?”

“I guess,” I said, although it was hard to tell with Daphne. She was so good at hiding her emotions that I didn’t know what was going on in her head.

“Did she fall to her knees and worship at the altar of Paul?” Wren teased sotto voce.

“You’re pure evil,” I whispered back. “You know that, right?”

“That’s what Trip said last night ... when I—”

“It’s the bottom of the seventh and Sister Eunice is at the plate,” I muttered. “Two outs with the go-ahead run on second base.”

“Second base?” Wren teased. “We went a lot further than that. Trip hit a home run three times b—”

“Eleanor Roosevelt is on the mound,” I went on, “and Sister Eunice digs in as the first lady winds up.”

Wren giggled and gave up, although by that point I was completely hard. Fortunately I was in Rodin’s Thinker pose, and my arm stopped my dick from pointing skyward. In spite of that, the students directly in front of me—just my luck that they were all girls—could see my hard-on.

Daphne made things worse. She was wearing one of her thin bras and must have been as horny as I was, because her nipples were doing their best to poke holes in her sweater.

I struggled to keep my erection in check for the next forty-five minutes. Whenever I thought I had things under control, Wren would tease me with a soft sound of pleasure, or Daphne would close her eyes and take a deep breath like she was fighting down her own desires.

Siobhan took pity on me and let us go a few minutes early. I managed to put on my robe without embarrassing myself. I jammed my hands in the robe’s pockets and held my erection to the side, but it was still obvious. A couple of girls noticed and shared a grin, which made me flush with embarrassment.

Wren broke into a fit of laughter when we reached the sanctuary of Siobhan’s office. “God, I should feel bad for teasing you,” she said, “but it’s too much fun.”

“Yeah, well, payback is hell.”

“Oh?”

I shot her a dark look and punctuated it with the snap of my boxers against my waist.

“Nice tent,” she said sweetly. “Going camping?”

I ignored her, but she didn’t relent until I finally shrugged into my backpack and tried to hide the bulge in my pants by zipping up my coat.

“Really,” she said with another laugh, “you’re entirely too much fun.”

“And you’re gonna get it one day.”

Her eyes lit up. “One day soon?”

I started to walk out without replying, but then turned and backed her against the desk with my body. “I would love to give it to you,” I said. “All eight inches.” (So it was an exaggeration. What can I say? The truth didn’t sound as menacing.) Then I changed tactics and smiled. “So,” I asked mildly, “when do you want it? I’m sure Trip would love for me to join you.”

“Oh, that’s just mean.”

“What? You mean he doesn’t want a threesome?”

“You know he doesn’t.”

“That’s too bad, ‘cause you wouldn’t be able to walk straight after we finished with you.” I sighed and shook my head in mock disappointment. “But I guess that’s not gonna happen. Sucks, don’t it?”

“Not fair.”

“I can tease too, Beautiful,” I said. “And I learned from someone who makes us look like amateurs. Chin up, though. I’m sure you’ll get what you want ... eventually. Trip can’t hold out forever.”

“You don’t know Trip,” she muttered darkly.

My grin turned into a chuckle. “Ah, but he doesn’t know you. You don’t take no for an answer. Not when you really want something.” I touched the back of her neck and tilted her face up for a kiss. I bent close but didn’t quite reach her lips. “Besides,” I said softly, “you know how much I want it.”

Her eyes flashed open and she shoved me away when she realized that I wasn’t going to kiss her.

I laughed it off. “In the meantime,” I said, “I’m going to give it to Daphne like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s really not fair!”

“Like I said,” I replied, “I can tease with the best of ‘em.”

She was still sputtering when I closed the office door behind me.

Daphne had already left, which was probably for the best, since I had to get to Professor Liang’s class. I’d been late too many times already, and word would get back to Joska if I kept it up. So I headed to the computer lab and slid into my seat next to Gracie.

“I didn’t think you were going to make it,” she said, but then trailed off.

I glanced at her and felt my cheeks flush when I caught her staring at the bulge in my pants.

She met my eyes but couldn’t hold them.

I was still in a teasing mood, so I turned to my desk without trying to hide my erection. If she wants to look, I thought, let her look.

I climbed off of Daphne and slouched across from her in the back seat. The window was cold against the back of my head, but I ignored it and let my eyes droop as I breathed deep through my nose. Light from the solitary streetlamp cast a soft glow through the fogged windows of the Land Cruiser. The alley behind Kmart wasn’t the most romantic spot, but Daphne hadn’t complained.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”

“Um ... maybe in a few minutes,” I said. “I’m fine for now.”

She felt her pussy. “But you didn’t come.”

“Are you kidding? I blew a huge load.”

“Where?”

“In the condom. Where’d you think?”

“But ... you weren’t wearing one.” She sat up and looked. “Oh.”

My dick was still mostly hard, and the full condom was obvious. I didn’t particularly like the new brand, though. They were too tight, but they were thinner than my usual Trojans.

As long as they hold, I thought, and pinched the tip of the sheath as I tugged it off my pole. I winced as it tried to pull half my skin with it, but then it released and snapped free.

“They’re new,” I said. “I thought I’d try ‘em to see if they helped ... with ... um ... you know.” I gestured at her pussy. “I guess they do. Chalk one up for the pharmacist.”

“Huh?”

“I told him about your symptoms.”

She abruptly closed her legs and then crossed her arms over her breasts.

“Whoa,” I backpedaled, “I don’t think you have VD or anything. I just told him about your ... um... reaction when I wear a condom.”

She relaxed a bit, but not completely.

“He said you might be allergic to latex, so he suggested these.” I fished the two remaining condoms out of my pants pocket. “They’re lambskin,” I said. “Natural.”

She took one of the foil packets and tilted it toward the light. “You got these just for me? Special and all?”

“Sure. I mean, you didn’t seem to like the others. You always ... um ... squirmed. And you didn’t really enjoy sex except when I was bareback. At first I thought it might be me ... you know, my size. I know I’m not huge, but—”

“Oh, no, I like big dicks.”

“Oh ... that’s good,” I said. “But you don’t like it when I wear a condom, so...”

“They always ... itch.”

“Yeah, the pharmacist asked about that. He also asked if your skin gets red or develops blisters. I didn’t think you did, but ... um ... I haven’t really looked that close afterward.”

“I don’t get blisters,” she said, “but I get red sometimes, especially after several times.”

“Sorry I didn’t notice sooner. Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugged indifferently and held up the condom packet. “So I’m allergic to latex?”

“Evidently.”

“And you got these just ‘cause I didn’t like the others?”

I nodded.

Daphne wasn’t a genius like Kendall, or even Gina, but she wasn’t dumb either. She knew what I’d done and why, but she didn’t know how to react. I watched the emotions play across her face in the unguarded moment: confusion, suspicion, affection, and then arousal.

All of a sudden she climbed on my lap and started kissing me, quickly at first, but with growing passion. My dick reacted predictably, and after several heated minutes, I groped the seat until I found one of the condom packets.

Daphne felt what I was doing and sat back long enough to take it from me. She extracted the condom and expertly rolled it over my shaft. Then she steadied me with one hand and sank onto my pole.

I started to say something, but she bent over me and kissed me again. Then she sat up and began riding me in earnest. Her head pressed against the roof, but she didn’t seem to care. She was in her own little world, so I put my hands on her hips and watched her face as she rose and fell on my cock.

She put on quite a show, cupping her breasts and tweaking her nipples until she sat down hard and ground her clit against the base of my shaft. Her pussy contracted around me and a rush of moisture flooded my thighs. I thought she might pull away or start crying (or both), but she simply sat there and panted quietly.

“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” she said at last. Then she felt the wetness between our thighs. “God, I made a mess. It’s so embarrassing.”

“No, it’s okay. I ... um ... I kinda like it.”

“You do?”

I nodded. “It’s like the big finale at the end of fireworks. It lets you know that everything went off with a bang.”

She actually laughed, but then sobered quickly and met my eyes. “You really are a nice guy, aren’t you?”

“I try to be,” I said self-consciously. “I guess I treat people like I want to be treated. You know, ‘do unto others... ‘“

She gave me a blank look.

“The Golden Rule?”

“Oh yeah. I remember that from Sunday school when I was a girl.” She breathed a soft, dark laugh. “I haven’t thought about it a lot since, though.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured.”

We sat in silence for a moment as she seemed to struggle with something. I couldn’t read her expression, but I could feel it in her body.

“I want to do something,” she said at last. “You probably won’t like it, but I promise to make it up to you.”

“Okay,” I said cautiously.

“Sara wants me to do a photo shoot. Lingerie and nudes and ... um ... maybe some sex stuff.”

“Ah. Okay.” I had some experience with that.

“I want you to do it with me. The shoot.”

“I dunno if that’s such a great idea,” I said. “I mean, Sara and I...”

“She’ll do it if I ask.”

“Yeah, but why would you? Ask, I mean.”

“It’s just ... something I want to do.”

I said yes after a bit more persuading. I probably should’ve said no, but my curiosity got the better of me. I told myself that the big head was making the decision, but I wasn’t so sure. And I knew myself well enough to admit that even though I’d told Sara that I wasn’t a threat, I was incredibly competitive. Deep down I wanted Daphne to like me best.

Great plan, genius, I mocked silently. What if you win? “In the meantime,” I said aloud, “I think you owe me a blowjob.”

Daphne blinked.

“You said you’d suck my cock,” I reminded her, “and it’s time to pay up.”

“Swallow too?”

“Of course!”