OK, so fine, you don’t believe me. To be honest, I am really beyond caring at this point. I just have a feeling about you, and I wanted to tell at least somebody the truth. I really am a vampire.

Yes, we are real. And yes, you can see my reflection in a mirror. Oh yes, indeed a stake to the heart will kill me, as can cars, bullets, and anything else that could kill you. And I am from what is now Italy, and love garlic. I simply barely age, and will live a very long time, so long as I continue to live as I have. No, I’m not undead, I still have a pulse, I can still bleed, and eventually will grow old and die. How long will I live? Well, roughly, I age less than a year in body each decade. Tell me, how old do you think I am?

Oh thank you, that is flattering. No, in reality I will say it like this, I was born when Ike was President. No, really. I remember thinking Buddy Holly and Elvis were the bomb, and that I wanted to grow up to be like Annette Funicello. I remember seeing the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, and Apollo 11 landing on the moon. And yes, I imagine I look around 28, that is because I was 23 when I changed.

Oh, that was over 40 years ago, in 1978. Yes, really, 1978. Jimmy Carter was President, Shadow Dancing, and Copacabana were some of the most popular songs, and I was spending most of my nights that I was not working as a waitress at this little club called Odyssey.

Oh, it’s long gone, but it used to be in West Hollywood. Yes, feel free to look it up, it was not any kind of vampire club, although there were a lot of us there. Oh yes, we can always recognize each other. What, oh no, she is not a vampire. She just kept her age well, plastic surgery I think. I honestly know of no celebrities that are vampires. How do I do it? Well, it’s not easy. I am lucky, in that I was born in what is now Italy, but was then the Free State of Trieste. No, not a joke, that is where I was really born. It ceased to exist in 1975, but by that point we had already moved here.

Well, if you must know, my father was a Marxist, then a Fascist. No, get that look off of your face, ignore what those idiots you see on the streets say, Fascists are not Nazis. That is Germany, not Italy. My mom was of Croatian descent, Dad was of Italian descent, and supported Mussolini when he was still a Communist. Yes, Fascism is really a form of Communism, you did not know that? During the First World War, Mussolini supported Italy in the war, but as a Communist he was supposed to be against it. Big split, he was kicked out of the Italian Communist Party, so made his own party. But we are here for other things, not old world history.

After World War II, the Free State of Trieste was created, and suddenly being a Fascist was not a good thing. Dad pretended to be a Socialist, and working on emigrating. I was 3 years old when he finally got the papers that let him move to the US, so this is where I was raised. As far as how I do it, in 1975 Trieste was broken into half, part becoming Italy, and part becoming part of Yugoslavia, now Slovenia. About once a decade or so now, I make my way back there and assume a new identity.

Oh, no, I did not always do it that way. But since 9/11, I have had to. You see, before then I would just get a fake identity, it was so easy back then. But now with all the checks, I find Eastern Europe is the only way I can get away with it. Go back, make some underworld connections, and then apply as a new relative with my old self as my sponsor. It’s not that hard, really.

You don’t believe me still? Well, feel free to go to the LA Times, look up an article there from March 1978 in the Style section. It was about Odyssey, and our decadent lifestyle, and disco and drugs. In one of them you can see me dancing in a white dress. Yes, that was before my change, before I even knew vampires were real.

What is it like? Well, let me start at the beginning.

One thing about the disco era, we were all quite loose. Drugs, alcohol, sex, it was an era of doing whatever you wanted to do. No, that was not the 1980’s, that was an era of conspicuous consumption and living above your means. Herpes had already stopped much of the free sex by then, and we were just becoming aware of AIDS. OK, fine, HIV. But I am older than you, back then it was just known as AIDS.

Well, let’s just say I was more than a bit of a slut. But many of us were, we had the pill, and almost anything we caught could be cleared up at the clinic for a $10 shot of penicillin. Oh yes, I got the clap several times, not that big of a deal. One advantage of being a vampire is I am immune from all diseases, but this one I can never get rid of.

Oh, I thought you would have figured that out now. Yes, vampirism is a disease. In fact, it is a sexual disease like AIDS. The conditions are very specific in order to get it, and for the rest of your life you require living cells from a host in order to survive. Well, it does not exactly have to be blood, but we do require blood at least once a month or so. No, I have never killed anybody that I know of, I do not need that much blood. Oh, about a pint is normally enough, I do not eat all that much.

How? Well, there are some fetish vampire groups, who do you think created that fetish? Look into almost any group into Satanism, Vampires, and you will find we are behind it all. We make ritual drinking of blood part of membership, and it is not hard to find somebody willing to open a vein to get the amount we need. Most times after I move, I just get some guy or gal drunk or stoned, and do it when they are unconscious.

The rest of the time? Well, actually I only need a few tablespoons every week or so. No, blood works also, but any living cells from a human host can provide me with what I need. Oh, you are dense, you don’t get it yet?

Sperm. Semen, cum, jizm, splooge, cream, bonk juice, creamy custard, ball batter, Oil of o-Lay, pick the term you like. Yes, about once a week or so I need some orally, it must be digested. Well, any research some of us have been able to do is quite carefully done and in secret, but it has something to do with our own bodies no longer able to make new cells by itself. We require living cells, which we then supplant to revitalize ourselves. Once a week or so we take a load for maintenance, but once a month or so we need more than that, which means either we take on a half dozen guys in a session, or we take blood.

Yes, actually I have done that. Well, that is getting ahead of my story, let me get back to it.

In 1978, I was one of many disco bunnies. Roller discos, disco clubs, I even went to Plato’s Retreat West a few times. Really, you don’t know what that was? Wow, that really makes me feel old now. It was a swingers club, where you could go and have sex with however many people you wanted. They had a dance area also, where many of us discoed naked. But if we got horny we could go to one of the many themed rooms and get it on.

But anyways, I was one of many gals like that back then. Working as a waitress at a place in North Hollywood, and mostly partying on the weekends. Not had a steady boyfriend since I dropped out of college, already by that age I was becoming a “love them and move on” kind of girl. But that was how I ultimately became what I am now.

How are we made? Well, actually that is both very easy, and very difficult. And I was actually one of the rare ones, an accidental vampire. I was not intended to become one, I just did. Oh, well, you see, we have to take in living cells from at least two vampires to become one ourselves. What, you don’t get it? Well, we need to take orally the fluids from both a male and female vampire, both within a 6 hour window.

Yes, I said both. Well, for the guy that is easy, a blowjob most times. And was not hard to give a blowjob, back then I was rather good at using phone booths. Yes, they were real things once, but you never see them anymore. Most had this little seat inside, perfect height to sit in, and have the guy open up and start slurping away.

The girl? Well, that is the harder part. You see, our normal secretions are basically mucus, no real living cells in them. You have to go down on the girl when she is menstruating. What, really? Never gone down on a girl when she is on the rag? Don’t worry, unless she is having a heavy flow it is not that big of a deal. A bit more tangy than she would normally be, ultimately you only need around a tablespoon or so of fluids from each. Get both of them within six hours, and you become a vampire.

Oh, yes I do know who it was that made me. The guy was named Marcus, he was a big black guy that I hooked up with on occasion at Odyssey. His cock was not all that big, but he was amazing at using it, and I loved sucking it. I met him that night at Odyssey, and actually did him in one of the phonebooths in the back. He then fingered me thoroughly and we headed back to the dance floor.

Towards the end of the night, I started dancing with Candy. No, that was the name she used then, but we had flirted off and on for months by that point. With her it was about four hours later, at her apartment. That night she was particularly horny, and she took me home when the disco closed. I was on some bennies, and she had barely opened up her sofa bed when we were getting it on. And she was on the rag, but as I could wash up afterwards I did not care.

Oh no, it is not painful at all. In fact, I did not even know for over a week. Well, after our night together I stayed the night, and the next morning went home. But I normally at that point only went out on weekends, maybe to a roller disco on Wednesday. But that week, I was particularly horny to suck on a cock. Now I know that was the first sign of what I had become.

You still don’t get it, do you. Yes, most of us are bisexual. Yes, guys also. Yes, they have to suck a cock and swallow the cum from a guy also. I think honestly that is why most accidental vampires are like me, bisexual girls. For guys, it is more likely that they were purposefully created.

Well, the next weekend I was back at Odyssey, and I noticed I was seeing some people differently. Oh, there were never many of us there, maybe two or three most nights. But when I went back on Friday, there were two that jumped out at me right away. One of them was a pretty guy I had seen a few times but never even talked to, and the other was Candy. She jerked when she saw me, and immediately came up and stared at my face.

Then, well, she apologized! She could see what I was, even if I did not get it yet. I tried to ask what she was sorry for, and she just gave this sad little smile, and said we would talk about it another time. That night I did suck off two guys, and it was funny in that I still wanted to suck more cock. I loved fucking, but it was like something had flipped, and now I desired to suck them more than anything else.