My return from Italy was planned to run as smoothly as a Swiss watch. Clothes straight in the washer, food for defrosting taken out of the freezer, quick run around with vacuum cleaner etc.

I had decorated the house before leaving for Italy and my tree shimmered, sparkled and shone in my front room; Christmas presents from family and friends were stacked neatly under the tree and cards from neighbours, pupils past and present, and the rest decorated my walls and door frames.

It was my Christmas Eve #2 and although the weather outside was overcast and grey, it was dry, and I decided a bike ride was in order. I changed into my cycling gear and after checking the tyres, I headed off into the hills; mentally planning a long circuitous route ... Of course, I was at the far end of the circuit when it started to rain. It started to rain lots and I had to slow down as my cycling goggles couldn’t cope with the downpour.

This was in fact fortuitous as two men ran across the road in front of me followed by a third hobbling with an injured leg and I had to come to a stop to avoid running him down.

I was about to express my anger at them for not looking when I saw the blood. The third guy had a genuine injury.

The three men were drenched and sheltering under a tree which gave no shelter at all. They were all big guys and apart from the injured leg on the one, appeared to be fit and well-muscled. One was white, a red head with a chest like a barrel, the second was a black guy of similar build while the third looked Asian and held a bloody injured leg off the ground.

All three were wearing army camouflage with military insignia on the shoulders. I dismounted and joining them under the tree which appeared to shed more water than was falling on it I said. “Hi guys. Are you on manoeuvres or something?”

The three looked me up and down in my skin-tight lycra and crash hat before replying.

They explained that they had been scammed by some chap they met in a pub in Hereford. They had been offered a holiday cottage over Christmas with access to a farm estate with shooting, fishing, mountain biking and other activities. They had paid him £600 and he had provided them with door key tagged with an address in West Wales.

What they found when they got there, was a small council owned group of houses outside Aberystwyth and the local police had confirmed that they were not the first to turn up at this non-existent holiday cottage.

To make matters worse one added “No Miss! We were going back to camp when the car skidded on a bend and came off the road. The car went into a lake together with all our gear. We decided to hitchhike back to camp”.

“How far do you have to go?” I asked.

“Hereford Miss! We are with The Regiment” I looked up in surprise.

“The SAS?” and they nodded.

“Well you won’t get there tonight.” I looked up at the approaching evening darkness adding “I will need to look at how bad that leg is.as well”.

The injured man sat on the bike despite his protests while the other two wheeled him along. Wheeling the bike meant We could take a short cut through the fields despite the near blackness which now surrounded us and we made good time back to my house.

I made them strip off their dripping clothing in the entrance hall and left my cycling clothes in a sodden heap besides theirs. Mentally I addressed the issue of three big men in vests and underpants (no commandos) while I stood there in sports bra and panties.

I ushered the three into the lounge, told them to go and shower and distributed towels to dry themselves. They would then wrap themselves in the towels while their underwear dried.

The Asian guy (they called him Ron) showered first and then I sat him on a chair and looked at his injured leg. I was relieved to see it wasn’t as bad as I first thought. Just a shallow cut about 2 – 3 inches long which I treated with antiseptic cream before bandaging it.

I collected their underwear and put it on a quick wash and dry cycle. Upstairs I could hear Henry, the black guys singing a vaguely familiar pop song while Greg waited his turn.

It took about an hour to wash and dry their underwear and I decided I had better feed them.

I pulled chops and oven chips from the freezer and onions and mushrooms from the cupboard.

I poured large whiskies for everyone and switched on the TV The chop and chips took less than an hour and a saucepan of green beans along with a helping of fries onion and mushrooms satisfied everyone, especially with further helpings of whisky and hot mince pies with cream (crème fraiche actually but nobody complained) It was nice having friendly faces around and as I slumped down on the settee between Greg and Henry, I suddenly realised that I was still in my sports bra and panties and I hadn’t showered.