Chapter 29: Sold!

November 2, 2001, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Steve

On Friday evening, Kara, Jessica, and I took Suzanne to Bucktown Bistro for a birthday dinner. Her friends were throwing her a party on Saturday evening, and we’d decided on a quiet dinner for our celebration.

“How do you feel after nearly a year with us?” Kara asked.

“Do you mean am I happy?” Suzanne asked. “Absolutely!”

“And is it what you expected?”

“I’d say ‘yes’, though I wasn’t quite sure what to expect with having all the kids around.”

I chuckled, “I think the only thing you can say about our kids is ‘expect the unexpected’!”

“They’re all amazing. I think the biggest surprise is just how mature they are. But having lived with you for nearly a year, I see where that comes from.”

“Is there anything you would change?”

“I can’t imagine what it would be,” Suzanne replied. “I have a great family, great friends, school is going well, and I’m enjoying life!”

“Do you plan to go home at Christmas?” Jessica asked.

“For a couple of days between Boxing Day and New Year’s.”

Our meal was fantastic, as always, and Alex had prepared one of his berry concoctions for my dessert. After I settled the bill with Alex, we headed home and I joined Suzanne in her room, she and Natalie having agreed to switch nights.

🎤 Jesse

“You know, you never said anything about Amber,” Libby said as I walked her home.

“What’s to say?” I asked. “First of all, she’s twelve; second, I’m happy with my relationship with you and don’t want to change things.”

“You know I wouldn’t care, right?”

“And you know I would, because I think my moms have the right idea. Not to mention I don’t need any drama in my life!”

“So, opposite your dad?”

“Exactly!” I declared. “I mean, seriously, what more could I want from a relationship? You and I get along really well, have similar interests, and the sex is fantastic! You’re happy, right?”

“Absolutely! I wasn’t trying to get rid of you! I was just curious.”

“How are things with Juliette?”

“OK, though I think she might decide to be exclusive with Trina.”

“Juliette’s idea or Trina’s?”

“Trina’s. She asked Juliette to be a couple yesterday. I’m OK with that, if it happens, because Juliette was never going to agree to the kind of relationship I want. I just need to find another bisexual girl.”

“Because finding a guy who wants to join in is easy?” I teased.

“I’d say! I think most straight guys would kill for that situation. Well, most guys besides you! I’m curious, if I met a bisexual girl, would you want to? I mean occasionally?”

“Ask me when it’s a real possibility,” I replied.

“OK! What time are we leaving for your game tomorrow?”

“You need to be at my house at 6:00am. We have the first game of the day.”

“Ugh. But I’ll be there! You guys are undefeated so far!”

“So far, but it’s a long season, and we still have to win the City and Regionals to be able to play for the Statewide championship.”

We had just crossed the street in front of Libby’s house when a guy in a ski mask stepped in front of us.

“Wallets!” he demanded, a knife in his hand.

“It’s in my back pocket,” I said calmly.

“Mine, too,” Libby said.

I reached around to get my wallet while Libby did the same, only when she raised her hand it had a pepper spray container which she emptied into the guy’s eyes. He started screaming and I pulled out my mobile phone and dialed 9-1-1 while Libby and I moved to her porch and she let us in the front door.

“Some guy just tried to mug us. My girlfriend sprayed him with pepper spray and he’s rolling around on the sidewalk right now.”

I gave the 9-1-1 operator the address and she asked me to stay on the line until the police arrived, which they did about four minutes later. By then, the guy had managed to move away, between the houses, though his knife was still on the sidewalk. Libby’s parents talked to the police with us, and they took the report, and said they’d put out an alert, but I knew that was a waste of time.

“You should call your moms,” Libby’s dad said once the police left.

“I’ll tell them when I get home,” I replied.

“We’ll drive you, just in case the guy is still around.”

I didn’t think it was necessary, but I knew they wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Of course, that resulted in them talking to my moms. When they finally left, I sat with my moms in the living room to talk.

“Are you OK?” Mom One asked for the third time since I’d arrived home.

“Yes. I was just going to give him my money and let him leave just like Dad said we should do if something like this happened. Libby had other ideas.”

“Did you know she carried pepper spray?” Mom Two asked.

“No! She surprised me, too!”

“I hate to say this,” Mom Two said, “but it might be a good idea not to walk late at night without a grown-up.”

“Because grown-ups don’t get mugged?” I asked. “And it’s not like this is a high-crime area.”

“You aren’t afraid?”

“Not really, no. I mean, I’d suggest the girls not walk alone, but I’m not afraid.”

“What do you think, Jen?” Mom Two asked.

“Steve will defer to Jesse,” Mom One said.

“Steve is not making this decision,” Mom Two said firmly.

“Let me think about it,” Mom One said. “And we do need to let Steve know.”

“I’ll do it,” I said.

“No, let me talk to your dad,” Mom One said. “I know what Mom Two wants, and my talk with your dad won’t be adversarial.”

“Then I’m going up to bed,” I said.

I said ‘good night’ and went upstairs.

🎤 Steve

Suzanne and I were cuddling after making love when someone knocked on the door.

“Yes?” I called out.

“Steve, it’s Jen. OK to come in?”

The door was locked so I disentangled myself from Suzanne and went to the door, not bothering to put on a robe.

“Oh for Pete’s sake!” Jennifer laughed when I opened the door.

“What?” I asked with a smirk.

“Put your toy away, please! I haven’t been interested in it since we made Jesse sixteen years ago!”

I let her into the room and put on a robe.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Someone tried to mug Jesse and Libby.”

“Are they OK?” I asked.

“Yes. Libby had pepper spray and used it. Her parents talked to the police with the kids. The guy had managed to crawl away before the patrol car showed up, so I doubt they’ll catch him. Josie thinks the kids shouldn’t walk alone at night.”

“I can see her point, though I think it’s a bit of an overreaction. What does Jesse think?”

“That girls shouldn’t walk alone, but otherwise he doesn’t think anything should change.”

“Sound logic, based on one incident,” I replied. “This is really a low-crime area, if you discount the usual shenanigans at the University. There’s also the logistical problem of needing someone to drive them everywhere, which is one of the reasons I don’t like Elyse’s solution about where to live. Did Jesse say what he would have done if Libby hadn’t had her pepper spray?”

“Hand over his money just as you said he should. He’s totally calm about it.”

“He would be,” I replied. “I know you and Josie need to work this out, and I’ll back you up, so long as the solution is reasonable. Josie needs to take into account the reality of the situation, too. We can’t limit the kids based on when we can drive them. What did Libby’s parents say?”

“They’re more concerned than you are, but they didn’t freak out.”

“Don’t mistake me being calm, cool, and collected for not being concerned. This is similar to the situation with Birgit in Vermont. I was concerned, but you know how I approach things like this.”

“I do. I guess from my perspective, anytime that any of the neighborhood kids need to go home after 11:00pm on weekdays or midnight on weekends, they need a parent to walk with them or drive them due to the curfew rules. I think I can use that to push the time back a bit.”

“Good luck winning that argument with Jesse and his friends,” I replied.

“I know,” Jennifer replied. “But you know word will spread and other parents are far more risk-averse than we are.”

“True. That’s probably the best line of attack to defeat Jesse’s argument, too. And if all the parents cooperate, we should be able to handle it. That said, I won’t back any restrictions on using the CTA or Metra, so long as they’re home by curfew. And you know my take on blanket curfews.”

“We never had any.”

“Exactly. It’s a product of the same kind of irrational thinking as other restrictions on teens that ought to be the decision of families, not the government.”

“OK. I’ll talk to Josie and probably some parents and work it out. I agree with you on public transportation. If we take that away from the kids, they’re basically stuck in the neighborhood.”

“OK. I’ll see you at Jesse’s game tomorrow morning.”

“You’re skipping Men’s breakfast?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll leave you to your regularly scheduled nocturnal activities! Good night, Suzanne.”

“Good night!” Suzanne replied.

Jen winked at me then left the room. I closed and locked the door, took off my robe, then got back into bed.

“Interesting reaction,” Suzanne said.

“Mine? Or Jen’s?”

“Jennifer’s!”

“She always found my sex life to be amusing in various ways. We’ve teased each other since we were both fourteen.”

“Your reaction was pretty much what I would have expected. On the other hand, if there’s another incident, your view will change.”

I nodded, “Yes, that’s true, because a one-off event is far different from a pattern of events. But we will talk about this as a family on Sunday evening to make sure everyone knows what happened.”

“You do realize that if the guy had threatened Birgit with a knife, the police would have found it embedded in the guy’s skull, right?”

“Without a doubt!”

November 3, 2001, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Steve

On Saturday morning, I was up early to walk Jessica to work, cuddle Birgit, and then had breakfast with Kara and Suzanne before Suzanne and I left for the ice rink.

“Are you going to join us tonight?” Suzanne asked.

“I’m going to spend time with Jessica and Kara. The kids will be out, and Natalie, Leigh, Hope, and Sarah will be with you.”

“The girls will be disappointed!”

“But the college guys will be happy! I need to come up with a nickname for your gang of friends.”

“Hmm ... you’re a Zappa fan, right?”

I laughed, “‘Crew sluts’ is NOT appropriate, even if you’re trying to ‘reclaim’ the word!”

“‘Church of All Worlds’ would be more appropriate for Philosophy Club.”

“‘Coven’?” I teased. “Though you’d all be ‘good’ witches.”

“I actually like that! It fits with your nod towards paganism with Loki.”

“And the marriage ceremony I did for Jennifer and Josie.”

“I like it, but I better check with the girls first. You’re talking about Elsa, Nickie, Kim, and Tessa, right?”

“Initially, but you can include whoever you want. I don’t determine who is in the Girl Gang, the Fluffle, or the Stepsisters.”

“You never gave me a pet name.”

“Well, if you and your friends are going to be the ‘Coven’ then ‘Locasta’ would work?”

“Who?”

I chuckled, “I’m messing with you, because I suspect the only things you know about The Wizard of Oz come from the movie. In the stage version which Baum wrote after he wrote the Oz series, Locasta was the Good Witch of the North, while Glinda was the Good Witch of the South. And in the books, there were ‘Wicked Witches’ of the North and South, not just East and West.”

“I assume they all have names?”

“I honestly don’t recall. I believe the Wicked Witch of the North was Mombi, but it’s been so long that I’m not sure I’m right. I don’t believe I ever knew any other names, if they even had names.”

“I like ‘Locasta’ because it’s mysterious! I think I’ll change my IM name, too!”

“No more ‘Petra’?”

“Did Jesus marry any of his apostles?”

“No, though we’re not married.”

“Would you? I mean, you refer to me as a ‘Junior Wife’, right?”

“Mostly when talking to Amir, but I’ve used it in other contexts, too.”

“Let me ask Kara,” Suzanne said. “That is the right way to do it, isn’t it?”

I chuckled, “If I were a Saudi sheikh, yes.”

“But isn’t that basically the model? I mean, allowing for us not being Muslims. Kara is ‘Senior Wife’ and therefore is in charge of the other wives, albeit not as a dictator. And she decides if you can have another wife, right?”

“It’s more complicated, but I suspect those situations in Saudi Arabia are more complicated than the outlined rules would indicate.”

“So what do you think? Is it OK to ask Kara?”

“Let me ask you a question first - do you envision sharing the master bedroom?”

“I guess I hadn’t thought it all the way through. The idea just kind of formed in my mind when you said we weren’t married and I asked the question without thinking about all the implications.”

“Kara, Jessica, and I are married to each other. You would be different in that you’d be married only to me.”

“Maybe it wasn’t such a hot idea.”

“Discuss it with Kara, if you think that’s the right thing to do. Does it bother you that we didn’t have some kind of ceremony?”

“No, it doesn’t bother me. It was just your comment about being married.”

“I think none of the usual words we use in English work very well. That’s why you chose the designation «cortigiana onesta», and why I use all sorts of foreign words to describe things we simply don’t do in America and as such don’t have proper words for.”

“You mean like «kami», right?”

“That’s the most important one, yes. I guess the ultimate question comes down to how we all define our relationship, not what specific words we use. Most people would call you a ‘girlfriend’ or ‘mistress’, but neither of those terms defines our relationship. The Italian phrase you chose comes close, but it’s not perfect. And even the terms ‘Senior Wife’ and ‘Junior Wife’ don’t really fit, because although Kara is called ‘Senior Wife’ it’s actually closest to «primus inter pares», though, given my affectation for all things Japanese, I’d go with «同輩中の首席» (dōhai-chū no shuseki) which is ‘chief among peers’.”

“That might make things more difficult in explaining, and even in use.”

“True. So perhaps the Greek «πρῶτος μεταξὺ ἴσων» (prōtos metaxỳ ísōn) and we use ‘protos’. It’s not as easy to understand as ‘primus’ which people can relate to ‘primary’, but all the techies will get ‘proto’ as in ‘prototype’ being the first of a model.”

“So Kara is the test model?” Suzanne teased.

“Actually, in a very real sense, yes. If you think about how things developed with her, they were really testing stages to come to the ultimate result of the two of us deciding to marry, and then deciding to marry Jessica. The choice for legal paperwork was merely one of who needed it more, so to speak. When Jess was at a point where she needed to be licensed, the ‘moral turpitude’ clause might have caused trouble for her, so we married legally and for the first few years, she kept the inner workings of our marriage from nearly everyone at UofC. It’s not all that different from how we’re careful to not expose the inner workings to people who don’t really need to know.”

“Hence Penny’s exile for breaking that rule and making assumptions she should never have made, despite them turning out to be accurate.”

“But only accurate after it happened, which was only because of what Penny said, which allowed it to happen, and might even have caused it, which would make it not a «post hoc ergo propter hoc» fallacy. But back to the ‘marriage’ question, I think the first thing we have to do is define terms and relationships, then figure out the proper configuration, taking into account how this would affect each of us, and whether or not we believe it’s the right thing to do.”

“Well, Commander Data, that does appear to be the logical way forward!”

“In one sense, the logical way forward is simply ‘status quo’ because we know it works. The question is, can we find something better with minimal risk. If not, then the logical thing to do is to make no changes.”

“That makes sense. And I want to reiterate that I’m happy. And you know there needs to be more input than just Kara, Jessica, and me.”

“My three girls, all of whom have feelings which have to be taken into account. The boys, too, though they’re less concerned about their moms than they are their dad and their grandfathers.”

“You do realize that so long as she gets her cuddle time, Birgit’s only question will be why the four of us haven’t been fucking from the start!”

I chuckled, “True. And Jesse will roll his eyes and wonder why I can’t be satisfied with just one wife. And what you just said about Birgit is an important question - and that’s your view on sexual intimacy with females. This isn’t a ‘do it because I want you to’ situation. This would be an ‘embrace it as your understanding of your sexuality’ situation. Having seen many women go through the discovery process, this is not something you can ‘fake until you make’ or do to make me happy. There’s a world of difference between the occasional threesome and a lifetime commitment to sapphic activity. I think before we even broach the topic with Kara, you have to figure out the answer to that question. There’s plenty of time and no rush.”